


Original Sin

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 125
Words: 169,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: Sometimes, one decision can change the entire tapestry of a person's life. And when Erin decides to share a cab with Aaron following the Adrian Bale case, she finds her life rapidly turning into something she never expected.
Relationships: David Rossi/Erin Strauss
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

Erin let out a frustrated sigh. Boston had always been a nightmare city to work in, and this had proven par for the course. At least with Florida, you expected the cases to just be insane, but Boston always meant unsolvable cases and tragic losses. This case today had proven to be no exception, and she genuinely felt anguished over the loss of six good agents at the hands of Adrian Bale. There was no doubt that Jason would be out on a leave of undetermined length. She groaned as she dug her hands into her hair as the implication of that washed over her. "I can't have Aaron as the SAC. He's so dismissive of me," she muttered as she leaned back in her chair to stare at the latest picture of her children. They were so happy, but that joy did nothing to help alleviate her bad mood.

"Ma'am, the Director is on line one for you."

She looked up at her assistant and gave her a small smile. "Thank you, Helen." Erin had known that this call was coming, but she still wasn't prepared to hear what he was going to tell her. "Hello, Director Sheppard," she said smoothly as she connected to the line, trying to fake her way through a polite conversation with the man.

"Erin, I'm certain by now that you know about Boston and what happened there. I'm sorry that your team lost an excellent member today, and will be without Agent Gideon for at least three months, if not longer. He was with the others when Bale set off that bomb, watched them die before paramedics could do anything. That sort of trauma sticks with a person."

"I know that far too well," she muttered, thinking about the Amerithrax case and how that trauma still clung to her, despite no deaths occurring on her team at that time. "But was there something that you wished to discuss with me, Sir?"

"Always direct, Erin. Yes. Since it appears that Agent Gideon, even when he returns to the BAU, will be in no position to lead Alpha, I am informing Agent Hotchner that he will be taking over as SAC for the team. And you're going to want to start looking for Benjamin's replacement. We all feel that it would be prudent if you chose a woman to add to the team, since outside of Ms. Jareau, there really isn't a strong female presence on the scenes."

"I will take that into consideration, Sir. When will you be informing Agent Hotchner about the change in command?"

"Tomorrow. He needs some time to decompress over what happened, after all."

She nodded, knowing that there were no words that would be appropriate in that moment, that she would seem bitter or cold if she protested the change. "All right, thank you, Sir. I'll start making up that short list tomorrow as well. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to control the situation a little better."

"This had nothing to do with you, Erin. It was entirely on Agent Gideon's head. He made a rash decision, and it resulted in a lot of unnecessary deaths. Try not to dwell on it too much."

"I'll try," she managed to get out, feeling strangely choked up by those words. "I'll be in touch soon." They ended the call, and once more Erin leaned back in her chair to stare at nothing. "I need a drink."

Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was nearly time to end her day, and she cleared her throat as she hurriedly finished looking over the files from the other teams, finding nothing out of order with them, and she signed off on the files before putting them in her outbox for Helen to file in the morning. With that finished, she pushed away from her desk and went over to her coatrack, slipping into her jacket and slinging her purse over her shoulder before striding from her inner sanctum. "Headed out on time today, Ma'am?"

"Yes. I need to unwind from the events that took place in Boston before heading home to my children. I might be late to work tomorrow."

"I don't see why you just don't take the day off. Today was awful for all of us, and since you're the leader, it hits you harder."

"If only the Director thought like you, Helen. I'll see you tomorrow." She gave her assistant a small smile before striding from the office and over to the elevators. She couldn't help but glance into the bullpen as she waited, seeing that Alpha team was already back and huddled together around Benjamin's desk. A pang of regret stabbed at her heart, and she shook her head a little as she slipped into the elevator, not failing to miss the glare that Aaron sent her direction as the doors closed.

Knowing that it wouldn't be prudent for her to take her car to the closest bar, she called for a taxi and directed the driver to where she wanted to go. Thankfully, it was still relatively quiet when she arrived, and she took a seat on one of the far stools and ordered a Moscow mule as soon as the bartender turned his attention to her. That drink was quickly followed by two more, and she was soon feeling a nice buzz. As she started to drink her fourth, the door opened and she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach as the one person she didn't want to see in that moment walk in, making a beeline for the bar. "Whiskey, neat," he said, his voice controlled and measured, and she groaned a little, wishing that the earth would open and swallow her whole in that moment.

Their eyes locked across the bar as he received his drink, and in one smooth move, he had knocked it back in one swallow. Tapping the glass, Aaron sidled over to her, sinking down on the stool next to her and holding out the glass for the bartender to refill. "I didn't expect to see you here, Aaron."

"Neither did I. Come to drink away your guilt?"

"Funny, I could ask the same of you." She knew that the situation would get no better from that moment on, and she hurriedly finished her drink before making to leave. His hand shot out and gripped her wrist tightly. "Let go."

"No, stay, drink with me. We need to mourn for Benjamin."

Shuddering a little, she pulled her wrist out of his grip, bringing it to her chest to rub absently as she glared at him. "I've already been drinking for him," she hissed, not failing to miss how he signaled for the bartender to bring them two more drinks. "I don't need any more."

"I beg to differ. Drink up, Erin. Drink to Benjamin." There was something in his tone that said he would brook no further arguments from her, and she shuddered as she clinked glasses with him, the alcohol tasting like bitter bile as it slid down her throat. "I suppose that you're glad Agent Gideon is out of commission."

"No. No one deserves to have what happened in Boston happen to them. No one should watch a colleague die when they can do nothing about it. I never took you as one to be cruel, Aaron. Hard, yes, but not like this."

He raised his eyebrow for a moment before shrugging. "I find that I have no niceness in my today, Erin." Before she could say anything more, he had called for another drink, and soon they were going drink for drink, the time for words seemingly over, even as they exchanged increasingly heated looks. She knew that she shouldn't feel this way, not for a subordinate, but her inhibitions always tanked when she was drunk, and she was far past that point now.

"I should get home," she slurred out, going to settle the tab she had racked up, only for Aaron to pay for the whole thing. "You didn't have to do that."

"You can pay for the cab ride back to our places. There is no way that we should be driving in our conditions." She nodded, which caused her head to swim, and then stumbled off the barstool. In the background, she could hear Aaron talking to the bartender, frowning a little at the fact that he sounded much less drunk than she felt. "Come along, Erin."

He took hold of her arm and guided her outside and over to the waiting cab. "That was fast."

"The bartender has one waiting anytime a patron gets too inebriated," he grunted out in reply, and she nodded, only for her head to swim once more, causing her to miss a step and trip over air into his warm body. His arm instantly closed around her waist, his hand palming her breast in a most pleasant manner. Before she could say anything about him removing that hand, his lips were crashing down on hers in a fierce kiss, and she shuddered a little as she instinctively pressed her body against his. "Do you really want to head home in this state?" he growled out, and she shook her head, knowing exactly what would happen from that moment forward.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was too bright, she thought as she woke up with a groan. Pressing her hand to her aching head, Erin sat up and blinked a few times, the unfamiliar sheet dropping around her waist as the events of the previous evening came crashing over her mind. Turning her head at the soft sound of a door opening, she saw Aaron glance back at her, his face a serious mask as their eyes met. Before she could say anything, he had left the room, and she bowed her head before bringing her hands up to her face, a harsh sob tearing from her lips as the enormity of what they had done hit her.

"I'm nothing more than a common whore," she murmured as she continued to sob. "How did I let this happen? I cheated on my husband, I caused him to cheat on his wife. I am never drinking again in my life." Stumbling from the bed, she made her way into the bathroom and managed to make it to the toilet before losing the contents of her stomach into the bowl, fresh tears streaming down her face as she continued to gag. Once there was nothing left in her body, she shakily rose to her feet and flushed away the contents before making her way to the shower and stepping inside, turning the water on and trying to wash away how she felt.

The water turned cold before she felt clean, but she knew that she had to get out, and she turned the water off, wrapping a towel around her body before drying her hair and making her way back into the room. Her clothes were strewn about, and she picked them up, wrinkling her nose at the stench of the bar that permeated them. Picking up her panties, she frowned to see that they were torn, and she absently rubbed at her hip before taking a look at the bruise that was forming there. "This is so lurid. We obviously fucked like animals. I have no idea how I'll tell Alan about this. I can't keep a secret of this magnitude from him." Erin felt fresh tears start to gather in her eyes as she slowly dressed, crumpling the torn panties and throwing them in the trash before picking up her purse and heading down to the reception desk.

"May I help you, Ma'am?"

"Just checking out, and I need to order a cab to take me home."

The clerk nodded as she picked up her phone, dialing a number. "There will be one here for you in five minutes. May I have your key?"

Erin handed it over before making her way over to the doors, knowing that the woman was obviously wondering where her luggage was, and putting together the awfulness her life had become in the space of a day. Shaking her head a little, Erin took a deep breath and pulled out her phone, seeing that she had a missed call from her husband. "There's no way to avoid this, Erin," she muttered as she called him back.

"Erin, are you all right? Where were you last night?"

"I, I got drunk because of what happened in Boston, and thought it would be best if I didn't come home in that state. I guess that I forgot to call and tell you that. I'm so sorry."

"I'm just glad that you're all right, darling. I told the kids that you had to spend the night in the office, so that they wouldn't worry. I have to go, I'll see you tonight."

Before she could tell him the truth that fluttered on her lips, Alan had ended the call, and she let out a deep sigh as she left the hotel and climbed into the taxi that had pulled up for her. After telling him the address, she settled back in the seat and shoved a pair of sunglasses on her face to block out the too bright sun. "Can you leave the meter running and wait fifteen minutes for me? I need to get to work, and I left my car there last night," she asked when the cabbie pulled into her drive.

"Sure thing, Ma'am."

She gave him a small smile as she slipped out of the back seat and fished her keys out of her purse, hurriedly letting herself into her home and rushing up to her bedroom, slipping out of her clothes as she went in order to be a little more efficient with both their time. It didn't take long for her to get changed, and she slipped into the bathroom to pick up her travel makeup kit, shoving it in her purse before racing back downstairs and out to the waiting taxi. "And now, to the FBI building. I have twenty minutes before I'm late."'

"It'll be close, but I'll do my best to get you there in time," the cabbie replied, and she nodded as she settled in her seat and pulled out the makeup, expertly doing her face as he drove. By the time he arrived at the building, she felt put together for the day, and she made certain to give him a handsome tip before heading into the building and up to her office.

"Oh, Ma'am, it is so good to see you! Your husband called yesterday, asking about where you were. I didn't know what to tell him, so I told him about what happened in Boston, and that you might have gone for drinks before heading home. It's what I would have done, if I was in your shoes. But you look upset. Is everything all right?"

To her horror, she burst into fresh tears, shaking her head a little as she made her way into her office, going right to her sofa and taking a seat, curling up in the corner as she tried to stop her tears. Hearing the door close, she looked up to see Helen standing there awkwardly, a little smile on her lips. "I made a huge mistake last night."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't talk to people about my mistakes or problems," she whispered, watching as Helen went over to her coffee machine and made her a fresh cup, bringing it over to her side and pressing it into her hand as she took a seat next to Erin on the sofa. "Helen?"

"You don't have to say a word, Ma'am, you just need to know that there's someone who is willing to support you no matter what. And I know that the Adrian Bale incident took a lot out of you, so it makes sense that you'd be off kilter. Let me guess, you had a little too much to drink last night and ended up in a hotel room without telling your husband where you were going? That's not really that large a mistake, you know. It's responsible, to not drive home or let your kids see you drunk."

She let out a watery laugh as she shook her head. "If only it was just that." Erin took a deep breath before sipping at the coffee. "Can I trust you? I need to be able to trust someone."

"Of course you can trust me. What happened last night?"

Helen cocked her head to one side as she looked at Erin, an encouraging smile on her lips. "I slept with a married man. I cheated on my husband because I got so drunk I couldn't think straight."

"Then it sounds like this man took advantage of you!"

Erin shook her head. "He was drunk, too. We both made a stupid, rash, decision, and I just feel so awful about it. And I don't think I can tell Alan, because he was just so understanding about things this morning when he thought it was just me sleeping off a hangover. How do I explain this?"

She knew that her mascara was running down her cheeks, but she knew that she could do nothing about that. "You don't. You go to your priest, ask for absolution, and move on, leaving it in the past. From the sound of things, it was a one time mistake, and you'll never see him again." Erin let out a bitter laugh. "Oh. Was it someone here?" She nodded. "Well, that certainly is a sticky wicket! But still, you're not going to make that mistake again, and we will move forward from here. I'll keep your secret close to my heart, and won't breathe a word about it to anyone." Erin gave her a small smile as she nodded, taking another sip of coffee as she tried to keep Helen's optimistic words in her mind and heart.


	3. Chapter 3

"Did you hear the news?" Helen asked as she bustled into Erin's office two weeks later, a bright smile on her lips.

"What news?" she asked as she looked at the pink stationary on her desk. "Is the fact that we're hiring a woman so twee that she uses pink scented stationary all over the BAU already?"

Helen laughed as she shook her head, taking a seat in the chair in front of her desk. "No, that is not common knowledge yet. I'm talking about Agent Hotchner's news!" Erin felt the blood drain from her face as she shook her head. "His wife is finally pregnant! According to Gina, they've been trying for three years, so this is most welcome news! Oh, I always love when there's a new baby on the way, even if it's not mine! Oh, who am I kidding? Especially since it's not mine. I'm more of the Auntie Helen type."

Erin gave her a small nod as she felt a wave if dizziness sweep over her system. "I'm certain that they're both overjoyed, Helen. Remember to take note of when she has the baby so that we can send flowers to the house."

"Of course!" Helen smiled at her, shrugging a little. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm dealing with the guilt in the best way possible, by going to the shooting range and practicing every morning." Helen laughed. "It is very therapeutic, Helen. I can even teach you, if you want."

"Maybe someday. Now, I should probably get back to work before your calls back up and you have to yell at me. Remember, anytime you need an ear, mine is open to you!"

She nodded as her assistant got up and scurried out into the outer office, not closing the door behind her. There was something so effervescent about the woman, something that calmed her more than she thought possible, and Erin found herself grateful that she had confided in her, since it felt good to have her secret shared. Turning her attention back to the resume in front of her, she shuddered a little. This Ms. Garcia was quite brilliant, especially since she had ended up on a list that saw her recruited to the FBI at such a young age. Still, it would be a major coup for her to add her to the BAU, and she sighed as she set the resume aside so that she could start to look over the budget proposal for next quarter.

"I have to announce you, Agent Hotchner! You can't just barge in there unannounced!"

Looking up from the proposal, she saw Aaron making a beeline for her desk, a stony expression on his face. "It looks like she's free, thank you." Before Helen could say another word, Aaron had closed the door to her office, and Erin jumped a little in her seat as she watched him stride over to her desk before taking a seat and staring at her.

"Can I help you, Aaron?"

"I think that we have a new team member to discuss. I know that I went over your head to approve her transfer to our department, but since we still haven't found a decent replacement for Benjamin, I thought that we could at least acquire a wonderful technical analyst. You know that I apprehended her, and made the decision to have her join the FBI rather than another agency. The NSA really wanted her for her talents."

"I remember that, yes," she replied as she focused on his face, trying not to look at his lips, to remember what they had felt like against her skin. Though that night was still hazy to her, there were a few memories that swam up in her thoughts at the worst time, like that very moment. Her nostrils flared a little as she drew in a deep breath, and blinked owlishly as she tried to regroup and refocus on the rest of the words coming from his mouth.

"…starts tomorrow. I think that you'll find she'll be a wonderful asset to our team."

"I agree. Have you given any more thought to who you'd like to replace Benjamin?"

Aaron shook his head. "Right now, I just want to focus on healing our team. This trauma is likely to both bond us tightly together and push us apart, and I am doing my best to not let it do the latter, because we need to be a cohesive group, especially if we want Jason to seamlessly fit back in when he returns."

"I understand that, Aaron. Do what you feel is best, then." He nodded and rose to his feet, about to leave the room when she called out once more. "Oh, and I hear that congratulations are in order."

"I'm sorry?" he asked as he turned around to look at her, his eyes narrowing.

"I heard that your wife is expecting a child. It will be your first, yes?" Aaron nodded slowly, still glaring at her. "This is a wonderful time for the both of you, then. The first pregnancy is a magic like nothing else." Her hand unconsciously fluttered down to her stomach, knowing that she was making things awkward between them. "Well, I need to get back to work. Good luck introducing Ms. Garcia to the team."

Aaron gave her a tight nod before leaving her office, closing the door with a jarring thud, and Erin relaxed in her chair as she shook her head. She rubbed her stomach absently, thinking about how much she would have loved to have a fourth child. Alan had been quite adamant that three was enough, though, and had gotten a vasectomy shortly after she had given birth to Tabitha, without telling her beforehand. It was still a bone of contention between them eight years later, and she wished that there was a chance that the procedure had failed. Given that she hadn't gotten pregnant since Tabitha was born, though, she knew that was a pipe dream.

"Do you need me to get you anything, Ma'am?"

Erin shook herself free from thoughts of what was not to be, and let out a long sigh. "Yes, would you mind running out to Jammy Pammy and getting me one of their apple fritters? I know, it's beyond the scope of your job, but I have to finish working on this budget for our meeting at eleven, and I wasn't in the mood for breakfast when I left the house." Erin pulled out her billfold and took out a twenty, handing it to Helen. "Get something for yourself as well, since I'm making you do this."

"It is a joy to help you, Ma'am. My previous boss was not as kind as you are."

"I'm not kind. I'm the Ice Queen."

"Only because you're strict. You have a high standard for yourself, and expect everyone else to hold themselves to that same standard. Maybe if everyone else got on board, then you wouldn't be seen in such a negative light. And, well, you remind me of my big sister, even if I try to keep things professional here."

Erin gave Helen a tiny smile as she chuckled. "I'm an only child, so I wouldn't know what it's like to have a sibling." Her stomach grumbled embarrassingly. "And now, please, save me from this."

"Yes, Ma'am." Helen gave her a wide smile before scurrying from the room and Erin let out another sigh as she thought about her interaction with Aaron. While it could have gone better, at least there was no hostility between them, something that she had been worried about in the aftermath of their drunken night together. And she hoped that it would remain that way from that moment forward.


	4. Chapter 4

Erin frowned and rubbed her stomach absently, feeling unbelievably queasy that morning. Pushing away from her desk, she hurried out of her office and headed to the nearest bathroom, barely making it into the stall before dropping to her knees and throwing up her breakfast. "Ma'am? Are you all right?"

Helen's voice caused her to smile a little as she shakily rose to her feet once more, flushing away the sick and heading out to the sinks, washing her hands and face before looking at her assistant. "I think that you can call me Erin at this point, Helen. And I think I need you to run another errand for me."

"Of course! What will help you ease away how you feel?"

Erin pursed her lips as she shook her head. "I don't need something to settle my stomach. I'll need you to run to the nearest drug store and purchase a pregnancy test and a bottle of orange juice. And I think that it goes without saying, but please do not breathe a word about this to anyone." Helen nodded solemnly as she reached out to pat her shoulder. Together, they went back to the office, and Erin slipped into her inner sanctum to grab her purse and take out a few bills for Helen to use, not knowing how much a pregnancy test cost these days. "Thank you."

Helen nodded and left her alone in the office, which allowed Erin to sink down into her chair and bury her hand in her face, counting back how long it had been since that drunken night in the hotel. Six weeks, which was right on time for her morning sickness to kick in, and she let out a deep sigh as she tried to tell herself that she was blowing things out of proportion. There was no way that she could have gotten pregnant from one night of sex, not when it had taken her and Alan three years of trying to conceive Karen. So this was just a bug and the test was just a precaution.

Somehow, Erin managed to distract herself until Helen returned with the discreet bag and the largest single serve bottle of orange juice Erin had ever seen. "I went with something fresh squeezed, since that's better for you, just in case."

"I really appreciate this, Helen," she murmured as she took her change from the woman and dumped it into her desk drawer before cracking open the bottle and taking a large swig. The acidity of the juice did manage to calm the roiling lurking in her stomach, and she drew in a few deep breaths as she finished as much of the juice as she could before feeling the need to pee. Opening the bag, she slipped the pregnancy test into her pocket and left her office, sparing a small smile for Helen as she went past her desk.

As Erin sat in the stall, waiting for the results of the test, she thought about how this was the last place on Earth that she wanted to be to learn she was pregnant. The three minutes seemed to tick by so slowly, and the growing sense of dread that began to fill her body as she waited. Finally, the time was up, and she picked up the pregnancy test and choked back a sob to see that she was indeed pregnant. "What the fuck am I going to do?"

In a daze, she get to her feet and flushed the toilet before stepping out and washing her hands. Erin looked at her reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing the pale, drawn, face that stared back at her. Shaking her head a little, willing away tears, Erin took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before slipping the pregnancy test up her sleeve, not wanting anyone to find it in the bathroom and potentially make the connection between her visit and the positive pregnancy test. It took some effort, but she managed to keep her cool mask on her face as she went back into her office, though Helen have her a stricken look as she passed by her desk.

As she sank down onto her sofa, she heard Helen enter and close the door, but she didn't look up at her as she struggled not to cry. "I take it that you got results you didn't want?"

"You would be correct. I'm pregnant, and my life is about to change radically." Helen reached out and patted her knee gently, and she drew in a shuddery breath as she turned her head and looked at her assistant. "Alan's going to know that the baby isn't his. The truth is going to come out in the worst way possible, and it's my fault because I couldn't own up to my betrayal."

"There's still a possibility that it's Alan's, you know. There has to be a failure rate with vasectomies, right?"

She gave Helen a desperate, quasi-hopeful, look and shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Well, why don't you ask that new technical analyst for the BAU? She's supposed to be brilliant at finding out information about anything faster than you could say the word. As long as you don't tell her who you think that father is, you should be safe. Right?"

Erin shrugged again as she swiped angrily at her cheeks. "Perhaps. I, I should go talk with her and see if she can give me a larger ray of hope. Thank you, Helen."

She nodded and got to her feet before helping Erin to stand. "You are most welcome. And I'll order your favorite Chinese for lunch today. You need something comforting to make up for the hell your mind is putting yourself through right now."

Erin smiled as she tugged on her suit jacket to remove any unseen wrinkles and took a deep breath. "That sounds delicious, thank you." She then sailed out of the office and out into the hall before making her way into the bullpen, feeling numerous pairs of eyes start to track her as she made her way over to Ms. Garcia's office. Erin tried to ignore the weight of the stares, but swallowed thickly nonetheless as she raised her hand to knock firmly on the door.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" the younger woman asked as she opened the door, and Erin nodded as she tried not to comment on the outfit she was wearing, knowing that was a battle she did not want to wage, not when there were other battles that needed her attention. "Come inside."

She felt like a bobblehead as she nodded once more, entering the office and following Ms. Garcia over to her desk. "I have a rather personal question to ask of you. My assistant thought that you would be able to source the information quicker than either of us would be able to." Unconsciously, her hand covered her stomach as she drew in a deep breath. "And I would rather not have these searches show up on my computer here, since it is rather sensitive."

"Of course, ma'am, I completely understand. What do you need me to look up for you?"

"The failure rate on vasectomies done in the last seven years."

Ms. Garcia's eyes widened as she glanced down at Erin's stomach, a hesitant smile spreading across her lips. "Are you, that is, is this search that personal in nature?"

She wanted to commend the woman on her tact, but still felt in a bit of a haze over the truth that she was facing, and so she nodded. "Yes, it is. The person in question had a vasectomy shortly after the birth of his third child, and his wife has found herself in a most unexpected situation. While I advised that it was virtually impossible that someone should become pregnant after something like that had occurred, she still is holding out hope that it is possible."

Ms. Garcia gave her a small nod of understanding as she turned to her computers and began to type away on her keyboard quickly. "Well, it appears that there is a tiny sliver of hope for this woman, since it appears that there is a one percent failure rate with vasectomies. I hope that it I'm not speaking out of turn when I tell you to tell your…friend congratulations on her pregnancy, however unexpected it is."

A sharp gasp caused Erin to whirl around and look into Aaron's brown eyes, watching them narrow as they flickered down to her stomach before meeting her eye once more. "Thank you for quickly finding out that information, Ms. Garcia," she murmured quietly as she brushed past Aaron, knowing that she had to escape as quickly as possible before being called out by him in front of all of his colleagues.


	5. Chapter 5

Erin was still rattled by her encounter with Aaron when she made her way back into her office. Her heart raced as she paused in front of Helen's desk, waiting for her to look up and acknowledge her presence. It didn't take long, and she was able to watch the encouraging smile drop from Helen's face. "What happened?"

"One percent failure rate, Helen. The likelihood of this being Alan's child is slim to none. I suddenly find myself with a piercing headache, and will have to go home. But feel free to order Chinese food for yourself and put it on my tab. Thank you for all that you've done to help me so far." Before Helen could answer, Erin scurried into her office and picked up her purse, deciding to leave all work there, and play catch up the next day, even though it would most likely fuck her entire week over. "If I have any truly important calls, please forward them to my cellphone. The rest can wait until tomorrow, when I have a clearer head to deal with everything. I just…"

"You just need to wrap your mind around the fact that you have a baby on the way and how to best make certain that everything with your pregnancy goes smoothly. I know that I wasn't here for your last one, but I promise that I will do whatever I can to ease your way."

The fierce loyalty was not at all what Erin was expecting, especially since Helen knew of her indiscretion with Aaron. She truly was expecting to find some ostracization, some judgement, so being accepted like this would truly make her job easier in the coming months. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Helen. Thank you," she whispered as she drew in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. "I will see you tomorrow, come hell or high water."

"I would expect nothing less, Erin."

They dipped their head a little as Erin turned on her heel and started for the elevators, only to see Aaron from the corner of her eye. He looked mad, which made her heart thump a little in her chest as she turned and stealthily made her way over to the stairwell and hastily made her way down to the ground floor, not breaking pace as she crossed the parking lot and let herself into her car, making a beeline for home.

Erin felt like she was going to throw up the entire drive, but she kept her breathing slow and steady, swallowing the bile that pooled in her mouth in her effort to keep control until she was in her own home. Still, she had to run to the downstairs bathroom the minute she was inside, the only thing coming up orange juice and bile. This was one thing she had not missed about pregnancy in the slightest, but it did confirm for her that she was indeed pregnant, and that it was not Alan's. Because there was no way that her life would work like that. She was going to pay for this indiscretion, and she deserved it. A part of her thought that she should just have an 'A' branded on her chest so every future lover would know that she was less than faithful.

Shakily getting to her feet, Erin stumbled over to the sink and washed her face before brushing her teeth in an effort to remove the bitter taste of bile that lingered in her throat. Her feet guided her over to the living room and she sank down onto the sofa, curling up in a tight ball as she pulled the blanket her grandmother had knitted around her body, needing the comforting warmth of it in that moment. "Aaron knows I'm pregnant now, and he's smart, so he'll be able to figure out that this baby isn't my husband's, not with the questions I was asking Ms. Garcia. And he could very well ask her what we were talking about, and she was well within her right to tell him everything. I didn't swear her to secrecy."

Groaning a little, she was suddenly grateful for the fact that the children were in school, and that Alan was at work, as that allowed her to decompress without them asking too many questions about why she was upset and why she was home already. Letting out a long breath, she got to her feet and went into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water before taking a donut out of the box and making her way back to the living room to nibble at the snack. She would have been fine, had her phone not rang, and she pulled the device out to see that Helen was calling. "Hello?"

"Erin! Are you home yet?"

"Yes, why?"

"Agent Hotchner left here five minutes ago, and he was furious about something. The only reason I saw him was because I had to get a fresh cup of coffee from the break room, and he was clearly muttering about something. He didn't even say excuse me when he bumped into me, just looked at me as if I wasn't even worth apologizing to, which is thoroughly unlike him. So, if I had to hazard a guess, he's put things together, and is headed your way, though I don't know how he knows where you live. I certainly didn't give him that information."

"I know that you wouldn't do that, Helen. He probably asked Ms. Garcia for that information, and she would give it to him no questions asked, since he is her supervisor, and he has every right to know that information. Thank you for the head's up, this can at least allow me time to get upstairs and pretend that he isn't here, if he should show up."

"All right, I'll keep feelers out for information, and pass it on to you as I get it. I'll see you tomorrow, Erin."

"Yes, tomorrow," she whispered as she ended the call, feeling her stomach start to roil once more. Setting aside the last of the doughnut on the coffee table, Erin got to her feet and made her way back to the bathroom, throwing up the food and water before collapsing onto the floor and pressing her hands against her stomach. "Six weeks, baby. You're six weeks into your development, and it doesn't quite seem real to me that you're on your way. I will do everything in my power to make certain that Alan is your father, and that Aaron never figures out that our mistake resulted in you. You can be my little miracle baby."

Her words were interrupted by a heavy knocking on the front door, and that was when she knew that Aaron had arrived, leaving her without the opportunity to disappear upstairs, since someone could see the stairs from the door. Heaving out a deep sigh, she pushed herself to her feet and tried to prepare herself for the confrontation to come. Bile once more began to pool in her mouth, and she swallowed thickly as she slowly made her way to where he was, knowing that whatever happened next, she would never be able to say the right thing.

Opening the door, she looked up into his stony face, and fought back tears, somehow knowing that even if they were justified, tears would only make him angrier in that moment. "May I help you, Agent Hotchner?"

He pushed past her to enter her home, and she frowned at him as she closed the door, knowing that she couldn't force him out of the house, that he was too strong, and she was too tired to do that. "I overheard the end of your discussion with Garcia, and I have to know. Are you pregnant?"

From the look on his face, she knew that she couldn't lie to him, and she licked her lips before swallowing three times in quick succession and then gave him the only answer she could. "Yes."


	6. Chapter 6

"You're lying," he hissed as he stepped forward, causing her to back up a step and wedge herself in the corner, feeling like a caged animal. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing! This is going to be Alan's baby!"

"Oh, your husband? Who's had a vasectomy, so the likelihood of him fathering said baby is slim to none? Please, we both know that that would be a lie. Are you planning on keeping that lie up forever?"

Erin blinked a few times as she tried to think about what answer, and the first tears began to tremble at the corners of her eyes. "It's not a lie. This is his baby."

"You are a horrible liar, Erin. I don't know why I didn't see that before. And I'll have you know that I love my wife, far more than you love your husband." Before she could say another word, Aaron was leaning into her space and capturing her lips in an angry, hungry, kiss. This was the last thing that she had ever expected, and so she didn't push him away automatically, instead allowing his arm to close around her waist and draw her closer to him as he walked her through the hall into her living room and down onto the sofa, kissing her all the way, even as his other hand fumbled with the buttons on her blouse, yanking a few of them a little too hard and loosening the threads as he shoved the halves of it apart in order to caress and squeeze her bare flesh, shoving her bra up towards her neck in an effort to have free access to her breasts.

Again, it felt like her brain was two steps behind her body in its reactions, and she let out a little mewl of a cry when she felt him tug off her panties and stroke her vulva a few times in order to arouse her before thrusting into her almost ready body. "Aaron!" she cried out, feeling desire and shame mingle in her as they continued to rut like animals on her sofa.

"Hush," he said harshly before capturing her lips in a fierce kiss as he quickly finished, leaving her hanging on the precipice of an orgasm. "I don't know why I put myself in these situations. This is so toxic. What am I going to tell Haley?" he said beneath his breath as he climbed off her body, staring down at her nudity. Erin shrank into a ball as she tried to hide her body from his gaze. "You're not saying a word about this. To anyone."

"Why would I? This is my greatest shame," she whispered as she looked away from him, hating herself more than ever. Now that she could think rationally, she knew just how culpable she was in this fiasco. "Just, just go. This is not your baby, it never was." Closing her eyes, she listened to him storm out of her house before bursting into harsh sobs, not bothering to right her clothes as she let her emotions out. Finally, she felt cried out, and she sat up, pulling her panties off her ankle and righting her bra before buttoning her blouse as best she could before getting to her feet and stumbling over to her purse, grabbing out her cellphone and taking it upstairs her bedroom.

Dropping the panties into her hamper, she then stripped out of her clothes and put the skirt and bra in the hamper as well before wrapping her robe around her body and making her way into the master bathroom, filling the bathtub with water before dropping the robe to the floor and climbing in. As she allowed the warm water to lap at her skin, Erin unlocked her phone and scrolled through her contact list until she came to Ms. Garcia's office number. Calling it, she brought the phone to her ear and waited to be connected to the woman, hoping that her voice would sound normal, that it wouldn't give away how upset she currently was with herself. She knew that there would be some people who would say that what had just happened between her and Aaron was less than consensual, but she could have stopped him, she could have said no, once her mind recognized what was going on. Instead, she had let her body's primal urges take over and for what? A quick fuck on her sofa that meant nothing to either of them.

"You've reached the office of Penelope Garcia. How may I help you?"

The younger woman's voice cut through her thoughts and she drew in a deep breath. "Ms. Garcia, this is Erin Strauss. I thought that I had saved David Rossi's number in my contact list, but I cannot find it. Would you be so kind as to send it to my cellphone?"

"Of course I can do that, ma'am. It might take me a minute or two, but I'll send it along as soon as I find it."

"Thank you, Ms. Garcia."

"You're welcome! Look for that text soon."

Ms. Garcia ended the call before Erin could say another word, and she sighed a little as she set the phone on the edge of the tub, sinking down in the water a little as she tried to wash the feeling of shame off her skin. As her hand brushed against the gentle rise of her stomach, she choked back a sob, wondering how she would let Alan know that she was pregnant. She didn't want to tell her husband about this, things had been rocky enough between them in the last few years, since she still had issues with the fact that he had gotten the vasectomy in the first place. He would know, from the moment that she even began to tell him about the miracle pregnancy, that she had cheated on him, and he would be right. Erin knew that the fallout would be bad, no matter what, and that was what she least looked forward to. Which was why she supposed that her first instinct was to reach out to David. He knew what it was like to be facing the disastrous end to a marriage or two, and could likely give her advice on how to navigate the way forward.

Taking a deep breath, she sank beneath the water and looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep from blinking against the water. Finally, the burn of holding her breath was too much, and she rose back up and heaved a few shallow breaths before feeling like she felt back on even keel. The phone rattled against the edge of the tub, and she shook off one hand, trying to get it as dry as possible before picking up the phone and pressing the home button to see who had just texted her.

_Here's Agent Rossi's phone number, ma'am. I'm sorry that it took me so long to track down, usually I'm faster than this, but I got sucked down into a rabbit hole by all of his accomplishments, and may have ordered a book or two of his. Anyway, as I'm certain you'll find out in the near future, I tend to ramble a bunch, even in text messages, so sorry! But before I let you go, I just wanted to say congratulations on your little miracle baby! Your husband is going to be so surprised that he's part of that small one percent fail rate! PG_

She shook her head a little at the stream of words on the screen, knowing that the younger woman meant well, even if it was just more of a knife twisting in her heart. Unlocking the phone, she touched on the number Ms. Garcia had sent, and brought the device to her ear, praying that David would answer her and be able to her navigate a way out of the mess she was in.


	7. Chapter 7

After three rings, Erin heard the call connect, and it was a struggle to keep from bursting into tears from the first sound of his indrawn breath. "Rossi here."

"David, please don't hang up on me."

"Erin?"

"Yes."

Her voice broke on that one simple word, and she pressed her lips together to keep the sob in as the brief silence seemed to grow between them. "Are you all right?"

"No, that's why I called. Would, would you mind coming over and talking to me? Friend to friend? I know, we didn't leave on the friendliest of terms, but I still consider you my friend. The children will be home from school soon, and I could add an extra plate to the table. I just, I need to talk to an adult outside the situation who can give me some sound advice."

"I'll do you one better, Erin. I'll be at your house in thirty, and will make supper for everyone, and we can head out for drinks afterwards. It's been a while since I caught up with Alan, after all." She chuckled a little as she nodded. "You still like eggplant parmesan?"

"If you're making it from scratch? Yes."

"Excellent. I'll see you soon."

Before she could say another word, he had hung up, and she let out a deep sigh as she added his number to her contacts before draining the water and climbing out of the tub. After wrapping a towel around her body, she padded out into the bedroom and began to dig through her closet for something that would be appropriate for their meal, and drinks out afterwards. Jeans sounded like the last thing she wanted to wear, so she settled on a soft knit skirt and a billowy blouse before getting fresh undergarments out. Erin had just finished dressing and fixing her hair and makeup when the doorbell rang, and she knew that David was already there. Squaring her shoulders, she took one last look at her reflection, smiled a little, and then made her way downstairs to the front door. "That was less than half an hour."

"You might want to check your watch again, Erin. It's actually been closer to forty-five minutes. You really aren't feeling well, are you?"

She shrugged as she welcomed him inside, seeing that his hands were holding a good number of bags. "I've been better, yes. Here, let me take a few of those." Before he could protest, Erin had grabbed a few bags and began to make her way to the kitchen, expecting him to follow after her. Together, they set out all the ingredients that he had brought over, and they set about making the meal together, neither saying a word, as if he knew that she couldn't talk in that moment. Still, the companionable silence helped her to feel a little better about her current situation.

"Mom! I didn't know that we were going to have visitors tonight!"

Her head shot up as she heard her children tumble into the house, and she glanced at David, giving him a small smile before calling out, "I have an old work colleague over. He offered to make us supper before taking me out for drinks so that we can catch up on what he's been doing. And I will have to try and refrain from boring him with too many stories of my beloved children."

Bruce rolled his eyes a little as he dropped his lunch bag on the counter before kissing her cheek. "She does get mushy, so be certain to reel her in. I'm going to work on my homework before supper."

"Sounds good, Brucie," she replied as Karen set her bag next to Bruce's, hugging her quickly before taking a seat at the kitchen table. "Are you staying in here, Karen?"

"Yeah, it's nice and warm in here, and I'll stay more focused with people around me. You don't mind, do you?"

Erin shook her head before shooting a quick look at David, seeing that he was grinning. "That will be fine, honey. How about you, Tabitha? Are you staying down here with us, or heading up to your room to do your homework?"

"I'll stay down here with you all. I don't have much to do, anyway. Just some boring math worksheets. I'd rather be reading my faerie book." Erin tried to swallow the giggle the tickled her lips at just how much her youngest child sounded like her in that moment, and it didn't help that David was also trying to swallow his laughter.

"All right, darling. Get to it, and if you get stuck, we can help you." Tabitha nodded as she added her lunch bag to the pile on the counter before hugging Erin tightly. "You can't hold on to me and do your work. Besides, we have to finish the meal."

"Fine, Mama." Tabitha held her a little more tightly for just a moment before letting go and taking a seat next to her sister and pulling out a workbook from her backpack and getting down to work. Giving them another gentle smile, she turned back to what she was doing at the counter, finding herself so comfortable with David at her side. That was a thought that she didn't want to dwell on, since it made little sense. She loved Alan, she shouldn't feel so right in this situation. But a part of her mind screamed that she needed to hold on to this fleeting feeling of peace, because as soon as David knew about her secret, it was very likely that he would think the worst of her.

"You've gone wool gathering again, Erin. Just a few more hours, and you can unload your heart on me," David whispered in her ear as he took the eggplant from her hands to add it to the glass dish. "All right, I'll pop this in the oven to start baking, and then get to work on dessert, if you want to start on the garlic bread," he said a little louder, and Erin nodded, grateful that he had gotten her out of her thoughts.

"I can do that, yes. I do hope that you brought a good amount of garlic, because my garlic bread always comes with more than most people consider necessary."

"I remembered that about you, Erin, so yes, I brought a few extra bulbs of garlic for you to use." She laughed as she took them from his hand and began to throw together the garlic butter she would use to baste the bread with. It didn't take long to get that together, and then Erin was applying it to the thick slices of bread before forming them back into a loaf and wrapping it in foil so that she could add it to the oven shortly before they were ready to eat. "All right, do you want to start dishes while I finish up the dessert?"

"Keeping me focused?" she asked, relieved to see him nod. "Good, I need that right now."

"That's what I figured." He gave her a quick wink, and she rolled her eyes as she began to fill the sink with water, soaking the pans first as she rinsed off the utensils. They were just about finished when she heard Alan's car in the garage, and Erin allowed a false smile to spread across her lips as she thought about greeting her husband and trying to make it so that everything appeared normal, when that was the farthest thing from the truth.


	8. Chapter 8

"All right, bella, what can I get you to drink? If I remember rightly, your usual is a dry martini, yes?"

Erin nodded a little before catching herself. "Normally, yes. Tonight, I'm just going to have a Shirley Temple."

David's eyebrows rose a little in surprise before he nodded and stepped away from their table to head up to the bar. In that moment, Erin knew that she had just given herself away, and she regretted agreeing to come to his favorite bar when they could have just as easily headed out for coffee. Though that would have given her away as well, since she knew that she shouldn't have caffeine at the moment. A deep sigh slipped out of her lips as she folded her hands over her stomach and stared at the table, trying to keep the tears at bay once more.

"All right, Erin, spill. Why is this pregnancy making you so sad?"

She accepted the glass from his hand and took a small sip before bursting into tears. "You're going to hate me as much as I hate myself and as much as Alan will hate me when he finds out that I'm pregnant."

"Erin…"

"No, don't comfort me," she muttered as she waved his hand away. "I have fucked everything up, David. And not just once, but twice. Two times I exercised such poor judgement, and I just, I need your help. Please."

He finished his reach across the table, taking hold of her free hand and tightening his fingers around it as he cocked his head to one side. "I take it that the baby is not Alan's?" She shook her head. "Who did you sleep with?"

"Aaron Hotchner." Her voice was a harsh whisper, but she knew that he had heard her by the way his hand squeezed hers almost painfully tight. "The first time, where I ended up pregnant, was just after the Bale incident. We both ended up at the same bar and got progressively more and more drunk, and decided to share a cab home. Only, we didn't head to our homes, but a hotel. I think you can infer what happened from there, seeing as how you still have quite the reputation in the BAU. He walked out on me the next morning, and I realized that I had made a horrible mistake."

"You were drunk."

"That might excuse the first time we slept together, it most certainly does not explain away what happened this afternoon. I went to the new technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, to see if she could tell me about the likelihood of Alan's vasectomy failing. She said that the chances are less than one percent, and now thinks that I'm having a miracle baby."

"And Aaron fits into that how?"

There was none of the recrimination that she had expected in his voice, and she dared to look up into his eyes, giving him a watery smile before taking another sip of her drink. "He walked into her office towards the end of our conversation. And I knew that he knew. So I did what any sane person would have done and fled home. Only, he found me there, and we argued, and things got out of hand. I could have said no, I could have made the right choice, but I didn't. I allowed him to screw me on my sofa, and reveled in it, because it allowed me to work out my anger and fear. Aaron is so furious with me, though. I think he thinks that I'm going to tell his wife about the baby. But I don't want to ruin his marriage just because the truth will ruin my marriage. That's not fair to her. So, David, how do I manage to get myself out of this disaster that I made of my life in seven short weeks?"

Erin broke down crying once more, feeling like everyone in the bar was noticing her distress, and she scooted closer to the wall, trying to hide away from the prying eyes that she was certain were watching her. David noticed the reaction, as he got up from his side of the booth and slid in next to her, one arm encircling her shoulders as the other rested on her knee, his thumb rubbing back and forth in an effort to soothe her. Letting out a heaving breath, she thumped against his chest, curling the fingers of one hand into the fabric of his shirt as she took a few gulping breaths in as she tried to keep from crying. "Let it out, Erin. You won't feel better until you do."

She nodded jerkily before turning her face into his shirt and allowing herself to cry. It was easy to allow him to comfort her, even though their history was so rocky, since he wasn't judging her for what she had done. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a complete mess tonight. I was hoping that we could have an adult conversation. I think the hormones are already setting me off balance."

"Well, your body is trying to grow a new life in it. All right, Erin, let's sit up and have that adult conversation. You're only seven weeks along, you don't have to carry this pregnancy to term, and only three people would ever know that you had been pregnant."

She shuddered as she picked up her drink and took a long sip. "There's just one small problem with that very good option. I've so desperately wanted a fourth child since Tabitha was born that I'm already attached to this life. Even though it's going to torpedo everything, this is very much a complicated, wanted, pregnancy."

"All right, so you're going to have to explain to Alan about how either he's that one percent miracle case where things grew back or that you made a mistake. Krystall knew that I had made such a mistake before I could tell her, which was what led to our marriage dissolving. But if I had been open with her from the beginning, I might have been able to salvage our marriage."

She nodded a little as she twisted the glass around in her hands. "But it wasn't just one mistake. It was two. The first might have happened when we couldn't exactly talk about boundaries, but I was fully sober for the second time."

"And you'll have to explain that to him. But you don't have to do it tonight. Not when you're so off kilter, because that won't be good for either of you. And you're not showing yet, so you could even take a few weeks to think about how you're going to tell him. But that will just mean that you have to act normally around him, and not like you're guilty. Even as the guilt eats away at you."

Erin laughed a little as she shook her head. "I am well familiar with guilt, David. Alex still refuses to speak with me, and that's a wound that refuses to close. Even after all these years." Picking up her glass, she took another sip before frowning into the empty glass. "Can I get another?"

"Of course. I'll be right back."

She nodded as she settled back in the booth and waited for him to reappear. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Erin. And I also want you to know that I will be here to support you no matter what happens next in your life, because I understand a little of what it's like to be in your position. Are you thinking of names for her yet?"

"Her?"

"You've had two girls already, Erin. I'm just feeling things out based on the current trend." She laughed, a true laugh, and shook her head as she smiled at him. "See, this is why you need me in your life, babe. I will make you laugh when you most need it."

"You are incorrigible, but I suppose that that is what I need right now. If things go to hell?"

"You can count on me as a friend, I promise." She smiled at him and nodded, nursing her drink as they began to talk about his latest book, and how well it was doing on the charts.


	9. Chapter 9

Erin had been consciously avoiding talking to Aaron in his office for the last three weeks, since she still hadn't told Alan about her pregnancy. Now that she was nearly out of the first trimester, though, she knew that it would have to be soon, since she was already starting to show and he would start asking questions about her weight gain and why her breasts were so sore lately. Still, with Ms. Jareau out sick, she had to venture there to take him the new cases.

Glancing at her clock, she saw that it was still early, which meant that she could afford to take time in order to center herself before she had to be in close contact with him. "I brought you your oatmeal and a strawberry smoothie, Erin. I know that you've been struggling this last week with the morning sickness, so I did a little digging on the internet to find some things that would soothe your stomach and maybe allow you to keep some of this down. And I can run those files to Agent Hotchner if you want me to. I know that things are rather fraught between the two of your still, and I don't want you to be placed under further stress, especially since you're not out of the first trimester just yet."

She looked up at Helen, giving her a soft smile as she took the cup and food from her hands. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Helen. You didn't sign on for taking care of me."

"I'm your assistant, it's part of my job. Those files?"

Erin shook her head as she took a sip of the smoothie, finding it soothing on her throat. "No, that's my responsibility, and I have to learn how to face him. After all, it would look odder if I avoided him totally, since we're supposed to have a decent working relationship. I'd rather keep as much heat off us as possible, so that no one gets suspicious. After all, we all know that this is Alan's baby, even if I haven't found a way to tell him the wonderful news yet."

The smile on her lips wobbled a little as Helen nodded, the sympathy on her face almost overwhelming. "Of course, Erin. Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

"David told me the same thing, actually. I am so glad to have found people who want to be protective of me, even when I made such a massive mistake."

Helen cocked her head to one side as she frowned. "We all make mistakes in life. If I castigated you for this, you'd have to hold my feet to the fire for every time that I messed up. This world would be a much better place if we could give each other a lot more grace."

"Truer words, Helen." She popped the lid off her oatmeal and began to stir it with the spoon before digging in. This was exactly what she needed in that moment, and she gave her assistant a warm smile before shooing her off. As she consumed her second breakfast that morning, Erin felt her stomach begin to settle a little as the anxiety left her system. This had to go well this morning, since she had to act like everything was normal.

Finally, her food was gone, and she knew that she couldn't avoid interacting with Aaron any longer. Letting out a deep sigh, she picked up the cases that she felt needed the most urgent attention of his team, and squared her shoulders as she sailed her way out of her office, sparing a shaky smile for Helen as she passed her desk. "I just have to keep my cool," she whispered as she made her way down the hall and then into the bullpen. Thankfully, it appeared that everyone was busy at their desks, which made her feel a little less conspicuous as she climbed up the stairs and made her way to Aaron's office.

His door was closed, but the light was on, so she took a deep breath as she raised her hand and knocked firmly, as she usually would. "Enter!"

She opened the door, taking care not to close it, since that would look inappropriate, and crossed over to her desk. "Since Ms. Jareau is still out sick, I took the liberty of looking through the oncoming cases and selecting three that I felt needed our attention the quickest. I put them in order from most pressing to least pressing of these three, and I know that you'll use your discretion to see where you team can be of the most help."

"You didn't need to do that, Erin. I would have been fine selecting the next case for us to assist with."

"Still, as your supervisor, I need to keep on top of what's going on with my team. How, how is Haley doing?" she ventured to ask, wanting to alleviate some of the rising guilt in her chest.

"She's doing well." A guilty look flashed across his face, and she wondered what that expression was about. "Look, you should know something. I, I couldn't keep what happened between us a secret from her any longer, but I also couldn't tell her face to face, so I wrote her a letter this morning, telling her everything."

Erin felt the blood drain from her face as his words seeped into her brain. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I told Haley that we slept together and that you're having my baby, too. She deserved to know. I don't like lying to people, Erin. Ever."

"I, I told you. This is Alan's baby. I'm just waiting until we're out of the first trimester to tell him, since my last pregnancy was so rocky." She knew that she was scrambling around for a way to calm her spirit as she thought about how she would react if she had received such a letter from her husband. She knew that she would be furious with Alan, and also with the woman he had slept with, and her head began to swim as she considered the implications.

Just as he was about to respond to her lie, they both heard a commotion out in the bullpen, and Erin's head turned quickly, too quickly, to look out the doorway, catching sight of a furious blonde woman storming over to the staircase, calling out Aaron's name. "I didn't plan on this."

"On what? Your wife being rightfully furious at us for breaking the vows of your marriage? Or her being furious that you think you got me pregnant? Which of those things did you not plan on?" she hissed out, feeling her stomach start to roil as hot saliva began to fill her mouth, indicating that she was close to throwing up.

"No, I didn't plan on her showing up here."

"I can see that that bitch is in your office, Aaron! Are you laughing about how you fucked over me and our unborn child? Or are you gloating to her about how you managed to get two women pregnant at the same time?"

Haley's voice cut through the air like nothing Erin had ever heard before in the bullpen, and she shuddered a little as she rose to her feet, looking about anxiously for a way to escape the rapidly devolving situation. "There's only one door, Erin."

Aaron's voice sounded so far away, even as she noticed that he had come up to her side, and she slowly turned her head back to the door as Haley appeared in it, looking like a wrathful angel. "Isn't this…precious," she said venomously, and Erin weaved a little on her feet as a growing blackness invaded her eyes. The last thing she knew was the feel of large, warm, hands reaching out to catch her as she fainted.


	10. Chapter 10

The first sound Erin heard next was the comforting clacking of fingers on a keyboard, and she wondered if she had fallen asleep in her office, and if Helen was there, using her computer as she watched over her. Blinking slowly, Erin turned her head and noticed that the sofa she was resting on was not her own, since this was soft upholstery, where hers was leather. Lifting her head, she carefully looked around the room to see where she was, and that was when she noticed the cozy lighting and realized that she was in Ms. Garcia's office.

Slowly, she sat up, catching hold of the knitted blanket that was covering her legs, bringing it up to her chest as she drew in a few deep breaths through her nose. "Ms. Garcia?" she said, hating the tremble in her voice. Erin watched the younger woman stiffen in her seat, though she failed to turn around or acknowledge that Erin had even said anything at all. "Ms. Garcia, how did I end up in here?"

"Hotch carried you in here after you fainted, before holing up with Haley in his office for a few hours."

"Hours?"

"Yes. David Rossi will be here shortly to take you home."

Erin shivered at the coldness in Ms. Garcia's voice, all the bubbly happiness seemingly gone from her as she addressed Erin, and she curled up into a tight ball in the corner of the sofa as she tried to keep from openly sobbing in front of the woman, knowing that it would do no good, that even though she wasn't trying to manipulate her, that was how it would come off. "I think that I'm going to head to my office, actually. I still have work to accomplish today."

This caused Ms. Garcia to spin around in her chair, fixing a harsh glare on her as Erin shrank back a little in surprise. "Hotch told me that you have to stay here. Helen has already brought by your purse and attaché case. Find something to occupy your time until this David Rossi gets here."

She didn't know why she allowed Ms. Garcia to speak to her like that, but she just couldn't find the will in her heart to correct her, believing that she deserved the derision in her voice. Letting out a deep sigh, she reached out for her purse and unzipped the main pocket to search for her phone. Alongside it, she found a folded sheet of paper, and pulled them both out, laying the phone in her lap as she opened the paper to see who had written her.

_I'm here for you now, more than ever, but Agent Hotchner has refused to let me sit with you until David gets here. I was the one who told Penelope to call him, since I thought that you wouldn't want to see your husband at the moment. I can just see someone in there gleefully telling him about your pregnancy and who the father of your baby is, and I wanted you to have no part of that. It was bad enough that Mrs. Hotchner decided to make it a tawdry public affair. And I know that as you're reading this, Penelope is probably there, so you can't call me to talk this out. But as soon as you're able, my ear is open to you, and I will be squashing as many rumors flying around that I can. You will have support here, Erin. I promise you that._

Scrawled at the bottom of the hastily written note was a phone number that she assumed was her assistant's personal line, and a tremulous smile curved across her face as she hastily entered the number into her contacts list. Looking at her call log, she saw that she had missed one from Alan, and she frowned a little as she scrolled through her voicemails, not finding a corresponding message from him there. "Did David say how long he'd be?"

"No, just that he had something to wrap up before he could come."

Again, her tone was frosty, and Erin stifled the sigh that rose to her lips as she nodded, knowing that Ms. Garcia couldn't see her, as her focus was on her screens. "I see."

"Did you really sleep with Hotch? Is that why you wanted to know about the failure rates on vasectomies? Your husband deserves to know the truth, at least."

"Mistakes were made between us," she whispered as the thin filament of her control snapped, and hot tears began to roll down her cheeks. It was Ms. Garcia who let out a loud sigh, as if she could hear those silent drops rolling down her cheeks, and she turned, pulling a handkerchief out of her sleeve and handing it to her. "Thank you."

She shrugged before turning back to the computers, and Erin pursed her lips together as she brought the delicate cloth to her face and dabbed at the tears before clutching her phone to her chest and curling up in the corner of the sofa once more, her free hand drawing the blanket up around her body as a heavy silence filled every atom of the room. It seemed like time was slowing to a crawl, and she found herself praying that he would show up soon and end this misery. A firm knock on the door caught both their attention, and she watched as Ms. Garcia rose to her feet and opened the door, revealing David.

He brushed past Ms. Garcia and went right to her side, sinking down onto the sofa and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her against his chest. "I'm here now, bella. Everything will be all right."

As she started to cry a little louder, burying her face in his chest to breathe in the familiar, comforting, scent of his cologne, she heard Ms. Garcia let out a rather loud hmph, and she stiffened a little as David's embrace tightened a little too much around her. "You can quit glaring at me like that, sir."

"You can stop judging Erin right this minute, miss. She didn't get pregnant on her own, you need two parts to make a new whole."

"David…"

"No, Erin. Adults make choices, sometimes they're not the best, and sometimes they lead to the best thing in our lives. Ms. Garcia needs to realise that no one is perfect, and despite the ridiculous display that took place in the bullpen earlier this morning, Aaron is not the victim in this situation. Neither is Haley. Would you like it if someone aired your dirty laundry to all of your colleagues?"

Erin glanced over at the woman, seeing her face drain of all color before two spots of red darkened her cheeks as she silently shook her head. "David, be kind. She's loyal to her team, as she should be. I, I just want to go home. Please." Her hand tightened in the fabric of his shirt as she drew in a deep breath and pulled away from him to look up into his eyes. "Please," she whispered, feeling her eyes flood with tears once more. His expression softened as he nodded, one of his hands coming up to stroke her hair lightly as she took a few shuddering breaths, still feeling decidedly off kilter with everything that was happening in her life in that moment.


	11. Chapter 11

"Is there a way to get out of here without Erin being seen?" David asked roughly as he helped Erin to her feet, grabbing her attaché case before she could take it. Letting out a little breath of frustration, Erin slipped her purse strap across her body, worrying her phone in her hands as she waited for the woman to answer.

"There's a door to the back hallway right over there," Ms. Garcia replied, still hardly any warmth in her voice. Erin tried not to be upset by it, but she had hoped that there would have been some chance at a good working relationship with her in the months ahead. That was clearly a pipe dream now, and she shuddered a little as she shrank into David's side, allowing him to rest his arm around her waist as he led her out of the office and into the little used back hallway.

"You shouldn't let her get to you, Erin. She's your subordinate, and should be treating you with at least a modicum of respect."

"I'm the one who made the mistake, David."

His arm tightened around her waist, almost pinching slightly, and she frowned as she pulled away from him a little to stare up into his face as they entered the stairwell. "It took two of you to tango, Erin. He needs to carry his own portion of the judgement and blame. Just because you happen to be carrying the outward manifestation of the mistake, doesn't mean that you should allow people like her to castigate you." Stopping her from starting down the stairs, David reached up and cupped her face with his hands, staring into her eyes. "I meant what I said when you first told me about the baby. I will stand by your side throughout this pregnancy, in whatever form you need from me."

"But you're Aaron's best friend."

"Yes, but you need me more than he does at the moment. He'll deal with it, I promise."

Erin nodded as she rubbed the soft fabric of the handkerchief that Penelope had given her between her fingers. "I don't know how to express my gratitude, thank you seems so small."

"I have a good feeling that I can read your heart, Erin. Despite the façade that you wear, your heart was always easy for me to read." She let out a little gasp before looking away from him and starting down the stairs.

"I, I can drive home. I don't want…"

"Your car will be driven home by Helen, and her partner will be picking her up after she drops it off. I already made arrangements. I just thought that it would be best if I got you out of here as quickly as possible." She nodded and took firm hold of his hand, needing to be anchored to something in that moment. "I don't want it to feel like I'm taking over, but I just feel like you shouldn't be driving at the moment."

Erin knew that he was probably correct, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. Once they reached the parking lot, he led her over to his Cadillac, and she curled up in the passenger seat, managing to fall asleep before he had even left the lot. Thirty minutes later, she was waking up to the feeling of David shaking her shoulder gently, and she sat up and stretched, blinking her eyes to clear away the vestiges of sleep. "You look perturbed."

"Alan is waiting for you on the front porch, and he does not look happy."

She frowned a little as she looked at the porch, seeing her husband seated on the swing, a pensive look on his face. Erin knew that nothing good was about to come out of this confrontation, and she was suddenly glad to have David by her side for this, since she thought she could count on him to help defuse things, should the situation get out of hand. After he had turned the car off, Erin climbed out of the car and went over to the porch swing, taking a seat next to her husband and reaching out for his hand, only for Alan to snatch it away as if she was trying to hurt him. "Alan?"

"You're pregnant."

The blood drained from her face as she nodded slowly. "I am, I was going to tell you soon, I just wanted to get out of the first trimester. You remember what Tabitha's pregnancy was like."

"I do, and I'm just sorry that I won't be able to help you when you struggle."

"I, I'm sorry?"

He drew in a deep breath as he reached out and touched her shoulder lightly. "I know that this is not my baby, Erin. If you had come to me after sleeping with another man, I would have understood. It was that night that you got drunk, wasn't it? And you spent the night in a hotel, with someone who wasn't me." She nodded, feeling her lower lip wobble. "I should be angry, I should hate you, but I know that we've been growing apart ever since Tabitha was born. You wanted a fourth child, so badly, but I didn't want to put you through that hell again."

"That wasn't why I slept with Aaron. Everything just spun out of control so quickly…"

"Because your inhibitions are lowered when you're drunk. And with the emotions that must have been coursing through you that night, it was a recipe for disaster. Why didn't you tell me? Why did it take Aaron's wife calling me on the phone and reading off the letter that he wrote to her to fill me in on your pregnancy?"

"I honestly didn't know how to tell you, Alan. I knew that you would be upset with me, and I wanted to have some time to figure out how I could possibly make things better. I guess, instead, I just made them worse. Where do we go from here?"

Alan reached out and patted her shoulder lightly. "I don't know where you're going to go from here, but I know that I cannot stay here any longer. We're both going to end up hurting each other far worse if I stay here. I won't ask you to leave this house, it's your home, and the children's home. But I also can't help but feel like this is a clear signal that things are irreparably broken between us."

"Alan?"

"I'm sorry, Erin. You'll have divorce papers to sign by the end of the week, and I won't press for custody so long as you allow me to see the children whenever I want. I'll continue paying my half of the mortgage. I just won't be living here any longer. I've already started packing a few of my things up, and have them in my car."

"It won't help if I tell you how sorry I am?"

He shook his head. "I know how sorry you are, dear. That's what probably makes this hurt all the worse." Alan reached up and caressed her cheek lightly. "I wish that things could have turned out differently between us, that our love had been enough to last."

Erin's heart cracked a little wider as she nodded, watching him get to his feet and amble off the porch before heading into the garage. As the door began to open, she allowed the noise it created to muffle the sounds of her cries as she watched her husband back out of the drive, taking half of her heart with him.


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as Alan was out of sight, David exited the car and made his way to her side, her bag and purse in his hands. Erin managed to give him a shaky smile before collapsing against his chest in a flood of tears as his arm closed around her shoulders, holding her close. "Haley got to him first. She read him the letter that Aaron wrote, and the worst thing?"

"What, bella?"

"He wasn't angry with me for not telling him. He was just disappointed with me. If I had just told him what happened the day after it occurred, my life wouldn't be over now. He, he's serving me with divorce papers. I mean, I deserve it, but it still hurts."

She listened to him hum lightly beneath his breath before he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "Oh, Erin."

"I know. Oh god, David, everything hurts. Even though I've been sleeping after I fainted, I think that I'm going to head upstairs to take a nap? Maybe that can start to heal this ache in my heart?"

He nodded before pressing a soft kiss to the crown of her head, causing her to smile a little before she pulled away from him and let out a deep breath. "I can start to make you something to eat while you sleep. You need to keep your strength up, if not for you, then for the baby."

"Thank you. And the kids will be home in a couple hours, so if you could distract them from the nonsense I've dragged them into, I would appreciate that as well." He nodded a little, and she gave him a fleeting smile before turning and digging her keys out of her purse and letting herself in. Already, the air felt different to her, though she knew that was just her mind giving her home the feelings of her heart. Closing her eyes, Erin stepped out of her shoes before heading up to her room, letting out a little cry to see that Alan's half of the closet was empty. She stumbled her way over to the bed and flung herself down onto her side of the bed, grabbing his pillow and holding it close to her chest so that she could breathe in his scent as she wept herself to sleep.

"…thought of that before you treated her the way you did. It was a dick move."

Erin frowned as she tried to piece together why David was in her bedroom as she blinked her eyes open to see him sitting with his back against the headboard, animatedly talking to someone on the phone. Listening intently, she could make out the now familiar sound of Ms. Garcia's voice on the other end of the line, and her frown deepened a little as she sat up and scooted back until she was also letting the headboard support her. "Why are you talking to her?"

"One second, Garcia." He pressed her cellphone against his chest as he looked at her. "Someone needed to tell her that she was out of line to be so cruel to you this morning."

"I deserved that, David. She has every right to be upset with me, even if you don't think it was right."

He sighed as he brought the phone back up to his ear, listening to something that Penelope was saying. "Of course, you may. Just, be kind. My god, it's not that hard to be kind."

David handed her phone to her, and she gave him a small smile before pressing it to her left ear as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Yes, Ms. Garcia?"

"You don't have to be a martyr in this situation, ma'am. It's kind of you to want to take on all of the anger and blame in what's happened, but as Rossi was explaining to me, you couldn't have gotten pregnant without another person present. Well, I mean, you can, but it would be creepy and weird if you stole Hotch's sperm and knocked yourself up with like, a turkey baster or something." Erin chuckled at that analogy, resting her free hand on her stomach as she waited for Ms. Garcia to finish her thought. "What I'm trying to say is that I should have thought about what you were going through before I judged you about what is happening. You have to be so heartbroken. How did your husband take the news when you told him?"

"I did not get the opportunity to do that, not before Mrs. Hotchner informed him of my indiscretion. It, it did not end well."

"Oh." Erin could practically hear the woman start to sniffle a little before she spoke once more. "I need to make this right, somehow. Can I bring you supper? And maybe we could talk a little more? It's one thing to joke or be casually cruel, but…I just have to start making this right."

"My children will be home shortly…"

"I can bring enough for everyone! That would be what, five people?"

"Six, actually, including yourself. But you don't have to…"

"Nonsense! I am going to fix this, maybe not right away, but this can at least be the first step towards repairing the trust that I broke today. Please?"

Somehow Erin knew that she wouldn't be able to tell the woman no in the long run, so she drew in a deep breath through her nose as she looked over at David. "That would be fine. Please arrive at my home around five, as we like to eat at six, so the children have time to complete their homework before having a little time to themselves."

"I can so do that! Just text me your address, and I will be there with bells on!"

"Of course, Ms. Garcia. We'll see you at five."

After ending the call, she quickly texted the younger woman her address before turning her face up to look at David, seeing the way that his jaw was clenched a little. "Erin…"

"I know, but she is a most persistent young woman. I couldn't tell her no, not when she wanted so desperately to try and make things right. I know that you wanted to make supper for us, but if this allows her to feel a little less guilty, so be it. I need to have a harmonious work environment for the next eight months. I very nearly miscarried Tabitha in the sixth month, and had to be out on medical leave for three weeks as a result. I'm eight years older now, and I know that makes things more dicey. Please, don't ask me to not play nice, David. I'm going to need your support, and any support I can get in the BAU. Everyone knows, and it will just…destroy me?"

He slightly moved away from her so that he could look into her face, a sad expression on his features. "I didn't know that about your last pregnancy. I'm sorry."

"You didn't know, David. You'd already retired by that point, and we didn't part on the best of terms. But you're here now, right?"

"For as long as you need me to be, bella."

She cocked her head to one side as her face crumpled a little. "Why are you being so kind to me? I don't…"

"Hush, do not finish that thought. You made a mistake, and yes, it is having disastrous consequences for you, but that does not make you unworthy of having your friends stand by your side and defend you. And I know, it's a bit soon to consider us friends, but that is how I am viewing you at the moment." Before she could say another word, he bent his head and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, causing her to sigh and wonder how he could possibly consider this friendly, even if it was most welcome in that moment.


	13. Chapter 13

Erin had barely had time to greet the children when she saw Penelope's car pull into the driveway, and her hand tightened around Tabitha's shoulder as she drew in a deep breath. "We have two visitors tonight, Mom?" her youngest asked, and she nodded in response. "Cool! But where's Dad?"

She felt the blood drain from her face as she looked up at David. "Your father was called away on a business trip, kiddo. How about you all join me in the living room and tell me funny stories about your mother while she helps her friend get the food ready for us?"

"Okay!" Tabitha took hold of his hand as they all trooped out of the kitchen and Erin took a few calming breaths as she went to the front door and opened it, leaning against the doorjamb to watch the woman climb out of her car before going to the passenger side and picking up a good number of bags before kicking the door closed and lifting her chin to smile at Erin, since she couldn't wave at her.

"Chief Strauss! I hope you don't mind if I commandeer your kitchen, but I thought, that since I'd have an hour, I could throw together a proper meal rather than bring takeout with me. And I thought that would give us the opportunity to talk, just the two of us. Unless Rossi is planning on hovering over you like a looming gargoyle."

She chuckled lightly as she shook his head. "David is just protective of me right now, even though I'm not entirely certain why." Erin welcomed the younger woman into the house, closing the door behind her before guiding Ms. Garcia into the kitchen. "What are you going to make?"

"A cheesy rice and chicken bake with broccoli and carrots. If you want to turn the oven on to 375 while I set out all the ingredients. I also brought enough to make a salad and garlic bread and a fruit trifle for dessert. I usually put Grand Marnier in the whipped cream, since I make it by hand, but will that affect the baby?"

"It probably shouldn't," she murmured as she did what Ms. Garcia requested before grabbing out a large enough pan for the rice, assuming that she would have to boil it before adding it to a casserole dish. After filling it with water, she set it on the rapid boil burner and then rummaged around in the cupboard to find her glass casserole dish, setting it on the counter before getting out her large salad bowl and a decorative bowl for the trifle. "What next?"

"If you want to wash the broccoli first, so I can chop it, then start on the other veggies, that would be a huge help."

Erin nodded and set to work on that, finding something soothing about the task as she tried to center her heart. Without looking up at the woman as she handed the broccoli over and then started to wash the lettuce, she opened her mouth and asked the question that was front and center in her mind. "Why this sudden change of heart, Ms. Garcia?"

"Please, call me Penelope, at least here. It feels weird to be so formal when I'm in your home."

"All right, and while we're in this place, you may call me Erin." Penelope gave her a tiny, pleased, smile before she turned back to the broccoli, starting to chop it into small pieces. "You must have been out of the room or asleep, when Rossi called me from your phone. Since I have you saved in my contact list, I was a bit frosty in the way I addressed him, thinking it was you, and he did not take it that well. You do have a good friend in him, ma'am, as he was very quick to defend you."

"He was always good at championing the underdog," she murmured as she moved on to rinsing off the cherry tomatoes. "I hope that he didn't get after you too much."

"Only as much as was warranted. He was right, I did jump to a hasty conclusion about what had happened. You must have been terrified when you realized you were pregnant. I wish that I had had better news for you when you asked about the failure rates on vasectomies."

"I wish so, too. Things would be much easier if this was Alan's baby. But there were cracks in our marriage before this, which just made it easier for him to make this final decision. It will just be difficult to adjust to being pregnant and raising four children on my own." Erin finished washing the vegetable before throwing together the salad and then starting to wash the berries. "That's why I'm glad that I'll have David as my friend. I don't think I could get through this without someone like him by my side."

Penelope nodded as she dumped the rice in the pan. "He does seem like a standup guy, the kind of guy a woman could easily fall in love with."

A quick, dreamy, smile spread across Erin's face as she nodded. "That he is," she whispered as she finished washing up the berries. "What next?"

"Next, you take a seat at the table, and we talk while I finish up. I can't have the expectant mom doing all the work."

"You're pregnant, Mom?"

Her head whipped around to see Karen standing in the doorway, a shocked expression on her face. Erin took a deep breath as she nodded, seeing the way Penelope's spine had stiffened at her lapse in judgment. "I am. I was going to wait until I was a little farther along to tell all of you, since there's always the danger of losing the pregnancy before I enter the second trimester. You were so young when I was pregnant with your sister, so you don't remember how difficult that pregnancy was on me. But it was very difficult, darling, so I wanted to keep this low profile for a few more weeks. Would you please not say anything to your siblings until I do?"

"Of course, Mom." Karen came over to her side and hugged her tightly before kissing her cheek. "Do you need any help in here? Bruce is telling Dave about that time we went to New York City, and he got lost in the Central Park Zoo."

Erin groaned a little as she shook her head. "Oh, that story. My worst failing as a parent, and now David will know all about it. If you want to help us, please set the dining room table for six. Use the green tablecloth, since it's spring. And don't forget the crystal candleholders."

"Yes, Mom. I'll go see if Tabby wants to help me, since it will go faster with two pairs of hands." Karen kissed her cheek once more before scurrying from the room.

"I so did not mean for her to overhear that, Erin. I am so sorry!"

"It was an accident, and they would have found out sooner rather than later, anyway. I'm already starting to show at seven weeks. Each pregnancy announces itself earlier and earlier."

"That's good to know, if I ever have kids." Penelope gave her a small smile. "And you're a really good mom. It's obvious that your kids love you."

"Up until I tell them about the divorce. Then I have the feeling that things might change. I'll take this lull for what it's worth, though, since I love them so." Penelope nodded as she gave her a fleeting smile, and Erin tried to smile in return, knowing that it was just a matter of time until she lost her children's hearts as a result of her mistake.


	14. Chapter 14

Erin had just sent the children to bed when she realized that now the real, heavy, discussions were going to begin. Penelope was giving her a knowing look, and Erin unconsciously scooted closer to David, knowing that he would offer her the warmth of his body as they discussed what was happening. "So, are you going to be in to work tomorrow?"

"Why wouldn't I be there? I still have a job to do, and cannot afford to miss any more time off, especially when it will be difficult enough to try and negotiate my maternity leave when that time comes." Penelope winced, and Erin narrowed her eyes as she fumbled for David's hand. "Why? Is there something that I should be wary of when I return?"

Penelope took a deep breath as she nodded. "Haley wasn't exactly quiet after you fainted. The entire bullpen is quite aware of the fact that you're pregnant and that Haley believes it to be Hotch's child. Though there are a few people who think that, since Rossi came to your rescue, that he's the father of your baby…"

Her voice trailed off, as if she didn't want to finish her thought, and Erin drew in a deep breath. "Some of them are calling me a slut, or worse, aren't they?"

Penelope's cheeks burned a bright red as she nodded. "Yeah."

Erin lifted her chin as she took a deep breath. "I am not going to let that bother me, since I know the truth of the matter." She blinked a few times before a yawn split her lips, and Penelope gave her an understanding look. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you had a rough day, and I certainly added to that. I'll just head out now. Thank you for letting me explain myself and start to make up for this."

She let out a small squeak of surprise when the young woman leaned over and pulled her into a tight, quick, hug before popping to her feet and scurrying out of the room. A few moments later, Erin heard the front door close and then she sank back against David and the sofa, needing the comfort that both could offer her. "You're going to be all right, Erin."

"Am I? I feel like I've lost all my hard earned respect in the space of a morning. I'm the office slut who will spread her legs for anyone in pants."

David wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his chest as he drew in a deep breath. "It will blow over in time."

"I can't believe that. It took so long for the blowback from the Amerithrax debacle to fade away, and I know that Jason still regards me harshly for my actions. Even Alex won't talk to me, despite my reaching out. That mistake cost me my best friend, and despite how kind Penelope was this evening, I don't think that I can allow my heart to easily trust her, because the last time I trusted someone, my heart was broken."

"I completely understand that, Erin."

"Do you? Do you really know what it's like to have your best friend, the person you told all your secrets to, look at you and call you a bitch? That she regrets ever meeting you? That it would be a cold day in hell before she ever gave you a second look? To know that you couldn't go to her son's funeral because the rift between you was too great, and so you hung back behind a tree at the graveside service in order to pay your respects, because you couldn't bear to not be there in some small capacity?"

"No, bella, I can't say that I do know that. But I understand how hard it is to trust someone after your heart has been broken. I learned that with Carolyn, and it devastates you."

She nodded as she looked up into his eyes, seeing nothing but concern in his gaze. "Why couldn't you have walked into the bar that night? Life would be so much easier if we had fallen into bed together, because at least you don't hate me like Aaron does."

David's soft expression turned into a smirk, and she rolled her eyes a little as she anticipated what he was going to say next. "Well, we could always make that somewhat of a reality. I am here, after all."

She tried to laugh at those words, but the only thing that came to her lips was a choked sob. Turning her face into his chest, Erin allowed him to rub her back as she tried to get control of her emotions, knowing that the hormones were likely to blame for her sudden shifts in emotion. "I wish I had slept with you that night. Then this baby would have a father who wants to be in their life. Not some dirty little secret that you have to keep from your wife."

"Well, I'm not married, so we wouldn't have to worry about that. I can say that your baby is mine, and besides Hotch and Penelope, no one would truly be the wiser."

"Helen knows, too."

"Your assistant? She's loyal to a fault, Erin. You chose well there. What do you say? Will you allow me to be the father of that baby?"

Erin pulled away from him to look into his eyes. She had been expecting to find some hint of teasing in his expression, but there was a genuine kindness on his features that spoke of how much he meant the words he had said. "At least this way, my baby would have a father who wants them. But this lie means that we would be bound together for the next eighteen years, and we haven't exactly seen eye to eye for much of our time together thus far."

"That's because you never admitted that I was always right," he teased before tweaking her nose lightly. "Though I could have taken you a little more seriously, and not allowed my friendships with Hotch and Gideon to affect how I viewed you. That was my fault, and I own it. So, will you hitch your future to mine?"

"Yes. God knows that I need some spot of peace in my life after all of this came to light. Aaron will probably hate you for this."

"Let him. He's screwed this up enough as it is."

She pressed her lips together as she nodded. "I, I think I need to go to bed again. Even though I slept half this day away already. Can you see yourself out?"

"After I get you safely to bed, I can." He got to his feet and held out his hand. Erin reached out and clasped it, allowing him to pull her to her feet and guide her back up to her bedroom. "All right, take a seat on the bed, and I'll get out a set of pyjamas for you."

"I don't think that I want you digging through my drawers, David. At least not yet."

"Oh, I'm certain that your drawers are just perfect," he teased, waggling his eyebrows at her. A true giggle escaped her lips as she sat on the mattress and drew her legs up to her chest. "And it's just pyjamas, it's not like I'll be raiding your panty drawer."

She let out a deep sigh, knowing that she couldn't argue with him, that he would just wear her down, much like Penelope was good at. And if he was really going to be a part of her life and help her with the baby, then she needed to learn how to trust him. "Fine, my keep my pyjamas in the top middle drawer of the dresser. And I'd prefer something soft, since my breasts are already starting to become more sensitive to sensation."

"I could help with that."

"David!"

"I'm just saying, sometimes a soft pair of hands keeping the fabric off your skin can help!"

"Please, don't make me regret this decision." He winked at her before nodding and going over to the dresser, opening the right drawer and pulling out a sleeveless cotton nightgown and brought it over to her side. "Thank you. Thank you for everything today." David nodded and sank down next to her once more which allowed her to rest her head on his chest. "I could really get used to this."

"So could I, bella. I can stay the night if you want."

The earlier smarm was gone, replaced with a gentle concern, and she shook her head, knowing that she wasn't ready to make things quite that real between them just yet. "Not tonight, but soon. Probably when I tell the kids about the baby and the divorce. I'll need your support the most then." He nodded before pressing a tender kiss to the crown of her head and then getting up and heading to the door, giving her one last, sweet, look before he left.


	15. Chapter 15

Erin hadn't slept well, and she chalked it up to how much she had napped, and she found herself irritable as she got the children ready to head to school before going to work herself. She arrived earlier than she normally did, which suited her just fine, as she didn't want to deal with anyone, or hear any of the gossip certain to be swirling the air. What did surprise her was the fact that Helen was already behind her desk, working on something. "Oh, you're here early, ma'am."

"Yes, well, I felt it better to get here before the others. Somehow, I don't think I'll like what's being said about me today. If you could be so kind as to hold all my calls, and head out for lunch for me today, so that I can spend as much time in my office as possible?"

Helen frowned at her as she nodded. "May I be honest with you? On a personal level?"

"Of course."

"I don't like you trying to make yourself smaller because people are judgmental assholes. I'm sorry for the crude language, but it's true."

Erin smiled to hear how Helen defended her, and she shrugged a little. "It's one day, and I need it to regroup. I was just so exhausted yesterday that I slept for a good eighteen hours. It's Friday, which means I'll now have the weekend to tell my children about the pregnancy and the divorce. And the fact that David Rossi has stepped up to be the de facto father of this child."

"I'm sorry?" Helen asked as she got to her feet and followed Erin into her office, taking her coat and hanging it on the coatrack. "When did you decide to divorce Alan?"

"He decided that he wanted to get a divorce after Haley read him the letter that Aaron wrote her. Alan also said that if I had just come to him, told him that I slept with Aaron when it happened, that things probably would have turned out differently. I don't think that would be true, since there were cracks in our marriage, but it still hurt a little to hear him say." She turned on her computer and looked up at Helen. "Things will get better with time, I have to believe that. Otherwise my heart will never heal."

"And we wouldn't want that, bella."

Looking around Helen, she saw David standing in the doorway of her office, giving her a rakish smile. "What are you doing here?" she asked as she beckoned him over to their sides. "Aren't you supposed to be working on a new manuscript?"

He chuckled as he shook his head and then handed over an elegant bouquet of flowers. "My publisher would love it if I was working on a new book, but I don't think I have one in me right now. Especially since all my attention and energy will be focused on you and the bambino for some time to come."

Helen let out a soft sigh as she grinned at them. "That is so romantic," she murmured before turning on her heel and scurrying out of the office, humming a happy song as she closed the door.

"Well, it looks like I have Helen's seal of approval," he said before leaning down and kissing her cheek gently.

"She's just happy that I'm happy. But why are you here? Asserting your dominance?"

David winked at her as he went around to the front of her desk and took a seat in a chair, crossing his hands on his stomach as he shrugged. "I thought that the sooner I made it appear that we are a couple, the sooner it will sink in that we are together. Appearances matter, after all, and since we have to do damage control, I thought what better way than to show up with flowers. I can always bring a teddy bear and chocolates next. Along with jewelry. And if you're really good, there's always lingerie."

Erin chuckled as she shook her head. "You are going to be the death of me, David."

"But in the best way?" She nodded. "That's what I like to hear."

It looked like he wanted to say more when Helen opened the door and peeked her head inside. "I'm sorry to interrupt you two, but Director Shepperd is here to talk with you, ma'am, and he would prefer not to be kept waiting."

"You can send him right in, Helen. There's nothing that he wants to talk about with Erin that can't be said in front of me," David answered before Erin could, and Helen dipped her chin a little as she stepped away from the door and gestured for the director to head inside, closing the door once he was inside. Erin drew in a deep breath as the man crossed over to her desk and took a seat in the free chair, giving David a convivial smile before he turned his focus onto Erin, and she swallowed thickly as the cool smile on her lips trembled a little.

"Erin, I completely understand why you took most of yesterday off, after the little display that happened in the bullpen, but that is exactly why I came here to talk with you. Obviously, there are some things that we need to discuss, and I have to ask if you're certain that you want Dave to listen in on this conversation."

"Yes, Sir. He's right, he is as much a part of what happened yesterday as I am, and I feel completely comfortable with him being here. And I know, what happened yesterday was an extreme breach of etiquette, and I apolgise for what happened. I had no idea that Mrs. Hotchner would show up like that, or that she would think it wise to put on such a display."

"Well, when she believes that her husband slept with his boss, I can understand the ire that she displayed. And thinking of that, I now need to ask some delicate questions, and depending on their answers, there might be some harsh consequences. Are you pregnant?"

"I am," she replied steadily, looking at David, seeing that his tender smile never faltered. "It was completely unexpected, but a joy nonetheless to discover that I was expecting a fourth child. I'm hoping that this pregnancy is a little smoother than my last, but I am anticipating it to be rough, especially since I am that much older this time around."

The Director nodded before drawing in a deep breath. "The next question is a little more sensitive than the first. Who is the father of your baby? If Mrs. Hotchner is to be believed, her husband, your subordinate, is the one who holds that honor."

Erin started to draw in a breath, preparing to answer his question when David smoothly inserted himself back into the conversation. "I don't quite know how Haley got it so twisted, but Erin and I wanted to keep things quiet until her divorce is finalized. We've been a couple for the last few months, and while it wasn't the best situation that we found ourselves in, I wouldn't give up this time with her for anything in the world. After the Adrian Bale case, I know that Erin did get drunk with Aaron at the same bar, and that he escorted her to a hotel later that night because he didn't want her to head home in her condition, not knowing that we were a couple and that he could have brought her to my house. Naturally, his drunken state may have led him to believe that he slept with Erin, and thus caused her pregnancy, however, this is not true, and we are very happy with the fact that we're going to welcome a baby sometime in early December."

The lie sounded so believable to her ears, and Erin could tell that the Director also thought it true by the way he visibly relaxed as David's little speech came to an end. "That's all I needed to hear, then. Thank you for not being offended at the questions that I asked, as they truly were a necessity."

"I understand, sir. And if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me. I want Erin to be under as little stress as possible, and we both know how much comes with her job already."

Director Shepperd nodded as he rose to his feet. "I will try to remember that, Dave. Have a good day, you two, and don't hesitate to come to me with any issues that might arise in conjunction with your pregnancy. I'm certain that we can work out your maternity leave whenever you need to take it."

"Thank you, Sir," she replied before watching him leave her office. As soon as the door was closed, she slumped into her chair and buried her face in her hands, welcoming David's arms around her moments later as he pulled her close to his chest. "I really don't know if that was wise, but I feel a little more secure now, even if our relationship, such as it is, is predicated on a lie. At least I know that you will be there for us."

"For as long as you need me, Erin," he murmured before caressing her hair lightly. She sighed as she relaxed into him, knowing that this was far from over between Aaron and her.


	16. Chapter 16

"Thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice, Doctor Brunner. I know that I have a crazy schedule to try and accommodate."

"It's fine, Erin. I am a little concerned about your blood pressure, so I'll want you to monitor that each day, keeping a log of it morning and night. You can purchase a good blood pressure monitor at your pharmacy, just have one of the pharmacists show you how to use it correctly before you take it home. Also, I'd like to see that you take daily walks of twenty minutes or so. I know that you have a desk job, but during your lunch hour, or after you get home, just try to get some extra movement in. And for goodness sakes, please try to avoid as much stress as possible. I'd like to make certain that this baby stays in for as long as possible. Tabitha's pregnancy was really rocky, and the more steps we can take to make sure that does not repeat with this pregnancy, the better."

"I'm trying. But I know that the divorce is not helping things, either. At least I have David to help support me as I go through this. And I've started the prenatal vitamins that you called in on Friday, so that's good, yes?" Her doctor nodded. "All right. I need to get back to work before all hell breaks loose once more. Any other things I should keep in mind before our next appointment?"

"I'd like you to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. If all else fails, make them into a smoothie, as those can be easier on your stomach. I vaguely remember from last time that certain foods reacted poorly with you."

"That is good to know, thank you." Erin smoothed her shirt down over the small rise of her stomach and gave the doctor a small smile. "So, will I see you again in a month?"

"Two weeks. This is a high-risk pregnancy, Erin, and I want to keep a close eye on the baby's development. I know, it's not convenient for you, but if you want the best chance at a healthy baby, that's what needs to happen."

She nodded, knowing that she would have to discuss that with Director Shepperd. As soon as Doctor Brunner left, Erin let out a long breath before texting David to let him know that the exam went well. After that, she checked out with the receptionist and booked her next appointment before heading back to the office, knowing that she would have to pick up the blood pressure monitor on her way home that evening, since she was already running late to get back, and still needed to get lunch.

As Erin drove back to the FBI building, she called Helen. "Yes, Erin?"

"Would you please order lunch for me? I'm running late, since Doctor Brunner was late to my appointment, and I just don't have time to pick anything up."

"Of course, I'll get you something from your favorite deli, and hopefully it will get here around the same time that you get back."

"Thank you," she replied before ending the call and heading towards work as quickly and safely as she could. Turning the radio up, she began to sing along to the current song, finding that it soothed her a little. Touching her stomach, Erin thought about what was going to come in the next few weeks, since she hadn't anticipated spending so much time seeing the obstetrician. Still, she knew that David would agree that she needed to take every precaution that she could with the pregnancy.

Finally, she arrived back at work, and as she rode up on the elevator, she allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts as she caressed her stomach. "Baby, even though you're entering the world in a less than ideal way, I am so glad that you're going to be here."

Stepping off the elevator, Erin kept her chin held high as she made her way to her office, ignoring the whispers that happened as soon as she passed by certain people, since they didn't really matter, or so she kept telling herself. Helen was just coming out of her office when Erin walked in, and she gave her assistant a small, worn, smile as she paused next to her side. "Please tell me that you just dropped off lunch."

"Yes, Erin. How did things go?"

"For the most part good. I need to purchase a blood pressure monitor on the way home tonight, but other than that, everything looks on track. And before you ask, I need to get it myself, since Doctor Brunner would like the pharmacist to show me how to use it, so I can keep an accurate record for her." Helen nodded and reached out to pat her arm as they changed spots, and Erin took a seat at her table, pulling one of the files that Helen had placed next to her lunch close to her side so that she could read and eat.

A sudden commotion caught her attention, and she frowned as she pulled off her reading glasses to see what was going on. Before Helen could prepare her, Aaron was storming into her sanctuary, and she shrank away from him as he closed the door firmly and then stalked over to her side. "Just what the hell do you think you're playing at, Erin? Why would you tell such a huge lie to the Director?"

She took a deep breath as her stomach started to roil at the sight of his angry visage, looming over her. Erin knew that she couldn't show him any weakness, that he would use that against her, and she tightened her jaw as she lifted her chin in defiance. "Why would you think that I'm lying, Aaron?" she said as calmly as she could, feeling her stomach roil as she stared at him.

"You aren't someone to carry on an affair, you love your husband too much to do something like that. Just like I love Haley too much to have an affair. What we did once –"

"Twice. Remember when you pushed your way into my home?" she bit out, shrinking away from him as he came into her space even more, sitting next to her on the sofa as he glared at her. "Well, Aaron? Do you not remember how we fucked in my living room?"

"I was doing my best to forget that, actually. And it looks like you're attempting to rewrite history by claiming some ridiculous relationship with my best friend! He would have told me about you, if you were truly sleeping together."

"I swore him to secrecy, Aaron. It's no secret that we parted on bad terms when he retired, and since I was still with Alan, the need for secrecy was paramount." Drawing in a deep breath, Erin tried to keep her thoughts and emotions in check, knowing that the stress of this current situation was not good for the baby. "Now, if you would please leave, I have to eat while finishing up these reports before heading into a budget meeting."

Erin turned her body so that she was faced front and reached out for her sandwich, only to have Aaron take hold of her wrist and still her movements. Erin refused to look in his direction, not until he tightened his hold on her wrist, and then she whipped her head around to glare up at him. "We're not done here, Erin, and you will not dismiss me like this. You may have fooled the Director, but you won't fool me. No, you as much as admitted that this was my baby when I came to see you at your home after your little discussion with Ms. Garcia. And since this is my child, I think that I deserve to know what you plan on doing!"

His voice rose in pitch and volume with each word that came out of his mouth, and for the first time in her working with him, Erin felt genuinely afraid of what Aaron might do. To her immense relief, Helen came bursting into the office moments later, a cool look on her face. "Ma'am, Director Shepperd is on the phone for you. I tried to explain that you were in a meeting with Agent Hotchner at the moment, but he insisted that it was urgent, and that you needed complete privacy to speak with him."

Aaron narrowed his eyes as he looked between the two of them, and Erin once more tipped her chin up as she coolly regarded him. "This conversation is far from over, I'll have you know."

"You have your answer, Aaron. This is David's baby, and no matter how much you might rail against the notion that I could sleep with three men in the same span of time, it will still be true at the end of the day." Roughly, she pulled her wrist free from his hand and stalked over to her desk, picking up the receiver of her phone and giving Aaron a pointed look. "Leave, now."

He gave her a dark look as he stormed out of the office, and Erin collapsed in on herself as she finally allowed herself to cry, replacing the receiver as Helen closed her office door. "Do you need me to call David?"

She shook her head. "I'll be fine in a few moments. Though I seem to have lost my appetite. Please put my sandwich in the refrigerator, and I'll try to eat it later." Helen nodded as they both drifted over to her sofa, and Erin took a seat before letting her head come to rest in the corner of it. "And if I'm asleep when you come to remind me about the meeting at three, gently wake me?"

"Yes, Erin," Helen replied as she gave her a small smile, and she nodded, curling her legs beneath her as she absently rubbed her stomach, trying not to think about the days ahead of her.


	17. Chapter 17

The rest of the day had gone by so slowly, and even though Erin had spent as much of it as she could holed up in her office, she had still heard whispers being bandied about behind her back whenever she had had to use the bathroom. Helen had told her not to let the gossip mongers get to her, but it was difficult when she was already feeling discombobulated from her argument with Aaron. Finally, though, she made her way home, letting Helen know that she would most likely be early for the rest of the week. Her assistant had given her a small nod before shooing her on home, and Erin wondered just when she had given Helen so much leeway to take care of her. Not that she was complaining, since it was clear that the younger woman didn't mind watching out for her.

Erin found her mind preoccupied with thoughts of Aaron, Helen, and the baby for the entire drive home, and she somehow managed to pull into her spot in the garage without quite registering the fact that David's car was parked in the drive until she had exited the car and went to lower the garage door. Letting out a heartfelt sigh, she smiled as she made her way into the kitchen and breathed in the delicious scent of supper. "Mom! You're finally home!"

Her children stopped what they were doing and came over to her side, hugging her tightly. Erin felt a wave of happiness sweep over her heart as she cuddled her darlings close to her chest. They were still trying to come to terms with the idea of the divorce and her pregnancy, but they hadn't rejected her as she thought they might. "Yes, I had a meeting run late, and I forgot to call and let you know about the change in schedule. I think that Helen must have called David to let him know, since it seems that supper is almost ready."

"He was here when we got off the bus," Tabitha replied, keeping her arms around Erin's waist as Karen and Bruce went back to helping David. He gave her a small wink before patiently explaining to Bruce how to fix the rest of the dish that was going to be the main part of their meal. Karen was working on making a salad, and Erin smiled as she rocked Tabitha back and forth a little. "When will we feel the baby move?"

"Well, I'm about eight weeks along, and I won't feel them move for another twelve weeks or so. Once I'm really showing, then you'll be able to feel them kick out against your hand." Erin took a seat at the table as she watched the others work. Tabitha pulled her chair close to Erin's side and rested her head on her chest. "How was school?"

"Boring. We're learning math that I already know how to do, thanks to Bruce, so I haven't been paying the closest attention, and Mrs. Myers called me out on it. When I proved that I could breeze through what she was trying to teach us, she made me help all the slower kids. I'm not getting paid to do her job, Mama."

Erin giggled as she nodded. "Just do your best, Tabby, and if she continues to ask you to help, I'll call the principal and we'll work things out. I promise."

"Thank you!" Tabitha kissed her cheek before letting her head thump back down on her chest as they waited for the food to be finished. The meal went by quickly, and Erin found her heart so full with the talk that was going on between David and her children, glad to find them bonding.

"All right, kiddos, I know that it's still early, but your mom and I really need to talk about some things, so would you please clean up in here and then head up to bed? I'm certain that she'll come look in on you before she heads to bed."

She was surprised when they all nodded, having expected some pushback from them, and she let out a long breath as she pushed away from the table and followed David into her living room, curling up next to him on the sofa. He closed his arm around her shoulders, pulling her tightly to his chest as they sat there quietly for a few moments. "Let me guess, Aaron talked to you today, too?"

"That he did. And he does not believe that I am the father of your baby. He was…"

"Strident? Furious? Full of rage?"

David nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Yes, all of that. He told me that he had gone to your office to try and get the truth out of you, and that you refused to tell him the truth, even after he said that we were best friends."

"I thought that Helen was going to physically push him out of my office at one point, because she was not pleased with him yelling at me. I know that she's my assistant, but it's rather sweet that she is so protective of me and the baby."

"She seems like a good egg, so I'm glad that you have her, Erin. I just hope that Aaron can learn to accept that we're presenting a united front in this matter."

She shrugged before adjusting how she was sitting, making herself more comfortable on his chest as she thought about what to say next. "He'll have to come around. Because as far as I'm concerned, this is your baby." David kissed the crown of her head once more before they fell into a conversation about how her appointment had gone, talking for a good three hours until she was yawning too much to be ignored.

"Here, let's get you up to bed." She nodded as she let him help her to her feet, holding her hand as they went upstairs, though he held back when she peeped in to tell her children good night, which made her heart feel all the more tender towards him. "All right, I think that this is where I leave you for tonight," David said as he hung back on the doorway of her bedroom.

Erin shook her head a little as she moved over to her dresser and pulled out a nightgown to wear. "Stay? Please?"

"I don't think that Alan would be happy to have another man under the same roof as his children, Erin."

"We're a couple, David, or at least that's what we're trying to pretend we are for Aaron. And I need to grow more accustomed to being intimate with you, to make things more believable to Aaron and the others. I'm not asking you to make love to me, David. It's just that, after the day I had, I would really love to have someone hold me in their arms as I fall asleep. Please?"

He cocked his head to one side as he regarded her. "And if the children ask why I'm still here, making us all breakfast?"

"I'll tell them that it got too late, and I didn't want you driving home when you were so tired. I know, you'll have to sleep in your undershirt and boxers, but please? Humor me?"

Finally, he nodded and stepped into her bedroom, closing the door behind him as he started to loosen his tie. Erin flushed a little as she opened the closet door and hurriedly stripped down to her panties before tugging the nightgown over her head and letting it fall down around her shins before crouching down and picking up the clothes and taking care of them. By the time she was heading towards the bed, he was already there, she smiled softly as she slipped beneath the covers and pulled them up around her shoulders. "Oh, the lights. Get comfortable, and I'll turn them off." She nodded and felt him pop out of bed. Within moments, the bedroom was plunged into darkness, and she allowed herself to relax as she listened to his feet pad against the carpet as he made his way back to her.

"David?"

"What, Erin?"

"You call everyone bella. I want my own pet name, in time. Something that's just between us."

He shifted his position on the bed, scooting closer to her as he slung his arm around her waist and pulling her close to his chest. "I will strive to think of something that will be just ours, Erin, yes."

"Good," she murmured through a yawn, rubbing her cheek against his chest. "I don't know how I'll ever begin to thank you." Erin barely managed to get those words out as she gave in to sleep, but she still managed a little smile when she felt him kiss her forehead tenderly, a part of her wishing that this was a true relationship, not just something of convenience in order to keep her baby safe from the hurt that Haley had tried to inflict on them.


	18. Chapter 18

After their first night together, Erin had found herself being wooed by David, being brought effusive bouquets and boxes of chocolates, and other things to tempt her and make it more overt that they were a couple. Aaron had seen her receive a few of those gifts over the last two weeks, and every time their eyes met, he would give her a cold look, as if he couldn't believe that they were really a couple, despite all the outward appearances.

Still, Helen had been quietly encouraging her, asking about how her pregnancy was doing, and if she was settling into a good rhythm with David, now that they could be more open about their relationship. It was good to have her presence, and Erin made note to see about arranging her a larger than normal pay raise when her yearly evaluation was completed. "Oh, good, you're here, Erin."

She cocked her head to one side as she looked at her assistant. There was an excited gleam in her eyes, and that told Erin there was something more at play then just a normal gift from David, though his gifts had been anything but normal at this point. "What has he given me this time?" she asked as she beckoned for Helen to follow her into her inner office. Erin's eyes widened to see the latest bouquet on her desk, as it was an effusive mix of brightly colored lilies and baby's breath. "This is gorgeous."

"And that's not all. I had to sign for this, and I'd like it to get to you before I misplace it somehow."

That was the moment Erin noticed her assistant was holding a thick box out towards her, and she picked it up before giving her a questioning look. "What's this?"

"I'm assuming it's jewelry of some sort, maybe a bracelet? It's much too large to be a ring."

She nodded a little as she pried the lid off the box, a tiny gasp escaping her lips when she saw the bracelet that was resting on a bed of crushed purple velvet. "This is so gorgeous," she murmured. "But there's no way that I can wear this at work. It's so large."

"And it looks handmade, too. Oh, put it on, Erin, and let's see how it looks on your wrist!"

Erin chuckled as she picked up the wide bracelet. "I don't think that I can close the clasp. Would you do the honors?" She held the bracelet out with her left hand, and Helen nodded as she hurriedly closed it around her wrist. "David certainly has excellent taste. I'm going to have to build an outfit around this, in order to show it off," she said as she ran her thumb over the body of the unicorn, a small smile spreading across her lips at the cool feel of the silver.

"I see he's buying you more unnecessary gifts."

Any pleasure Erin had felt at receiving the bracelet melted away at the sound of derision in Aaron's voice, and she looked up at him as he entered her office, a glower on his face. Helen took a step closer to her desk, and Erin was grateful for the protective move, even if she didn't think it necessarily warranted. "Did you need something, Aaron?" she asked, keeping her voice smooth and controlled.

"I wanted to turn the latest report in with Helen, but she wasn't at her desk. Instead, she's in here, fawning over some ridiculous, over the top, gift that you've managed to sucker out of my best friend. I would not have taken you for a gold digger, Erin, but if the bracelet fits."

His own voice was just as measured as hers, which was somehow worse, and she felt her stomach begin to roil in her effort to control her emotions. "David has been generous to me, yes, but there is no need to be vulgar about things. Yes, he has more money than I do, but I also have three children that I have to look after, and soon will have a fourth."

"That's my baby…"

"No, it is not!" she spat out, her voice louder than she would have liked as she shot to her feet and slammed her hands down on her desktop, glaring at him, even as the edge of the bracelet dug into her skin. Wincing a little, she flared her nostrils to get a few deeper breaths into her lungs, feeling like she was rapidly spinning out of control. The metallic taste of bile began to fill her mouth as their contest of wills dragged on, neither one budging out of their glares, even as Helen reached out to touch her free hand lightly. "I have told you, and I have told the Director, this is David's baby. His name is going to be on the birth certificate. Quit trying to judge me for sleeping with three men in the same small span of time."

Erin tried to draw in a deep breath, only to have it stop far short of a full breath. The blood drained from her face as she weaved on her feet a little, her hands automatically going to cradle her stomach as she fumbled backwards into her chair, very nearly slipping out of it and onto the floor. "Erin? Erin! What's wrong?"

She could vaguely hear Helen's voice, but it sounded like she was a thousand miles away. Turning her head, she looked up into the younger woman's face and shrugged. "I don't know, but there's something wrong with everything. My heart is racing so fast."

Helen took hold of her hand, holding on firmly as she spoke once more. "Why are you just standing there, you imbecile! Call 911! She could be losing the baby!"

Erin knew that she shouldn't be speaking to Aaron in that tone of voice, but couldn't find the energy to reprimand her as she focused on trying to take calming breaths, her free hand absently stroking her stomach. "Helen, someone has to call David. I, I need him here."

"You're going to hospital, and that's that, Erin. He can meet you there as soon as we know which one you're headed to, all right?"

She tried to nod, feeling like her head was much heavier than it should be. In the background, she could hear Aaron talking to someone, and from the bits and pieces of conversation that she could parse, she figured out that he was talking with emergency services, and a little flush of relief spread through her system. "You also need to call Alan. I have the children, and they shouldn't come home from school to a dark house. Who knows how long I'll be kept for observation." There was a weird, thready, tone to her voice, and she knew that that was not a good sign. Gripping Helen's hand a little tighter, she tugged her down closer to her. "Please, Helen. Take care of my children."

"Of course, ma'am," she replied, her face pale from fright and shock. She had never seen her assistant that pale, and her lower lip began to tremble as she came perilously close to crying. "Oh, don't cry, Erin, please. Everything is going to be all right. You just need to focus on your breathing in order to try and lower your blood pressure until the paramedics arrive. Okay? We'll do it together. Just focus on me and how I'm breathing." She tried to nod, watching as dark spots clouded her vision before she completely passed out, slumping back in her chair as she lost all awareness of her surroundings


	19. Chapter 19

The next thing that Erin was aware of was the sound of monitors beeping and making the most irritating, repetitive, sounds, and she frowned deeply as she tried to sit up, only to have a strong, large, hand press her back down onto a too thin mattress that was not her own. Opening her eyes, she found David looking down at her, his eyes red rimmed from tears, and she felt her heart lurch as she reached down to feel for her bump. Erin sagged down in relief to find it still there, and she burst into tears as David enclosed her in his arms. "Shh, Erin, you're going to be all right, and the baby is all right. Your blood pressure spiked, which is why you passed out in your office. Doctor Brunner has already been in to check on you, and I've had Helen fill the prescription that you'll need to take once you're home."

"I thought I was going to lose her, David."

"I can only imagine how terrifying that feeling was."

She nodded against his chest, listening to the steady thumping of his heart in his chest as he held her close. This was suddenly all too real, and her heart lurched again to consider the fact that she didn't want to leave the protection of his arms, that this had suddenly gone from a relationship of convenience to one that she desperately needed. "David?"

He pulled away to look into her eyes, and Erin gave him a small smile before gesturing for him to take a seat next to her on the bed. "What is it, _stellina_?"

She opened her mouth to tell him about the feelings for him changing but found them stick. Swallowing thickly, she took hold of his hand and threaded their fingers together. "Who's watching the children?"

"Helen left work early to make certain that they weren't alone when they got home from school, and then Alan said that he would spend the night and make certain they got to school tomorrow. You have the rest of the week off from work, to recover, and Director Shepperd would like to know if you want Hotch to face any repercussions. Helen was very fierce in her defense of you, and made it clear that my best friend got in your face and upset you to the point where you collapsed."

"No, he's under so much stress with Haley's pregnancy, and having Jason out on leave, and the grief everyone feels over losing a team member. It's a given that he would lash out, and since I'm the one who is easy to take that miasma of feelings out on, well, it was inevitable that he would eventually react poorly. I can play nice, as long as he can do so as well."

David narrowed his eyes a little, as if he didn't believe how diplomatic she was being, and she forced herself to smile. "I suppose that we will leave it there for the moment, then."

"Yes. Will, will you spend the night here with me?"

Erin hated how weak her voice sounded, but relaxed when David nodded. "There is no way that I would leave your side right now, Erin. You need someone here to watch over you."

"I knew there was a reason that I reached out to you when I first found out about my pregnancy." He gave her a small wink as he stretched out a little more on the bed, allowing her to scoot close to his side and rest more of her body on his. There was something so comfortable about this position, and they both let out a small sigh as she spread her hand out on his torso. "David?"

"Yes, _stellina_?"

She liked that nickname, even though she had no idea what it meant. Somehow, she knew that this was his way of honoring her request for her own pet name, and she teared up a little at its usage. "I don't want this to be a fake relationship. You showed up when I needed you and stayed when you didn't have to. My heart is quickly becoming too tender towards you, and I cannot afford to play pretend, not if the rest of my pregnancy is going to be like this. If, if you can't handle that, please let me know now, so that it doesn't hurt so much to lose the hope of this. Not like it would hurt after she was born."

There was a shimmering silence that sprung up between them as she waited for David to respond, each moment that he didn't say anything seeming longer and longer as she anticipated him rejecting her, of him getting off the bed and leaving her to pick up the pieces of her life that she had destroyed. But then, his arm tightening around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him before he dropped another soft, sweet, kiss to the crown of her head. "When I said that I wouldn't leave you tonight, I suppose that I should have been clearer. I have no intention of leaving your side unless you ask me to, at this point. I find myself thinking about a life that we could have together, with your children and the bambina and a few pets."

"That future sounds so beautiful, David," she said, choking a little on his name.

"And it's a future that we get to explore together."

"Yes." She lifted her face to look at him, and a little sigh slipped from her lips as he looked down. "Kiss me?"

"Are you certain, _stellina_?"

"Yes." His smile softened into something sweet, and that made Erin sigh with pleasure. "All right." David lowered his face to hers until their lips were pressing together in one of the most tender kisses she had ever experienced. A part of her wanted to deepen the kiss, to show a little more passion, but found that as it lingered on, there was something just so perfect about that moment that she couldn't do anything to change that moment in time. "This isn't what I was expecting."

"No, I wasn't expecting this, either. I had thought that I could lie to Alan, convince him that this was his baby, and that life would be okay." She took a deep breath as she blinked back tears. "I was going to so easily fuck him over the same way that I fucked Alex over, and that would have been so wrong. And maybe it is wrong to tell Aaron that this baby is yours, but I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he would try to sue for custody and I would never see her again if he was successful. I didn't mean to get pregnant, I don't want to terminate the pregnancy, I just…"

He bundled her closer to his chest, allowing her to cry it out on him as he rubbed her back gently. "You just want to raise this little one in peace. And there might come a time in the future where Aaron can be a part of her life, without all this anger that's in him."

"He's angry because of everything that's happened to him in the last few months, and I don't blame him. I just, I don't know. I hate lying."

"You remember my first wife, yes?" She nodded. "Carolyn loved poetry, especially lesser known poems. And she told me this couplet when I was telling her the same thing. 'A truth that's told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent' was her response, though I can't remember which poet she was quoting. In this case, I think that's what you have to keep in mind. This would be a truth told with bad intent, and so we'll hold it close to our hearts until the time is right to tell him. All right?"

"All right." She yawned deeply, rubbing her cheek against his chest. "Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yeah, Erin, you need to get some rest so that you can leave in the morning, and I can take care of you all day." She chuckled a little before yawning once more and curling up close to her partner, knowing that he would be there to protect her from whatever came next.


	20. Chapter 20

Erin smiled at the gift Helen had brought her a few moments ago. "He is determined to shower me in presents, I swear."

"I think it's sort of sweet, honestly. Though I notice that he's changed from over the top ostentation in presentation to something more muted." Helen smiled as she took a seat across from her desk and waited for her to open the box in front of her. "How are you truly feeling? I know that you've been out of the hospital for four days, but you're still acting a little rundown."

"Did David put you up to asking that?" she replied a little archly as she pulled the lid off the box, smiling to see that he had given her a new rain jacket, one that would accommodate her growing baby bump.

"No, I truly want to know. You're my responsibility, after all." Helen gave her a small, quick, wink that caused her to giggle even as she shook her head. "Listen, I come by my mother hen capabilities honestly. My own mother always was looking out for me, and since I was an only child, I sort of slipped into the mom role with my friends. And it's stuck to this day."

Erin nodded as she pulled the jacket out of the box, and taking a good look at it. The light pink would complement her skin tone, and she sighed with pleasure to feel the softness of the fabric. "I will try to keep that in mind. Did, did Aaron give you any grief about the way you spoke to him last week?"

Helen's smile grew a little tight as she shook her head. "We've come to an understanding. He stays in the bullpen, I don't get in his face. So far, it's been working, and Ms. Garcia has been dropping off the completed reports to me. I'm assuming that will continue now that you're back in the office. I must say, she's nice, but a little over the top. Why do you allow her to wear the things she does?"

A light chuckle slipped from her mouth as she shrugged. "It's better than the all black and metal look that she was wearing when Aaron caught her out as the Black Queen. And I would rather there be someone in the BAU who adds a spot of color to the environment, but don't let anyone else know that."

"My lips are sealed." They shared a smile before Helen got to her feet and held out her hand. "I'll hang that on the coatrack before getting back to my work."

"Thank you, Helen. For everything." Her assistant nodded as she took hold of the coat and hung it up before going to the outer office. As soon as she heard Helen's fingers tapping away on her keyboard, Erin pulled out her phone and dialed David. "I love the new coat, David."

"It's not too large?" he asked, sounding a bit nervous about it.

"No, this will be perfect for when I truly get a baby bump. Though Tabitha's pregnancy didn't see me gaining much weight."

"If your doctor thinks that you're not gaining enough, I will start cooking the most delicious Italian food that I think will tempt you into eating second servings."

"I think the kids would like that as well. They really seemed to take a shine to you over the weekend, and that has made me feel a little more settled with how things will progress in the future. Oof." She rubbed her side absently, feeling a dull throb kick up there.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so, this feels a little like a charley horse in my side. I got them with all my pregnancies, and my doctor always said that it was a side effect of my body changing to house my sweet little babies." Again, she rubbed her side before standing up and walking around, still on the phone with her David. "I'm going to have to schedule in time to pick up a few new pieces for my wardrobe. I don't want to get too much, since that would be wasteful, but a few maternity skirts and blouses to go with my suit jackets should hold me over until the baby is here. I tend to wear my sweaters large, anyway, so once the weather turns cooler, I can just wear those more often as well."

"I think that we can find time to do that, Erin. Especially since Shepperd and I had a long chat about what happened in your office the other day. He's a bit mortified at my best friend's actions, and will be willing to give you carte blanche in the months ahead as a result of your being so kind to Hotch."

Erin rolled her eyes a little at that bit of knowledge. "I don't need you to micromanage this, David. I care for you, but I am still my own person, and can fight my own battles."

"I know that, _stellina_ , but he had heard about the outburst from someone, and was asking if you had said anything to me. I was honest, but fair. I hope. Are you really angry with me?"

Letting out a light sigh, she shook her head. "No, though God knows I should be. It is sort of nice that I can have someone like you to rely on in the hard times ahead. Because, let's face it, David, the fact that I've already been to hospital with minor complications does not bode well for the rest of the pregnancy."

"You have to stay optimistic."

"You can be my optimism, David. I need to be realistic. Do you think we can make that work?"

There was a small pause before he responded. "I think that we can. Has Aaron been by to talk to you at all?"

Erin chuckled as she shook her head. "And we circle back around to the real reason you wanted to talk to me. No, Aaron has not been by to talk to me. Helen said that Penelope has been the one to drop off all the reports for the team while I was away, and I don't think that that will change anytime soon. Or at least, I hope that's the case. I don't relish seeing him right away."

"I can pressure Shepperd…"

"No, David. I will handle it as I see fit, if he should come see me, and if things should get out of hand. While I would love to have you come to my rescue every single time an issue arises, I know that's not possible, so I need to learn how to deal with it in my own way. Please?"

"Of course, Erin. This is just so…"

"New? Yes, for me, too. And I know that it will be bumpy for the first little while, but as long as we keep the baby in mind, then I think everything will be all right."

"Yes. All right, one thing I never asked because it always slipped my mind. And don't even wisecrack that I'm getting old. I am fully aware of my age! Why do you think that you're having a girl?"

"I have two daughters already. And…I would like another. I love Bruce, so much, but this will be my last child, and I'd love to have one more little girl to spoil and dress up."

"Well, I'll pray that you get your wish, then, Erin. Now, I should let you get back to work, wouldn't want Hotch to accuse me of dividing your attention." She laughed softly as they wound up their conversation, and by the time she hung up with him, her heart felt lighter than it had when she had arrived at work, which she hoped was a feeling that would last for the rest of her pregnancy.


	21. Chapter 21

Life had somewhat settled into a routine over the course of two weeks, and Erin found herself looking forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays, when little gifts would appear from David. It was never anything quite so over the top as her bracelet and coat, but it was enough to show her that he cared, and that he wanted her to be looked after. Today, though, he hadn't sent anything, and to her surprise, Erin found herself annoyed by that fact, even though she knew that she shouldn't grow accustomed to being lavished with attention from him. Still, it was enough to put her in a mood, and she struggled valiantly to not take it out on Helen or Ms. Garcia when they both checked in with her.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Erin pushed her reading glasses up her nose as she focused her attention back on the report she was currently reading through. It was a slog, though, because her thoughts kept spinning around in her mind. She knew that it was part of the hormones coursing through her body as she grew a new life, but it still bothered her. "…suspect anything?"

She looked up at the sound of her son's voice in the outer office, and slipped her glasses off her face as she craned her head forward to try and see what was going on. That was the moment that David chose to pop in, giving her a wide smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Kidnapping you for the afternoon. I've already tasked Helen with driving your car home, since this will take the rest of the work day. And before you ask, I did already clear it with Shepperd, and will help you with any work that you have to bring home tonight."

"You've thought of everything, then, haven't you?" He nodded, giving her a cheesy grin as she pushed away from her desk, closing the file she had been reading before adding it to the short stack in front of her. "All right, if you want to grab my purse off the coat tree, I'll pack up my bag. Just where are we going?"

"We're taking you on a shopping spree, Mama! Dave managed to get us out of school this afternoon, and you'll be happy to know that he made certain to check with our teachers that we wouldn't be missing anything truly important as a result. That's why you didn't get any gift today, since today is going to be his gift to us all. Though I don't see how you getting new clothes is a gift to us, too."

Erin felt her eyes begin to tear up a little at the care that her partner had put into planning this afternoon for her, and she shrugged a little as she shoved her files into her attaché case before rising to her feet, welcoming Karen and Tabitha into her arms as they hugged her tightly. "Because we get to be a family, this way. I know that it hasn't been the easiest for you children, getting used to the fact that your father and I have split, and that I'm so quickly in a new relationship, and I have the feeling that he just really wants us to bond. Because that is what I want most of all. I want us to be a family, even if there are sharp edges to things for a while."

Karen kissed her cheek lightly before stepping away and giving her a small smile. "You've been happier with Dave than you were with Dad towards the end there. And if Dad didn't want the new baby, well, that's on him. We all want this new baby."

Erin felt her breath catch in her throat, and David was at her side in an instant, shooing Tabitha away as he pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her temple. "You have the best children in the world, Erin. You have definitely raised them right," he whispered in her ear before grabbing her bag and leading her out of her office to where Bruce and Helen were talking. She tried not to giggle at the slight flush in her son's cheeks, but when Helen caught her eye, she could see that they were both thinking the same thing, and she was unable to hold the giggle in any longer, instead covering it with a delicate cough.

"Are you ready to head out with us, Bruce, or do you want to talk to Helen for a while longer?" she asked, watching him tear his gaze away from Helen to look at them, the flush deepening a little as he shrugged. "All right, Helen, it looks like I've been kidnapped for an afternoon of shopping. Whatever did I do to deserve such blessings in my life?"

"When you find out, let me know. Enjoy your afternoon, and I'll be by with your car around six, since I'll be waiting for any final reports that I need to drop off with you for tomorrow morning." Helen gave her a small wink before shooing them over towards the door, and she nodded as they moved together, like a family. There were a few whispers from others as they went over to the elevators, but she caught the eye of Ms. Garcia as she stepped into the elevator, sighing a little as the younger woman smiled at them, giving her a small wave before she disappeared into the bullpen.

"All right, we have a number of places to visit in not a lot of time, but the first place we're headed to is…"

"Lunch!" her children chorused out as they stepped out of the elevator and headed over to the doors, dropping off their visitor badges in the basket before they headed outside and over to David's Cadillac. They piled into the back seat as David led her to the passenger side door, stopping her there for a moment as he looked into her eyes.

"What is it?"

"There's something that I've been wanting to do for the last three weeks. May I?" Her brow furrowed as she nodded, still looking up into his eyes and seeing nothing but care there, which caused a warm wave of affection to sweep over her heart as he lowered his face and then pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. As far as first kisses went, it was chaste, sweet, and possibly the most perfect thing she had ever experienced, and Erin sighed against his lips as the gentle kiss lingered on. "Well, that confirms it."

"Confirms what?" she asked as she smoothed her hair a little, trying to ignore the fact that the children were watching them.

"That this was the right action to take. I will never regret answering your call, and deciding to lay claim to this little bambina growing inside you. I have the family that I was looking for for so long, and I suppose that I have you and Hotch to thank for that." She nodded and blinked back more tears as he opened the door for her, and before she slipped inside, Erin leaned in and pressed her lips against his once more, knowing that this signaled the next step in their growing relationship.


	22. Chapter 22

"I thought we were heading home, David?" she asked when he turned down the road that led away from her home.

"We are, but it's my place. I hope that you don't mind. Though I'm surprised that you didn't see the children's bags in the trunk, which I thought was a dead giveaway."

She shook her head as she curled up into the passenger seat, listening to her kids talk between themselves as David continued to drive. There was something soothing about it, and she allowed her eyes to flutter closed as the voices of her children lulled her into a light sleep. A few minutes later, she felt warm lips press against her forehead and her cheeks, and she blinked her eyes open to see that they were in a large garage. "Have we arrived, then?"

"Yes, and the kids have already brought everything inside. I wanted to let you have a little more sleep, since I know that we walked a lot this afternoon."

"The exercise is good for me," she said as she took hold of his hand and allowed him to help her out of the vehicle and into the house. Breathing in, she could smell food baking, and she frowned a little as she looked up at him. "You let me sleep long enough to start food?"

"No, I had Karen call your favorite restaurant once you were out, and we picked up a meal before heading here. Helen should be by in about forty minutes to drop off your car and any paperwork that we need to work on this evening."

"When did she know that you were bringing me here?" she asked as they entered the kitchen, and she smiled to see that the children had already set the island with plates for all of them.

"When I called to inform her that I was taking you out this afternoon. Because I have a few questions to ask you tonight, once the kids have gone to bed."

She nodded as she carefully boosted herself up ono the barstool, picking up her glass of water and taking a few sips before smiling around at her family. The meal went smoothly, and just as they were finishing up, Helen dropped everything off, giving her a quick hug before leaving. As she brought the paperwork into the living room, she saw that David was already working through the files that had been in her bag, and she shook her head as she took a seat next to him, reviewing the work he had done before signing off on them and shoving them back into her bag.

"All right, everything is done here, what do you have to ask me?"

David got up and held out his hand expectantly. Frowning, she allowed him to pull her to her feet and then lead her upstairs. "There was one thing that I forgot, which was fresh clothes for tomorrow, so it's a good thing that you allowed me to purchase you some things that you swore you didn't need. While you've been busy at work, I've been busy with an interior decorator. I tried to go as neutral as possible, since we don't know for certain if you're having a boy or a girl yet, no matter what you feel in your heart."

She frowned a little as he guided her down the hall to a room at the end, only to gasp in pleased shock to see that David had turned the room into a nursery fit for a royal baby. "You managed to do this in the span of a few weeks?"

"I wanted to have it completed when I asked you my question, because I wanted to prove that the baby would have a place here, along with your kids. I know that it would be a large change, that Alan might be angry because this will put him farther away from his children."

Erin turned to look up into his face, reaching her hand out to cup his cheek. "Out with it, darling. What has you so flustered?"

"I want you to live here with me. I can keep a better eye on you, I can make certain that the kids get off to school so that you don't have to worry about doing that and getting to work on time. Of course, they'll stay in their schools, and I'll either hire a driver or take them myself when I'm not away on a book signing. I just feel that if we're going to make this work, we need to be together as much as possible. After all, you're carrying my baby, we're in a relationship, it would look weird to everyone watching us if we just lived separate lives?"

She gave him a small nod before turning to look at the nursery once more. He had gone to such great lengths to ensure that this would be a good place for her baby, that everything they could possibly need for her when she arrived was already in place, that she knew that she couldn't tell him anything but yes. Drifting over to the crib, she caressed the quilt that was laid over it in anticipation for the baby to come and burst into tears. "Was this yours?"

"Once upon a time, yes. And then, for a short time, it was James's. And now, it will be this one's, when they come home from the hospital. Does this mean that you'll stay here?"

"I want to say yes, but I have to ask my children first. They are my first priority, and always will be, no matter how tender my heart is towards you. Please, tell me that you understand that?"

He joined her by the crib and wrapped her in his arms. "I do, and I thought that was what your answer would be. Go in and ask before you come back to me here."

She let out a little sigh as she nodded, rising up on her tiptoes so that she could kiss him. Now that she had tasted his lips, she knew that it would be difficult to keep from kissing him any chance that she could. "I will be back, hopefully with the answer that you want, shortly." Kissing him once more, she turned on her heel and left the nursery before looking through the rooms on that floor, finding the master bedroom first, smiling at the sight of the large bed. Finally, she heard voices and opened a door to find all three of her children sitting on one bed, chatting animatedly.

"Mom! Did Dave ask you yet?" Tabitha asked.

"Ask me what?"

"If we wanted to move in here with him, of course!" Karen gave her that patient smile she had picked up from Erin, and she shook her head a little. "Oh, come on, we're not going to live in a mansion? I've already started bragging to my friends about our new home."

Erin felt her shoulders sag a little as she smiled at them tenderly. "I assumed that you would rather want to live with your father, since everything happened so quickly with the divorce and the baby."

"We've told you before, Mom. You're happier now. And when you're happy, we're happy. So, go give him the good news for us, will you?" Bruce gave her a small wink before they shooed her out of the room, and she laughed as she slipped out of the room and made her way back to the nursery, seeing that David was seated in the rocking chair, a knowing smirk on his lips.

"You already asked them, didn't you?"

"I talked to them about the future that I wanted for us all, yes, and they agreed that as long as I kept you happy, they would learn to get along with me as best they could and not cause any problems. Plus, I think that they are going to enjoy the perks of living with a famous author, since that means bragging rights."

She nodded as she came over to his side and curled up in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder as she curled her arm around his neck. "Oh, you do think of everything, don't you? I am so lucky that we've managed to put our petty differences behind us so that you were able to support me in my time of need. So, when do we start moving our things over?"

"I've hired movers for Monday."

"That confident, Rossi?" she needled, and he nodded. "Good. You are the good that I needed in my life." Erin promptly burst into tears, and burrowed closer to him as he rocked them gently, humming lightly in her ear as he sought to soothe her.


	23. Chapter 23

"Already?" Helen asked when Erin handed her the information to change her address, and she nodded at her assistant. "I was not expecting that to happen until you were well into your second trimester."

"David wants us to bond as a family for as long as we possibly can, and the easiest way to do that is if we're under the same roof. By the time I arrive home tonight, everything that we need will be moved over to his place. Karen and Tabitha are in love with it already, since they're finally getting their own rooms, but we're now out of guest rooms. Which means that one of us will have to sleep on the sofa when we get into a fight."

"Or you could not go to sleep angry? That's what my mom always told me was the key to a successful relationship. Oh, I'm so happy for you, Erin. You finally have that pregnancy glow, and that happiness is so good to see after how rocky things began."

She nodded as she adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder. "It has been nice to find an even keel in everything. Though I'm sort of dreading when Agent Gideon returns, since I know that he and Aaron have a rather tight working relationship. But I'll be six months pregnant at that time, God willing."

"Don't talk like that."

"I have to think like that, since this is a high-risk pregnancy. Yes, I'm fourteen weeks along this week, which means I'm out of the immediate danger zone, but I don't want to grow too complacent with things, because that's when the worst seems to happen."

Helen rose to her feet and came around to her side, resting her hand on Erin's shoulder as she looked into her eyes. "All right, I'll be the happy ray of optimistic sunshine, only with less of Penelope Garcia's over the top zaniness, you can be the realist." Erin nodded before taking a deep breath. "I'll file this change of address before I leave for the day. You go home and get used to your swanky new accommodations."

She giggled shortly as she nodded. "I will do just that." Helen gave her a small wink before Erin turned and left her office, heading over to the elevators just as Aaron was stepping out of the bullpen and headed for the same destination. Her spine stiffened as she pressed the down button before she pressed her hand to her baby bump in an effort to calm her suddenly racing heart. "Good evening, Agent Hotchner."

"Chief Strauss. Headed home?"

"Yes. How is Haley doing?" The elevator doors slid opened, and they stepped inside it, Aaron pressing the button for the ground floor.

"The morning sickness hasn't passed for her yet, which is common for some women. How are you doing?"

"Luckily, my stomach seems to have sorted itself out, as I no longer get any morning sickness. You'll be able to find out the sex of the baby at her next scan. What are you hoping for?" This was the most civil conversation that they had had in weeks, and she wanted to keep it light and focused on Haley so that it would not turn to her.

"I think that we both are wanting a boy. What do you want?"

"A little girl. I have this feeling that I'm going to be blessed with another daughter," she said lowly as she absently caressed her baby bump. "Though I won't know for six more weeks what we're having. The nursery that David has had created is absolutely perfect, no matter if it's a girl or a boy." She saw, from the corner of her eye, that his jaw had stiffened at the mention of his best friend, and she took a deep breath before turning to look at him. "Look, I know that this is awkward for you both. He's your best friend, and the father of my baby. Please, for his sake at least, don't shut him out."

"I'm trying, Erin. Even though we all know the truth of your pregnancy." She frowned. "No, don't look at me like that. You know that I abhor lying in anyone, but I understand why you and Dave are holding to this story, as it would look bad on you to be pregnant with my child. So I'll accept it for the moment. Especially since Haley is getting a little clingy as her pregnancy progresses. I make no promises of what the future will hold, however. Keep that in mind."

"I suppose that I'll have to, Aaron," she responded smoothly as they reached the ground floor, and she stepped out of the elevator, only for him to take hold of her elbow as he guided her out to the parking lot. "Aaron?"

"Our conversation hasn't finished yet, so I'm going to escort you to your car." From the way that he was gripping her arm, she knew that she couldn't easily shake it off. "Now, are you taking all your prenatal vitamins?"

"This is my fourth pregnancy, Aaron. I know how to take care of myself and my baby. Do you have any other questions I might be able to answer for you?"

"Do you have a birth plan yet?"

Erin fought to keep from rolling her eyes as they walked along, and cleared her throat before answering as sarcastically as she could. "My obstetrician and I have decided that the best course of action is for me to have a home water birth. It's supposed to be quite soothing, and one of the least stressful options available to women." His hold on her elbow tightened and she glared up at him as she planted her feet into the ground, refusing to go any farther.

"You will have the baby in a hospital. Understood?"

"You're not my husband, you're not my partner, and this is not your baby. You can't possibly think that you can dictate how I and my doctor determine what my best course of action is. Believe me, we are talking quite frequently about the next weeks of my pregnancy at each appointment, and I am determined to not look any further ahead than that. I will do whatever Doctor Brunner says is best for this baby, in order to make certain that this pregnancy sticks for as long as possible. But I know damn well that added stress is the last thing that I need. So please, if you care for my baby, even in the slightest bit, do not cause me any extra grief."

She hated herself for tearing up in his presence, though she knew that it was the hormones making her more emotional. Blinking furiously, she stared into his face, willing him to open his mouth once more, to let her know that he had heard and understood what she was driving at. "Haley cries at the drop of a hat these days."

"Yes, that's what the hormones do to a woman."

"Fine, I will try not to interfere with your pregnancy. But you will let me know anything important?"

The fact that he had asked rather than demanded she keep him in the loop allowed her to be a bit gracious, and she nodded as she was finally able to shake her arm free from his hold. "Of course, though I'm certain that David would also be glad to fill you in on everything that you need to know." Erin gave him a small smile before hurrying over to her car and climbing behind the wheel, pulling out of her spot as quickly as possible so that she couldn't be detained by Aaron again.


	24. Chapter 24

It had taken Erin the entire drive home to get her blood pressure and emotions back under control, and by the time she had arrived at her new home, she felt practically calm, even as she anticipated the weird barrage of emotions that would come with seeing her things in a new place. As she turned the car off, she watched the door to the garage open to reveal Tabitha. Smiling at her daughter, Erin gave her a small wave before she got out and went over to her side.

"You're finally home! Supper's ready, and then we can show you how well the movers did. Even though all our things are in new places, it really feels like this is home. Dave said that we're going to have Dad over in a week or so, to let him see that we're okay here, and that he doesn't feel like we're just going to forget him."

She nodded as she slung her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "I think that that is a good idea, Tabby," Erin said lowly as they entered the kitchen. A weary smile curved her lips upwards as she locked eyes with David, and he nodded a little as he held out his arm. Erin easily left her daughter's side and went to her partner, allowing him to wrap her up in a tight hug. "We have to talk after supper," she whispered in his ear before kissing him gently.

"Of course, _stellina_. There's something I want to discuss with you, too." He gave her one more kiss before pushing her towards the island. "This will be our last meal in here, I want to start using the dining room for meals, since it's been a while since I've had the need to regularly use it. Plus, I don't want your mom to be climbing on and off the barstools until after the baby is here. I hope you don't mind?"

"That will be fine, Dave," Bruce said, giving Erin a little smirk, as if they had all been in on this conversation before it had happened, and Erin glared at David as she climbed up on to the empty stool between Karen and Tabitha. He chuckled as he began to pass around the plates, and Erin just shook her head a little, knowing that she had been backed into a corner for the moment. The meal they had prepared for her smelled delicious, and she hungrily dug in once Karen had said grace for the meal, listening to her children chatter on happily about their new home.

"All right, kiddos, your mom and I need to talk about a few things. I'll make certain that she comes up to see your rooms before we turn in for the night, though. All right?"

They all nodded before trooping out of the kitchen, and Erin sighed a little as she watched them leave the kitchen, loading their dishes into the washer as they went. Once they were alone, she helped David to rinse out the pots and pans before adding them to the washer and then filling her glass with more water. "Let's do this in the living room. I need to be comfortable."

"What's hurting?" he asked, reaching out to rest his hand on her upper arm, looking at her in concern.

"My back. You're right about not wanting me on the barstools, but not for the reason that you think. I don't believe I'd fall, but there's no support for my back, so it's starting to ache a little." He nodded as he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before taking hold of her hand and leading her into the living room.

"Stretch out on the sofa, and I'll try to give you a bit of a back massage." Erin nodded as she shrugged out of her suit jacket, dropping it onto the coffee table before tugging her blouse out of her skirt so that he could get better access to her skin. "It might be better if you just take that off, Erin. I mean, leave your bra on, but I can rub your shoulders better without all that fabric in the way."

"You just want to get me naked," she teased as she quickly unbuttoned the garment and put it on top of her jacket. Erin couldn't help but preen a little when she noticed that David was trying to discreetly check out her chest. "Ever the gentleman," she whispered as she settled down on the sofa, pillowing her head on her arms as he approached her side and knelt down, his hands smoothly starting to rub out the kinks and knots that he found in her back.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Erin?" he asked as he continued to massage her, and she tried not to undo all the hard work he had put into her back by tensing up. " _Stellina_?"

"Aaron and I had a bit of a talk this evening on the way out to our cars."

David's hands stilled a little on her lower back before he helped her to sit up, taking a seat next to her as he picked up her blouse and handed it to her. She hurriedly buttoned the garment before scooting closer to him and resting her head on his chest. "What did he have to say?"

"He wanted to tell me exactly how to manage my pregnancy. I couldn't help but needle him a little, saying that we wanted to have a home water birth." David let out a loud bark of laughter at that, and she chuckled in tandem with him as she shrugged. "I know, I never would do something like that, but I also knew that it would get under his skin."

"He is easy to tease at times. What else did he have to say?"

She took a deep breath. "That he's not going to press the issue of this baby being his for the moment. He's quite correct about the fact that it would look extremely beyond the pale if he and I were to announce the fact that I was carrying his child at the same time that his wife is also pregnant."

"And you're certain he said for the moment?"

Erin nodded. "I know, that's what bothered me, too. As if he he's already planning to take further action, if he doesn't like something we're doing in raising her. But I can't think about that now. I need to focus on the immediate future, on what I can theoretically control. But, what did you want to talk to me about? Hopefully it's something a little happier than this."

He gave her a little grin as he nodded and moved away from her as he reached into his pocket. "Hold out your hand, Erin." Hesitantly, she did as told, and then he was dropping a ring onto her palm. "This isn't an engagement ring, not yet. We haven't lived together long enough to determine if we want to make things official. But it is a promise from me to you that I will do my best to take care of you, your children, and our baby. My name will be on her birth certificate, no matter how much Aaron might rail against that little fact. So while I want to make things a little more official in the future, for now, this is just me promising you that I will not walk out on you and the children."

"Oh, David," she breathed out as she began to cry, slipping the ring into place on her finger before holding her hand out to look at it in pleasure. "This is too much."

"It's just right, Erin." She leaned in and kissed him soundly before slipping into his lap and hugging him tightly. "What's this?"

"I just, I cannot thank you enough." She held him tighter, feeling a little off kilter in this emotional moment. "Just hold me for a little longer, and then I'll head up and say good night to the children?"

"As if I could ever let you go, Erin," he whispered, and she felt her heart echo back that statement as she let out a deep sigh, praying that this would finally be the relationship that would last in her life.


	25. Chapter 25

"Erin Strauss?"

She looked up from her phone to see who was addressing her, not recognizing the young man. "May I help you?"

"Yes, these are for you. You've been served."

Erin felt the blood drain from her face as she took hold of the manila envelope that he shoved at her, watching him quickly turn on his heel and make his way over to the elevators. Her knees buckled a little, and as she weaved on her feet, she tried to think about who would have had the audacity to do this to her at her job. "Ma'am? Are you all right?" She looked almost sightlessly at Ms. Garcia and shook her head a few times. "All right, let's get you back to your office, then." The younger woman placed a gentle hand on the small of her back and guided her back to Helen, who seemed surprised to see the both of them there. "I think that she got bad news," she heard Ms. Garcia say as she helped her to sit in the chairs by the wall as Helen rushed over to their sides.

"Erin, what happened?"

Wordlessly, she handed the envelope over to her assistant and then took in a few, deep, shuddery, breaths in an effort to keep from bursting into tears. "I'm assuming that those are divorce papers" she finally murmured as she pulled out her phone and texted David, needing to talk to him at that moment. Within seconds of her sending the text, her phone was ringing, and she brought it to her ear as she gave a shaky smile to Helen. "Darling…"

"What's happened? Are you okay? Is it the baby?"

She could hear the agony in his voice, and that was the thing to kick off her tears, and she blindly thrust the phone at Ms. Garcia as she curled her arms around her baby bump and sobbed. Soon, she felt Helen's arms around her shoulders, and she leaned into her assistant, grateful that she was there. In the background, she heard Ms. Garcia tell him what little she knew, before ending the call and reaching out and touching her knee softly. "What do you need me to do? I still have my connections from my days underground, and I make certain that everything works out for you."

Erin let out a watery laugh as she shook her head, pulling away from Helen a little so that she could look into the other woman's eyes. "I knew that this day was coming, we've been separated for close to four months now, but it's still a shock. The fact that he thought it was appropriate for him to do this while I was at work, though, that's a low blow. We were doing so well, I thought."

"Well, you should probably go home and talk to Rossi. He sounds extremely concerned about you. I'm supposed to ask Helen if she'll bring your car home, and if I would drive you home. He didn't want you to take any chances on the road. Do you need anything from your office?"

"No, I was heading home when I was served."

"Okay. Where are your keys?" Wordlessly, Erin pulled her purse onto her lap and rummaged around inside before taking hold of the keyring and handing it over to Helen before taking the envelope from her hands. "Now, let's get you home. Do you think that you could manage the stairwell? No one thinks to take the stairs, so you wouldn't be seen with a tear stained face. At least, that's what I tell myself every time I end up that way after a particularly difficult case."

She nodded a little as the women helped her to her feet. "I will be here tomorrow, Helen. I can't allow this to throw off my schedule, not when I'm trying to save all my sick days for later in the pregnancy."

"I'll have your smoothie ready when you arrive then, so that's one less thing that you have to worry about. Call me when you get home, so that I know you arrived safely. Your car will be there in a few hours, since I have to finish up here, and call my partner to let her know that I have to be picked up at your place again."

"Thank you, Helen," she murmured as she slipped the manila envelope into her bag before taking a deep breath and looking at Ms. Garcia. "I suppose that I'm ready to go, Ms. Garcia."

"I've told you, Penelope. Please."

Erin gave her a short nod before turning on her heel and sweeping out of the room, keeping her chin raised high as she went over to the stairwell, slipping behind the door before allowing her shoulders to slump in relaxation, knowing that no one could see her. Moments later, Penelope joined her, and to her shock, the younger woman took firm hold of her hand before heading down the stairs first. "I don't need to be guided, Penelope."

"And I have the feeling that your David would find very creative ways to make me suffer if I should allow anything to happen to you, no matter how much you insisted that you are a strong, independent, woman. I did my research, I know he grew up in Commack."

"Fine, but if anyone appears…"

"I drop your hand like it's a hot potato. I get it. You don't do warm and fuzzy feelings all that well." Penelope squeezed her hand a few quick times before they continued down the stairs. Instinctively, she wanted to head towards her car, and it was difficult to let herself be guided over to a car that thoroughly suited who Penelope Garcia was. "Do you want me to keep the roof up? It's nice enough these days where I like to drive with it down when I can, and the weather is perfect today."

"It might be nice to allow the wind to whip through my hair," Erin replied quietly as she watched Penelope take down the cloth roof before she got into the vehicle, storing purse and bag at her feet.

"Did you want to stop and get anything to drink before I bring you home? Or get ice cream somewhere? I know, you don't trust me, not like I might want to be trusted, but I would like to show you that I'm not as cruel as I was to you when you found out about the baby. I judged you before I knew everything, and I hate when people do that to me. I know, we won't be best friends, but I want to be kind."

"And I appreciate that, Penelope. Truly. It just might take me some time to warm up to you, since my focus is on my children and this pregnancy."

The younger woman nodded as she turned in the direction that Erin pointed. "And is Rossi taking good care of you?"

"Yes. I do care for him so much, and I know that he is going to take care of us so well. He didn't sign up for all the baggage…" Her voice trailed off as she drew in a deep breath. "You'll want to take a right at this light." Penelope nodded, and they fell into a much lighter conversation as Erin directed her to her home, as if Penelope knew that she couldn't talk about anything heavier in that moment. And while she wasn't quite ready to accept her fully into her inner circle, it was nice to talk to someone about little things in the world that made her happy, and she thought that maybe, just maybe, in time she could consider Penelope a friend.


	26. Chapter 26

"Do you want me to walk you to the door, Erin?" Penelope asked as she put her car in park. Erin turned to look at the woman, shaking her head a little before bending to pick up her bags. "All right, I'll stop by at some point tomorrow to check in with you. I'll try to make it look official, so that people won't gossip about it, but I will still feel better about things if I can see you doing better."

"That will be fine, Penelope." She gave the woman a small smile before exiting the car and making her way up to the door. Karen had it open before she could even raise her hand to knock, wrapping her up in a tight hug. Erin turned back to see if Penelope was still there, somewhat relieved to find out that she was the type of person who waited until her friend was inside the house before leaving, and she gave her a little wave before guiding her daughter inside. "Kare, what is it?"

"Dad called me earlier today and told me that he was pressing for shared custody of us, since he found a way to fast track your divorce. I thought that he understood that we were happy with you and Dave. We've just gotten used to being here." Karen burst into tears as she held Erin all the tighter, shifting her body around Erin's baby bump so that she could get as close as possible. "I haven't told Bruce or Tabitha yet, because I didn't know if you knew about the divorce or not, but when you called Dave, I knew. I don't want to miss out on any time with you, Mama."

She stroked Karen's hair lightly as she brought her into the living room. David was sitting on the sofa, Tabitha curled up against his side as they talked animatedly about something related to school, and she cleared her throat a little to get their attention. "I hate to interrupt, Tabby, but I think that I need to talk to David for a few minutes and then we'll have to have a family discussion following supper. Why don't you get Bruce and make something for us?"

"All right! Do you mind if we raid the kitchen, Dave?"

"I trust you munchkins enough to not burn the house down," he replied as he shooed Tabitha away from him. Karen squeezed her once more before pushing Tabitha out of the room. Erin heard her eldest child yell out for her brother as they made for the kitchen, and she let out a watery little chuckle as she made her way over to David and carefully sat down, feeling every creak of her bones. "How is the baby doing?"

"Okay, I think. I am definitely entering the next phase of this pregnancy, though. Eighteen weeks along today, and Haley is twenty weeks. I keep thinking about time, and how it appears to be running out. He served me with divorce papers at work, and then Karen told me that he's pressing for custody of the children. I haven't read the decree yet, but I'm assuming that he's using the part of Virginia law where if a spouse can prove adultery, they can get a divorce without waiting the requisite year before taking such an action. I, I don't know what I'll do if I lose the children at this point, darling." She started to cry once more as she pulled the manila envelope out of her bag and handed it over to him. "Please, look at that and tell me what my next, best, course of action should be."

Erin pulled the knitted blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her body as she curled into the softness of the sofa. "Well, first thing I can tell you, before even looking at these papers, is that I will fight tooth and nail to see that we retain physical custody of the children. If that means we have to get married as soon as the ink is dry on the divorce decree, so be it. You're all my family now, and I will do whatever I have to, in order to make that happen."

"That sounds a lot like love," she whispered before she could check her tongue, and from the corner of her eye, Erin watched him nod without hesitation, feeling the breath sucked from her lungs. "It's only been three months. How can you be that certain?"

"Because you haven't asked me for anything beyond a safe harbor for your bambina. Because your children have brought a life to this house that I never thought it would have. Because holding you in my arms as we go to sleep is enough for me until you're ready, and I've never felt that way in a relationship before, Erin. Usually, I end up screwing my date on the first night, but I haven't felt that desire with you. I don't want to screw this up." He reached out to caress her hair before leaning down and pressing his lips against the crown of her head, drawing in a deep breath that told her he wanted to say more, but a loud shout from the kitchen caught both of their attention.

"Mom! Tell me that Karen is lying!" Tabitha wailed as she raced into the living room and threw herself onto the floor at their feet, reaching out to grab her hand tightly. "I don't want to go live with Dad! He has a two bedroom apartment, which means, Karen and I are going to have to share a room, and Bruce will have to sleep on the couch. I don't want to go back to that. Or spending a week at his place in rotation, since there's only one bedroom. Please, tell me that you won't let that happen!"

Erin had always known that Tabitha was given to being overly emotional, and this was definitely the case here. But before she could say anything, Bruce and Karen were joining their little sister in the living room, looking equally unhappy with the news. She glanced at David, giving him a small shrug, hoping that he would be able to help her explain that it wouldn't be up to her, that it would be the courts deciding how the custody process would go. He gave her a small nod before gesturing for Karen and Bruce to take seats as well.

"Look, kiddos, you've only been here for a few months, but you already feel like my family. And I would do anything for my family. However, this might be something even out of my control as a famous author. I do have a lawyer on retainer, so my next step will be to contact her and have her go over the paperwork that your father sent over today. I won't give up on you without a fight, I can promise you that. Now, how is supper going?"

"The casserole is in the oven, and will be done in about thirty minutes. We have to set the table yet, but…"

"Can we just eat in here and watch a movie on tv? Please?"

Somehow, Erin knew that Tabitha knew she had David wrapped around her little finger when she asked that question, so she was unsurprised when he nodded in response. "Choose a movie, Tabby girl, and make yourselves comfortable. I know that your mother already is."

She chuckled as she cuddled closer to him, resting her head on his chest as her children began to get settled around them, knowing that while the fight might not be over yet, tonight's battle had been won.


	27. Chapter 27

"I just received word that Jason will be returning back to the BAU next week," Erin said as she smoothed her nightgown over her growing bump. Though David had said that she looked positively fecund at the moment, all Erin felt was fat. She was twenty weeks along, halfway through her pregnancy, and she couldn't wait for her next appointment to see if she had been correct in her belief that she was having a little girl. Smiling a little, she stroked her stomach once more before turning to look at her partner, seeing that he was already in bed, resting against the headboard as he read through his current manuscript. "Did you hear me, darling?"

He looked up from the page he held in his hand, and gave her a sheepish smile. "Something about Jason?" he asked as he patted her side of the bed, and she rolled her eyes a little as she went to the bed and awkwardly got in, knowing that it would only get worse as she progressed in her pregnancy. "Is it almost time for him to return?"

"Yes, it's been five months, and he was given six months of leave. Have you talked to him at all?" she asked as she worried the sheet between her fingers, knowing that they had been close once upon a time. He nodded, but wouldn't look at her, which meant that they had been talking. "What is he saying about me?"

"Just that we're a bit old to be having affairs and for you to end up pregnant. There was a strong sense that he thought we should have explored our options." Erin felt herself blanch a little at the implication of those words, her hand covering her bump protectively as she looked at him. "I told Jason where he could shove it, just so you know. And I was glad that Aaron hadn't told him the truth about the baby's parentage. I think he might be realizing just all of what's on the line if we let the truth come out now."

She nodded as she felt the baby kick out at her hand. "David, here, feel," she gasped out as she took hold of his hand and pressed it down on the place where she had felt the fluttering movements, watching his face relax into a smile full of wonderment and joy. "She's moving."

"So I can feel." His smile grew as he leaned in and kissed her deeply. Erin sighed against his lips as she curled her hand around his neck, puling him in closer to her as she felt the first flickering of desire start to rise in her core. "Erin?"

"I think that it's time we were a little more intimate, don't you?" She didn't know how David would answer her question, so she pulled him in close for another kiss before taking hold of his hand and bringing it to her breasts, encouraging him to touch her. A sharp gasp slipped from her lips as he used the fabric of her nightgown to irritate her nipple, causing it to stiffen into a tight button. She mewled a little in frustration when he stopped touching her, arching away from her as he began to ruck up said nightgown, his hands ghosting over her skin. Finally, they had to end the kiss so that he could remove the nightgown before tugging off his own shirt and pyjama pants.

"Are you certain that this is the direction that you want to go? Once we're…" Erin cut off his words with another fierce kiss, letting her actions speak for her thoughts. She wanted to be his, she wanted to feel cherished and loved in this moment, and somehow, she knew that she could trust David to ensure that would happen. He broke the kiss once more to gaze down in her eyes, and she bit her lip as continued to look at him, hoping that the trust she had for him was evident in her eyes. "All right, I get the hint." Chuckling a little, he ran his fingers through her hair before beginning to pepper her face with light kisses, including her eyelids, which made her feel so cherished in that moment. Soon, though, he was dragging his lips along her jaw and down her neck, tracing his tongue along her collarbone, causing her to shiver with desire.

"David," she breathed out as he began to work his way down her chest, one hand cupping a breast as his other hand slipped between her thighs to brush against her vulva. She parted her legs so that he could have better access to her body and then she was arching her back as his lips first brushed against the swell of her breasts. She was already starting to become so sensitive to sensation that the merest brush of his tongue against her areola caused her to cry out, her hand pressing against the back of his head, encouraging him to taste her more fully. "Oh, fuck," she whimpered as his thumb brushed against her clit while he sucked at her nipples. Sensation after glorious sensation washed over her body as he smoothly entered her with one stroke, filling her completely. There was something so gloriously heady about having sex with someone she loved when her last experience had been the complete opposite.

"Am I hurting you?" he murmured in her ear as he thrust lazily in and out of her body.

"No, darling, this feels perfect," she gasped out as she met his thrust for thrust, finding herself driven to higher planes of pleasure as he continued to kiss and stroke her, learning her body as they made love. "I love you," she gasped out as she felt everything in her body coalesce into the tight, heady, feeling that foretold her impending orgasm, and Erin slung one leg around his thigh, pulling him in deeper as she went over the precipice into pure bliss.

The next thing she was aware of, David was gently washing her body free from the aftereffects of sex, and her heart lurched in her chest as she gazed at him. "Do you really love me?" he asked as he helped her back into her nightgown, and she nodded. "When did you know?"

"When you fought for my children. I know that we don't have quite the custody agreement that we wanted, but you did everything you could to make us a family without being hateful towards Alan. I know that he's under so much pressure from his parents, that they don't know the full story, and so whipped him into the weird custody agreement that he wanted. I made the largest mistake of my life, and you were the only one who took it in stride and still saw me as someone worthy. I know, I know, I'm giving Helen short shrift, but I would never look at Helen that way. She's happy with her wife, and I am so happy with you, even if Aaron and Jason are hanging over my head like the proverbial sword of Damocles."

Bursting into tears, she snuggled in close to his body, wanting to lose herself in him as she struggled to get control over her emotions once more. "I prefer to think that your largest mistake led to the life that you were supposed to have, which is with me." She let out a watery chuckle at that little declaration, welcoming his arm around her waist as he curved his body around hers. "I know, I could have said that a little more seriously. So here, have these words from my heart. I love you, too. And our little girl. And our older children. We are going to be a family, come hell or high water, and I never want you to feel as if I'll choose my friendships with Aaron and Jason over you. I'm in this for the long haul, _stellina_." She nodded and rested her head on his chest, allowing his heartbeat to lull her into a deep, restful, sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

Erin didn't know why she felt nervous over Jason's return to the BAU, but she was, and even the children had picked up on her anxiousness, giving her extra hugs before they left for school with David. She had already told Helen that she would be running a little late that morning, and her assistant had seemed to know that Jason was the one for her lateness, as she offered to run the cases to Aaron before she arrived. Erin had demurred, knowing that she needed to face both men sooner rather than later, since they were her subordinates.

The drive in to work found her distracted as she tried to think about how she would react to seeing Jason once more. She knew that he had been through more than most agents went through, so she worried about his mental stability more so than she did the rest of Alpha team, since they had been able to bond and heal together, while Jason had been excluded from that healing process. Letting out a deep sigh, she stepped into the elevator and rode up to the sixth floor, trying to center herself as she stepped out of the elevator and into the corridor.

Unfortunately, she also almost immediately bumped into the one person she had been hoping to avoid, and she drew in a sharp breath when the man turned to look at her, his face shuttering instantly into a flat stare as he looked her up and down, one eyebrow quirking upwards when he took in her stomach. Twenty-four weeks saw her looking like she was much further along than she was, which she chalked up to it being her fourth pregnancy. "Hotch didn't lie when he said you were really pregnant, Erin."

"Jason. It's good to have you back with us. And yes, I am heading towards the end of my pregnancy, only fifteen weeks to go, God willing, and then I'll be holding my daughter in my arms. Have you talked to Steven at all while you were off?"

She knew that she was pressing her luck by mentioning his son, and his jaw tightened a little before he answered her. "I was not able to reach him, no. But it was good to spend so much time at my cabin. There is something to be said about the healing power of nature, and only having the birds for your companions. I heard that Dave Rossi is the father of your baby?"

Erin heard that for the jibe that it was, and she drew in a deep breath as she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin a little. "That is correct. It didn't take you long to catch up on office gossip."

"One has to be on top of these things, Erin. I see that you haven't filled Benjamin's position yet, though we have a new technical analyst."

"Yes, I was leaving that decision up to Aaron, since he made such a brilliant choice to hire Ms. Garcia. You're headed to Seattle after the briefing, aren't you?" He nodded. "I've been hearing rumblings that there's an agent there who would like to join the BAU, so if you have the opportunity to work with her, do so. We can't have an open position for much longer, and I don't want to incur further acrimony with Aaron by just plugging someone in who might not be the best fit."

"It is so good to know that it only took you getting pregnant with a former subordinate's child while still married to your husband for you to start taking our feelings into consideration," he muttered, and she shrank away from him before allowing her jaw to stiffen once more. "If there's nothing else, I need to go be with my team and meet the analyst. Have a good day."

He turned and left her presence, and Erin allowed her nostrils to flare a little at the way he had just dismissed her. She knew that she shouldn't allow that to get beneath her skin, but it did. She knew that he still didn't respect her for the sheer fact that she had managed to rise to the role of section chief even after the minor scandal that had been attached to her name during the Amerithrax case. Still, she wouldn't allow his petty sexism to truly dampen her spirits, since she knew that it was going to be a good day. Heading to her office, she was surprised to see that Aaron was in there already, talking to Helen, and she squared her shoulders as went inside.

"Can I help you, Agent Hotchner?" she asked as she went over to Helen's desk, taking the smoothie that her assistant held out to her.

"I was just leaving her a message for you. You're cutting it close this morning."

"Yes, well, a late bout with morning sickness led to a change of clothes." He nodded sharply at that, and she gave him a brittle smile before taking a sip of the smoothie, finding the taste of strawberries very welcome that morning. "Now, what did you need to tell me?"

"I was wondering if you had the files for the Seattle case. I want to head out as soon as possible."

"Yes, give me two seconds." She went over to her door, unlocking it awkwardly as she fumbled with the keys and her drink. Finally, she got it open and they stepped inside. Erin went right over to her desk, setting everything on top of it before rummaging through her attaché case and pulling out the files he would need for the case. "Here you go."

Aaron took them from her hands and then looked down at her baby bump. "Haley doesn't look nearly as large as you do, and yet her doctor has ordered her on full bedrest. Are you certain that everything is okay?"

She took a deep breath before drinking more of her smoothie. "I am being well taken care of by David, and he is making certain that I follow every mandate that Doctor Brunner gives me. Thank you for asking." She touched her baby bump and took a deep breath. "We found out that we're having a little girl, but we still haven't decided on a name for her yet. I think that that is going to wait until I'm holding her for the first time, as I don't want to tempt Fate by naming her before she's here."

"Haley has insisted on making a short list of names for him. Or rather, she's been buying baby name books up the wazoo, and scouring through them for the perfect name. It's hard to tell her that all the ones she likes so far happen to be the names of unsubs that I've taken into custody."

"That's the better part of having a girl. There aren't that many bad names to worry about. Thank God I don't like Aileen or Susan." He gave her a small nod before reaching out and touching her shoulder lightly. "But, I should let you know that I don't take kindly to having rumors spread about me around the bullpen. Jason already knows about the fact that I'm living with David, and that he's the father of this baby. I've already been found lacking in his sight. You are the SAC, keep him in line, so that I don't have to."

Aaron's hand squeezed the ball of her shoulder tightly as he nodded sharply. "I will make a note of that, Erin. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a briefing to run, and I'll touch base with you when we're home from Seattle." She nodded and watched him go, wondering what she was going to do next with him.


	29. Chapter 29

Elle Greenaway had been with Alpha team for five weeks, and while it appeared that she was a good fit for the team, things hadn't gotten easier between Erin and Jason. Instead, the situation seemed even more fraught, and she knew that the stress and worry on her body was not good for her little girl. But she couldn't think of a way to make things better between them, short of a total personality transplant for one of them. Letting out a deep sigh, she signed off on the report in front of her before tugging off her reading glasses and dropping them on top of it as she pushed herself away from her desk and stretched out on her sofa.

"I had forgotten how tired pregnancy makes me, little one," she cooed softly as she rubbed her stomach absently. "Thank goodness I have an understanding boss who doesn't mind my taking naps while I'm here, so long as all my work gets done. I don't know what I'd do otherwise." A long yawn split her lips as she pulled the blanket off the back of her couch, spreading it over her body as she turned onto her side and let her eyelids flutter closed as she slid into a quick, deep, sleep.

"Sir, I can't let you go in there without either an appointment or finding out if she's free!"

Erin frowned as she burrowed down further into the couch, trying to ignore the raised voice of her assistant, still feeling a bone deep weariness, even as wakefulness began to eat at the fuzzy corners of her brain. "She'll see me."

Her frown deepened as she recognized Jason's voice, and before she could sit up and make herself look more presentable, he was bursting into her office. "I told you, Agent Gideon, I need to announce you before you just barge in there!" Turning her head a little, she watched Helen try to keep Jason out of her office, but he brushed past her to see where Erin was, a quick glare passing across his features when he saw that she was curled up on the sofa. "Do you want me to get security, ma'am?"

"No, I think that we'll be fine. Let David know that I might be late in calling him, though, please."

"Of course," Helen murmured, giving her a small nod before leaving the office, not closing the door behind her like she normally would. She was beginning to admire her assistant's protective nature more and more as her pregnancy continued.

Turning her face to focus back on Jason, she gestured for him to take a seat next to her on the sofa as she sat up and wrapped the blanket around her legs, finding herself cold, like she normally was after waking up. "What can I do for you, Jason?"

"Well, first of all, you can tell me why you think it's appropriate to sleep on the job. Does Director Shepperd know about this?"

She straightened her shoulders and looked imperiously down her nose at him. "When my obstetrician labelled my pregnancy extremely high risk, I went right to the Director and informed him that I would have to take a few rests during the work day. Not that that's any of your business, though. I don't report to you, and your thinly veiled attempts to threaten and bully me will not go unnoticed. While I might not want to make a fuss, I can't say the same for my partner. Remember David, one of your closest friends?"

Jason blanched a little as he nodded. "I do. Is he doing well?"

"Why don't you talk to him yourself, Agent Gideon."

They both turned to see Helen standing in the doorway of the office, and Erin gave her a relieved smile. "Is he on the phone?"

"Yes, ma'am, line two. And he specifically requested to speak with Agent Gideon before he spoke with you. I hope you don't mind the interruption, sir." Helen fixed a cool smile on her face as she stared Jason down, and Erin felt herself relax a little as she absently rubbed her stomach. "Feel free to use the phone in here, or in my office, Agent Gideon, but know that Mister Rossi would like to speak with you sooner rather than later."

Jason gave her another small glare as he rose to his feet and ambled over to her desk, sitting on the corner of it as he picked up the receiver and pressed the correct line. As they listened to his side of the conversation, Helen came over to her side and sank down onto the arm of the couch, her eyes never really leaving Jason's face as he spoke. At some point, her hand came to rest on Erin's shoulder, and she glanced up at her assistant, giving her a small smile as she sighed. "Thank you for calling him. I don't know what Jason's motives were for coming here this morning, but I was not in the mood to deal with any of this today. I am just so tired."

"You looked tired when you came in today. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I just got behind on my paperwork, I'll probably have David help me when I get home tonight. This was what happened last time, too, it's just started earlier in this pregnancy. Which makes sense." Letting out a long breath, she pressed her hands against her baby bump and turned her attention back to Jason, listening to him wrap up the conversation, his expression a deep glower as he stared at her.

"He wants to talk to you, Erin."

She nodded as she awkwardly got to her feet, doing her best to walk as elegantly as possible, knowing that her expanding girth made that not as possible as she'd like. Taking the receiver from his hand, she brought it up to her ear as she shooed him from the office, giving him a tight smile at the small nod he gave her before he stalked from the room, Helen close at his heels, closing the door behind her. "Darling."

"Erin. He's mad."

"I rather gathered that. Did he tell you why?"

"Just that he doesn't think I'm the father of your baby based on a few things that Aaron has said offhandedly while out on cases. I told him that there was no way that was true, but he didn't seem to buy it."

"Great. That's exactly what I need at this point in my pregnancy. Oh god, David, I have so much left to do today, and I'm bringing work home, and I just want to sleep the rest of the day away. I don't think that anything is wrong with the pregnancy, I just think I'm coming down with a summer cold."

"Take another nap, have Helen wake you in forty minutes, and get back to it. I'll run lunch by for all three of us, and should be there just after you get back to work. We'll have a working lunch, and I'll help you get through as much of the backlog as we can until it's time for me to pick up the kids."

"Have I told you that I love you, David Rossi?"

"Not in the last hour, no. But I love you, too, _stellina_. Rest, and we'll work together when I get there." She nodded, and they wrapped up their call before she hung up the phone and padded back over to the sofa, carefully sinking down on it and wrapping herself back up in her blanket before quickly falling back asleep, glad that David would be there soon to help her.


	30. Chapter 30

"Are you certain that you should be here, Erin?"

"I have to be, I told Director Shepperd that I planned on working through November, so that my maternity leave would last through February. I'm fine, just really tired. My back has been aching since yesterday, and I'm blaming it on the fact that the service ran longer than it should have, and pews are not the most comfortable thing to sit in for long periods of time right now. I see that Aaron is absent today, given that Alpha is still here."

"Oh, yes, he's at the hospital with Haley. Their son has finally decided to enter the world."

Erin nodded as she winced, rubbing her stomach absently. "I, I think that you're right, I shouldn't be here," she whispered as she leaned against Helen's desk. "I'm sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I think my water just broke, and it is going to be bitch to clean up." She didn't mean to swear, but a contraction started to roll over her in that moment, and she gripped the edge of her desk in an effort to keep from crying out. "I, I need you to call David, and have him meet me at our hospital, and I have to call Doctor Brunner to let her know that I'm in labor. Last time, it was only five hours from when my water broke until Tabitha was here."

Helen nodded as she came around to help Erin over to one of the chairs in her outer office. "I can do this. And as soon as Dave knows, I'll call an ambulance?"

"No, I need you to drive me. We can take my car, but it's not an emergency."

"Erin, you're a month early! I think that constitutes an emergency."

She shook her head as she pulled out her phone and hurriedly called Doctor Brunner, letting her know that she was on her way to the hospital. As she listened to Helen finish up her conversation with David, Erin absently rubbed her stomach, trying to push back the fear that she felt start to eat at the back of her brain. "You live with her! You should know that you can't order her to do anything! I'll meet you at the hospital with her. I know, but I don't want to kick up a fuss. All right, I will take care with your precious cargo. Good bye."

"Let me guess, he wants you to call an ambulance?"

"Yes, and while I agree with him, you're still my boss, and as long as you feel safe, we'll do things your way."

"Thank you," she murmured as they got to their feet, and she welcomed Helen's hand on her elbow as they awkwardly made their way over to the elevators. As the doors opened, Penelope stepped out, giving her a concerned look as they switched places. "I'll be fine, Penelope. It's just that our little one has decided to grace us with her presence a bit early."

"An entire month, Ma'am! I've been keeping track." Penelope blushed a little at the look Erin shot her before shrugging a little. "I wanted to make certain that everything went well for you and Rossi. I'll stop by the hospital later to check on you and see the baby, if you don't mind?"

"That would be fine, Penelope." She winced as another contraction hit her. "But, we have to go now. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for!" Penelope leaned in and hugged her quickly before scurrying over to the bullpen.

"She certainly is a lot."

"But in the best way." Erin continued to rub her stomach as they made their way over to her car, and she awkwardly climbed inside the passenger side, handing the keys over to Helen and trying to make herself as comfortable as possible as her assistant drove towards the hospital. She had three more contractions during the drive, which put her at ten minutes apart, letting her know that perhaps she had been in labor longer than she had thought, and Erin rubbed her lips together as she silently begged Helen to drive faster, not relishing the idea of giving birth in her car on the side of the road. Finally, though, they arrived, and Helen helped her inside only to have David run up and greet them both, tears in his eyes. "Darling, I'm fine. I've done this three times before."

"The last time I did this, James didn't come home. Forgive me for being worried, _stellina_." She nodded and allowed him to pull her into a tight hug before guiding her over to the check in desk, telling the woman there what was going on. Soon, they were being ushered up to the labor and delivery ward, and Erin gasped a little to see a familiar head disappear into a room down the hall from where their room is. "What is it?"

"I, I think that Aaron and Haley are here, too. I knew that she had gone into labor, but I didn't think that she would be brought to this hospital."

A fresh wave of anxiety washed over her body as she was wheeled into her birthing room, and she turned to look at Helen. "What do you need me to do, Erin?"

"Check and see if I'm right, if Aaron and Haley really are here? And then, come back and let us know before heading back to work, telling Penelope where I am, and getting your office professionally cleaned. Feel free to use my office to finish up your work for the day, and until things are back to normal for you. All right?"

Helen nodded as she turned and scurried from the room as David helped Erin onto the bed. In just a few minutes, she had told the nurse everything that she needed to know while her partner pulled out the nightgown that she had chosen to wear while birthing her daughter, and as soon as the woman was gone, he helped her to change and get settled in the bed. "Do you feel okay?" he asked anxiously as he pulled out her brush and began to run it through her hair. "And I hope you don't mind this. Carolyn found comfort in the motions."

"I will never mind physical affection from you, David," she replied as she scooted forward, allowing him to have room to sit behind her in order to better run the brush through her hair. "If that's really him, you're going to run into him at some point, you know."

"I know, but we'll cross that bridge when we get here, _stellina_." He pressed a tender kiss to the back of her head, and she sighed before groaning as another contraction hit her. "Breathe, Erin, breathe." She nodded and reached back for his hand, gripping it tightly as she tried to breathe through the contraction. "All right, have you settled on her name?"

"Yes, but I'm still not going to say it aloud until she is here, and I hear her cry. I know it's a foolish superstition, but everything about this pregnancy has been cursed. Except for you, you have been the blessing in the mess." Erin leaned back against him as the contraction passed. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Erin." They sighed in unison, and Erin pulled his hand around to rest on her belly. "I am so glad that you allowed me to be part of this journey."

"I can't imagine where I'd be without you." She was going to say more when Helen came back into the room. "Well, what news do you have for us?"

"Your eyes were right, the Hotchners are here. Aaron didn't see me, but I was able to clock where they are on the ward. It looks like they're four doors down from you, so I would be careful when you go out for food or something to drink, sir."

David nodded as he held Erin closer to his chest. "Thank you for looking out for us, Helen."

"As if I could do anything else. I'll head back to the office now, and take care of things there. May, may I hug you?"

Erin gave her assistant a small nod, breathing out deeply as Helen hugged her tightly, rubbing her back softly. "Thank you for looking out for me during these last few months."

"And I'll continue to do so until you retire. If I can be that presumptuous."

"I would never let you go, unless you found a better job." Helen stepped away from her side and gave her a watery smile before waving at them and then leaving her room, closing the door behind her. "I don't know how I managed to find someone as loyal as her, David."

"You were blessed. There is some good that has come out of this pregnancy, so that is what we're going to focus on from here on out, all right?" She nodded and relaxed against his chest, knowing that she would need to conserve her energy for the rest of the labor she would experience in just a few short hours.


	31. Chapter 31

"All right, Erin, one more big push, and then your daughter will be here." Erin nodded as she tried to smile at Doctor Brunner, feeling a bone weary exhaustion gnawing at her body as she bore down and tried to push with all her might. Finally, she felt something shift and change, and she relaxed back against David once more as she watched the doctor guide her baby into the world. Her heart seemed to leap up in her chest as she clutched David's hand tightly, waiting for her to let out that first cry, to let Erin know that she was alive. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as she waited to hear that sweet sound, only for her hand to tighten around David's painfully tight as it didn't come.

" _Stellina_."

"She's not crying, David. Why isn't she crying?"

"It will be all right," Doctor Brunner said as she brought the baby over to waiting scale, blocking her from their view. Erin felt close to tears, and David held her tightly as they a nurse helped her to deliver the placenta. It was as she gave that last final push to expel the placenta that she heard the first soft mewl come from over by Doctor Brunner, and then she did start to sob. "See, we just had to have a little patience, Erin. Let me bring her to you."

She nodded as she watched her doctor wrap the baby up in a clean blanket, bringing her over to their sides and placing her in Erin's arms. "She's so little."

"Four pounds, ten ounces. I knew she was going to be small when you told me you were already in labor, but this is a little concerning. I think that we're going to keep her in the NICU for a week or so to monitor her growth. I know that this isn't the news that you'd like to hear, but we need to make certain that everything is all right with her before she goes home. So, we'll let you have an hour to bond with her, but then she'll be taken up to there."

"All right," Erin replied through her tears, staring down into her daughter's face. "Oh, Elise Grace, why did you decide to come early? We could have waited to meet you for another five weeks or so. But you're so beautiful." She ran her finger along her cheek, smiling when Elise turned her head a little, her mouth opening and closing. Hurriedly, Erin unbuttoned her nightgown with one hand and brought her daughter to her breast, a pleased sigh escaping her lips as Elise latched on and began to suckle.

"Our little Elise," David murmured in her ear, and she nodded as she watched the nurse fill out the requisite information on her birth certificate. "She's going to look like you."

"I hope so. I truly do." She let her head thump back on David's chest as a nurse cleaned away the blood and bodily fluids that came along with birth. "But she has wisps of dark hair, already. Which lends credibility to the fact that you are her father. Will you get out my phone so that I can call Helen?"

"Of course." David slid out from behind her before bending down and giving her a tender kiss. Erin let out a deep sigh to feel his warmth disappear from her, and she scooted back so that she could recline against the stiff headboard of the hospital bed as she continued to feed her daughter. "Dammit, I forgot the camera."

"My phone has a camera, David. Are you still in the dark ages of technology?" He nodded sheepishly. "Give it here." She held out her hand expectantly, and he placed the phone into it. Quickly, she unlocked the device before calling up the camera and then handing it back to him. "There, you can take pictures now."

He nodded as he snapped a few of her and Elise before leaning in and taking a number of just their daughter after she'd finished eating. "May I hold her?" Erin nodded as he took a seat on the bed near her side, and she carefully passed the tiny bundle of baby over to him, watching as he cradled Elise close to his chest, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. Erin took a few pictures of them together before dialing Helen's personal number and waited for her to be connected.

"Erin! I take it that she's here?"

"Yes. Elise Grace Rossi is here and beautiful. Doctor Brunner thinks that she'll have to be in the NICU for a week or two, because she's so small and early, but she's going to be all right. I'll send a few pictures over text in a few minutes. Would you be a dear and let Penelope know, too, that Elise is here?"

"Of course, I'll stop by her office before I head over to your home with your car. I tried to get ahold of Alan, but couldn't, so I'll be staying the night with them and getting them off to school in the morning, since I thought that Dave would probably be spending the night with you."

"You don't have to…"

"I do, Erin. If there is anything that I know about you, it's how much your children mean to you. And if I have to take care of them for an evening, so be it. It can't be that hard, right? And tomorrow, David can bring them by to see their sister, and maybe you'll be released and can head home with them."

"I certainly do hope that is true," she murmured. "I will talk to you soon, Helen, I need to talk with the doctor again. Thank you so much."

"You are most welcome, Erin." They ended the call and Erin smiled tiredly up at Doctor Brunner.

"It's not been our hour yet, Doctor Brunner."

"I know, but I need to recheck her Apgar score, to see where she fits now." Gently, the doctor took Elise from David's arms and brought her over to the bassinet to do her tests. "If you want to dress her, you can. Though you might not have clothing small enough to fit her."

"Do you want me to get out the dress?" She nodded at her partner, watching him go over to their hospital bag and pulling out the romper that Karen and Tabitha had chosen to be Elise's first outfit. It was a dusky rose in color, and while Erin had thought it impossibly tiny at the time, she knew that it would be large on Elise. Tiredly, she watched as he managed to get their daughter into the romper, and she let out a small chuckle to see that she was right, Elise was nearly swallowed in fabric, but that still helped her to look a little more normal, though small. "Hello, Elise. I'm your papa. I know that you were excited to come see us, but you have to grow strong quickly so that you can come home to Mama and me. We love you so much already, little one."

Erin's eyes swam with tears as she watched her partner coo and sing to their child, and she carefully curled up on her side as her eyes drifted closed, allowing sleep to overtake her body as she knew that Elise was in safe hands with her David.


	32. Chapter 32

"I come bearing gifts!" Penelope exclaimed as she walked in the door early the next morning. Erin groaned a little as she turned to look at the woman, seeing that she indeed had a bag in her hands, and she sat up with a small struggle, glancing over to see that David was still sleeping in the recliner. "Oh, sorry, I thought that you both would be up," she said in more hushed tones as she made her way over to Erin's side, carefully taking a seat on the bed as she handed the present over. "I hope that you don't mind, but I only brought this to the hospital, I dropped off the rest last night."

"The rest?" Erin asked as she pulled the bag into her lap, carefully pulling out the tissue paper to reveal an absolutely tiny dress and hat.

"Yeah, I thought that you might need something smaller to bring her home in, when she can come home, but that you'd also need smaller diapers, too. At least until she catches up with full term babies. It's not much, but I left four packs with Helen to put in the nursery, along with a blanket that I knitted for her. I'll have a hat and booties soon, too, but since she's early, I have to scale back a little. And I also bought her the sweetest little teddy bear that I saw at the baby store, I couldn't resist, but I left that at the house, too."

"Why would you be so kind?"

"Because I know that I fucked up when you first found out you were pregnant, and this is just a small way for me to atone for my actions. I should have protected you better, and I didn't. So now I'm trying to make things right. Do you think that I could see her before I head in to work?"

"She's in the NICU."

"I know, Helen told me when I dropped the gifts off last night." Penelope gave her a soft smile as she reached out and patted her leg. "You did so good keeping her growing inside for as long as you did. Like I said, I was keeping tabs, so I know that things could have gone a lot more wrong than they did."

Erin nodded as she burst into tears, looking over at her partner, wishing that he would wake up, but he was still dead to the world. Before she knew it, though, Penelope was pulling her into a tight hug, and she melted into the woman, allowing her to comfort her. "She didn't cry right away."

"Oh, Erin, that must have been so scary. Come on, let's go see her." She nodded as she got control of her emotions, swiping at her eyes as she pulled away from Penelope to slip out of the bed and pad over to the bathroom, pulling on her robe before going to David's side and gently waking him.

"Huh? What?"

"Darling, Penelope has come to visit us, and she wants to see Elise before she heads in to work. Will you please be a dear and take us up to the NICU? I'm still not allowed to walk there on my own yet, not until Doctor Brunner gives me the all clear to leave." He nodded as he got to his feet, the thin blanket that covered him falling to the floor.

"I got it, Erin. Don't bend down," he said as he crouched and grabbed the blanket, dropping it into the chair before threading his arm through hers and guiding her over to the wheelchair by the door. "Are you ready to meet our little princess?"

Penelope nodded as they exited the room and Erin hummed lowly beneath her breath as they started for the nearest elevators, remembering from last night that they would have to pass by Haley's room to reach it, and she stiffened slightly as they got closer to said room. Penelope was chattering away to David, and so neither of them noticed that Aaron was wheeling Haley towards them in an effort to get back to their room, and she struggled not to cry as the younger woman gave her a glare that rivaled some of the ones Erin had used on Aaron and Jason when they had royally fucked up. Glancing up, she saw that Aaron was similarly stone faced, and Erin drew in a deep breath as she raised her chin and tried to act nonplussed as they passed them by, only to deflate the moment they were all in the elevator.

"Is everything all right, Erin?" Penelope asked, finally noticing that something was wrong, and she shrugged a little. "Your face is so white. Are you in pain? Do we need to get you back to your room?"

"No, it, it was just seeing Haley and Aaron coming back from the elevators. It threw me for a loop." She clasped David's hand tightly as they rode up two floors to the NICU, leading Penelope to where their daughter rested. Her nurse was taking her vitals when they approached, and Erin carefully rose from the wheelchair to take the few steps over to the incubator and look down on her daughter. "How is Elise this morning?"

"Hungry, so you came at the perfect time, Erin. If you want to head over to the recliner, I'll bring her to you, and you can hold her for a few hours."

She nodded as she did as directed, beckoning for Penelope to join her. David parked the wheelchair by the door, and then joined them just as the nurse was placing Elise in her arms. "She really is a little bug, isn't she?" Penelope whispered, averting her eyes as Erin unbuttoned her nightgown and then brought Elise to her breast, finding a sense of satisfaction when her baby successfully latched on. This was the fourth time she'd fed her, and each latch had been good, so far, but she knew that that could change. "What was her birth weight again?"

"Four pounds, ten ounces," she replied off-handedly as she stroked Elise's tiny head. "But she's perfectly formed for how tiny she is."

"She really is," Penelope replied as she gazed down at them. "Do you think that I can hold her when she's finished eating?"

Erin glanced over at the nurse, wanting to take her cues from the professional, and nodded as soon as she got the smile and nod from the woman. "Yes. It might take about half an hour, but you are more than welcome to hold her when she's finished. How about you and David get breakfast while you wait? Darling, bring me back a banana and some oatmeal, if it's available."

He nodded as he leaned down and kissed her cheek tenderly. "We'll be back in thirty minutes, Erin." Before he stood, David looked down at their daughter, and let out a little sigh. "Elise is doing better this morning. Look at that little fist wave."

She nodded as she stroked her cheek gently. "She has a name, she has to stay. I am going to pour every ounce of love that I can into her and keep her here. After everything I went through to have her, she can't leave us so quickly." A few tears started to roll down her cheeks, and she smiled sadly when David wiped them away with his handkerchief before he kissed her gently. "Now go, before I just have the two of you stay and do nothing while she eats." He nodded and kissed her again before gesturing towards the door with his head, Penelope giving her a wide smile before they left her alone with the nurse and her baby.


	33. Chapter 33

"You finally get to come home with us, Elise." Erin pressed a soft kiss to her daughter's forehead before placing her in the new carseat that David had purchased for her, since she was still so tiny. Even though it was meant for preemies, Erin still thought that it was swallowing Elise up, and she tried not to shudder as she lifted the carrier and followed David from the NICU. There was a real sense of accomplishment about the fact that Elise was being released a full four days before originally predicted she would. Already, she had gained a full pound, and the heft of her was something glorious to feel in her arms.

"All right, _stellina_ , let's get our little bambina home." She nodded as she cuddled close to his side, taking a look at the promise ring on her finger. "What is it?"

"I think I want to marry you. I know, how romantic," she scoffed as they stepped into the elevator together. "But you've taken on us, you've been here to support me as we waited for Elise to be strong enough to come home, and you've picked up the slack with my other children, allowing me to heal from the birth. You love me. I love you. So, I guess this is my way of asking you to marry me. If you still want to be part of this whole mess."

There was a small pause before he turned to her, reaching out to cup her face as a tender look spread across his features. "I'm supposed to be the one who asks you that question, Erin."

"Yes, well, what about this relationship has been in the least bit orthodox, darling?" He nodded before leaning down to rest his forehead against her. "So, may I become the fourth Mrs. David Rossi?"

"Yes. Well, now I know what you get you for Christmas."

"Oh?"

"Yes, but I won't say a word, since you deserve a surprise or two. Now, I know that the holiday season is fast approaching, and that the kids will want to put up a tree. Except…"

"Yes, David?" she asked as the elevator came to a stop. He said nothing as he led them over to the valet parking stand, handing over his slip to the attendant.

"I don't put up a tree. I don't decorate, beyond a wreath on the door, because that's expected. I don't want to disappoint the children, but that's just not who I am. Or at least, that's not who I am any longer. There was a case that I worked, almost twenty years ago now, and I just came to associate Christmas with death, and I haven't ever been able to shake that. Krystall never really understood my aversion."

Erin snorted through her nose as she glanced down at Elise. "Krystall never really had a sensitive bone in her body. So, no tree, no ostentatious decorations. I can work with that, especially since I don't feel up to really putting my all into that this year. We could get an evergreen swag for the fireplace, and a basket of those delicious smelling cinnamon pine cones, and call it good. Maybe some greenery twisted around the bannister of the stairs. The only thing that truly matters is that we have each other, the rest is just window dressings."

She let out a little squeak of surprise as she was pulled into a tight side hug, kissing her head tenderly. "I will never tire of telling you that I love you, Erin."

"And I love you. Now, about Mass on Christmas Day. I am not about to do a midnight service with a preemie, I'm sorry. Do you think that we could attend another service at another church for one Christmas?"

"You drive a hard bargain, Erin. But I also have the feeling that I won't be up for a midnight service this year, either. I think that the Lutheran church has a Christmas Eve service at six in the evening, and that should be easier to attend as a family."

"Our little family. The children will be with Alan for Christmas Eve, so that we can have them for Christmas Day."

"Oh, that's right," he replied as he opened the back door of the Cadillac, helping her to get the car seat locked into place before giving her a hand up into the car. "I had forgotten about that arrangement in the chaos of Elise's birth. Are you going to be all right with that?"

"I have to be, David. Alan deserves to have them for the holidays, too, I can't be selfish. And, I thought, he could have them for Thanksgiving, too, since there's not really enough time to prepare for a decent meal while taking care of Elise and her challenges." Erin fastened her seatbelt before contorting her body so that she could watch Elise's sleeping face as David drove them home. "My heart will always be torn into pieces because of the divorce, and I deserve that, since I was the one who cheated. But I wouldn't have this sweet blessing." She let out a soft breath as she blinked back tears and reached out to stroke Elise's cheek with the tip of her finger.

"God always does seem to provide a silver lining to the darkest of our times, Erin. When we get home, I want you to head right to the living room, and I'll bring up food for us to share."

"As long as it's full of carbs, I'll be happy," she said as she settled back in the seat and turned her complete focus on her daughter. The rest of the drive was quiet, in the best way, and she began to feel at such peace that she nearly nodded off, only for her to let out a soft gasp to see Helen and Penelope on the stoop of their home. "Somehow, I don't think you'll have to worry about making food, David."

"I believe you're right," he replied as he parked the car. Erin climbed out of the back seat and went over to the other side of the car and gathered Elise up in her arms, carrying her inside and dropping the diaper bag off on the island before making her way to the front door, watching David welcome their visitors inside.

"We're not going to stay long, Erin, but we wanted to make certain that neither of you had to cook today. There's a hot meal for now, and a cold meal for supper, when the kids get home from school. It was the least that we could do to help take care of you and the baby."

"Thank you," she whispered as she welcomed them inside, gesturing towards the kitchen. Elise stirred a little in her arms, and she looked down to watch her as she reached out and waved her little fists around before letting out a loud wail.

"Oh, did we wake her?" Helen asked as she rushed over to Erin's side, looking down at Elise.

She shook her head a little. "No, it's time for her to eat. Did you two make enough for all four of us? You're more than welcome to join us, if there is."

"We don't want to intrude, Erin," Penelope said, and Erin shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"If you know anything about my fiancée, you would know that once she makes up her mind about something, it's going to happen. Stay, I'll get the island set up for the four of us." Penelope nodded and began to help David while Helen rested her hand on Erin's shoulder, a tender smile on her face.

"She's beautiful, Erin, and she's grown so much since she was born. I am so happy for you."

"Thank you, for everything you've done from the moment I first made my mistake. And I hope that you don't mind if I rely on you a little more, once I'm back in the office. I've already told Director Shepperd that you're to be my eyes and ears there until my maternity leave is over. While you won't be expected to do all my work, I know that you'll be able to triage things up to him to take care of or to do what you can. And it won't be a true maternity leave, since I'll be reviewing files once a week. David will pick them up every Friday."

"You can't work with a baby!"

"Countless mothers have, and it would feel weird not to. I'll be taking two weeks off completely for Christmas, but this is the smallest concession I can make. All right?"

"All right," she responded, clearly not entirely happy with Erin's decision, but knowing that she couldn't get her to budge. Erin just nodded a little as she took a seat on one of the stools and unbuttoned her blouse, bringing Elise to her breast so that she could begin to eat while David and Penelope served their food.


	34. Chapter 34

Erin sighed as she looked down at Elise's sleeping face. David had been called away unexpectedly to meet with his publisher, and then to go out researching for his next book, and while she knew that she was a strong, independent, woman, she still missed his help. Especially when her daughter was sleeping, and there was someone at the door. The children were with their father that week, since it was Thanksgiving, which meant that there was no one to watch the baby while she got up. "Please, remain sleeping, little one," she whispered at the Moses basket as she delicately rose to her feet and hurried over to the front door, frowning a little to see the last person she would ever expect to see on their stoop.

"A little birdie told me that you'd be alone for Thanksgiving, due to unforeseen complications with his schedule, and that you probably wouldn't take the time to make a decent meal. It's not much, but I'm alone this year, too, since I don't really know my new team yet, and you're the closest thing that I have to friend in the BAU, and I thought that we could break bread together?"

The hesitancy in her voice told Erin that she was expecting to be rejected, and so she easily reached out her hand to touch her shoulder gently, causing her to look up into her face. "I would enjoy sharing Thanksgiving with you, if you don't mind us praying before the meal." Penelope shook her head and then hefted the bags in her hands as she brushed past Erin to enter the house. "We'll eat in the dining room, like civilized adults. It's right next to the kitchen."

"Got it. I'll get everything set up, if you want to check on Elise, like I know you want to." Erin blushed a little as she nodded and closed the door, locking it before she went to the living room and picked up the Moses basket. It took longer than usual to get to the dining room, since she didn't want to wake Elise, and by the time she got there Penelope had already set the table and placed the dishes on one end. "I even brought non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice for us, since I read that you can't drink while you're breastfeeding."

"You thought of everything," Erin murmured as she took a seat next to Penelope, setting the basket on the floor between them as she scooted her chair closer to the table. "Do you not have any family here in DC, then?" she asked as she served herself from the dishes around her, watching Penelope do the same as she shook her head.

"And the little family I do have never wants to see me again. I'm used to being on my own, but usually I have a few friends to rely on. I think that Derek and I will be friends, eventually, but we haven't reached that point yet. And I know that we're not friends, that you're my boss, and I haven't really done anything to engender trust in you, but I am hopeful that with time you'll be able to see me as an ally, if not a friend."

Erin frowned a little, curious about the woman's statement on her family, and gave her a small nod. "You're right, I don't trust easily, and I don't open up to people unless they're in my inner circle. It is going to take quite a bit for me to learn to trust you, maybe a number of years. But I am willing to work to that point, if that is what you wish. Though you should know that if you decide to be friendly to me, then your burgeoning friendship with Agent Morgan and the rest of Alpha might be hindered, since there is no love lost between myself and Agents Hotchner and Gideon."

"I sort of figured that out from what I've been hearing in the conference room during our briefings. But I don't think that Agent Gideon likes me very much, so my liking you really wouldn't change his opinion of me?"

Erin frowned as she ate, trying to bite her tongue so as not to say anything untoward about Jason in front of Penelope. "If he gives you any trouble, do not hesitate to come to me, and I will deal with the issue. I don't care if there's friction between Jason and myself, since no one truly likes their boss, but you are a vital member of the team, so there cannot be any issues that arise in the cohesion of my teams."

"It's nothing that I can't handle. I promise. But if things do get out of hand, I will come to you. So, um, how awkward is it that your daughter and Hotch's son have the same birthday?"

Erin raised an eyebrow as she shook her head. "I try not to think about that, actually. It is a little more awkward than I would care to dwell on, especially since things between us are so strained." She glanced down to see that Elise was stirring a little in her basket. "I'm just concentrating on making certain my little peanut continues to grow like a weed, which she is currently doing." Setting aside her fork, Erin leaned down and picked Elise up, arranging her in her arms so that she could hold her and continue eating.

"She does look a lot larger now, and it's only been two weeks!"

"She's almost six pounds now, and finally fits into some of the smaller newborn clothing that we have for her." Erin stroked Elise's head gently before letting out a little sigh. "I'm so proud of my little peanut growing so quickly."

"I can only imagine." The rest of the meal was filled with idle chatter, broken only when she had to take a moment to loosen her clothes to feed Elise, covering them with the blanket from the basket before finishing her food. "When she's done eating, may I hold her?"

"Certainly. Leave the plates on the table, I'll take care of them later, if you'll carry the basket back into the living room for me."

Penelope eagerly nodded as she popped to her feet and grabbed the basket, smiling widely at her. Erin's smile softened as she awkwardly rose to her feet, cradling Elise closer to her breast as she fought not to trip. Erin went into the living room, Penelope following after her, setting the Moses basket on the floor between them as she took a seat on the sofa. "Are you going to start decorating for Christmas soon?"

"We're going for a more muted celebration this year, so I'll be shopping for greenery once the children return from school on Monday. Both David and myself don't care for ostentatious displays, and this house is far too elegant to festoon with an overabundance of gaudy decorations." She tried to make it sound entirely like her idea, since she didn't want David to appear to be the stick in the mud. "And it would be difficult to go all out with a preemie baby, anyway. Maybe next year, when we're all more settled, we can decorate a little more, but for now I am completely happy with having a low key holiday season."

"He would hate my apartment, then. After I've finished Black Friday shopping, the decorations are coming out of storage and it is going to look like Christmas threw up all over my place. I've even figured out how to set up my lights so that they'll twinkle along in time to whatever music I'm currently playing. And before you say it, I know that that's a bit over the top, but I'm the only one that sees it, so what's the harm?" Erin nodded as she switched Elise to her other breast, listening to Penelope prattle on about how she was planning to spend Christmas, knowing that the woman was just a little lonely and looking for someone to listen to her.


	35. Chapter 35

"I am finally home, Erin!" David called out and she perked up instantly, turning from the hearth they were currently decorating with the swags of greenery that she had picked up the previous evening. "Where are you all?"

"In the living room, darling!" She looked around the room to see that Bruce was still rocking Elise in the chair while Tabitha was busy cutting tissue paper snowflakes for her windows. There was something so cosy and domestic about this scene, and she wondered if she would have felt the same peace in her heart had Alan not decided that getting a divorce was their best course of action. Shaking her head to clear it of thoughts of what couldn't be, she allowed a wide smile to spread across her face as she watched the doorway for her partner.

The first thing that he did was go over to Bruce's side and take Elise from his arms, one hand pulling a small box out of his pocket and placed it on her dress as he came over to her side. "David?"

"You're the one that asked me to marry you, I'm just delivering on that promise with a new ring to replace the promise ring that you've been wearing for a few months now. And Elise wants to give it to you." She felt tears begin to cloud her vision as she plucked the box from off her daughter's dress and opened it, letting out a short gasp. "Did I choose wrong?"

Erin slowly shook her head as she looked at the ring, the middle diamond far larger than anything she had ever seen in her life, flanked by two large garnets. They were cut in the antique cushion style, and as she plucked the ring from its bed of velvet, she could tell that it was a well loved, well worn, ring. "Whose was this?" she breathed out as she pulled off the promise ring he'd given her months ago, slipping it onto her right hand before sliding the engagement ring into place, finding that it fit perfectly.

"It was my grandmother's engagement ring. I decided to use my necessary business trip to NYC in a productive manner and stopped by Commack to take it out of our family safety deposit box. Since I'm the only son, it was always supposed to go to me, but all three previous Mrs. Rossi's didn't want to wear something so ostentatious. I didn't think that you would have those qualms, especially since it looks so perfect on your hand already."

She held out her left hand to look at the ring there, a silly grin spreading across her features as she used the lighting in the room to catch the facets in it. "I don't deserve anything so fine, but thank you, darling." Erin lifted her face and her partner leaned down to kiss her delicately.

"So, if you two get married, does that mean we can live with you full time?" Tabitha asked as she dropped her scissors and came over to their sides, taking hold of Erin's hand and running her thumb across the ring a number of times. "I mean, since we're going to be a family, and all?"

"I wish that it worked like that, Tabby Cat," David replied as he adjusted how he was holding Elise before reaching out to tousle Tabitha's hair. "My lawyer was able to get us the best custody arrangement that we could, but she is right, you three need to spend time with your dad. I wasn't supposed to say anything, but we were talking about the house you grew up in, and since your mom is here, and she doesn't really need any money from your dad, well, your Christmas gift is to have him move back there. I know that having a familiar place to go back to will help you feel a little more comfortable with all this. Okay?"

Tabitha nodded as she hugged Erin tightly. "I suppose, Papa Dave."

That was a new one to Erin's ears, and she quirked an eyebrow at her partner, who just shrugged a little, giving her a knowing little smirk. "All right, the house looks and smells like Christmas is right around the corner, so I'm going to need you three to start writing up wishlists for me and your mom."

"Now?" Karen asked as she finished tacking up the last of the swag on the mantle.

"Well, soon. I only have three weeks to shop for you all, after all." Karen nodded solemnly as she came over to their side, picking up Erin's hand so that she could look at the ring there. "Do you think I chose well for your mother?"

"I think you did, yes. It's always good to go with a ring that has meaning, rather than something cold and impersonal." Karen gave them each a small smile. "Well, I have some homework to finish, so I'm going to head up and do it." She kissed Erin's cheek before hugging David and then leaving the room, Tabitha following closely at her heels.

"Well, I suppose that I should translate for Karen, Dave. She's happy, but she also doesn't like change. And this has been a lot of change for us all. But we like it here, with you and Mom. She's happier now than she has been in a few years, and I like a happy mom." He came over to their sides and hugged Erin before looking at Elise. "I mean, we even have a sweet baby sister to show for all the changes! And since she doesn't cry too much, I suppose that we can keep her."

Erin giggled as she hugged her son once more. "You do have a way with words, Brucie. Though I hope you follow my footsteps into psychology."

"Maybe, Mom. And do we have a budget limit for things we add to our wishlist? I have a few dream items in mind that I'd love to ask for, even if I know that I won't get them."

"Wishlists are just that, wishes, and there should be no price limit on a wish." Bruce grinned as he nodded before turning and racing upstairs, his feet pounding on the floor as he went. "Let me guess, this is where you're going to tell me that I can't spoil the children?"

"You read my mind, David. We usually gave them one large gift off their wishlist, a few books, a new outfit, and stocking stuffers. And by large gift, I mean something that costs, at the most, three hundred dollars. I don't know what Alan is planning on this year, especially since he has the house now, and they can have two of everything, but I don't foresee him going too overboard with things. At least, I hope. And we are not getting Elise an overabundance of things that will just clutter up her nursery. All right?"

"I suppose I can live with that, Erin." He leaned over and kissed her once more, and she sighed against his lips. "You realise that Christmas Day is when Elise will be six weeks old, right?"

She laughed as she nodded. "Yes, and I am looking forward to that night, too. It will be a sweet Christmas gift that we give to ourselves. Now, I am exhausted from decorating today. I hope that it's not too much?"

"It's perfect, Erin. I knew that you would be able to thread that needle, and you proved that in spades. And maybe, by next year, we can see about getting a small tree." She smiled as she took hold of his free hand and began to lead him over to the staircase, ready to curl up with her partner and fall asleep in his arms.


	36. Chapter 36

Erin had just gotten Elise down to sleep when a sharp rapping at the front door caught her attention. Frowning, she made her way down the rest of the stairs and over to doorway, peeking out the window to see who was there. That frown deepened when she saw that it was Haley Hotchner, and she debated whether to let her inside. "I know you're in there, Erin! I saw the light upstairs just turn off!"

Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and opened it, trying to look every inch the Ice Queen she was called behind her back at work. "May I help you, Mrs. Hotchner?"

"We need to talk."

"We do?" she asked as the woman pushed her way inside, stamping the slush off her boots as she thrust a baby carrier in Erin's general direction. Acting on pure instinct, she took hold of it and looked down into the chubby, angelic, face of the Hotchner baby, a tender smile flitting across her features before she schooled them into a cool mask once more. "I will thank you to be quiet. Elise has just gone down for her nap, and I don't want her woken up."

Desperately, she wished that David was there to act as a buffer, but he had been called away back to New York in order to have some pictures taken for the dust jacket of his new book. And she had chosen a time when the children were at school, which meant that there would be no interruptions from them, either. "Oh, I know how to keep my voice down, believe me. I like it when Jack naps, too, and won't do anything to disturb him during those times. But Elise is exactly who I came here to discuss."

A sinking feeling filled the pit of Erin's stomach, and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down as she showed Haley into the living room, knowing that it would most likely be far enough away to not bother Elise should their voices get loud. "Does Aaron know that you're here?" she asked as she sank down into the wing back chair that she had claimed for her own when she wasn't on the sofa. She looked down her nose at Haley, trying to appear unruffled as Haley took a seat on the sofa, setting the baby carrier down at her feet.

"Aaron is away on a case, so what do you think, Erin?"

"I think that you've chosen a course of action that is less than wise, Mrs. Hotchner. What name did you end up with for your son?"

That question seemed to throw her off her game, and she blinked owlishly before replying. "We settled on Jack, even though Aaron didn't like it because of the connection to Jack the Ripper. I reminded him that not everyone hunts serial killers like he does every day, and so no one would make that connection outside the BAU."

Erin nodded a little. "Jack is a good name, and I think that you're right in this case. Unless you're a death enthusiast, there won't be that connotation." Haley dipped her chin, as if not quite willing to concede that Erin had agreed with her. Still, it was nice to see her shoulders relax a little as she glanced down at Jack, rocking his car seat a little with her foot.

"You need to tell me the truth, though, Erin. It won't go beyond these four walls, but I have to know for my own peace of mind. Aaron keeps telling me that Dave is her father, but there's this hesitancy about the way he says it, as if he's trying to convince himself of the lie. So, tell me the truth, Erin. Who is Elise's father?"

She blanched and swallowed thickly as she focused her attention on Jack. "The truth is that David's name is on Elise's birth certificate as her father. There's nothing else that I can tell you. What happened between Aaron and myself was a mistake that we both made in the heat of the moment, and had we both not been drunk, one of us would have chosen differently."

"And were you really having an affair with Dave at the same time? Remember, he's close friends with Aaron, and we never had the slightest clue that he was in a relationship with anyone."

"Well, we wanted to keep things quiet, since I was having that affair. I did cheat on my husband, and there is nothing in the world that will ever make that right, even as we did finalise our divorce last week. In Virginia, you can fast track things if you can prove infidelity, and nothing screams that quite so much as a baby born after the husband has had a vasectomy."

"Did you do a paternity test?"

She should have known that Haley would jump on that opening she had provided, but it still was a bit of a shock to her. Blinking a few times, she cleared her throat before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. "There was no need to do so, since Alan could prove that he had his vasectomy. My easy ways caught up to me, and while there's nothing that I can do to fix the situation, between all of us, I at least have my little tagalong miracle."

Haley cocked her head to one side as she stared at Erin. For a moment, it felt like she could read every lie on Erin's face, and she tried to school her features into a mask that concealed everything about what she was feeling. The other woman wasn't buying it though, and Erin licked her lips nervously as she fidgeted with her skirt, trying to think of how to answer her next question. "You're not as good of a liar as you think you are, Erin. There's too much guilt in your eyes to even start to be masked by a hard look. I promise, I won't tell Aaron the truth that he seems to be buying from you and Dave, but mother to mother, let me know. Did my husband father your child?"

The raw pain in Haley's voice caused Erin to tear up, and she tried to surreptitiously swipe away the first drops that started to roll down her cheeks, only for Haley to frown at her. "I need to protect my Elise, you have to understand that. She is the only thing that matters in this quagmire that seems to have sprung up between us all. Well, her and Jack. They're the innocents here. Please, tell me that you understand that."

"I think that I do, Erin."

"I did not start a physical relationship with David until after Alan and I were separated. But he was the first person that I thought of to contact when I did find out I was carrying Aaron's baby, since he is such close friends with your husband. He told me that he would always support me, no matter my choice. And I chose Elise. And so, he chose us, and is Elise's father. That is the way it will always be, I hope you understand. I need it to be that way, to protect her."

Haley looked down at Jack, tears of her own slipping down her face as she nodded. "I do think I have a better understanding for coming here. Thank you for your candor with me. Do, do you think I could see her before we leave?"

"Of course. Follow me." Erin rose to her feet and beckoned for Haley to follow her up to the nursery, knowing that it was almost time to feed her anyway, so it wouldn't matter if they woke her up at this point. Opening the nursery door, Erin drew in a deep breath and stepped inside, heading over to the crib and lifting her up. "Here she is," she breathed out as she took a seat in the rocking chair.

"She's tiny."

"She's a lot bigger than when she was born. My delicate little doll of a baby." Haley nodded as she set Jack's carrier onto the floor and knelt down to look at Elise closely. "I know that you can't ever forgive me for what happened…"

"You were drunk, my husband was drunk, neither of you could give consent, so it's not like it was done on purpose. But you and David created a beautiful daughter." Their eyes met, and Erin nodded, smiling through her tears as the implications of those words settled onto her heart, letting her know that maybe, just maybe, everything would be all right.


	37. Chapter 37

Erin had been surprised at how well Elise had done during the Christmas Eve service. It felt odd to be in a different church for something so intimate, but the warm reception that they had received helped to soothe her heart immensely. And even though they had gone to an early service, she still had had to fight to keep her eyes open, cuddling in close to David as she listened to the message presented and tried to sing along with the songs. His arm around her shoulders had helped to keep her propped up, and it had been so easy to snuggle in close to him as the familiar, warm, feeling of Christmas joy wended its way through her body.

And then, it was time to go, and they stood, making small talk with the others who came up to them. She knew that it was the polite thing to do, but in reality, all she wanted to do was get home and curl up on the sofa to watch a holiday movie with her fiancé. David finally seemed to get the hint, as he made his apologies to the woman he was currently talking to, sliding his arm around Erin's waist and guiding her from sanctuary and out to their car, easily settling Elise into her carseat while Erin slipped into the passenger seat and buckled her belt before curling up as best she could and closing her eyes, giving in to the need for sleep as David drove towards home.

"Wake up, _stellina_ ," he murmured some time later, and she sat up and stretched as best she could in the cramped car. "I didn't want to wake you, my sweet sleeping beauty. But there's a package on the front porch, and I know that I didn't order anything, and Helen dropped off her gifts yesterday before heading home for the holiday."

"That's right, she went to Nova Scotia to be with her wife's family this year. Did you bring the package inside?"

"No, I just got Elise down in the crib before coming back out to check on you. And before you protest, I have the monitor in my hand, so I can head right back upstairs in case she starts to cry. But I think that she is down for the night, since she's been a great sleeper." Erin nodded as she slowly climbed out of the car, cracking her back as soon as she was standing before taking hold of David's hand and following him into the house. The first thing he did was head to the front door, unlocking it and picking up the thin rectangular package that was resting against the wall.

"Whose name is on it?"

David looked it over to find the tag, and frowned a little when he finally found it. "There isn't a sender, but it says that it's for Elise. And it's far too light to be something bad." She nodded as he closed the door and brought them into the living room. "Do you want me to open it?"

"No, I think that I will," she replied as she tugged the present into her lap after taking a seat on the sofa. A part of her wanted to just rip off the paper, but there was something so lovely about it that she decided to take her time and slide her thumbnail beneath each piece of tape and slicing it open before peeling the paper away from the box and then cutting the four pieces of tape that sealed the box and pulling the lid off. Erin felt her breath stolen away when she saw what was resting beneath the tissue paper. "This is gorgeous." Her voice was so quiet as she lifted the lace festooned christening gown out of the box, pocketing the piece of paper that fell out of the folds of fabric as she spread the dress out over her legs. "Are you certain that it isn't a gift from one of your sisters?"

"That is clearly a family heirloom, and that looks nothing like ours does. I was going to send for that later, when we had finally settled on a christening date, but it looks like we won't need to do so now. But I wonder who sent it?"

Erin had her suspicions, but couldn't say anything until she had looked at the note that had been included to see if she was right. "Well, whoever it was, this is a wonderful gift. Why don't you bring it up to the nursery while I choose something for us to watch? I just don't feel like moving, now that I'm comfortable here." She gave him a little smile, watching him nod a little as he rose to his feet before taking the christening gown from her hands and leaving the room.

Once he was gone, she unfolded the piece of paper, looking at the bottom to see if the note was signed, a disappointed sigh slipping from her lips when she saw that it wasn't. _I hope that you enjoy using this christening gown for Elise. Our little one is too large to fit into it, so I'm hoping that her smallness will mean that she'll fit into it. And I know that you'll want to return it, and maybe if we have another child, I'll ask for it back, but I don't think that my husband will notice that it's gone. Have a merry Christmas._

From the words written, Erin thought that it was most likely Haley who had given them this gift, but she would never know for certain. Folding the paper once more, Erin slipped it into her purse before picking up the remote and searching for something to watch with him, finally settling on _White Christmas_. It was one of her favorite Christmas movies, and she hoped that David would humor her if he didn't care for it. Pulling down the blanket from the back of the sofa, she wrapped herself up in it as she settled in to watch and wait for him.

"Oh, good, you've picked my favorite Christmas movie," he said as he came back into the living room. After sitting down next to her, David pulled her close to his side, and she brought her head to rest on his chest. "Are you going to fall asleep on me?"

"Maybe for a little bit. I'll need to rest, after all, if we want to celebrate our first Christmas together the proper way. It has been six weeks since Elise was born, after all."

"Oh, I haven't forgotten that, Erin." He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, his hand slipping down to cup her breast. "I cannot wait to worship your body, since it feels like I haven't properly been able to do that."

She nodded a little as she snuggled closer to him. "That will be nice, darling, but the commercials are over now, so we should concentrate on the film." A low chuckle was his only response, but then she felt his hand slide lower down her body until he had reached the hem of her sweater, and Erin shifted a little, allowing him to shift it so that he could slip his hand upwards beneath the fabric, spreading his hand out on her stomach, his thumb rubbing back and forth as they settled in, relaxing her into a little sleep as she listened to the familiar words of the movie.


	38. Chapter 38

Erin absently picked at an invisible piece of lint on Elise's christening gown. She didn't know why she was so nervous about this, but there was a sense of unease about that morning, even though there was no one who could possibly interrupt this ceremony. The only people she had told from work were Penelope and Helen, since they had both insisted that they wanted to know and be there to support her and Elise, and she knew that neither would say anything, especially since she had impressed upon Penelope that no one else was to know about the christening.

Taking a deep breath, she cradled Elise closer to her chest as she waited for the service to come to an end, knowing that there would still be a fifteen minute wait for the rest of the congregants to leave before their ceremony would start. Finally, it was time to receive the final blessing, and she stood with David and her children to repeat the now familiar words. As everyone filed out of the sanctuary, she sat back down and discreetly covered her chest in order to feed Elise, who had started to get fussy. "Do you think that she'll be finished in time for the christening to start?" Tabitha asked as she plopped down next to them, resting her head on Erin's shoulder as she played with the fabric of her skirt.

"That is the hope, especially since she usually only eats for ten minutes at a time." Erin leaned her head to rest against Tabitha's as she rubbed Elise's back in gentle circles. "I know that this is supposed to be your father's week with you, so I'm glad that he relented to have you join us, since this was the only date that would work with the priest."

"Karen told Dad that it was important that we be here for our sister. Even if he doesn't like to be reminded of her existence." Erin sighed as she nodded, wishing that she had been able to better smooth things over with Alan. He had seemed so calm when announcing their divorce, but it was clear that there were more issues than what he had let on, from the way that things had so quickly deteriorated between them. "But we're trying to get him to come around, slowly and surely. Karen says that's the way to go about things, since it's easier to get your way with small deeds."

"Your sister is very smart," Erin murmured as Elise let go of her nipple. Righting her clothing once more, Erin removed her from beneath the cloth before settling her baby onto her shoulder and burping her, smiling a little at the delicate belch she let out. It seemed that everything about this baby she and Aaron had created was delicate and ladylike, and that made her love Elise all the fiercer. She just wished that her hair had lightened after her birth, rather than darkening to a brunette so deep it was almost black, just like Aaron's hair. But she had Erin's eyes and facial features, which was enough to help lend credence to the idea that David was her biological father.

"All right, Erin, if you want to follow me up to the front, it looks like everyone's cleared out." She looked up into David's face and gave him a small nod as she whisked the cloth across Elise's face, removing the remaining traces of milk before getting to her feet and following him down the aisle, the children and their guests following close behind. "She fits into that christening gown so well. I still wish we knew who gave it to us, so that we could thank them."

"I do, too," she murmured as she gazed down into Elise's face. There was something so lovely about having her there, close to her heart, and she loathed the fact that she would have to return to work in three weeks, since that was when her maternity leave ran out. "I want to stay with her forever, but I know that I have to get back to work."

"I know, but that was why I convinced my agent to let me push back the book tour for a few months. That way, we don't have to put her in daycare right away. Or hire a nanny."

"I never had a nanny for the older kids, I don't want to have one now," she replied hotly, listening to Penelope and Helen chuckle behind them. Turning her head to give them a look, her attention was caught by a blonde figure in the back of the church. She frowned as she tried to focus on the face of the woman, only to gasp a little when she recognized her as Haley Hotchner. "Here, David, hold Elise for a moment." She delicately pushed her baby into his arms before taking hold of Penelope's upper arm and roughly pulling her over to the side of the dais.

"What's wrong, ma'am?" she asked, giving her a hurt, confused, look.

"I thought I made you promise not to tell anyone about the christening," Erin hissed as she stared into Penelope's eyes. They were quickly swimming with tears, which was the last thing she wanted, but she didn't know if she could dial back her ire in that moment. "I wanted this to be a private affair between my family and the few friends that I asked to be here."

"I didn't say a word, I promise!"

"Then why is Haley Hotchner here?"

Penelope glanced back to look at the woman and shook her head. "I swear to God, Erin, I did not tell a soul. I knew how much this privacy meant to you."

"Mom, she's right, she didn't tell anyone. I did. A nice lady called the other day while you were napping with Elise, and asked if the christening had happened yet. I thought it was one of your work friends, so I thought nothing about telling her that it was happening today. Don't be mad at Penelope, it's not her fault."

Her shoulders sagged as she nodded, ruffling Karen's hair lightly before turning her eyes back to Penelope. "I'm so sorry, Penelope. I'm just a little jumpy about certain things still, even after all these months."

"It's all right, Erin. I get it, I wasn't the most tight lipped when we first met, so it is hard to trust me. Though I wouldn't say no to a hug as a way to cement that apology?"

Erin let out a little laugh through her nose as she nodded, allowing the younger woman to pull her into a tight embrace before leading her back to David's side. She knew that she would have to explain why she had reacted so strongly to Karen, probably as soon as they were home, but she would worry about that when it came, knowing that she had to focus on the christening ceremony. David gave her a quizzical look, and she shook her head a little as she took Elise back from his arms and cuddled her close to her chest as she allowed him to slip his arm around her waist to hold her against his chest. "Is everything all right?" he whispered in her ear, and she gave him a sharp nod.

"It will be, I just overreacted to something that I shouldn't have. And I can't even blame the hormones on this one, since I'm not pregnant. I'll tell you more once we're home." He kissed the side of her head as his hand squeezed her side, and Erin let out a soft sigh as she watched the priest approach them, knowing that this moment would live on in her heart forever.


	39. Chapter 39

Erin has almost gotten back into the routine that she had established before she had given birth to Elise, only for Max Ryan to show up and throw a spanner into the whole works. She had known that as soon as he had gotten involved, everything would go to hell, and it seemed that that was exactly what had happened. She had been willing to give the team some leeway after the prison interview that had not gone as planned, even when the parents of an unrelated child had called to complain about finding the FBI on their doorstep late at night, when they had no true reason for being there. She had read the case file that Aaron had put together before that call and understood what had happened, even if she hadn't liked it.

But that had been a month ago, and while Elise brought her such joy, it seemed like Alpha team was only going to bring her grief. Sighing, she looked at the new picture of their family that David had taken, Karen holding Elise as they all smiled for the camera, and shook her head. There were days when she just didn't know what to do with Aaron and Jason. The others were doing so well, even Doctor Reid was starting to feel like he truly belonged in the FBI, and didn't quite look so much like a child playacting with the adults. And Agent Greenaway was able to give back to Jason everything that he dished out, or so she gathered from reading between the lines of the reports that Aaron wrote about the cases they closed.

Which all circled back to this current case and how everything was quickly going to hell. Agent Greenaway had already called her office once, informing Erin that she didn't appreciate being treated like she was little more than an overglorified secretary and that she was tired of not having her thoughts and opinions listened to. By the end of call, she was ready to storm up to Philadelphia herself and take control of the case, even if her fieldwork experience was woefully lacking. Instead, she took a deep breath and looked up Aaron's mobile number in her contacts and dialed it, hoping that he wouldn't be openly hostile when he picked up the phone, that she could keep her own ire in check long enough to have a decent conversation with the man.

"We're in the middle of a case, Erin," he answered with no preamble, and she bristled at the tone he took. "Please tell me that this is something important?"

"I have been hearing some rather disconcerting things about Max Ryan not taking direction from you. He does know that he is no longer with the BAU, and that he was only asked to participate as a courtesy?" Her voice was cold, and she knew that would only further cement her reputation as the Ice Queen when he relayed the conversation to Jason. Still, it was that or bite his head off, and she thought better to be thought cold than angry and bitter.

"Everything is fine, Erin. We don't need you to check up on us like we're toddlers."

She blew out a long breath through her nose as she pinched the bridge, trying to keep from just snapping back something that would get them nowhere. "I am just asking that you consider everyone on your team while dealing with Max. I remember what it was like to work with him, and while you might still harbor feelings of hero worship for the man, there was no love lost between us, or any of his other female coworkers. So, just keep that in mind as you work this case. You, Aaron, are the unit chief, and as such, you set the tone for the team. Do your job and lead them, do not allow Max Ryan to lead you around by a string tied around your balls."

Erin didn't know what possessed her to say such a crude thing, but she knew that she had lost her point by doing so, and she buried her face in her hand as she awaited his reply. "I highly doubt that that's what's happening here, Erin, but I'll be certain to keep that in mind. Now, if there's nothing else, I really need to get back to the case."

"You do that, Aaron," she bit out, hanging up before he could say another word and then bringing her other hand up to her face, rubbing it harshly in an effort to completely forget about that conversation. She had hoped that their relationship might start to get on a better footing, but that little conversation proved that they were far away from that lofty goal. "Helen! I need you to run and get me something sweet from somewhere. Please!" she called out through her open door before getting up from her desk and stalking over to her sofa, closing the door with a loud thud before collapsing on the comfortable surface and hurriedly dialing their home number, knowing that even if he didn't answer her, he'd call back when he was available.

"Erin! Is everything all right?" he answered on the fourth ring, sounding slightly out of breath, which told her that he had been upstairs in the nursery with Elise. " _Stellina_?"

"I…I just allowed Aaron to get beneath my skin and said something crass that I shouldn't have, and now I feel like we're ten paces back from where we were just a few weeks ago. I had thought that we were getting somewhere, since he was talking to me like before I fell pregnant. And then today."

"What happened?"

"Max Ryan happened. Agent Greenaway contacted me with some concerns, and I thought that I should take those concerns to Aaron, since he would be more prone to listen to me than to one of his agents. He was defensive from the moment he answered my call, and I dished that attitude right back out to him before finally telling him that he was allowing Ryan to lead him around by a string tied to his balls."

David chuckled loudly, causing Erin to roll her eyes and let out her second huff of breath that morning. "Oh to have been there to see Aaron's face when you told him that! You could always blame it on lack of sleep, since Elise is doing her best to start teething early."

"There is that, but that would never fly. I need to be in better control of my emotions, especially if I'm supposed to be a good leader. And that's all that I want, David. I know that the Director is keeping a closer eye on Alpha team, since Jason is not well, no matter how much he tries to pretend like he is, and Agent Greenaway is still rough around the edges for all her eagerness. Right now the team works well together, but it would only take one small incident to change everything about that careful balance. And since I have Elise to think about, I can't have another worry on my plate."

"That's why I'm here, Erin. To help take care of you and our family. You know, I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"You called me to talk rather than shutting down and burying those feelings inside. I know that you're good at that, since you're a lone wolf. Just like Jason and myself. I've been trying to learn how to reach out since I left the BAU, but you drew into yourself. That was the one thing that Aaron told me about you when we talked, how you were so solitary and aloof."

"Yes, well, you and Helen are the only two people that I trust enough to let in and see the true me. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding me, and just letting me talk it out. And you're right about Elise teething. I can feel one of her molars starting to come in, and thank God its that, rather than an incisor. Breastfeeding becomes that much more painful when a baby has teeth to bite with." She massaged her upper chest a little before sighing. "Are you bringing her to the café so that we can have lunch together while I feed her? I still can't believe that I slept in so late and didn't have time to pump."

"That is still the plan. I will see you in three hours."

"Until then, I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied, and she sighed a little as they ended their conversation, feeling all the better for having confided in David. This was what she had hoped would be her life with Alan, but she was finding it with the person she had least expected to have a relationship with. Yet God, despite her sin, had seen fit to give her what her heart needed to heal after the disaster she had nearly made of her life, and she was most grateful for that consideration.


	40. Chapter 40

Erin had been pleased to sign off on the two week annual leave for Alpha team, since that meant she wouldn't have to worry about seeing Aaron in the halls. Ever since their little run in during the Max Ryan case, she hadn't seemed to find a way to scale back the tension between them. She knew that the tension wasn't good for her system, that it would affect her milk supply, but no matter how much she tried to hold out a tiny olive branch of peace, Aaron rebuffed it every time. And everything would have gone fine, had some maniac not decided that it would be a good idea to taunt and goad the team into action.

It had been bad enough that she had had to send Aaron to Jamaica in order to ease tensions there and prove that Agent Greenaway hadn't murdered a man while on leave, but then things had just seemed to devolve further and further as Doctor Reid's mother had been flown in from Las Vegas for her input, and it all was spiraling out of control far too much for her liking. Shaking her head a little, Erin got to her feet, needing to use the bathroom before she pumped the excess milk from her aching breasts.

As she took care of her needs, Erin thought about how quickly Elise was growing, that she had been theirs for seven months already, and was blessing them more and more every day. Blinking back sudden tears, Erin took a deep breath before flushing and then washing her hands at the sink. "You're getting soft, Erin Strauss," she said to her reflection before drying her hands and heading back into the hallway.

Just as she was about to turn into her office, she saw a stroller emerge from the elevator, and Erin frowned a little as she made her way over, wanting to see what new part of the three way circus had joined this case. Haley gave her a small smile as she stepped out, and Erin nodded as she came over to her side. "I hate that I have to bring Jack into this place, but Jessica was busy, so I couldn't leave him with her."

Erin nodded as she looked down into the stroller at Jack's sleeping face. "I understand. I have David bring Elise to the café nearby when I forget to pump, since I don't want her exposed to the atmosphere. I didn't expect myself to be so…superstitious, I suppose, with her infancy, but since she came early, I've been overprotective."

"I completely understand. There are times when I just want to wrap Jack up in a bubble and never let him leave. How, how is Elise's health?"

It seemed as if Haley was asking a question that couldn't be asked, and Erin smiled a little. "She's growing like a weed and already has three teeth, though thankfully only one molar. Is there something that I should know about?"

Haley went to say something more when Aaron came over to their sides, a glower on his face. Erin stiffened as her face became a blank mask, not wanting to give anything away to him. "You said that you had a weird encounter with a delivery man?" he asked, leading her away from Erin's side. She tried not to frown when he looked back at her, narrowing his eyes a little at her. Letting out a long breath, she shook her head and turned to head back to her office. It had been nice to connect with the woman once more, since it seemed like they would always be at sixes and sevens with each other, but that outreach, coupled with the christening gown, had indicated that perhaps she was trying to amend for her previous deeds.

Keeping her chin high, she entered her office, noticing that Helen gave her a quizzical look, which she tried to quell with a small shake of her head. She knew it hadn't worked when not thirty seconds later, her assistant was following her into her inner sanctum, closing the door behind her. "What happened? I know that this case Agent Hotchner's team is currently working isn't going quite as smoothly as we'd like, but you seem to be a little more perturbed than upset."

"I had a bit of a run in with Haley and Aaron. And it seemed like I was finally going to start making in roads with the woman, as she was actually open to me for the first time since Elise's birth. And before you ask, I do not know why her opinion matters to me, but I have this gut feeling that I need to make the effort to be kind to her, at the very least. And I've learned over the years not to discount those feelings, since it's been my downfall every time."

"I don't judge you for wanting to be nice to her, actually. You're going to need an open, neutral, relationship with her in case any health complications happen with Elise. I know that you probably already know that, but it's a good thing to keep in mind."

Erin nodded as she sank down into her chair, rubbing her hand over her face as she thought about what she was going to do. Haley had mentioned something about Jack's health, but hadn't been able to finish her thought before Aaron shut down any line of communication between them, and she didn't want to intrude by calling the woman at home, just in case Aaron answered. That would be awkward, indeed. "You are entirely right, Helen. I just need to first find a way to defuse the tension between myself and Aaron. Along with trying to keep things calm with Director Shepperd. I've heard the rumors that he's thinking about breaking up Alpha team, and this latest case does nothing to ease my misgivings about what's going to happen."

Helen nodded, looking like she was going to say something when a frantic knocking interrupted their conversation. "I'll go see who it is."

Erin nodded as she watched her assistant go over to the door, cracking up open to peer outside. "I need to talk to Chief Strauss, please, Helen."

Penelope's voice was sadder than she had ever heard it before, and Erin frowned as she gave a small nod to Helen, watching as she opened the door fully to the woman before heading to the outer office. "What's wrong?" she asked as she indicated for Penelope to take a seat in front of her desk.

"Everything? I don't know if I'm cut out for this job, Chief Strauss. Gideon thinks I'm stupid, I fucked up by allowing this unsub to gain access to our personal information, and everything just seems to be falling apart and I can't do a thing right. Hotch and Derek are talking to Haley right now, and they don't need me. Jayje is doing her job beautifully, and Reid just seems to be in his element. And then there's me. I don't fit in, and I don't think that I ever will."

Erin frowned as she leaned forward, trying to catch Penelope's eye. When she wouldn't look up at her, Erin smacked her hand against her desk, watching Penelope jump a little without glancing up. "Look at me, Penelope." Finally, she looked up, and Erin tried to temper her look into something resembling encouragement. "You might not fit the typical look of an FBI analyst, true. But in the year that you've been here, you have made your own place, and you fit the role that you needed to fill. Never let me hear you disparage yourself like this again. This case is a cluster, and no one has clean hands. What I need you to do is regroup, refocus, and be the brilliant technical analyst that I know you are. Do I make myself clear?"

While her words were a little too harsh to be considered a pep talk, from the tremulous smile that spread across Penelope's face, she knew that she had managed to lift the woman's spirits. "All right. Thank you. Maybe that's all I needed to hear about this. And I mean, it can't get worse, can it?" Erin shook her head, unable to immediately come up with a situation that would be worse than what was currently going on. "I'm back at it, then. And hopefully, we'll solve this case sooner rather than later." Penelope got to her feet and left her office with a peppier step than she had entered with, and Erin let out a long breath, glad to have at least put out one fire today.


	41. Chapter 41

Erin snorted when she thought about how wrong she and Penelope had been when it came to things getting worse during the Fisher King case. Agent Greenaway had ended up shot and nearly died on the operating table, and that news had Erin immediately thinking back to the Bale case when Alpha team had lost Benjamin. Another loss, eighteen months after the first one, would have been extremely devastating to the team, and they might not recover from it this time. She had noticed the way that the shooting had marked the others, though, especially Jason, and knew that there would be a fire that she would have to put out sooner rather than later. She couldn't overlook the rumblings coming from above that the ice her main team was walking on was thinner than ever.

Sighing deeply, she pushed away from her desk and picked up her phone, calling David to talk, since she didn't have any work to focus on at the moment. He picked up at the second ring, and a tired smile spread across her lips when she heard his voice. "Hello, Erin."

"David, it is so good to hear your voice. And before you tell me something about the fact that we just saw each other four hours ago, I know that. I just came out of a two hour meeting with the Director, though, and I needed to hear your voice telling me that everything is going to be all right."

"Do you want me to bring Elise and have lunch with you?"

"Oh, would you?"

"All you had to do was ask, _stellina_. We'll be there in forty."

"Thank you. Though if you want to take a little longer and pick up that delicious Monte Cristo from the deli I love, I would be perfectly fine with that, too." She listened to him chuckle, finding her heart lifting at the sound. "And this will give us the opportunity to discuss what we want to do for Elise's first birthday. I'd like to have my parents there, and to be able to meet your sisters."

"We'll talk about that when we get there, Erin."

She laughed a little as she nodded. "I suppose that I can wait until then. But hurry?"

"I'll go as fast as the speed limit and the line at the deli allows. See you soon."

Erin kissed into the phone before hanging up and pulling the report on Agent Greenaway's current mental status. She had some misgivings about her returning back to work so soon, but Aaron had made the case that it had been four months since her being released from the hospital and that she was strong enough now to at least be on desk duty. It was clear that he wanted her to feel like she was still a vibrant member of the team, and a part of her agreed with him, even if she did have misgivings about the assessment. Every member of the BAU knew the right answer to give to psych evaluations, and to use the psychiatrist in a way that would get them the results they wanted. She knew that that was how Jason had returned after his six month leave, and was the reason why she was still keeping an eye on him. Letting out a little sigh, she returned to her work, losing herself in it.

David cleared his throat loudly, getting her attention some time later, and she looked up quickly to smile at him. "That didn't take too long."

"It's been an hour, traffic was a little heavy around the deli." She nodded as she got to her feet and reached out for Elise. Her daughter snuggled in close to her side, and Erin pressed a soft kiss to her cheek as she rubbed her back. "How are things here?"

"Frustrating. I find myself having to keep a closer eye on Alpha, because Director Shepperd has already hinted that there could be trouble down the line if there are any more incidents." She held Elise closer to her chest as she let out a sigh, making her way over to the table where David was setting out their food. "Did Aaron see you?"

"No, Helen played lookout for us, and we managed to sneak in here unseen. I'll use her again to make my exit. But are you really certain that you want to continue keeping the truth from him?"

"Given the state of things between us at this moment, I really don't want to rock that boat. Maybe one day it will feel right to come clean. Even if I do feel a little guilty about this."

"That's why I asked, Erin. I can see the way the guilt eats at you, and I just don't want you to start making rash decisions as a result." She leaned over and kissed his cheek tenderly before taking a seat and balancing Elise on her thigh as she picked up her coffee with her free hand and took a sip. "I hope I got that right. I know that you have a special order from the coffee shop, but…"

"You drink your coffee as black as your soul?" she teased. He nodded and gave her a cheeky wink before taking a drink of his own coffee. "Though you should be drinking straight milk if that were the case. Because you've been so good for me. For us." Erin blinked back tears as she picked up her sandwich and took a bite before dipping it in the raspberry preserves and taking another bite. As they ate, she and David started to make plans for Elise's party, and she found herself becoming more and more relaxed now that she had her partner and baby with her.

"You seem a lot more at ease now," he murmured as he brought out a large cupcake, cutting it in half with a knife before handing a fork over to her. "I like it when you're this way."

"I like it to be this way, too. But there's just so much pressure coming from all sides to be perfect, and I think that Alpha team is not going to like the way I'll have to be cracking down quite soon. They get good results, but that's not everything." She took the fork from his hand and flaked off a large bite. "This is heaven in a sweet."

"Yeah, the clerk reminded me that you love that flavor, so I added it to our order. I thought that if we shared, it wouldn't be quite so decadent."

"True, yes. These are the best treat, even after a heavy sandwich like I just had."

A soft knocking at the door caused her to look over, and she smiled at her assistant, beckoning her inside. "I just wanted to let David know that Agent Hotchner has just returned from his lunch. I'm assuming that he'll be headed right up to his office, which means that you have a window of about twenty minutes to get out of here unseen."

"Thanks, Helen. Did you want to see how big Elise has gotten?" Erin said as she beckoned her assistant over to their sides. She nodded and scurried over to them, a wide grin on her face. Elise started to babble away at the woman, reaching out her pudgy little hands to tap at her face, and Erin laughed a little to see her daughter play, glad that she had the support of her assistant in keeping Elise safe and away from Aaron's notice.


	42. Chapter 42

Erin's cellphone rang in the middle of the night, waking her from a dead sleep. Groaning a little, she rolled onto her side and picked it up, not bothering to look at the display, since she knew her eyes wouldn't focus on it properly anyway. "Hello?" she said as she sat up and leaned against the headboard, reaching out her free hand to run her fingers through David's hair. He let out his own groan as he turned towards her and slung his arm across her lap, snuggling in close to her without waking.

"There's been an incident, Erin."

The sound of Aaron's voice was like a splash of cold water on her senses, and she cleared her throat in an effort to wake David up. He frowned deeply, causing her to roll her eyes as she tugged on his hair none too gently. "What sort of incident?" she finally bit out, fearing the worst.

"The sort where I've already taken the initiative and suspended Agent Greenaway until she undergoes a complete and thorough psych evaluation. Did you have the chance to overlook the case before we left for Dayton?"

She nodded as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "This was the serial rapist case, yes?"

"That's correct," Aaron replied as David finally woke, sitting up against the headboard as he looked at her. Erin shook her head a little, not knowing the full story yet, just that it was going to be bad enough to send her blood pressure soaring once Aaron finally had it all out in the open. "We decided to use Greenaway as bait for the unsub, knowing that we had to get him to make a move before he escalated his behavior further."

"That was the first mistake."

"I realise that now. She's only been out in the field for a month, and I should have seen that she wasn't ready to be placed in such a high pressure situation. There was no way that I could have asked Agent Jareau to take that spot, however, since she didn't fit the unsub's latest victim pool. She looks like she's a teenager at times, if I'm honest, and while that's good for getting the press to underestimate her, it is also a hindrance in a situation like this."

"What did Agent Greenaway do?" she pressed, knowing that the answer she received would be the worst. Reaching out for David's hand, she threaded their fingers together as she took a dee breath, awaiting Aaron's response.

"She shot and killed the unsub before he had even made a move. She swears that it was done in self-defense, that he had threatened her, but there's no indication of that being the truth. It took a lot for me to convince the our contact in the police department that she was telling the truth about what had happened, and I still think that they know I'm covering for her."

"You have to get her to tell the truth, Aaron."

He blew out a breath of frustration, and Erin found herself copying the sound, feeling that same level of frustration spread throughout her body. David picked up on that feeling, as he scooted closer to her body, nuzzling the hollow of her neck with his face, his lips kissing against her pulse point in an effort to distract her. Giving him a little smile, she shook her head and he pulled back a little to rest his head on her shoulder, instead cupping her breast in a familiar touch that didn't wind her up quite so much. "I wish that I could, Erin. I've tried everything that I can think of, but she won't crack. You know that I abhor a liar, but since we don't fully know how events transpired, I just cannot come out and accuse her of doing so."

"I understand. You do realise that I'll have to go to Director Shepperd with this, correct?"

"I know, and I know that by the time we arrive home tomorrow, I'll have to go explain things in person. Just…I don't even know at this point. I wish that there was a better way to deal with this, but there's not. And I don't even think that she feels any iota of remorse for her actions. That might be the worst part of it. Once you lose that bit of empathy for a human being, you can't regain it."

"And if that's the truth, well, we will seriously need to consider her employment with the BAU. There is a way that you could push her to tell the truth. Tell her that her return to the BAU is predicated upon her completion of a psych evaluation with Linda Atkins, since you work closely with her to make up the evaluations in the first place, and she will be able to ferret out her truthfulness easier than another psychologist might. And if she does admit to killing a man in cold blood, well, you also know that you have to make certain that the Dayton police are informed of that, so that they may take appropriate action. We cannot allow a rogue agent to besmirch the reputation of the BAU, as that will just make our jobs all the harder in the long run."

"I know, Erin. I'll touch base with you more tomorrow, after I see the Director. I'm assuming that we'll be back around eleven, since we couldn't get cleared for an early morning takeoff."

"Sounds good, Aaron. And do what you have to do to keep the BAU's reputation clean." She hung up before he could say another word, and set her phone aside as she buried her face in her hands, taking a couple long breaths through her nose. "They are bound and determined to keep me in a state of high tension. Again, I'm going to have to tap dance with the Director to ensure that Alpha isn't disbanded."

"I know of a way to take your mind off of that, even if only for a few hours."

A little small curved her lips upwards as she stretched up against his hand, welcoming him to touch her a little more. "Do you now?" she purred out, a small gasp slipping from her lips as his hand snaked beneath her nightgown to touch her bare flesh, his thumb swiping against her nipple to tease it into a firm peak.

"I do," he said huskily before he leaned in and pressed an open mouthed kiss against her neck, causing her to gasp in pleasure. "You're already starting to sing beneath my touches." She nodded before cooing a little as his hands pushed the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, baring her breasts so that he could lean in and press a flurry of kisses against them. He teased her by avoiding her nipples, and she bit her lower lip a little as she started to gasp and moan, arching up against him in order to get him to pay attention to where she really wanted his lips.

Instead of acquiescing to her wants, her fiancé began to press soft kisses down her torso while his hands pushed her nightgown the rest of the way off her body before spreading her legs apart. "David!" she cried out as he began to eat her out, her hips bucking against his face in order to feel him more closely against her skin. And just as she was about to fall over into the sweet abyss of orgasm, he pulled away from her before thrusting into her pliant body in one smooth stroke. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper as they set up a fast, frantic, rhythm.

Since she was already so close to the edge, it didn't take long to for her to find the peak of her pleasure once more, and as she came, she clutched at David, pulling him in close so that she could kiss him deeply as she fell over the precipice into the bliss of her orgasm, finding that this was indeed the distraction that she needed in that moment.


	43. Chapter 43

Erin felt herself groan a little as she sat up a little straighter, cracking her back to try and relieve some of the tension she was carrying there. She knew that Aaron had given Agent Greenaway a two week ultimatum to have her psych evaluation done, and that she hadn't done so, instead not bothering to show up for work the day of her supposed return, forcing him to stay behind and try to track her down. She knew how he felt, she wanted answers as well, but knew that they were both unlikely to get what they wanted.

And now the case in Texas was almost finished, and there was still no real answer from Agent Greenaway, which meant that she would be on the hunt for a new agent to replace her on the team. That was not a task that she relished, but since Jason had approved of Agent Greenaway and it had ended up in disaster, she knew that she would have to make the next choice. There was no way that they could afford another PR disaster, not when she had come dangerously close to having to disband Alpha and split them amongst the other teams and departments.

"She's gone."

Erin looked up from her computer screen, realizing that she had been staring at it without seeing anything as she had lost herself in thought. "I see. Did she explain herself, at least?"

"After a fashion, yes." He took a seat in front of her desk and picked up the photograph of her children, staring at Elise's face for a few long moments before returning the frame to her desk. She had to fight the urge to right it, knowing that he would comment on her fastidiousness if she did so. "She also turned in her badge and gun, so we don't have to hound her for that. But there's no way that I can call the Dayton police and inform them of my suppositions, since that won't stand up in court. My time as a prosecutor tells me as much."

"And being unable to bring her to justice eats at you."

"Just as the lie that you're telling to everyone is eating at you."

She frowned, knowing then that the tentative détente they had formed over the course of the last two weeks was over. "I haven't lied, Aaron."

"Oh, really? When you first were telling me about the pregnancy, it was Alan's baby. And then, when that didn't work out for you, she suddenly became Dave's baby. Somewhere, obviously, there is a lie there, and one day, the truth will come out."

Erin felt the blood leave her face as she shook her head slowly. "I think that you're wrong, Aaron. I think that the truth is something that you don't want to hear right now, because you were enamored with the idea of fathering two children at once." He narrowed his eyes, and Erin took a deep breath as she pressed ahead. "I know that you don't want to think about the fact that I was sleeping with three men around the same time. But it would lend you a better excuse for hating me. After all, it was just something casual for me. Both times."

Aaron's face tightened a little before he shook his head. "And now you're lying again, this time to both of us. I heard you start to sob when I left the hotel room that morning. I think that's what made me so angry with myself. I hurt you, I hurt Haley, I hurt myself. There is no excuse for what we did that night, but my mother always raised me to be kinder than I was that morning. I was just so disgusted with my actions that I had nothing left to give you."

"I wouldn't have asked for anything, Aaron. I had never even looked at another man that way until the alcohol affected our systems." The truth was easy to tell him while they were being open and honest with each other, as if they would never have a moment in time like this again. "We allowed our basest instincts to take over, and now we know ourselves a little better. In the end, we were also both honest with our spouses, though Haley was quick to forgive you, whereas Alan was quick to move on."

"You landed on your feet, Erin."

"I was lucky that David even accepted my call. And I have been blessed by our relationship." She blinked back quick tears as she looked away from Aaron, taking a few deep breaths. "I wish that you could understand everything, but I don't think that you ever will. I'm just glad that this hasn't affected your friendship with David all that much."

"I can compartmentalize, when I have to. I'll be informing Director Shepperd of the defection come the morning. And I think that, if possible, we should wait to fill the position Agent Greenaway has left on the team. I'm starting to think that Alpha has a curse placed on it, and I'd like to have the chance to just let things settle."

She nodded, knowing that that would not be likely, since the Director would want to fill the position as quickly as possible. The BAU was a prestige department, even with the current scandals that had occurred. "I will see what I can do to make that happen."

Aaron gave her a look before getting to his feet, giving her a tight nod before stalking from her office with no further word. Letting out a long breath, she looked back at her computer screen and decided that she would just finish everything the next day, it was already late enough and she was missing her children fiercely. Shaking her head a little, she powered down her computer before grabbing her purse, deciding to leave everything work related at work, since she wasn't that far behind, and she would need something to distract herself from the dread of waiting to be called up to Director Shepperd's office and explain to him how she had once more allowed Alpha to go off the rails and bring the FBI under further scrutiny.

Turning off the lights in her office, she locked her door before heading out to the elevators, waiting for one to arrive. While she stood there, her phone buzzed against her thigh, and she pulled it out of her purse, smiling to see David's name on the screen. As she answered, she stepped into the elevator and brought the phone to her ear. "Are you on your way home?"

"Finally, yes. I still have some work to do, but I can finish that up tomorrow before I'm inevitably called up to the Director's office to explain why one of my former agents decided to not go to her mandatory psych evaluation and instead just quit with no notice. Is it wrong that I just want to come home and drink until I fall asleep?"

"Yes, Erin, because that's not healthy. I will, however, have a glass of red wine waiting for you in the living room, along with your reheated supper so that we can watch something mind numbing on the television while you eat."

"Have I told you that I love you?"

"Not since last night, so I was starting to wonder."

She laughed at the way he teased her, wondering how things could be so easy between them. Elise had brought them together, but she had never expected to find this peace with him, not when they had butted heads so often when he was last with the FBI. "Well, I do. You can be certain of that. But I am really hoping that it was lasagna tonight?"

"It was! I had the feeling that you needed comfort food, just based on how the beginning of the week started out. Now, hurry home. Elise has been missing her mommy something fierce."

"Then pray my wheels have wings and that I hit all the lights green. I will see you all soon." They said their goodbyes, and Erin let out a happy sigh as she slipped it back into her purse, wishing that she could just teleport home and be with her family immediately.


	44. Chapter 44

It had taken Erin two weeks to sift through all eligible applicants for the opening with the BAU. This time, Director Shepperd had given her the leeway to choose the person that she thought would be the best fit for the Alpha team, seeing as how Jason's last two choices had not been the best. Finally, though, she thought that she had narrowed in on the candidate who was the most eager and desperate to be part of the BAU, and that person was coming in to interview that morning while the team was in Seattle.

"Erin, did you want me to get coffee for you and your interviewee? I think there's still time for me to run down to your café and grab your usual."

"I think that I'm okay, Helen, thank you. And David would tell you that I don't need any extra caffeine, since I am drinking a little extra coffee these days in the lead up to Elise's first birthday party."

Her assistant nodded, taking a seat in front of her desk and leading in, a wide grin on her face. "We are looking forward to this party, Erin. And knowing your fiancé, it's certain to be a bit over the top."

"Oh, it's not him that's had to be reined in. I just keep telling him these ideas and he agrees to them. But I am glad that I've chosen the same Saturday to have it as Aaron and Haley are throwing Jack's first birthday party. This way I don't have to worry about one or both of them showing up and creating a scene. Not that I think Haley would, but Aaron might. Since he still believes that he's Elise's father." She met Helen's eye and gave her a semi-sad smile, seeing her assistant nod in return. "I wish that it could be different, but David's name is on the birth certificate, and that is the way it will remain."

"That still doesn't assuage your guilt, does it?"

Erin shook her head, blinking her eyes rapidly to hold back the tears. She knew that she didn't have enough time to fix her makeup if she started crying, and she did her best to hold them back as she continued to look at her assistant. "I will carry the guilt to my grave, most likely. Now, I have ten minutes before she's set to arrive. I'm going to read over her file once more and make a few notes on things to ask. When Ms. Prentiss arrives, please keep her in the outer office until one past the hour. I want to see how she deals with that."

"Of course, Erin." Helen got to her feet and gave her a wide smile. "We'll talk more about the party during lunch?"

"I will look forward to that," she replied with a smile before she adjusted the reading glasses on her nose and bent back over the file, picking up her pen to make more notes on the paper next to her as Helen left the room and closed the door. The resume in front of her spoke volumes as to how prepared Emily Prentiss would be to fill the hole in the BAU. She was a polyglot, speaking Arabic, Spanish, French, Russian and Gaelic, which was an eclectic mix of languages, Erin had to admit. Her mother had been an ambassador to the Soviet Union during Emily's youth, along with a stint as an ambassador in Italy. The woman had worked with Interpol and the CIA, as well, which told Erin that she knew how to take orders and stay in line, not rocking the boat more than necessary. Those were all traits that she needed in a good agent, especially when she was looking for someone who would quell some of the recklessness that had crept into the team.

Clearing her throat, Erin got to her feet and went over to the table, pouring herself a glass of water and carrying it back to her spot before taking a sip and then arranging her desk in a manner to look open and pleasing. She wanted to start this off on the right foot, knowing that this interview was little more than a formality, that Emily Prentiss becoming a member of the BAU was a foregone conclusion. Finally, she felt ready to carry out this interview, and she glanced at her watch to see that it was directly on the hour. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders as the door to her office opened and she rose to her feet to greet the two women.

"Good morning, Ms. Prentiss. I am so pleased to meet you," she said as Helen motioned for Emily to step towards the desk. Erin held out her hand, her face softening a little as she smiled at the younger woman. There was a curiosity and hunger in her eyes that told Erin she was trying not to appear desperate for this job. "Please, take a seat."

Erin gestured towards the chairs in front of the desk, elegantly taking her seat before picking up her water and taking a slow sip. She knew that she was deliberately trying to throw Emily off kilter, but it seemed like she was able to roll with everything so far. "It is a pleasure to be here. I've wanted this job for years, but it always seemed like the timing was never right. Until now."

"Yes, things can change in a heartbeat. Now, I see that you spent most of your growing up years overseas with your mother. How do you think that that background will help you in this job?"

Emily crossed her legs as she swallowed reflexively, looking at Erin's glass of water. "Being exposed to a wide variety of cultures from a young age has made me comfortable in any situation that might arise in the field. It has also helped my during my time with Interpol, since I was able to parse out where it was shifty behavior or a cultural difference. That sort of experience is what can hopefully turn a potentially difficult situation into a more peaceful one."

Those were exactly the words that Erin wanted to hear, and she nodded a little, trying to keep her face a smooth mask, to not give away the fact that things seemed to be even more perfect than her CV had hinted at. "Interesting. And do you think that you can carry out your duties here, after working with two other government agencies?"

"I believe so. All I need is the chance to prove myself."

Erin nodded once more before launching into a series of rapid fire questions, wanting to keep Emily on her toes in order to see how she would deal in a fast paced situation where she was under pressure to provide answers. Emily passed that portion of the interview with flying colors, and Erin nodded as she made a few notes on the paper in front of her. Finally, she brought the interview to a close and slipped her glasses off her face, setting them on top of Emily's file as she folded her hands on her desk and looked directly into the woman's eyes. "Well, I believe that I have all that I need here. I will tentatively say that the position is yours, if you still wish to have it, and then go up and give my recommendation to Director Shepperd. I truly feel that you will be exactly the person that we need on Alpha to help bring balance back to the team."

The grin that slipped across Emily's face told Erin everything that she needed to know, and Erin rose to her feet, once more extending her hand towards the woman. Emily bounced to her feet, still grinning, as she took hold of Erin's hand and shook it strongly a few times. "If you'll make certain that your contact details are correct with my assistant before you leave, I'll be in touch by the end of the week with when you'll start."

"That sounds wonderful, Ma'am. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I promise that I won't let you down!" Erin nodded coolly as she sat back down, watching as Emily left the office, feeling like this was the best outcome for everyone involved.


	45. Chapter 45

Erin rubbed at her face absently as she stared at the file in front of her. There was so much left to do with regards to integrating their newest member into Alpha team. This would be her first case with them all, and she knew that it would be difficult for them to adjust to the fact that they had no say in choosing who joined them, but she also knew that Emily Prentiss was more than capable of integrating into the group. Shaking her head a little to clear out the cobwebs gathering there. Elise had had a rough night, which meant she hadn't gotten as much sleep as she would have liked, and now she was paying the price for that by feeling like she was going to fall asleep at her keyboard any moment.

Just as she was about to push away from her desk and stretch out on her sofa for a few minutes, the door to her office opened, and she found her eyes widening in shock a little to see Helen lead Emily inside. "When she started to explain what had happened, I knew that you needed to hear this, even though you asked not to be disturbed, ma'am."

"It's fine, Helen," she replied, giving her assistant a tight smile as she nodded and then left the room, closing the door firmly. Letting out a soft sigh, she indicated for Emily to take a seat in front of her, and the woman nodded as she set the box she had been carrying next to her on the floor. "You should be on the jet to St. Louis."

"Agent Hotchner refused to let me join the briefing, even after I explained that the Director had approved my joining the BAU. I have met him before, since his mother is friends with my mother, but after he found out that I was there to join the team, his entire demeanor changed. I don't know what's made him so defensive, but I felt like I couldn't do anything right."

"The agent that you're replacing left on less than the best terms, and I know that the team is still smarting from her loss. And he and Jason are still dealing with the aftermath of the Adrian Bale case."

"Oh yes, I remember that incident. Didn't a member of Alpha perish in the bombing?" Erin nodded. "Well, I suppose that makes things a little easier to understand. I didn't think that it would be so difficult to become a part of the team."

Erin let out another sigh. "I suppose that this was my fault, I let you enter the lion's den without any support. If I had been thinking, I would have made the introductions myself, to show that this really is our decision. I've just been pulled in so many directions lately with this job and…" She cut herself off before she revealed too much, knowing that her tiredness was driving her close to the point of oversharing with a subordinate. "Anyway, since they're already there, and it would look bad if I sent you out on this case, I would like to suggest a compromise. I have already selected the next case that I'd like the BAU to wok on, and I'll give you the files so that you can head back into the bullpen and start writing up a preliminary profile for it."

"Where am I supposed to set up? Agent Hotchner didn't assign me a desk to work at."

"The conference room will be free, since the Red Cell and Beta teams are also out on cases at the moment. And if anyone else there gives you any hint of hassle, please feel free to come to me immediately, and I will take care of the problem."

"That would be fine," Emily replied as Erin rummaged around in the files on her desk, finally pulling out the ones that Emily would need to write up her profile and handing them over. "Thank you for this, ma'am. I promise that I will try to do better when the team is home."

"This isn't about you trying harder, it's about Aaron and Jason allowing themselves to see that there's no need to be hostile towards new members of the team. There are a number of excellent agents who would thrive if they weren't so in fear and awe of those two." Her words came out sharper and more bitter than she would have liked, and Emily gave her a small nod before she rose to her feet, setting the files on top of her box and leaving the office at a fast clip, closing the door awkwardly behind her. "That could have gone a lot better, Erin," she muttered as she raked her fingers through her hair and let out a long breath.

Shaking her head, she grabbed her phone out of her purse and made her way over to her sofa, stretching out on it and calling David before pulling the thin blanket over her legs and closing her eyes as she waited for her partner to answer. "David," she groaned the moment she heard his breathing on the other end of the line.

"Are you all right?" he asked, worry in his voice.

"I think I screwed up. Do you have time to listen to me and give some advice?"

"I always have time for you, Erin," he replied, sounding a little less worried.

"And that is why I love you. So, you might want to do damage control with Aaron after this, because if I try to call and explain things, I believe that it will just make the situation worse. The new agent was supposed to start today."

"I remember you mentioned that. Did she flake out and not show up?"

She shook her head before taking a deep breath. "No. She arrived bright and early, ready to head out with the team. It would have been so easy for Aaron to introduce her to the team, but instead he treated her abominably, and while he doesn't know that I was the one who chose her to fill Agent Greenaway's position, he treated her as if he knew I had. So he left her behind, and no one on the team knows that they have a new member. I told her to set up in the conference room for the time being, since it would look a little odd for her to just take over Agent Greenaway's desk, and she's working up a profile for the next case that the team will be going on, but I don't know what else to do."

There was a brief pause, and Erin used the opportunity to shift onto her side and pull the blanket up a little higher around her chest. "I don't see where you messed up, Erin. You did everything I would have done, if I had been in your position."

"Well, I didn't quite tell you everything. Towards the end of our conversation, I said something highly critical of Aaron and Jason, and she didn't quite understand why I would say something like that. I wouldn't have been so candid, but with how late Elise kept me up last night, on top of the stress of introducing Agent Prentiss to the team, my mouth got ahead of me before I could stop it."

"Well, you can't call those words back, unfortunately. But as long as you didn't disparage them to her, I think that everything will be fine. Now, do you have time to take a nap, or are you too far behind?"

"You are reading my mind, darling. I'm on the sofa already, about to try and catch twenty minutes of sleep. That should be enough to get me through the day, though you'll have to explain to the kids why I head right to the living room instead of helping with supper."

"I can do that, Erin. But if you're too tired to drive, I can come pick you up."

"I don't think that I will be, but I will definitely call you back if that changes. Thank you for letting me talk it out."

"I will always listen to you, _stellina_. Now close those sweet eyes of yours and try not to think about the things that could go wrong and focus on the things that will go right. And keep in mind that it's manicotti night."

"You know the way to my heart, David. I love you."

She barely heard his reply as her eyes closed heavily, and she gave in to the siren's call of sleep, her phone slipping from her hand to fall to the floor. Somehow, she knew that he was right, as long as she focused on the good, things would turn out all right.


	46. Chapter 46

Two weeks before Christmas, it seemed like Agent Prentiss was finally fitting in with the team much better, giving Erin one less thing to worry about. Especially when the team had been called out to Chicago to try and prove that Agent Morgan wasn't a serial killer. This was yet another scandal they didn't need attached to the BAU, and while she knew that he would be cleared with enough time, there was still the possibility that he could also be railroaded into a confession. Looking at the updated picture of her children, she felt a wave of terror sweep over her heart as she imagined what Agent Morgan's mother must be going through.

Just as she was about to set to work on the budget for the next quarter, her phone rang. Fishing it out of her purse, she frowned to see David's name on the display. He hadn't mentioned that he would be calling, as he was taking Elise to her checkup. "David? Is something wrong?"

She tried not to sound worried, but her heart felt like ice in her chest as she waited for him to speak. "I need you to do something difficult, Erin. There are a few anomalies that her paediatrician would like more follow up on, but since I'm not the father, I can't give a more thorough medical history. You're going to need to contact Haley and see if she can shed any light on the subject for us."

Erin felt bile rise in her throat as she nodded. "I will call her and see if she'll talk to me. But is Elise going to be all right?"

"She's going to need a small surgery to repair the issue, but Doctor Gibson feels like it should resolve everything. We can wait until after Christmas to take care of it, but we're going to have to monitor her closely. That's why she's been so cranky. It was nothing we were doing, _stellina_."

She knew that he was trying to mollify her, but it felt like his words weren't reaching through to her. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but I just feel more guilty now. It's not your fault. I, I have to go call Haley before I start crying. I'm sorry. I'll try to come home early, maybe work from there, after I explain to Director Shepperd what's going on."

"Of course, Erin. I love you, and it will be all right."

"I love you, too," she choked out before ending the call and clearing her throat. Getting up from her desk, she went out to Helen and caught her attention by coughing lightly. "Can you access the personnel files of Alpha team, or do I have to get that information from Ms. Garcia?"

"I should be able to get that for you, Erin. What do you need?"

"The home phone number for Aaron Hotchner, along with a cell number for Haley, if it's available."

Her assistant gave her a quick nod before turning to her computer, her fingers flying over her keyboard before she picked up a pen and quickly wrote down a series of numbers. "The top is their home, the bottom is her cell. Is everything all right?"

"There's something wrong with Elise, and I need to talk to Haley. I don't know any more right now, but I am trying to hold it together. And I would give my left arm for a bottle of gin right now, even though I know that would solve absolutely nothing. It's what got me into this situation in the first place." She took the slip of paper from Helen's hand and gave her a shaky smile.

"While you're on the phone with her, I'll run down to our café and see if they have any of that chocolate cake that you love so much. At least the calories won't be too detrimental to you."

"Thank you," she whispered as she turned and went into her office, closing the door behind her. Rather than taking a seat behind her desk, she settled onto her sofa, curling up in one corner as she tried to concentrate on the numbers written down, seeing the swim from her tears that she refused to shed. Finally, she was able to parse out Haley's cell phone number, and she shakily pressed the numbers on her phone before connecting the call and bringing the device to her ear.

There were only two rings before Haley answered, and she bit her lower lip as she heard Haley's voice answer. "Hello? Who is this?"

"Haley, please don't hang up."

"Erin? Is something wrong with Aaron?"

She cleared her throat, trying to buy time, to keep her tears at bay. "No, it's not him. It, it's Elise. There's something wrong with her, and she's going to need surgery to fix whatever it is. Her paeditrician wants to know more about the familial history, and I can't tell her half of it. It would be embarrassing if I wasn't so terrified."

There was a tiny pause, and then Erin through she heard a faint catch in Haley's breathing. "It's a heart problem, if I can be so bold as to diagnose your daughter without seeing her. Even though I'm not a doctor. Jack had the same thing, that's what I was trying to tell you in May, before Aaron interrupted us. I, I assumed that since you never contacted me sooner that Elise hadn't inherited it, too. Sean also had the same thing when he was a baby. But she will be okay. Jack had the surgery, and he's thriving now. Are you there with her now?"

"No, I couldn't take off work, since David is taking all of us to Comack for two weeks to finally meet his sister this Christmas before heading to Connecticut to show her off to my parents. But I'm going to take off early today, bring work home so I can do that and look at my baby." She didn't know why she was opening up to Haley, just that she knew the woman understood where she was coming from, since she had faced the same terror. "Her paeditrician also thought the surgery could wait until after Christmas, but that's nearly a month, and so much can happen in that amount of time."

Erin choked back a sob as she considered the potential of losing her daughter, her precious baby. "Sean's surgery was scheduled for almost two months after he was diagnosed, and he turned out fine. Try not to worry too much. Which I know is extremely difficult, because she is your baby, and you would do anything in your power to protect her. Would you mind having company this afternoon? I could tell you more about what to expect, if I'm correct."

"I, I think I'd like that, actually. And it would be nice for Jack to meet Elise. It's never too early to start making friends, after all. I still need to call up to the Director and see if I can leave early, but if he says yes, I'll text you with David's address…"

"Actually, I know where he lives. We used to spend time over there, before you moved in, but things have been rocky between them lately. Just text me with an answer before you leave, and I'll swing by as soon as I've fed Jack."

"Okay. And Haley?"

"Yes, Erin?"

"Thank you." She hung up before the woman could say anything else, and then took a few deep breaths before calling up to the Director, hoping that he would give her the answer that she desperately needed to hear.


	47. Chapter 47

As soon as Director Shepperd had heard her near tears, he had agreed to allow her request to work from home. Only, not just for the day, but for the rest of the week, saying that family was most important at a time like this. Erin had been so grateful for his kindness, and as she packed up her bag with the first bit of work that she would need for that afternoon, she began to tell Helen what she would need while she was away from the office.

"Are you certain that you don't need me to do anything more for you, Erin?"

"No, but thank you. I just need some time to be with Elise and try not to worry about what comes next."

Helen nodded, her eyes shining with tears. "May, may I hug you?" Erin nodded and braced herself for the embrace she knew was coming. To her surprise, the hug was soft, tender, as if Helen knew that she didn't need to be enveloped in an embrace to know that her assistant cared deeply for her. "My wife and I, we'll say a prayer for Elise when I get home. And if you need anything, anything at all, we're here for you."

"Thank you," she murmured as she patted Helen's back a few times before stepping away from her side. "Now, before I start to cry once more, I am going to head home. I've already texted Haley to let her know that she's free to come over, and David to let him know that I'll be home for lunch. I'll see you tonight for file handovers."

"All right," Helen replied as she stepped away from Erin, swiping quickly at her eyes. "Drive safely."

"I will." Erin smiled a little as she shouldered her attaché case and purse. Nodding at Helen, she made her way out of the office, only to find herself running into Ms. Garcia as she went over to the elevators. She hoped that the woman wouldn't notice her red rimmed eyes, but from the sad look she gave her, Erin knew that that was a lost cause, and she once more braced herself for an effusive display of emotion.

"Ma'am, is everything all right?"

"I'm not feeling well, so the Director has allowed me to work from home for the rest of the week. And while I would love to chat about this with you, I need to get home so I can eat and then go to sleep."

"Of course, ma'am. And if there's anything that I can do…"

"I can call you. Thank you, Helen has also volunteered to do that as well. But I think that David is quite able to take care of all our needs." The elevator doors opened, and she stepped inside, pressing the button for the ground floor before waving a little at her as the doors closed. As soon as she was alone, Erin allowed her shoulders to sag as she took a few deep breath, trying to calm her racing thoughts and heart. She wished that she could have called David to bring her home, but he had to deal with getting Elise home safely. Which meant she had to suck it up and get home safely. Elise needed both of her parents in that moment, and she knew that she had to be extremely careful as she drove home.

Still, she couldn't remember a single thing about the drive, only that she was pulling into their driveway mere moments before Haley turned in behind her. Parking in the garage, Erin took a deep breath and made her way inside, making a beeline for the living room, knowing that David would be there with Elise. He looked up at her, his eyes red-rimmed from crying. " _Stellina_."

"I know. Haley's right behind me, so if you want to go let her inside. I need to hold my baby." He nodded as he got to his feet, handing Elise to her before wrapping her up in a tight hug and kissing her forehead fiercely. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered before making his way out of the room. Erin let out a deep sigh as she snuggled Elise close to her chest, pressing kiss after kiss to the side of her head as she waited for Haley to join them. "The little man is getting so big already!"

"Yes, he is growing like a weed. It's hard to believe that they're fourteen months already, it seems like they were born yesterday. You can take him out of the car seat and hold him if you want, while we talk." Haley focused her gaze on Erin and Elise, coming over to their side and reaching out to rub her shoulder as she nodded, tears filling her eyes. "How are you holding up?"

"Not well. You know that I just got home, so I know nothing more than what I told you over the phone." Haley nodded as she gestured towards the sofa with her head. As Erin took a seat, Haley sank down next to her, a placid smile on her lips. She wondered how she could even be smiling at a time like this, but then remembered that Haley knew exactly what they were going through, and had made it through to the other side. "You said that this is a hereditary condition?"

"Yes. If it is an atrioventricular septal defect." David nodded, and Haley let out what sounded like a breath of relief to Erin's ears. "That's what Jack had, and it is easily corrected. I just wish that I had reached out to contact you in May, so that this could have been corrected sooner. And if it's not getting repaired until the new year, then it's not as large a problem as it was for Jack, and his was mild. So, I know it's not the best news, and that surgery always has its risks, you can relax a little."

The breath that Erin felt escape her lungs was so sweet, and she nodded as she adjusted how she was holding Elise, allowing Haley to get her first good look at her daughter. "That really sets my heart at ease, Haley. Thank you for being willing to come over and talk about this. Erin and I were both going a little out of our minds with worry."

"It's easy enough to do. I'm certain Aaron called you a few times when we were going through it with Jackers. We all need to reach out and find the people who can help us at times like these." Haley swallowed a few times before reaching out and stroking Elise's face softly. "And I really need to apologise to you both. My behaviour when Aaron told me that Erin was pregnant with Elise was histrionic. I want to say that it was against my nature, but…"

"You're a live wire," David replied, chuckling a little.

Haley nodded and shrugged. "I inherited that from my dad. Pop off quickly and then regret what I said later. I've been working on it, but lately, with Aaron gone so much, and Jack getting bigger, and the team going through so much upheaval, well, it's been easy to get angrier and angrier. It doesn't excuse the behaviour, but it might help explain it?"

Erin smiled as she nodded in return. "It does. I'm reticent to share with others, which is why I was so overwhelmed when Aaron just told you everything before he told me what he'd done."

A bright flush spread across Haley's face as she looked away from them to stare down into her lap. "Yes, well, I should have never contacted your ex-husband. I was just so furious and terrified that Aaron would leave me and I'd have no one to turn to. I haven't worked since he got his law degree, since I didn't have to. My fear made me a bitch, and I'm truly sorry for that."

"I accept your apology," Erin replied as Elise started to babble away in her arms. "Do you think that they'd like to play together for a little while? And you're free to stay for supper, since the team just left on the case."

"That would be really nice," Haley replied, and Erin smiled, feeling like maybe, just maybe, this small health crisis would help bring them all together.


	48. Chapter 48

Erin shook her head as she looked at the text message she had just received from Aaron on her work phone, and she looked over at her fiancé, reaching out for his hand and gripping it tightly. They knew that the surgery to repair Elise's heart would take anywhere between four to six hours, but that still didn't mean that she wouldn't look up anxiously every time someone entered or exited the waiting room. And this text from Aaron was not helping things in the slightest. "What is it, Erin?"

"Things are headed south with this case quickly, and I don't know if I can deal with the stress of that and Elise. I just want to flee to the nearest bar and get so drunk that I forget this is even happening?"

He slung his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his side before pressing a tender kiss to the side of her head. "And I wouldn't let you do that, Erin. Because you know that won't solve any problems, it would just create new ones. Now, what seems to be the problem with Aaron and his team?"

She let out a deep breath and showed him the text. "It looks like the sheriff has been taken by the unsub, and it's complete chaos. Why couldn't they have picked up an easy case to deal with?" Erin burst into tears, turning her face into his chest so that she could cry without being seen, welcoming the way his arms encircled her shoulders, holding her close as he dropped a few more kisses to the top of her head.

"Do you want me to call Director Shepperd and have him field any calls and requests for this case?"

"Yes and no? I need the distraction to focus my mind away from what's happening to Elise, but I need it to be less stressful."

"All right, I'll text Hotch back with a message that hopefully sounds like you, telling him to let you know when they find the sheriff. Will that help you?" She nodded, listening to the way he spoke beneath his breath as he slowly pecked out the reply to Aaron, taking much longer than it would have taken her.

"I need to get you more comfortable with technology, darling. You're too accustomed to that ancient flip phone."

He chuckled, and she clung to that sound, finding that it helped to settle her a little as she sat up and wiped away the tears lingering on her face. "I like my ancient flip phone. It gets the job done. Why would I want to fix something that isn't broken?"

"I suppose," she murmured as he handed the phone back to her, and she slipped it into her pocket as she looked at the clock on the wall once more. Her shoulders slumped when she saw that only five minutes had passed, and then she was curling up close to David once more. "I need to stop looking at the clock."

"Did you bring a book to read, like the surgeon suggested?"

Erin nodded as she reached into her purse and pulled out the book she'd brought. "Karen said that I needed something light to take my mind off what was happening, and suggested I bring one of her books, since it wouldn't take too much brainpower to read."

"She has a point. And Alan was all right with the change in visitation?"

"I think so. Though any time he can spend with the children will always be welcome to him. I am so glad that we've managed to iron out all these bumps in the road between us, because the children have to come first, no matter what, and I think we're finally both realise that." Erin dropped her purse to the floor once more as she settled her head on his chest and opened the book, trying to read the words on the page. That seemed like a losing battle, however, as she found herself reading the same paragraph over and over again, not really retaining anything that the author was trying to say. Letting out a frustrated breath, she closed the book and shoved it between her and David as she curled up closer to him and rubbed her cheek against his chest.

"Do you think that you could get some sleep?"

"I don't know."

"Close your eyes, then, and rest. Listen to my heartbeat and I'll keep watch on the clock for you." She nodded as she allowed her eyes to slide closed, focusing on the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as she tried to relax. She didn't know how much time passed, but soon enough she smelled a familiar perfume, and she frowned as she pushed away from David to sit up and look at their visitor.

"I know, I'm probably the last person that you wanted to see today, but I thought that I'd see how everything was going before I headed in to work. Since the team is in Nevada, I don't have to be there right at eight. Have you heard anything about how the surgery is going?" Penelope gave her a small smile as she took a seat in the chair next to David. "And before you ask, I didn't snoop to see where you were. I asked Helen about this, since I noticed that you had taken another two weeks off, after having two weeks off for Christmas, and I was worried."

"Thank you for your concern," Erin said lowly as she took hold of David's hand, holding on tightly. "Elise has been in surgery for ninety minutes so far, and at the least, there are two and a half hours left. If everything goes well, and the surgeon's fingers fly. I, I just want to hold my baby."

She tried to blink back her tears, but failed, and then Penelope was out of her chair and giving her a warm, tight, hug as she clung to David's hand. "I can only imagine, Erin. Listen, I'm going to get together with Helen and we're going to make a meal schedule, so that you and Rossi don't have to worry about that, at least. It will be the five of you for the next two weeks, yes?"

"Actually, Ms. Garcia, it will just be Erin and myself at home, or here. We thought it would be less disruptive for the kids if they spent this time with their father. He's promised to bring them around once Elise has been transferred to the critical care unit. But will be nice if you two want to prepare food for us. One less thing to worry about."

Penelope nodded before hugging Erin closely once more. "I can do that for you both. And I hate to leave so soon, but I know that traffic will be a nightmare from here to the BAU, but this was more important. Please, let me know as soon as Elise is out of surgery?"

"I will, Penelope." Erin gave her a shaky smile as the woman straightened her skirt and then gave them a little wave before leaving the waiting room. "She reminds me of a more over the top Helen more and more, David."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I think that it might be. I'm starting to trust her more, at least. Because God knows that I need another friendly face at the BAU. They don't trust me, and I understand that. I'm a bitch who slept with their boss, and that is hard to move on from."

"If they could see you right now…"

"I don't think that would change anything, and I have to be all right with that. As long as I have you and the children, that's all I really need in life." He nodded as he pulled her close once more, and she sighed as she rested her head on his chest. "Maybe I'll try reading once more. Seeing Penelope brought a small measure of peace to my heart." He nodded before dropping a soft kiss to the top of her head, and she smiled as she picked up the book once more, opening the pages and trying to lose herself in a world far removed from her current one.


	49. Chapter 49

Elise had done quite well, better than her surgeon had expected, which made Erin feel so much better about the whole situation, especially when her daughter was cleared for release after just one week in the critical care unit. Erin had planned on her being there for the entire ten days. As David had taken charge of holding Elise close to his chest, Erin had listened carefully to the surgeon as she explained how to care for Elise's healing chest wound and what warning signs to look for that would necessitate a return to the hospital.

Finally, they were ready to head home, and she texted Haley, Helen, and Penelope to let them know the good news before cooing into her daughter's face and taking a few pictures with her phone. "I want to stay home for a month to care for her, but I know that the Director is already a little tense, given how that case in Nevada ended last week. So I'll have to content myself with leaving for home directly at five. And have you given thought to my suggestion of hiring a visiting nurse to help us care for Elise? I know that you've put fully committing to your next book on the back burner to take care of us, and I don't want you to put off your goals to take care of my daughter."

"Our daughter, Erin. Family isn't always made by blood. And I love her so much." She nodded as they stepped into the elevator, giving him a large smile as she pressed the button for the ground floor. "And I already hired a visiting nurse to help us out for the next few months. You're right, it will be nice to have an extra pair of hands making certain that we're doing everything right by Elise."

She nodded as Elise started to babble away at them, seeming happy, if tired. Erin knew that that would be a side effect of the surgery and medication, but she still wanted to wrap her baby in a fuzzy blanket and hold her close until she was completely healed. But she also knew that was a horrible idea, since she would never get better if she did that sort of coddling. "I wish that we could just teleport home, David."

"So do I, but that technology doesn't exist yet, _stellina_. Until then, you'll have to deal with me chauffeuring you there. Here, I know that you want to hold her now that we're headed to the car."

She nodded as she took Elise from his arms, cuddling her close and breathing in her unique scent. While she had been able to hold Elise as much as she wanted while she had been in the critical care unit, it was a much different thing to do so without having to worry about disturbing all the leads and wires attached to her, keeping track of her vital signs and making certain that she was all right. "Mama loves you, darling girl," she whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss to her temple and rocking them back and forth on her feet. "We'll need to do something nice for Penelope come Christmas, since she's been so good at checking in on us during this last week, and making certain that we're well fed."

"I have a few ideas in mind," he replied as they stepped out of the elevator and began to make their way over to the valet parking stand. After handing over his ticket, David slung his arm low around her hips, pulling her flush against him as they waited for the car to arrive. "And I already contacted Alan to let him know that we're heading home today, and he promised to bring the children to our house after they finish school for the day. And…"

"There's more?"

"We're going to have a full table at supper, I think. I know that Alan asked if he could stay, since he was concerned about Elise's health, and Haley mentioned that since Hotch is still away on a case that she'd like to come over and make certain that it went well. Also, if I know your assistant, she will be there, along with her wife, and maybe Penelope, too. So that's potentially six extra people. I know, I know, you probably don't want to see that many extra faces around the table this evening, but it will be nice to have all that support."

She nodded as their care arrived, allowing him to guide her outside. She easily got Elise into her car seat before climbing in next to her, not wanting to take her eyes off her baby just yet. "I suppose that I can deal with that for one evening. Though I'll be taking a nap with Elise as soon as we're home. Now that she's been released, I can feel all the worry and stress at last, and I am exhausted."

He chuckled a little as he met her eye in the rearview mirror. "And if I didn't have to start planning the meal for tonight and seeing if I have to buy any ingredients before I can start cooking, I would eagerly join you. You'll be all right for a few hours on your own, right?"

"I should hope so. And I can call if anything comes up." She turned her attention back to Elise before letting out a wide yawn. This seemed to spur David on to drive faster, since their speed picked up a little as he sang along to some song by the Rat Pack. There was a comfort in his voice, and though she tried to keep her heavy eyes open, she still managed to fall asleep not ten minutes into the drive home.

"It's okay to wake up now, Erin." Blinking, she looked up into David's eyes, seeing that he had already gotten Elise out of her car seat and was holding her close as he smiled at her. "Does manicotti sound good for supper?"

"Yes, very much so."

"Good, it's easy enough to make." She nodded as she stepped from the car and they went into the house before David handed Elise over once more. She cuddled her close to her chest before kissing him softly. "I will wake you up in a few hours, since you don't want your sleep schedule to get too fucked up."

"Thank you," she murmured as she left his side and headed directly upstairs, bypassing the nursery and going to their bedroom. She still wasn't too keen on having Elise share the bed with her, but it was large enough that she could probably not worry too much about Elise rolling off the bed. Still, as she set her down in the middle of the mattress, Erin lined the floor next to the bed with all the pillows save one, so that she would at least have a soft place to land if she did fall off while Erin was asleep. With that task done, she stepped out of her shoes and untucked her shirt from her skirt before climbing in next to her daughter, staring into her face as she struggled not to cry. "We're going to try and sleep now, Elise. We're home."

"Ma ma ma ma ma," she babbled as she nodded, and Erin smiled a little as she closed her arms around her daughter, drawing her close to her chest as she burrowed down into the covers, allowing her eyes to flutter closed as she tried to focus on the fact that Elise would be getting better from here on out.


	50. Chapter 50

"You could have gone with them to the Super Bowl party at the bar, David," Erin said as her partner set a bowl of chips down on the coffee table in front of them. He shrugged a little, taking a seat next to her on the sofa as the rest of their guests filled the room. Helen and her wife gave them a small wave as they claimed the settee near the window, while her children and their friends filled the floor in front of the television. It was so good to hear the din of activity, even if neither Jason nor Aaron had shown up. She hadn't expected them to, given how tense things still were between them and her, but it still would have been nice if they had at least given him an answer one way or the other.

Letting out a soft sigh, she curled her feet up beneath her as she rested her head on David's chest, trying to focus on what was happening on the television. She hated to admit it, but she was clueless when it came to football, having grown up watching baseball and equestrian events. Still, she knew that Bruce and David could use the time to bond, and she would muddle through and try not to make too large a fool of herself. "I could have, yes, but I'd rather spend the time here with you and our family and friends. There will be time to bond with them later."

She nodded and smiled a little when she felt him kiss the crown of her head. Erin yawned a little as she cuddled in closer to him, knowing that she had been pushing herself a little too hard by trying to come back to work full time so soon after Elise's surgery. "Try not to let me fall asleep before the game actually begins?"

"You need the sleep, _stellina_ , but I'll try to keep you awake for a little while."

"Thank you," she murmured as she reached out to pick up her glass of soda, taking a long sip as the first commercials of the game started. This, at least, was something she was familiar with, and she laughed at one of the more outrageous ones before grabbing the bowl of popcorn and settling it in her lap. "Also, don't feel like you have to explain the game to me. Alan tried, but it never stuck."

David chuckled as he nodded, reaching into the bowl and grabbing a handful of popcorn to eat as they fell quiet and listened to the conversations around them as they watched what was happening on screen. It was so good to just be with these people, and not worry about what was happening at work. Even the Director had seemed pleased with how well she had worked from home while Elise was recovering, and there was less pressure to make certain that Alpha stayed on the straight and narrow. Which meant that she was under less pressure to be perfect, and she could breathe. And having David help her with some of the paperwork had been an added boon, since they were both focused on Elise's recovery.

Somehow, she managed to stay awake for the entire game, and as the postgame recap began, everyone started to get up and help clean away the detritus of the snacks. Erin was about to get up and check on Elise when her work phone rang, and she frowned deeply as she reached down onto the coffee table and picked it up, seeing that the Director was on the line. "Yes, Sir?" she asked as she moved into a quiet bit of hallway.

"I am so sorry to call so late, but I need you to contact Agent Jareau and have her gather Alpha team. There is a rather bad case in Atlanta that needs our immediate attention. I'm forwarding the pertinent details to your email, and you can do the same for her."

She nodded. "I will get right on that, Sir."

"Thank you."

He hung up before she could say another word, and Erin rolled her eyes a little as she scrolled through her contacts to find Agent Jareau's name, touching it before bringing the phone back to her ear. "Hello?" the young woman asked, and she took a deep breath.

"Agent Jareau, I hate to interrupt…"

"One second, I need to get somewhere quieter."

She nodded and listened to the noise in the background suddenly get quieter as she waited for a good time to talk once more. Finally, it appeared as if the woman was outside, and Erin drew in a deep breath. "I just got word from the Director that there is a particularly nasty case in Georgia requiring our immediate attention. I know that you're all together at McGinty's, so you'll only need to tell the team one time that they need to get to the bullpen and go over the data that I'll forward to your email as soon as I've finished this call. And I know that it's late, I know that you're all probably three sheets to the wind, but you're the only team available to head out there."

"I understand, Ma'am. I'll get everyone together."

"Thank you." This time, she was the one to end the call without another word, and she called up her emails to find the one that the Director had sent to her, seeing that there was a rather large file attached to it. Letting out a deep breath, she forwarded the information to Agent Jareau before peeking her head back into the living room. "David? Can you take care of Elise if she wakes up? I need to settle into the study for a little bit and look over the details of this case."

"Was that the Director, then?"

She nodded, frowning a little as she looked around at their guests. "I hate to be a bad host."

"These assholes never stop for something as mundane as a Super Bowl party. Go, I have everything covered here."

Erin drew in a deep breath before she turned and made her way down the hall to the study, taking a seat at his computer and booting it up before logging into her email and calling up the information that Director Shepperd had sent over. She gasped a little to see the preliminary data, knowing that it was indeed as brutal as the Director had implied. Shaking her head, she read through everything that had been included, trying not to shudder too much at the crime scene photos that had been included as well. All thoughts of sleep fled her system as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing, only to find her brain just not wanting to comprehend the images.

"I put Helen and her wife in our guest room, since neither of them are fit to drive home tonight. Are you heading to bed soon?"

"I need to shower, and then I'll be there. But I don't think that I'll sleep much tonight. This case is going to be one of those difficult ones."

He joined her in the study, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as he rested his chin on top of her head. "Are those the crime scene photos?"

"Yes."

David scrolled through them, a low whistle slipping from his lips as he looked at the carnage. "I do not envy Hotch having to deal with this. And there's a religious angle, too, which will just set Jason off. Come on, there's nothing more that you can do tonight. Let's shower together, no hanky panky, and then crawl into bed. Elise is still fast asleep."

"That sounds heavenly," she murmured as she pushed away from the computer and allowed him to help her to her feet. "As long as you promise to wash my hair." He nodded before kissing her softly, and Erin sighed as they went upstairs to their bedroom, feeling a creeping chill spread through her body as she thought about the case ahead of Alpha team.


	51. Chapter 51

Erin hated having to make the sort of office visit that she was about to do, since it never resulted in anything good. Especially not when Aaron was even more on edge when it came to her these days. She knew that he knew she was keeping a closer eye on their team, since the Director was certain that trouble was brewing in Alpha team. There was a tension between Agent Jareau and the others, since she was being blamed for Doctor Reid's kidnapping and torture, or at least that was what Aaron had hinted at in his report.

Her heels clacked on the tile of the floor as she made her way through the bullpen and up to Aaron's office, not bothering to knock until the door was halfway open. The soft rapping caught his attention and before he could control his microreaction, Erin saw the look of disdain on his face that was quickly replaced with a placid mask. "Erin. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"The Director wanted me to check in with you about how you are doing following the case in Atlanta. I see that Doctor Reid took no time off to deal with any lingering effects of what happened to him."

"He claims that he can work through things better here, with his team, than he could by taking time off."

She cocked her head to one side as she took a seat in front of his desk, searching his face for the truth of what was happening. "Still, he should have taken at least a week off to allow his wounds to heal. The pictures that were included in your report tell me that he very nearly died. Jason took six months off for less."

He drew a deep breath in through his nose, his nostrils flaring a little. "Doctor Reid seems to be made of more resilient stuff." There was a shiftiness to his words, as if he knew that she was right, and that there was something he was keeping from her. A part of Erin knew that she couldn't press him for more information, as that would just cause him to shut down on her even more. "Is that all?"

"No. The Director picked up on something that you mentioned in passing in your report. There's tension between Agents Jareau and Morgan?"

Aaron groaned before he could stop himself, and she cocked an eyebrow upwards as she waited for him to respond to her question. "He's protective of Reid, looks on him like a little brother. And that means that he did think that Agent Jareau should not have allowed Reid to talk them into splitting up. And she is feeling more than a little guilty about what happened. And we both know what guilt can do to a person."

A small blush warmed her cheeks as she looked away from his to gaze at a picture of Haley and Jack. "Guilt will eat you up inside if you allow it. Make certain that you keep a close eye on that situation, and nip any larger issues in the bud."

Erin went to stand, only for Aaron to shake his head sharply. She frowned as she dropped back down into the chair, staring at him, waiting for him to say something. "Is Elise all right?"

"Why wouldn't she be?"

His eyes bored into hers, and she felt like a pinned butterfly in that moment. "Haley told me that she had the same surgery that Jack did. I find it more than a little ironic that Dave's kid would have the same genetic heart condition that Jack had."

"That is not the only way to have that heart problem, Aaron," she coolly replied, lifting her chin up a little as she tried not to show how unnerved she was by that statement.

"And yet, the doubt still lingers." Erin's body felt hot and cold simultaneously as she continued to regard him, trying to show no emotion. "And you still haven't answered my question. Is Elise okay?"

"She is healing well, and ahead of the curve for recovery, according to her surgeon. I'm surprised that Haley spoke about us, since the last time we talked, it did not end well."

His eyebrow ticked upwards, as if to tell her that he knew she was lying, but then he cleared his throat and looked at her closely. "Things appear to have changed on her end in the last few months. Because she seems to regard you with something akin to a grudging respect."

She didn't know why that pleased her so much, but Erin couldn't stop the small smile of pleasure that curved her lips upwards, which Aaron took notice of, his own mouth tightening into a thin line of displeasure. "It's good to know that people can change, Aaron. Would that we could all be that magnanimous. Is Jack doing well?"

"He's fine," he bit out, and she knew for certain that she had hit a sore spot with him.

"That's so wonderful to hear. He looks like a sweet boy," she replied kindly, looking at the family picture behind his back. "Now, I truly do need to get on with my work. However, I would like you to keep an eye out on Doctor Reid, since I do not agree that his jumping right back into work is a good idea." She rose to her feet and took a deep breath, giving him a small smile. "And tell Haley that I said hello, as well as thanking her for her concern around Elise."

Before he could say another word, Erin straightened her back and left the office, a tiny smile still on her lips. As she passed by the break room, she saw Penelope peek her head out, giving her a little wave, and she dipped her head in acknowledgement before leaving the bullpen and making her way back to her office, almost certain that she heard familiar footsteps behind her as she entered. "Do you have a moment to talk, Ma'am?"

She turned and raised an eyebrow at Penelope's almost eager look, giving her a small nod. "What do you need?" she asked as she gave Helen a knowing smirk. Her assistant giggled a little as they went into her inner office, and she watched Penelope close the door as she took a seat behind her desk.

"I just wanted to touch base and see how Elise was doing. I hope that things are going better."

There was a nervous air about the young woman, as if she thought that Erin wouldn't answer her. The smile on her lips softened a little as she pulled out her phone and opened her pictures, flipping through to the ones that David had taken of her and Elise last night. Choosing the best one, she showed it to Penelope before gazing at it with a little bit of wonder. "She's still not back to full activity, yet, but she's babbling a lot more, and getting very close to walking. Which means that I want to wrap her up in a blanket and keep her safe."

"She is beautiful, and I can't believe how much she looks like you, but with Dave's dark hair."

Erin nodded as she let out a soft sigh and then set the phone back on her desk. "I think that she favors my son, really, but Alan always said that Bruce looked like me, so maybe you're right. And she loves the stuffed tiger that you got her. I know that we wrote a thank you note, but it's still nice to tell people that their gifts are being enjoyed."

Penelope grinned as she nodded. "I couldn't resist when I saw it in the shop. And since I don't have any kids to spoil, well, I thought that I'd give her something." Erin nodded as she looked over at the mound of paperwork that she had to complete, some of it still over the case in Atlanta. "That is not a happy look."

"Because I have so much paperwork to finish, and not enough hours in the day. Doctor Reid's ordeal has led to so much red tape to work through."

Penelope's brow knit together as she looked down into her lap. "I've never been so frightened, ma'am. Having to see him almost die, well, it shook me."

Erin felt her eyes well up with tears as she nodded. "If you need to, there is no shame in talking with one of the Bureau's therapists. That is why we have them on staff, after all."

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you. No one mentioned that that might be an option."

Erin frowned quickly before forcing her face into a placid smile. "That is always an option available to all our employees. I will make certain that I remind Aaron of that option when we see each other next. Now, I'm sorry, but I truly do need to get to work." Penelope nodded and got up, leaving the office with a smile on her face that Erin couldn't help but copy, even if the woman couldn't see the expression.


	52. Chapter 52

Erin shook her head as she looked at the email she had received from Agent Prentiss. She knew that something had to be truly wrong for the woman to be reaching out to her, since it seemed like she had figured out the agenda that Erin had hired her to fill, even though she had been trying to keep things tightly under control. Perhaps the call to her shortly after the team had arrived in Houston had been a little much, but given the fact that Aaron had not taken her up on her request to at least have Doctor Reid speak with a therapist, and she could see that he was spiraling out of control, even as he tried to appear normal, it has seemed necessary. And if she could see that, when she didn't even work with the young man in a day to day basis, then she knew that Jason and Aaron could see the same thing.

Letting out a deep sigh, she opened the email and quickly read through the terse text, knowing that it must have taken a lot for Agent Prentiss to even think about mentioning that she was having issues with Doctor Reid's behavior. There wasn't a good solution to the issue, and she shook her head as she picked up her office phone and dialed home, knowing that David should be up in the study, finalizing the last edits on his book before it would be turned over to the publishers to head to the next step of publication. "Is everything okay, Erin?"

"No hello, David?"

"Not when you call me from your work line early in the day. That has almost always meant that you're experiencing some issue at work that you can't work out on your own. So, what is wrong?"

"I think that Doctor Reid has a problem, and I don't know if it's with alcohol or drugs, but it is starting to effect his work, and I don't know how to address the issue. I've already raised my concerns with Aaron, since Jason won't listen to me even on a good day, and he rebuffed me. And I tried to have Agent Prentiss keep an eye out on Doctor Reid by calling her to say as much when they arrived in Houston, but she told me she would do no such thing, that spying was not what she was hired to do. And before you even say it, David, I know. She has a valid point. But the Director is breathing down my neck about this issue, since I'm not the only one who has noticed the problem. And I know that no one on his team is going to breathe a word of it to anyone else, since they know that might bring scrutiny to them, and that is the last thing that Jason wants, and Aaron follows his lead, even though he is the SAC. And I'm just so frustrated, David."

She raked one hand through her hair, and let out a deep sigh, listening to him chuckle a little on the other end of the line. "I can tell that you're trying not to roll your eyes at me, _stellina_. But I get why you're frustrated, and wanted break the tension a little. Would you like me to call Hotch and have a small discussion with him?"

"No, that will just make things worse, because he'll believe that I'm trying to interfere more than I am, even though I'd love to get Jason away from Alpha team. It's becoming clearer to me that he is just squashing all the talent that's on that team, and things are getting too sloppy for my liking. But until he does something that I can suspend him for, my hands are tied, since he has seniority and some powerful people on his side."

"Then you are in a bit of a conundrum, aren't you?"

"Hence, why I called you. I just need to talk it out with you, and hope that you can give me some advice so that I can avoid a larger mess in the future." Erin leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling. "I just can't seem to find a way out of this quagmire."

"Because there really isn't a way out of this, Erin, not without accruing more ire with Hotch and Jason. You might need to be the heavy and get IAB involved, but that should be your last option. IAB can break a person's career, because that is a stigma that sticks with a person if word gets out."

She sighed once more, nodding a little at his words as she rubbed her stomach absently. "I know, David, which is why I've been trying to get Aaron to move before it has to come to that. So, do you think that I should call Agent Prentiss or email her back?"

"I would email her, since that's how she chose to reach out to you. Just, be mindful of your words that you write, since they can be used against you if they're taken the wrong way." He paused and she drew in a short breath to respond when he spoke once more. "And Erin? I love you, and will support you no matter what decision you make regarding Doctor Reid and IAB. I'll make us something delicious for supper, since Alan has the kids this week, and we can be a little more adventurous."

"If by that, you mean morels, then yes, please. I will see you tonight. I love you so much." Erin listened to him kiss into the phone and replied with the same gesture before hanging up and turning back to her computer.

_Thank you for reaching out to me with your concerns, Agent Prentiss. As I had mentioned in our earlier phone conversation, I, too, am concerned about Doctor Reid and how he is handling returning to his job following what happened to him. I understand that he wants to dive right back into work, feeling like it will make everything better. However, your concerns are shared by others, and you need to impress it upon Agent Hotchner or Agent Gideon that unless they address the issue, there could be greater consequences for everyone involved, not just Doctor Reid. If you have any further concerns, do not hesitate to reach out to me once more, and we will discuss them at length._

She read her words back a few times, making certain that there was nothing that could come back to haunt her before sending it off, making certain to BCC Director Shepperd, so that he was aware that she was trying to take care of the situation before it devolved even further. With that done, she began to focus on the rest of the work that she had to do, trying not to think about how Agent Prentiss would react to her email. Just when she was about to start reviewing the last case that the Red Cell team had been on, her cell phone buzzed, and she picked it up from her desk to see that David had texted her a new picture of himself and Elise. A pang of longing stabbed her heart as she thought about being home with her family, knowing that Elise was growing too quickly, and so was Jack.

Smiling sadly, she forwarded the picture to Haley, knowing that she liked to be kept abreast of what was happening with Elise. Erin wondered if she had told Aaron that they were texting back and forth, but decided that she didn't really care, since it was nice to be able to tell Elise bits and pieces about her half-brother, and knowing that Haley was doing the same for Jack. _She's getting so big! Let me guess, she's trying to walk?_ The smile on her face became happier as she tapped out a reply, finding the distraction welcome as her thoughts turned to Doctor Reid and the situation that he was currently going through.


	53. Chapter 53

"You were right."

Erin frowned as she looked up from the report she had been revising, pulling her reading glasses off her face so that she could focus on Aaron a little easier as she indicated for him to take a seat in front of her. He complied, and she took a deep breath through her nose as she tried to find the right way to respond to him. "About?" she finally asked, folding her hands together as she watched his face carefully.

"About Reid. About his problem. Things came to a head in New Orleans, and Gideon has taken things under control. He didn't explain to me what would happen next, just that we wouldn't have anything to worry about any longer. I felt it my duty to inform you so that you can stop harassing my team. We don't need you hovering over us like an angel of doom."

Her nostrils flared a little at that description, but felt like she appropriately controlled her microreactions to his hostile words. "The only reason that I had to hover was to ensure that appropriate measures were taken. I know that you feel your team is a family, that much is obvious from the evaluations that you write, but you can't make excuses for them because of your feelings. That just leads to heartbreak and issues later on down the road. And I think we both know that Jason is not adapting well to things since the Bale incident. You're just still willing to cover for him. There are a lot of talented agents in the BAU who could be filling his position with the elite team, and it might be time to suggest that he move on to a purely teaching role with the FBI."

Aaron practically glared at her for those words, and she let out a long, slow, breath as she arched her eyebrow at him. "I think that you know I will never suggest that to Jason. He is just as good an agent as he's always been, and Reid will need his mentor now more than ever. I know that you just want to split our team up, but it won't work, Erin."

She shook her head. "That is the last thing that I want to happen, Aaron. Honestly. But you need to also take an honest look at the team and their dynamic. You are perilously close to being split up by forces above my paygrade, and I am doing everything in my power to make certain that does not happen, even though you all seem to think that I am some monster hellbent on destroying you."

A guilty blush stained his cheeks briefly before he cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. "Well, it's not like you've done anything to disabuse people of that notion."

"Touché," she murmured as she leaned back in her chair, staring at him. "Is there anything else that you'd like to discuss with me?"

"Not that I can think of, Erin. Just, leave my team to me. I think that Jason and I can adequately deal with the issues that arise as long as you can act as our buffer for the Director." He rose to his feet and strode over to the door, pausing in the doorway to look at her once more. "Seriously, everything will be fine as long as you don't meddle."

Then he turned on his heel and stalked out of her office, closing the door firmly behind him, causing her to flinch a little. There was definitely a slight threat to those words, and she didn't know how to take them, since this was the first time that she had floated the idea of Jason moving laterally into a new position rather than outright retire. Erin had thought that that might go over a little better than suggesting the man retire, but it was clear that Aaron would hear nothing about shaking up their team dynamics in order to make things better for everyone.

Shaking her head a little, Erin tried to concentrate on her work, but her lower lip began to tremble a little as her mind kept replaying the intimation from Aaron that she was a monster that the entire bullpen hated because she didn't give anyone a reason to like her. She knew, deep down, that that was not completely true, but the darts of his words still stung more than she cared to admit. Finally, knowing that it was a fruitless task, she turned away from the door and picked up the latest picture of her children, rubbing her thumb over Elise's face before focusing on her Brucie. He was growing up like a weed, and she didn't know how much longer he'd be her little boy. That opened the floodgates and she allowed herself to cry as quietly as she could since she didn't want to attract any further attention on herself. She allowed herself five minutes of self-pity before she drew in a deep breath, delicately swiped away the remaining tears from her face so that she wouldn't disturb her makeup, and then sat up and turned back to her work. She was surprised at how well that had worked, and she made a mental note to make certain that she tried that in the future when she was at work.

Her email dinged with a new notification, and she focused on the monitor, calling up her emails and feeling her eyes widen as she saw that it was from the Director. Her hand shook a little as she clicked on the message, not knowing why he might be contacting her, though she tried to tell herself that if it was truly important, he would have called her. And then she let out a breath of relief she saw that he was just getting back in touch with her about the whole Doctor Reid situation, thanking her for keeping a handle on things as they navigated how to deal with what could potentially be a tinder box of scandal. She typed out a quick reply to him, thanking him for his discretion when it came to this matter, since she knew that it wasn't the easiest to relinquish control like that.

Once that was replied to, she scrolled through her personal email, seeing that she had messages from Haley, her mother, and David's sister. Glancing at her watch, she smiled to see that she was a bit ahead of schedule and would be able to take a few minutes to engage with her personal correspondence. She decided to start with the email from David's sister, since that would be a quicker email to deal with. Then she wrote her mother back, giving her an update on Elise's progress before reminding her that they were welcome to come visit at any time. Finally, she decided to tackle Haley's email.

_I hate to reach out to you like this, Erin, but I have to ask. You might very well be my only hope. I am having so much trouble with these hours that Aaron is working, and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Jack is growing up so quickly without his father, since they're out on the road so often, and the cases just seem to be getting darker and darker. That darkness is seeping into his heart, even though I know that he is trying to tell me that he's fine. So, if it ever comes up, could you please talk to the Director about transferring him to a department that would give him more regular hours. I know, it's probably impossible, but I had to reach out, just in case._

Erin felt her heart sink a little as she read those words, hearing the pain behind them and knowing that Haley had a very valid point about Aaron and his hours. It would be difficult, but it might also just be the best thing for Alpha team to get Jason and Aaron to laterally move into different positions in the FBI and allow the rest of the team to flourish without their heavy hands. She just needed the perfect opportunity for that to happen.


	54. Chapter 54

Erin felt like she had been entirely right to bide her time over the last two and a half months, watching as Alpha team became more and more contentious. There was never a moment where they stepped out of line large enough for her to even broach the topic of splitting them up, and she knew that David found her increasing tension grow by the day as she waited for one of them to make a mistake that would necessitate drastic measures. And then, she received the phone call she had least wanted, after already changing into more comfortable clothing for the evening. Frowning, she handed David her glass of red wine and picked up her work phone, the frown deepening when she saw that it was Director Shepperd on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" she asked shortly as she rose to her feet and slipped out of the living room, ruffling Bruce's hair as she walked past him and headed towards the study, needing the empty space to talk, somehow knowing that it was not a pleasure call for the Director. "Director Shepperd?"

"There's been an incident that you need to be aware of, Erin. Apparently, Agent Gideon has been accused of murdering a friend, and the police are currently looking for him. I believe that Alpha already has knowledge of this crime and are doing all that they can to protect a member of their team, but I have no means of proving that supposition. As of this moment, there's nothing that you can do, as I've already contacted the correct police precinct and have told them not to work with the BAU. This needs to be a completely independent investigation, as anything other than that would smack of interference. They've also agreed to a gag order, and will be keeping all information away from the press for the entirety of the investigation."

"What do you need me to do?"

There was a long pause, and Erin held her breath as she awaited his answer, somehow knowing that she was not about to like his answer. "I need you to do the opposite of what you want to do at this moment. You need to be patient and play the long game. If there is any whiff of scandal, then I will seriously give consideration to your proposal of shifting Agent Gideon to a teaching role and Agent Hotchner to White Collar Crimes. Do you have any idea who you'd like to see fill that power vacuum, should it come?"

"There are a few people that I can think if who would fill their roles quite nicely, but I'll have to do some background research before I come to you with my shortlist of candidates. Do you really think that it might come to that?" She tried to keep the anticipation out of her voice at the thought that Jason might soon be out of her hair, one way or another.

"I want you to be prepared, just in case it is." She nodded as her mind began to spin through possibilities of who to insert into those key positions. "All right, I need to go touch base with Agent Hotchner once more, and find out if he knows where Agent Gideon is holed up and how the team is doing with staying away from the case."

Erin let out a quick little laugh as she shook her head. "There is no way that they've taken themselves off the case, no matter what you've told them. Aaron has the tenacity of a bulldog, and the team follows his lead. Which, normally, would be all right, as it leads to them getting the results they've always gotten. In this case, however, it could be have quite the detrimental effect."

"I know, that is precisely what I'm worried about. I'll touch base with you tomorrow morning, and we'll go from there."

"All right, thank you, Director Shepperd." They hung up, and Erin rubbed her face with her hand, knowing that she was in for a long day tomorrow, whatever happened. Heading over to the oversized leather chair that was David's, she curled up in it and tried to get her bearings about her once more. This was a far bigger issue than she had been expecting, and she couldn't begin to see a way out of it. Picking up her phone once more, she called Helen, knowing that her assistant would arrive before she did in the morning, since she was always early.

"Erin! Is everything all right?"

She cleared her throat as she lifted her eyebrows a little. How to properly answer that question? she thought as she rubbed her stomach with her free hand. "With me, yes. However, there is an issue that is arising in the Alpha team, and we might be facing a few personnel changes in the coming weeks. I would like you, please, to pull the files on Katie Cole and Andi Swann. My shortlist is going to begin with those two women, even though they're not attached to the BAU at the moment."

"I can do that, yes. Do you have any idea what is going on?"

"I do, but I don't think that I can say anything at the moment. We'll talk more tomorrow, when I have a better handle on the situation. Also? Do not expect anyone from Alpha to be in tomorrow, which means that Beta and Red Cell will be looking at heading out on any cases that need our immediate attention. I just know that that is going to be a clusterfuck."

"Agent Hotchner seems to be good at creating those."

"If only it was him that was causing this mess, Helen. Like I said, I'll touch base with you tomorrow as soon as I get in. Have a good evening."

"You as well, Erin! Try not to dwell on the fact that they're creating headaches for you." Before she could say another word, Helen had hung up, and Erin shook her head a little as she tossed the phone onto the table and made herself more comfortable in the chair. A few minutes later, the door to the study opened, and she listened to see who had decided to join her, smiling when she recognized the sound of David's footfalls on the floor as he made his way over to her, carrying Elise.

"What was that about?"

She scooted over in the chair, making room for her partner to sit before taking hold of her daughter, bringing her close to her chest as she took a few deep breaths. "Jason is in trouble, and it looks like it could be rather serious. From what the Director told me, he's looking at a murder charge."

"Jason?"

"I know, I was surprised, too. Director Shepperd is doing as much damage control as he possibly can right now, but if this blows up in our faces, I'm looking at replacing two agents in the team. I've asked Helen to pull the personnel files on Katie Cole and Andi Swann. I think that either of them would be a good addition to the team."

"And who would fill the other hole that you think might appear?"

She glanced at him and gave him a small smile. "I'd like it to be you. You don't have to give me an answer right away. This could come to nothing. But I'd like you to keep it in mind, just in case I need you to step up?"

He drew in a long breath as he curled his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his chest. "I will think about it, Erin. Though it would be hard to give up all this time with Elise. This has been one of the happiest times of my life, _stellina_ , because you've given me the gift of raising a child. Even though I know that you want to be here with us more. If we're both working, we're going to miss out on some things."

"I know, and that was what I missed with the older kids, too. I just, I'm not ready to give up this job, not when I can still do some good." She lifted her face and pressed a tender kiss against her lips. "Just tell me that I'm not crazy for this little plan, to have you back with me. We didn't exactly work well together the last time."

David chuckled as he nodded. "Well, last time, we weren't sleeping together. I think that will make a small difference." She nodded and kissed him once more, resting her head on his chest as they began to breath in unison. "But if it comes to that, I will step up into that role once more." As he pressed his lips to the crown of her head, Erin sighed, wondering just where the team would go from here.


	55. Chapter 55

This was the part of the job that Erin always hated. She needed to have a heart to heart conversation with Emily in order to touch base with her, and get her to see that it was so important that she gather information on the team so that she could build her case a little more fully for the Director. Things had nearly come to a head while the team had been working to clear Jason's name, and while it had come to a conclusion, it was not one that reflected well on the FBI in general, and her department in particular. Director Shepperd hadn't seemed too put out over that, since Jason had been cleared, which rankled her more than she cared to let on, though she knew that David could read her heart and knew that she was stewing about it.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, she glanced at her watch once more, wondering what was keeping Agent Prentiss, and she shook her head as she tried to focus on the report she was currently drafting for the Director, knowing that it would be nearly impossible for her to remove all of the biases she had against Aaron and Jason. Still, she barreled forward, knowing that she needed to get this worked on before she had her little discussion with Agent Prentiss. Things were already thorny between them, as the woman had taken to the team so easily, and as a result had been loathe to spy on them for Erin. Which was a good thing, she could admit that to herself. It just didn't fit into her plans for what she believed to be necessary to avoid Alpha imploding at the seams.

"Chief Strauss, Agent Hotchner is here to see you."

Erin frowned deeply as she looked up at Helen. "I wasn't expecting him."

"I think that was the point of his coming here. He wants to throw you off balance."

Nodding, she drew in a deep breath before sliding off her reading glasses and setting them aside. "If Agent Prentiss arrives while Agent Hotchner is still here, distract her. I'll need a buffer of time between these two visits."

"Of course." Helen gave her a tight smile before leaving the office, pulling the door closed behind her. Erin listened to the low sounds of her addressing Aaron, using the brief seconds to prepare herself for the encounter to come. Then Aaron was stalking into her office, closing the door firmly behind him, a stony look on his face. "May I help you, Agent Hotchner?"

"I've been reviewing your evaluations of myself and my team. You are still hellbent on tearing us apart, aren't you?"

Her cheeks blazed with anger at the tone of his voice, and she had to swallow back the urge to reply back with just as much venom in her voice. "I'm sorry?" she finally bit out, her eyes narrowing as she regarded the way he paced back and forth in front of her desk.

Those seemed to be the entirely wrong words to say, as he launched into a diatribe about how wrong her assessments of Alpha were, his voice controlled but infuriated as he refuted every single observation that she had made. Erin found her throat tightening from the effort to keep from yelling at him to stop, but then he started laying into her, trying to profile her and her family. "And it is no wonder that you have a picture of your son holding our daughter front and center on your desk. You favor your son because he is a constant reminder to you that once upon a time you were faithful to your husband, until you cuckolded us both with some bullshit story that David Rossi fathered our daughter."

Unable to hear any more bile drip from his mouth, Erin shot to her feet and slammed her palms on her desk as she shouted, "Agent Hotchner! That is more than enough! If you cannot be civil to me, then you need to leave this office right now. Quit trying to make the truth fit your narrow definition of the word. David is Elise's father, he has been raising her since she was born, and while I know he is your best friend, he is my partner. Do I make myself clear?"

Aaron's nostrils flared dangerously before he gave her a sharp nod. "As crystal, Erin. Just know, that I have my eye on you."

"Likewise," she shot back as she watched him stalk from the room, closing the door with enough force to rattle the pictures on her walls. Letting out a long breath, she sank back into her chair and buried her face in her hands, trying to find her calming center. A sharp knocking on her door caught her attention a few moments later, and she looked up before saying, "Come in!"

Helen slipped into her office and gave her a sympathetic look as she approached her desk. "Is everything all right, Erin?" she asked once she had reached her side, and she nodded. "Are you certain? I could hear Agent Hotchner haranguing you for three minutes straight. I'll tell the Director that, if you need me to be a witness."

"I think everything will work out, Helen. Just, keep watch for Agent Prentiss. I need to center myself before I can even think about talking to her." Helen nodded before reaching out and patting her shoulder gently.

As soon as Helen was gone, Erin called up her emails and began to read through some of her personal correspondence, smiling at the letter her mother had written, taking a moment to reply to her before returning to the report she was writing. Twenty minutes later, Helen was knocking on her door once more, and she knew that it was time to talk to Agent Prentiss. Getting up from behind her desk, Erin went around to sit against the front of it, knowing that it was a power move, hoping that it would unnerve the woman enough to get her to agree with what she was about to ask. "Enter."

"Agent Prentiss is here, ma'am."

"Thank you, Helen," she replied as she crossed her ankles and allowed the cool mask that she wore around everyone in the office to slip into place. Agent Prentiss walked in with a slightly tentative air, and she allowed a small smile to soften her features as she gestured towards a chair in front of her, watching the woman nod before taking a seat in it as Helen closed the door. "Agent Prentiss, I'm certain that you're probably wondering why I've called you in here today."

"Yes, Ma'am," she replied, her voice quiet, almost meek, and she tried not to smirk.

"Your team is in serious trouble, and it is going to fall to us to keep it together. I know that you have had issues with reporting back to me anything out of place, but now is not the time to even consider having such qualms. Had what happened with Agent Gideon gotten out to the press? You would be using your mother's influence to get you another job as the rest of the team was farmed out to different departments. This situation has become much more serious, and it is past time that Agent Hotchner and Agent Gideon find a new position in the FBI. And you are going to help me see that that happens."

Agent Prentiss swallowed thickly as she shifted her gaze away from Erin, as if she thought that by meeting her eyes she'd be more likely to say yes. Clearing her throat, Erin leaned forward, getting into her peripheral vision, and the woman's shoulders slumped a little as she met her gaze once more. Nodding twice sharply, Agent Prentiss rose to her feet and exited her office as quickly as possible, closing the door behind her. As Erin allowed herself to relax, she found herself left with the distinct feeling that this was far from over and wondered what would happen next.


	56. Chapter 56

Her fears were proven right three weeks later when the team had gone to Flagstaff to deal with a serial killer on a small college campus. Erin had had a feeling that the case would not go well from the very beginning, and as she had watched the way events had unfolded, she felt that sinking feeling in her heart grow and grow. Everything leading up to the arrest of Tubbs had been too easy, as if everything had just fallen into place like a neat line of dominoes, and that never boded well. Which is exactly what happened when the man had lawyered up and been released. Only for both Tubbs and the young woman acting to get his attention to end up dead with two of their best agents looking on and not stepping in before things went to Hell in a handbasket.

She hadn't slept well that night, knowing that she would be walking into a shitshow the next morning. Director Shepperd had already contacted her at home to let her know that she was expected in his office at eight, a full hour earlier than her normal start time. Which, in turn, had led to her being lectured for a full hour on how she needed to get control of her teams, otherwise he would step in, and she would not like the results. It had been draining on her, and she trudged back down to her office, feeling like she was on the knife's edge between tears and rage.

"I know that you don't want to hear this, Erin, but Flagstaff's Chief of Police is on the phone, waiting to talk to you. And yes, I realise that it is six in the morning there, but he specifically woke up early to talk with you before the team arrived home. Have you heard from anyone else?"

"If you mean Aaron, then no. I think that he's assuming that we haven't heard about how badly this case went, and will try to spin it in a way that won't result in the team being reprimanded. As soon as I've finished this call with him, I'm going to need either a large cup of coffee, a large glass of wine, or both."

"We'll go with coffee, that will be healthier for you here at work. I'll even go to your favourite cafe and get you one of those delicious pastries that you adore so much to go along with your usual coffee order."

"I suppose that you're right. Wish me luck for this conversation, I do not believe that it will go well, given the direction my talk with the Director went." Helen nodded, giving her a tiny smile as Erin slipped into her office and sank down into her chair, rubbing her face briefly before picking up her phone and holding the receiver to her ear as she touched the flashing light. "This is Section Chief Erin Strauss. Please, let me first apologise for the appalling behaviour that my team exhibited on this case and that I completely understand your rightful anger at the way this was handled."

That seemed to mollify the man somewhat, since the tenor of their conversation was much less tense than she had thought it might be before she had started the conversation. Still, they were in discussions for over three hours, and she felt thoroughly exhausted by the time it was finished. "I have more bad news, Erin," Helen said as she bustled into her office.

"What could possibly make this day worse?" she asked as she rubbed her forehead, trying to stave off the stress headache she could feel building.

"We have one hour to get lunch and be back here. While you were on the phone with Flagstaff, the Director called and informed me that Agent Hotchner's team is due to arrive back shortly after one, and that he has been told to see you first."

Erin groaned as she pressed her hands against her face. "I have to be the heavy. Great. He's going to hate me even more for this."

"Are you firing him?"

She let out a mirthless laugh as she shook her head, pulling her purse out of the bottom drawer before standing up and joining Helen in the doorway. "I wish that I could. But no, that would raise more issues than I want to deal with at this time. I'll be suspending him for two weeks without pay while I review where the best place for him in the FBI might be. At least Haley will be happy with me, since I fully intend to recommend him for White Collar Crimes, and that will see him home more often to help take care of Jack."

"And what about the others?"

She shook her head. "Aaron is squarely taking the blame for this fiasco, since he was the one in charge." They stepped into the elevator and Erin fell quiet, not wanting to discuss this matter in front of any gossiping ears. Helen seemed to understand as she directed the conversation into more mundane work issues as they made their way down to the canteen, since there was no time for her café now. By the time their meal was finished, Erin felt more anger than sadness, knowing what she had to do, and as soon as they were back upstairs, she shut herself in her office and prepared to confront Aaron. She knew that it was imperative that she remain calm and collected, since she didn't want him to run to Director Shepperd and accuse her of impropriety.

"Agent Hotchner is here, ma'am."

She looked up to see Helen in her doorway, giving her a tight nod before smoothing her skirt down her thighs and drawing in a deep breath as he stalked over to her desk. "Erin, listen…"

"No, Agent Hotchner, you listen. I have been on the phone with the Flagstaff Arizona Chief of Police all morning, discussing everything that went wrong there on this case. Is it true that you allowed a mentally unstable young woman to confront the man you believed to be the unsub?" He nodded. "And then, even with two agents right there, you allowed her to stab him before taking her own life?"

"It was not the outcome that we were hoping for, no, ma'am."

"It wasn't the outcome you were hoping for?" she asked incredulously, watching him flinch. "I had hoped that I would hear a much different explanation than that. Give me your badge, you're suspended for two weeks without pay."

"Erin?"

"You heard me. And if it were solely up to me, Aaron, you would never get these credentials back," she said lowly as he tossed the leather wallet onto her desk in disgust. "Use the next two weeks to think about where you'd like to go from here, as it won't be with the BAU any longer."

"Always a pleasure, Erin," he muttered as he turned on his heel and stomped from the room, slamming the door behind him. She shook her head as she picked up the credentials and slipped them into her desk drawer. That had gone a little better than she had thought it would, since he hadn't truly gotten angry at her, but she knew that she would never see the end of it, now that she had directly taken action against Alpha Team, and she wondered just what this might mean for the future.


	57. Chapter 57

It had been a long two weeks of custodials for Alpha Team, and Erin had endured the small glares and whispered words behind her back from them as they all awaited Agent Hotchner's return. Erin had spoken with Haley a few times, glad to know that she was, indeed, happy with the fact that Aaron might be shifting to a different position in the Bureau, if not to the private sector all together, depending on how their meeting went that morning. And then, she was headed out to Milwaukee, taking Aaron's spot on the team for one case to get a feel for how they worked together, to see who she would choose to replace Aaron.

Clearing her throat a little, she unlocked Aaron's office door and entered, glancing over at Jason's office to see if he had shown up yet, frowning a little when she saw that the lights were still off. He should have arrived by now, since the team would be heading out on the case as soon as she had finished speaking with Aaron. After all, she had seen Agent Jareau and Penelope gathering in the conference room already, preparing for the briefing that would happen while she was otherwise engaged. Letting out a long breath, she took a seat on the sofa and smoothed her skirt down her thighs as she waited for Aaron to make his appearance.

"Who unlocked my door?"

Her head shot up as she affixed a flat mask on her face in order not to antagonize the man before their conversation even started. "I did, Aaron. Please, have a seat."

Aaron frowned as he set his things on his desk before leaning against it as he crossed his arms over his chest. She knew that it was a defensive move, but still, she tried not to let that antagonize her as she took a deep breath, waiting for him to say something. To her shock, his next words were more measured than she had expected. "I take it that this is in regards to my transfer request?"

"It is. Have you considered, where, specifically that you'd like to be transferred to?"

"I thought that I would have my choice of positions."

She let out a soft breath as she smiled a little at him. "I will certainly take into consideration where you'd like to go. Though White Collar Crimes is always looking for agents of your calibre, and that would allow you to be home at the same time every day. That would make Haley happy."

"Since when does my wife's happiness factor into your decisions, Erin?"

"Since I've had to be away from my own daughter more than I'd like as a result of the recklessness that certain teams engage in."

He looked ready to say something in rebuttal when a knock came at the open office door. Turning her head, she was surprised to see Emily Prentiss standing there, a tense look on her face. Erin felt herself frown as she tried to work out why she would be there, when she should be in the briefing, only for the woman to start to speak to Aaron. "I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that I'm glad you're coming back to the BAU, sir. This team needs you, more than you might realise."

There was a finality to her words that Erin didn't particularly understand, and she could tell that Aaron was perturbed as well. "Are you going somewhere, Emily?"

"I'm taking the entrance exam for the foreign service. And before you try to talk me out of it, well, Garcia got to me first and tried to convince me to stay. If she can't persuade someone, no one can. It was a pleasure working with you. Ma'am." Emily gave Erin a small nod before turning and leaving the office, leaving in her wake the faint scent of a familiar perfume and the feeling that everything was rapidly spinning out of control. Not that she could let that show. Aaron would pounce on that hint of vulnerability and use it to his advantage in a heartbeat.

"Well, that certainly makes things interesting. Are you still planning on going out in the field with the team? I can step in for one case, that wouldn't affect my transfer request. And do you even have any field work experience?"

She knew that he was needling her, and yet she couldn't hold herself back from snapping at him. "If I have to hold the team's hand for one case, then so be it. I have every faith in my capabilities to lead them just as well as you and Jason, if not better." He gave her a bitter smile, and she tightened her lips into a thin line as she rose to her feet and straightened her sweater as she regarded him carefully. "Think very carefully about your future, Aaron. There is still time for me to change the decision that I want to make."

As she turned to leave, Aaron took one last shot at her. "Make certain you watch your back. You wouldn't want to leave Elise motherless."

Her spine stiffened at the cheap blow, but left the office without a retort, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his jibe had gotten beneath her skin. Glancing at her watch, she saw that time was running out, and she hurried to her office, giving Helen a strained smile as she grabbed the overnight bag that David had helped her pack last night. "I know that your fiancé has probably already told you this, but stay safe out there, Erin. We'd all miss you if something went awry."

"I will do my best, Helen. I'm just upset that it's taken this many victims for the police department to call us in. We could have potentially taken care of this much sooner, with fewer deaths." Helen gave her an understanding nod as they went out into the hall and over to the elevators. "Where are you going?"

"You need someone to drive you to the airfield, since Alpha has already left. Don't worry, I contacted the pilot, he knows not to leave without you. But you're going to be two members down, since Agent Gideon never showed up this morning." Erin frowned as she nodded, stepping into the elevator with her assistant. "I'll be holding down the fort here as best I can, though I can only do so much. Is there anything specific that you'd like me to focus on?"

"Making certain that Agents Hotchner and Prentiss do not cause any trouble for the BAU while I handle this case. I have this feeling in my gut that is telling me that something is going to go horribly wrong over the course of this case."

"I can most certainly do that, ma'am." The rest of the ride down to the main level was spent discussing a few other things that would need Helen's attention while she was gone, and still, that feeling of impending doom continued to swim around in her stomach, as if she knew that this was not the end of things, but merely the beginning of a long, drawn out, battle between herself and Alpha team.


	58. Chapter 58

Erin had been right about one thing, this case had quickly gone to hell in a handbasket, including her major gaffe of stepping on the victim's hair, which had nearly caused her to breakdown. To her shock, Aaron had been kind in that moment, the sweet tenderness of him taking time to care for her before focusing on the case once more a balm to her wounded heart. Even the police chief had been conciliatory towards her, which had embarrassed and mollified her, though Agent Morgan had been quick to give her a look of contempt as she passed him by on her way up from the body.

The one spot of levity in the entire case had been when Penelope has asked her to talk dirty to her, and even though she had had to respond like the ice bitch she was supposed to be to them, inside, she had smiled. Still, it had been a long, quiet, plane ride back to Quantico, knowing that she had been defeated and outplayed by Aaron and Emily. The only thing that would be changing was the fact that Jason Gideon would have no role in the BAU ever again, not if she had her say, since he had refused to return any calls from herself, Helen, or the Director.

"Are we headed out for drinks after this?" Agent Morgan asked as the plane taxied down the tarmac. Erin knew, instinctively, that she was not included in that invitation, and the subtle exclusion hurt more than she cared to let on. Taking a deep breath, she began to pack up her belongings into her purse before pulling out her phone, a concerned look crossing her face when she saw that Haley had texted her.

_I can't talk right now, I'm still on the jet with the others. Give me twenty minutes to get back to my office, and then I'll call you straight away._

Not bothering to wait for a reply, shoved the phone into her pocket and watched as the others got up out of their seats and made their way to the exit. She brought up the rear, only for Doctor Reid to look back and give her a small smile. Frowning a little, she caught up to him, wondering what he wanted. "Garcia texted me right before we landed, and said that you needed to catch a ride back to the BAU with us. Did you want me to grab your bag so that you can just get in the SUV? I'd suggest getting in the back, since Hotch will probably drive home, and Morgan always calls shotgun when that happens."

"Thank you for the warning, Doctor Reid," she said quietly as they stepped off the jet, and he nodded before following the men over to the cargo hold. Taking a deep breath, she followed Agents Jareau and Prentiss over to the waiting SUV and watched as they took the very back seats. Drawing in a shallow breath, she slid into the middle row of seats, leaning against the window after she'd fastened her seatbelt. It was going to be a long ride home, and she pulled out her phone to scroll through her pictures of Elise.

"Her daughter is beautiful." Erin smiled at Agent Jareau's not so subtle whisper, but didn't acknowledge what had been said, instead swiping to the next picture, sending it off to Penelope, since Elise was wearing one of the outfits the woman had bought for her.

"That is a cute baby, yeah," Prentiss responded a few seconds later, and Erin's smile grew as she listened to the men pile their bags in the back before clambering into the SUV. Doctor Reid had been correct in his supposition that Aaron would drive, and their eyes met as he started the engine. Somehow, it almost felt like he knew that Haley had reached out to her, and wanted to know what they were going to talk about, and so she looked away from him before slipping her phone back into her purse as she listened to the team pick up the conversation from the jet as she watched the scenery pass by.

Finally, they had arrived back at headquarters, and she was the first one out of the vehicle, grabbing her bag from the back before heading inside and choosing to take the stairs rather than wait for the elevator. It was a good climb up, even if she was in heels, and she sighed a little as she entered her office, sad to see that Helen had already gone home for the day, as it would have been nice to see one truly friendly face there before she went home for the day. After dropping her bag onto the sofa, she trudged over to her desk and sank down into her chair, burying her hands in her hair as she took a look at the picture of her children. She couldn't imagine David or Alan using any of them as bait to lure women to their deaths, and her heart ached for all those women who had died such a brutal death.

Letting out a long breath, Erin pulled out her phone and called Haley back, knowing that something important must have happened for her to text while they were out on a case. "Haley? What's wrong?" she asked when the call connected.

"I just wanted to give you a head's up. Aaron knew that I wanted him to leave this job behind. I know that you were encouraging him to take that position in White Collar Crimes. But the moment he chose to leave us here and go out to you on this latest case, it was my last straw. I, I packed up a few bags for Jack and me, and we're going to be staying at Jessica's until I can get things sorted out. All I know is that Jack was supposed to bring us together, and from the moment I found out I was pregnant, it drove us apart. I love him, Erin. I just can't live with the ghosts of the cases you deal with every week."

Erin could tell that Haley was crying, and she felt a stab of guilt in her heart as she thought about how Elise might have added some strain to their marriage. "Is there anything that David and I can do for you?"

"That is so kind of you to ask, but I think that Jessie will have everything in order. And please, don't feel like this was your fault. There were cracks in our marriage long before we moved back to Quantico from Seattle. Oh, that's Jackers, I have to go. And I'll contact you if there's any change in our situation. Thanks for listening to me."

Before Erin could respond, Haley had ended the call, leaving her in silence. Returning the phone to her purse, she packed up a few things that she would need for the weekend before heading home. Shaking her head a little, Erin couldn't help but feel like this entire case was a fail, even though they had successfully closed the case. There would be a lot of explaining to do to the Director when she arrived back at work on Monday, and she was not looking forward to that conversation. Still, she knew that things would have to change from there on out, if Alpha team truly wanted to stay together, and she had a few inklings on how she would make that happen.


	59. Chapter 59

"How did it go?" David asked as she sank down onto the sofa and curled up against his chest.

"Think of Hell and multiply it by a trillion?" she asked as she took the glass of wine from his hand and sipped at it. "It will be out of my system before I pump in the morning," she said as she handed it back to him. Letting out a disconsolate sigh, Erin let her head come to rest on his chest as she stared unseeingly at the wall. "I stepped on a victim's hair. At least, with the Amerithrax case, I didn't deal with the dead bodies. I've never witnessed that amount of violence in the flesh before. If I could, I would go to the liquor cabinet in your study and drain every bottle dry in an effort to erase the feeling of disgust I have for myself over disrespecting a victim like that. The unsub threw her out like trash, and I treated her the same way."

She started to cry a little, welcoming his hand rubbing up and down her arm in an effort to comfort her. "I won't dismiss the way you're feeling, but I want to ask you something. Did you do it on purpose?"

"No," she whispered, hating that her voice cracked on that small word.

"Then you didn't treat her like trash. You were just human." David wrapped his arm around her waist before pulling her closer to his chest so that he could lean down and press a soft kiss against the top of her head. "And if you tried to drink that much, you'd end up dead, and that would leave me alone with Elise. She needs her _mammina_ by her side for as long as possible."

Erin nodded a little as she yawned, finding herself exhausted from everything that had happened in the last few days. "I hope that Aaron isn't too upset when he arrives home," she mumbled as she started to fall asleep on David's chest.

_"Stellina_ , why would he be upset?"

She stiffened a little as she sat up. "Haley left him. This was the final straw for her, and she packed up some things for her and Jack before heading over to her sister's house. That's why I was even later than I expected to be, darling, since we were discussing her decision, and she was trying to convince me that Elise and I had no bearing in her decision."

Erin was about to say more when a heavy knock on their door caught both their attention. "It is ten in the evening. Who the fuck is at our door?" David asked as he got to his feet. Erin felt the blood drain from her face as she knew with sudden clarity who was there. Popping to her feet, she scurried after David, finally catching up to him as he reached the front door and wrenched it open. "What?" he growled out before realizing that it was Aaron. "Why are you here so late at night?"

"I need to talk to your fiancée," Aaron replied shortly, pushing past David to enter their home. Erin had never seen him so angry before, not even when he had confronted her about the story that she had told Director Shepperd about Elise's parentage. "What poison have you been dripping in Haley's ear while I was out on cases, you harpy?"

She shrank away from him, suddenly glad that the older children were with Alan that week, so that they wouldn't hear this argument. "I've told her nothing, Aaron. Why?"

"You know damn well why, Erin! She's left me! I went home, wanting to hold on to my son, to explain to her why I was staying in the BAU, only to find an empty house. She didn't leave me a note, didn't text me, nothing. And now she won't answer my calls! Is she here? Did she flee to one place that she knew would destroy me if she was given sanctuary?"

His voice had risen with each word as he backed Erin into a corner, and she desperately looked for David, wondering when he would be stepping in to save her. "You need to take a few deep breaths and step away from my _bella_ Erin, Hotch. Haley is not here, but even if she was here, I wouldn't tell you that. You're too angry to think clearly."

David slowly stepped in between them, one hand extended in front of him to gently push Aaron backwards, and she gasped a little when Aaron's eyes narrowed in fury. "I am not angry!" he bellowed, and Erin closed her eyes out of reflex, praying that Elise would remain sleeping. "I am furious! You are keeping me from my wife and children! Both of you! And you're supposed to be my best friend, Dave?"

For a moment, everything was quiet, and Erin's eyes snapped open to see that Aaron and David were staring each other down. Before either one of them could answer Aaron's bitter question, Elise began to wail, and Erin's face fell as she watched Aaron's head whipped around to stare at the staircase. It felt like time had slowed to a crawl as she looked between him and David before slipping away from the wall and running up the stairs, heading straight for Elise's nursery. There was only one thought in her mind in that moment, protecting her daughter from the anger that was so clear on Aaron's face.

She was out of breath by the time she reached the nursery, and her hand fumbled with the doorknob, struggling to open it in her haste. She heard heavy steps on the stairs behind her and she sent up a quick prayer of protection as she finally got the door open and pushed her way inside. Elise had managed to pull herself into a standing position as she wailed, and Erin felt her heart crack as she went over to her side and scooped her baby into her arms, holding her close as she began to murmur soothingly in her ear, rubbing her back in small circles.

"My god, she looks like my brother."

Those soft words were the last that she expected to hear, and she turned to look fearfully at Aaron as he slowly stalked over to their sides. Once more, she shrank away from him, and he frowned at the movement, stepping ever closer to them. "I think that she looks like David's sister," she tried to lie, but it sounded weak to her own ears. From the withering look he gave her, Erin knew that the lie was fast coming to an end, and tears began to tremble on her eyelashes once more. "Please, Aaron. Don't scare her anymore tonight."

He nodded jerkily as David finally arrived in the nursery, coming over to Erin and wrapping his arm around her waist as they focused their attention on Aaron. She didn't know what he would do next, but she was so fearful that it would be something she didn't like. He had been so angry, and rightfully so, but she didn't want that anger to bleed into Elise. "And you're telling the truth? Haley and Jack are not here?"

"I wouldn't lie to you about that, Aaron," she said quietly as she pressed her lips against Elise's head, kissing it absently as she watched Aaron. He frowned, but nodded, turning on his heel and leaving the nursery. As soon as she heard the front door slam shut, she allowed her shoulders to sag a little as she cradled Elise ever closer to her chest. "I'm taking Elise into our room, I need to have her between us to sleep, David." He nodded before kissing her delicately.

"I'll go lock up downstairs and then join you. And Erin?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, and everything will be all right, I promise." She nodded, giving him a shaky smile as they left the nursery together, trying to find it in herself not to break down in tears in front of Elise, not wanting to scare her any more that night.


	60. Chapter 60

"Sorry I'm late, Haley. The budget meeting ran late, and then traffic was a nightmare. Thankfully, my afternoon is free, so we don't have to worry about time, unless you have to."

Haley gave Erin a small smile as Erin slid into the booth and shrugged off her raincoat. "I know how busy the BAU keeps people, believe me. And I have nowhere to be, Jessie is watching Jack for me. She swears that she loves being able to spend more time with us, but since Aaron has decided to move into an apartment, we're back to only seeing each other when she can come by after work."

Erin nodded. "I can't believe that our babies are almost two already. The time has flown by so quickly. I, I think that Aaron knows, well, more concretely knows that Elise is his. He finally got a good look at her after that awful case in Milwaukee."

She perused the menu as their server came up to them, allowing Haley to place her order first before ordering the first thing that sounded good to her. Haley gave her a small frown as the woman left their table to put their order in. "He had no right to go over and harass you in your home! Really, that is just beyond impolite."

She shrugged a little as she fiddled with her coffee cup. "That was an awful case. I don't think I'll ever truly get the images of what happened to those women out of my mind."

"I probably won't either." Erin shot her a sharp look, and Haley laughed mirthlessly. "Aaron was careless and left some of the crime scene photos face up. I, I didn't recognize what I was seeing at first, and then…" Haley took a deep breath as she blinked away rapidly forming tears. "That is why I wanted him to get out of the BAU. Because seeing those things, day in and day out, it changes a person. But he swears that this job is who he is."

Erin nodded as she sipped at her coffee. "He is an extremely honorable man, and would do anything to help those who needed it most. That is one of the things that I truly admire about him, even though there is such acrimony between us."

"There are some really good traits about him. And…I still love him, despite everything that's come between us. We're that cliché high school romance couple, you know. No one thought we'd make it as long as we did, and then we beat the odds and had Jack. Everything was so perfect, well, not perfect, but you know what I mean. Even though I was a complete bitch to you, I never really lost love for him. And I know that he loves me still, too. He's sent me flowers every week so far, which is a sweet gesture. But I just can't live with the ghosts of his job any longer."

Erin nodded slowly before taking another sip of coffee. "The ghosts of this job have a way of clinging to us long past when we think that they should go away. I still have a few of my own that I wish I could shake."

Haley nodded in sympathy as their food arrived. Erin was grateful for the distraction, and began to eat as she thought about this odd friendship that she had struck up with Haley. It didn't really make sense that they could forge something like this out of the flames of the woman's anger towards her, but it was nice to have a relationship with her. "I miss him," Haley said suddenly as she pushed aside her plate and rested her elbows on the table in order to rest her chin on her knuckles. "Do you ever miss Alan?"

"There are times when I do, yes. He's the father of three of my children, after all. But the relationship that I've made forged with David, well, I suppose that I should thank you for telling Alan what Aaron told you. Even though you didn't mean it for good, it has turned into one of the greatest goods in my life." Smiling a little, she pulled out her phone and called up her photos. "Here, take a look at some new pictures of Elise to put a smile on your face. I can't believe that she's nearly two already. Is Jack talking as much as she is?"

Haley took the phone and began to scroll through pictures, a silly smile on her lips as she nodded. "They're both precocious, then. His vocabulary is so good for a toddler his age. But then, we're both intelligent women, and Aaron is an intelligent man, so it makes sense that those genes would pass on. Do you baby talk at her?"

"Sometimes," Erin replied as she took the phone back from her and set it off to the side. "But I know that David talks to her like a little adult. We learned in child development that that is actually the best thing for language acquisition, since babies and toddlers mimic us so much."

She nodded as she handed Erin her cellphone. "That's what Jessica said, too. She's been so great helping me with Jack." Erin nodded absently as she scrolled through the pictures she hadn't seen of Jack yet. "I have been meaning to ask, since Aaron and I aren't together any longer, do you think that we could do something for their second birthday? Not a huge party, that would draw too many questions that you don't want, but a little get together at Jessica's? I know that they won't understand that they're siblings yet, but I think that it's important they get to know each other."

Erin's face relaxed into a smile as she nodded. "I would really like that, Haley. And you're right, they do need to know each other, and when the time is right, we'll tell them the truth." She sighed deeply. "I want to tell Aaron the truth, but there never seems to be a right time to do so. Right now, especially."

Haley blushed a little as she nodded. "He is not in a good headspace, I know. I wish that things could have been different, but we are who we are."

"And it is hard to change that. For all of us." Haley nodded as she picked up her sandwich once more, nibbling at it as she watched Erin. "So, when do you think that a good time to get together will be? And would you like to have my children there, or just the three of us?"

"It's a family affair, so of course they should be there. So, I suppose that we'll have to find a weekend when they're with you. Alan still gets custody one week a month, right?" Erin nodded as she smiled, feeling so pleased that she wanted everyone there.

"I appreciate that you're making an effort to include them." She unlocked her phone and called up her calendar, looking ahead to the next two months. "If it works for you, the seventeenth of November would probably be best. It's so close to Thanksgiving, but Alan has the children on the third, and we're having a birthday party for Elise on the tenth."

"That's when we're having Jack's party, too! So, the seventeenth will work perfectly." Haley smiled as she made a note of it in her phone, Erin doing the same thing. "Oh, and I forgot to tell you. You know that child abduction case that the team recently worked?"

She shuddered as she nodded. "I hate cases like that."

"So does Aaron. Anyway, he came over following it, said that he needed to see Jack, to make certain that he was all right, and I agreed, since I could only imagine the way he was feeling. Anyway, I couldn't help but overhear his words to Jack as he was sleeping. He seems to think that Jack and Elise will meet and know each other soon, so it's obvious that he has no clue that we're on friendly terms with each other. And I'd rather keep it that way."

"I would too, honestly. That was we can both stay out of his line of fire when he's in a snit." Haley giggled as she picked up her soda and took a long sip. "All right, so, let's make a few preliminary plans for the seventeenth. That way I have something concrete to tell David when I get home." Haley nodded and they fell into an easy conversation, Erin wishing that it had been like this from the moment that she had found out about her pregnancy. But at least they were on better terms now, working on building a good relationship for their children's sake.


	61. Chapter 61

"You wanted to see me, Erin?"

She looked up from the report that she had been reviewing and gave Aaron a tight nod, gesturing for him to take a seat in front of her desk. There was a brief pause before he complied and she took a deep breath as she tried to prepare him for the news she was about to give. "I know that we've all wanted time to heal from Jason's abrupt disappearance from the BAU, but the Director and I both feel that it is time to fill the hole that he has left on the team. I originally was considering Katie Cole for that position, but she told me that she feels like she can do a better job remaining where she is, but was grateful for the consideration."

Aaron arched an eyebrow as he gazed at her, and she had a hard time reading the expression on his face, since he had that inscrutable look there that she hated to see. "Then just who are you and Director Shepperd considering to fill Jason's position?"

"The Director feels like it would be best if we had someone with experience to help lead the team through this time of crisis, and I happen to agree with him. It was easy to discuss our plans with this person, since we're in close contact every day."

The mask on Aaron's face dropped as he stared at her in disbelief. "What about the fraternization rules? The Director is willing to overlook this rather large breach of etiquette?"

"He believes that we can separate our work and home lives, yes. And right now, the only people who are aware of our relationship are you, Helen, and Ms. Garcia. We'd both like to keep it that way, at least for the first few months, to allow David to have a smooth transition back into the FBI."

Aaron frowned at her as he leaned back in his chair. "I still find it difficult to imagine that Director Shepperd signed off on this."

"He was actually the one who suggested it, Aaron. I wanted to ask Andi Swann to fill the position, once Katie had turned me down. Both women are fine agents and would help balance out things on the team. The Director was quite adamant that he wanted someone with more experience to fill the role, and given the disaster that Max Ryan caused when he assisted with one case, we both knew that it couldn't be him. Alex Blake never got back with us, which doesn't surprise me, as she's busy teaching at Harvard, and I'd be loathe to give that position up. And we both felt that John Curtis would be too unstable a fit to ask back into the fold. Which left my fiancé. It took a while for him to get behind the idea, which is why I haven't brought you into the loop until now, but he is willing to come back and work with you, if you agree."

There was a long pause before Aaron threaded his fingers together over his chest, tapping his thumbs against his sternum. "And if I don't agree?"

"Then I have to send you to Director Shepperd, and he would have a few words for you." She picked up her cup of tea and took a long sip. "I think that this was more his decision than mine, since David and I never worked well together. Though it appears that we can get along outside of the office, I'm not entirely certain that we can bring that energy from the home into the office."

There was a slight blush on Aaron's face as she said that, and she wondered what thoughts were running through his head as he took a few deep breaths before clearing his throat as he looked at her once more. "Neither of us can say no, then?"

"I'm afraid not. So, can I count on you to welcome him back into the fold here and not let it be a sticking point between us? I really need one less worry in my life at the moment, since Elise's birthday party is turning out to be a larger headache than I thought. She's two going on twenty-two."

"Jack is the same, I swear. I just want to hold him close and tell him to stop growing, because it's happening too quickly." There was a soft smile that spread across his face as he talked about his son, and Erin felt that same blossom of love in her heart for Elise. "Every time Haley allows me to see him, I feel like he's changed so much. I know that that's what happens with toddlers, but I already…never mind, you wouldn't understand."

"I think I would, Aaron. Because I do miss out on so much with Elise, being here so often. It's not quite what you go through, but we both miss large chunks of our children's lives due to the careers we've chosen." She pressed her lips together as she tried not to think about all the dinners she'd missed with her older children. There was so much that she had to make up for, and while she wanted to make things right with Elise, she knew that it would be difficult to do so, as she was loathe to give up her position here. And with David returning to work, well, that just meant they would both lose time with her. "All right, thank you for agreeing to try and work with him. It will be a difficult change, I won't deny that, but I do think that this will be a good fit for the team as it currently is."

Their eyes locked for a moment, and then he gave her a sharp nod before getting up from the chair and leaving her office. He didn't slam the door, which was a good indication that while he wasn't entirely happy with her, he wouldn't cause a ruckus when David joined the team, and she slumped in her chair as she let out the deep sigh she had been holding in the entire meeting. "Did things go well, then, Erin?"

She glanced up at Helen and gave her a small smile. "I think that they did, and it looks like David will be joining us tomorrow. I'm just hoping that he'll be back in time for Elise's birthday party, as I do not relish having to wrangle a bunch of toddlers from the playgroup that he's joined with her."

"We'd be glad to come and help out, Erin, if it comes to that. And your kids seem to be pretty good helpers, too."

"There is that. If I get desperate, I will gladly welcome you and your wife helping us out. Now, I have to see about getting David new credentials and requisitioning him a firearm."

"I can do that for you. You look like you need to relieve some tension."

Erin smiled as she nodded. "I think that you're right. I'm going to head down to the basement and do some target practice. I need to keep up on my qualifications, after all." She gave Helen a slightly feral smile as she opened her bottom drawer and pulled out her sidearm, slipping it into its holster before heading out of the office, ready to take out some of the adrenaline that was still coursing through her veins on some poor, unsuspecting, paper targets.


	62. Chapter 62

David's first two weeks back with the BAU had been rougher than Erin thought they might have been, as things had changed so much for him between when he had retired and when he had rejoined. It had been rough on Elise, too, as she had had to grow accustomed to being in the daycare facility in their building. It was difficult for all of them to leave her with other people, even though she knew Elise was in good hands, and she hated to see her crying face as she left her there every morning.

But then this case in Bridgewater had come up, and every piece of her heart had filled with dread when she had looked at the preliminary file that had sent the BAU down there in the first place. She knew that it would affect David just as much as it was affecting her, given their faith, but she didn't know if he would be able to compartmentalize well, given his newness to the team. The fact that he hadn't called home during the few days they'd been down there hinted at the fact that he wasn't dealing as well with it as he'd like to pretend.

Sighing, she turned onto her side and caressed his spot on the bed, wishing that he was home already and that she could curl up close to him. It had been a real challenge to grow accustomed to the fact that they would be apart for swathes of time now, as he had to be out in the field. Letting out another sigh, she reached out and grabbed hold of his pillow, clutching it to her chest as she tried to drift off to sleep. The next thing she knew, David was shaking her shoulder and she frowned as she sat up in the bed and looked at him, trying to force her eyes to focus. "Darling? What time is it?" she croaked out as she glanced down at her wrist, seeing that it was nearly midnight. "Did you just get home?"

"Yes, _stellina_ , and now we have to leave. I'll get Ellie ready while you dress."

For the first time that evening, she noticed that there was a look of grave concern on his face. "What's wrong?" she asked as she threw back the covers and climbed out of bed, tugging off her nightgown as she padded over to the dresser.

"I'll tell you while we're driving to the hospital, but it doesn't sound good."

Erin felt like her blood had frozen in her veins at those words, and she nodded jerkily as she pulled out fresh underwear, hurriedly tugging them on as she found a warm skirt and blouse to wear. By the time she was dressed, David was already gone, and she frowned a little as she made her way into the master bathroom, brushing her teeth and hair with as much haste as she could afford before applying a little makeup to give the hint that she was well rested, at least. Finally satisfied with how she looked, Erin turned off the light and made her way down to the kitchen, finding David there already, cradling Elise cloe to his chest as she continued to sleep.

She nodded a little as she grabbed her purse, smiling a little to see that he had already placed her phone inside. Grabbing her keys off the hook by the door, she followed him out to the garage, sliding behind the wheel as he loaded Elise into her car seat and fastened her in tightly. "I can drive."

"Nonsense, darling, you look wiped out, and it would be better for me to do this. What hospital are we headed to?"

David gave her the name of an all too familiar hospital, and she nodded as she backed out of the driveway. "I suppose that now is a good time to tell you why we're headed to the hospital."

"That would be nice, as I'm quietly freaking out here. Did something happen on the case?"

He shook his head quickly. "Thank God, no. I hate Florida cases, so much. It's a cliché stereotype that weird shit goes on there, but the amount of times we're called down there on weird cases proves that true. It is going to take me a long time to move past what happened there, Erin." David drew in a deep breath as he looked away from her to stare out the window. "No, most of the team is fine. Penelope was shot this evening. When JJ called, I was driving, but the little she told me before moving on to Reid and Morgan was enough to let me know that we shouldn't get our hopes up for a happy outcome."

Erin felt her lower lip tremble a little when he said that. She had never truly gotten onto the best of terms with the younger woman, but she also didn't wish her to die. "She has stepbrothers, somewhere. Did anyone think about contacting them?"

"I don't know, Erin. I didn't even know that she had stepbrothers, honestly. She's been more than a little standoffish with me, which makes sense. It's awkward to have someone you know outside the work environment technically be your boss, and we've never really cleaned the slate between us for the way she treated you when you found out about Elise."

"You mean, for once, I'm the nicer person in this relationship?" Her joke fell flat on her ears, belied by the slight hiccup of a sob that caught in her throat. David reached out and covered her knee with his hand, his thumb stroking back and forth as he looked at her. "I don't know why I'm so worried about her, David. We're not friends, just on somewhat friendly terms. But she's such a bright light for the team, I don't know what they'd do without her."

"I have that same feeling. I just don't get who would want to shoot her. It doesn't seem like she would have an enemy in the world."

Erin nodded as she continued the drive, looking back in the rearview mirror to see that Elise was stirring a little, and she frowned as she turned up the radio, hoping that it was jazz and that it would be soothing enough to calm Elise back to sleep. She knew that it would be irritating to the other patients if she carried a squalling baby through the halls to a waiting room where others were trying to remain calm as they awaited news of their loved ones. Finally, she pulled into the parking lot and found a spot close to the entrance, her heart racing in her chest as she wondered if they had arrived in time, if Penelope had pulled through surgery.

"Erin."

"Yes, David?"

"Thank you for not even questioning my desire to bring you here with me. I don't like the idea of being there alone, and I didn't want you to wake up and find me gone." She nodded as they got out of the car and she unbuckled their daughter from her carrier, cuddling her close to her chest. "I stuffed an extra diaper in your purse, since there wasn't really time to pack a diaper bag for her."

"That's fine." She gave him a small smile before yawning deeply. "Do you know what floor the waiting room is on?" He nodded and guided her into the building. "Lead the way then, my love." He gave her a small smile before kissing her forehead, the tender gesture failing to rid her stomach of the sick sense of dread that she felt.


	63. Chapter 63

They stepped off the elevator almost at the same time as Doctor Reid got out of a different car, and she gave him a small smile as they walked to the waiting room together. Elise stirred once more in her arms, and this time, she knew that there would be no getting her back to sleep and she braced herself for the wail that she was almost certain was about to come. Instead, Elise pulled her head back to look up at her, reaching up to pat her cheek gently. "Mama?"

"Shh, Elise, it's okay. We had to go to the hospital to make certain that a friend is going to be all right. Try and go back to sleep," she whispered as she entered the waiting room, watching Agent Jareau pop to her feet and hurry over to David and Doctor Reid. Knowing that it wasn't her place to say anything or interrupt, Erin made her way over to an open chair that was near where Emily was sitting. The woman glanced at her, a small frown immediately forming on her lips, which Erin tried to ignore. Instead, she began to quietly sing to her daughter as she rocked her gently in her arms.

"Daddy?"

"Daddy's talking to his friends, darling. Look," she pointed to where David was, not failing to notice that Aaron was staring at them, a flat look on his face. Erin was loathe to say what was worse, the look on his face or on Emily's, since both hurt for different reasons. David gave them a tiny smile as he ambled over to them and took a seat next to Erin, holding out his hands to Elise, who readily went to him. "Is there any news?"

"I wish that there was, Erin, but she's still in surgery. JJ said that the doctor would let us know as soon as he could what the outcome is."

By the sound of his voice, Erin knew that things were quite dire, and she sucked in a shallow breath as she nodded. Agent Jareau made her way over to Emily's side, and reached out for the woman's hand, clasping it tightly as they waited for news of Penelope's surgery. The only person missing was Agent Morgan, and she wondered why he wasn't there, knowing through office gossip, that he was quite close with Penelope. Not knowing what else to do, Erin rested her head against David's shoulder as she fell into a long, silent, prayer for Penelope's wellbeing. "She's getting so big."

Erin glanced over at Aaron, trying to keep a neutral expression on her face as she nodded. "Jack is probably growing like a weed, too."

"I think he's going to be short, like Haley's side of the family."

"There's nothing wrong with that," she replied through a yawn. "How's Jack's language acquisition? We've had to start policing our words a lot more recently, since Elise just repeats so much of what we say."

Aaron smiled a little as he nodded. "Jack babbles a lot. Haley, well, she's been really good about allowing me to see him when we're home from cases. Thank you."

"I don't know what you mean, Aaron."

He arched an eyebrow as his mouth tightened. "I've told you, I don't like lying. I know that you're in contact with her. And if that means that she's allowing me to see Jack more often, I don't mind your being friends with her. I just wish that things could have been different."

"As do I, Aaron. But I think that we all made the best decisions for our circumstances, don't you?"

A pained look crossed his face as he looked over at Elise, who was now snuggled in close to David's chest, sucking on her thumb in her sleep. "I want to believe that we did, Erin." He looked ready to say something more when a commotion in the doorway caught all their attention, and she gasped a little to see the desperate look on Agent Morgan's as he finally joined them. "Derek, where have you been?" Aaron asked as he rose to his feet and strode over to the man's side, reaching out to rest his hand on his shoulder. Agent Morgan hurriedly shrugged off the touch, which didn't surprise Erin, knowing what she knew about his background, but she was still surprised by it.

"I was in church, praying. That case in Florida, it spooked something in me, and I had to face my fears on faith." He glanced around the room, unable to hide his disdain when his gaze fell on her, and Erin tried to keep a calm look on her face as she scooted closer to David. "I didn't realise that everyone would be here already."

"It was important that we turn up as a work family to support Penelope," David answered evenly as he shifted Elise to his other arm so that he could close his hand around her shoulder in a show of solidarity. She sighed as she tilted her head down to rest against his hand.

"Yeah, we tried to call you quite a few times," Agent Jareau said hotly, and Erin saw Emily squeeze the young woman's hand tightly. "Why didn't you answer?"

"I told you, I was in church, so I had my phone turned off. How is she doing?"

"We don't know yet, she's still in surgery. JJ and I have been here for ninety minutes, and the nurse who brought us here estimated that the surgery would take a total of four hours, depending on how things go. We might hear more in the next hour, but I can't say for certain." Aaron came back over to her side and took a seat once more, surprising her, since she knew that she was persona non grata among most of Alpha team, and for him to tacitly include her seemed like a step too much, given the current high tensions that were in the air. "But it's good that you're here now. We're all here to support Penelope."

Agent Morgan nodded as he gave her another questioning look, making his way over to Doctor Reid's side and starting up a quiet conversation with him. "You don't have to defend me to your team, Aaron. I'm only here because David thought I should be." It was another lie, one that he knew she was telling, because he shook his head as a wry smile curved his lips upwards. "What?"

"You care more than you let on. I'll try not to let anyone else know."

A soft blush stained her cheeks as she looked away from him to gave down into her lap, wishing that she was holding Elise in that moment, as it would help distract her from all the feelings swirling in her breast. "I have to keep discipline, somehow. Your team is bound and determined to flout every rule in the book, and I have to put out the fires left behind. Even David is starting to pick up on your bad habits."

A soft chuckle dropped from his lips, the sound so incongruous with the somber atmosphere of the room, but it felt like a good release of tension, and Erin allowed herself to smile a little as she shrugged. "As long as we get results, can you complain?"

"Of course I can." She looked over at Elise and then back at Aaron. "She has stepbrothers, somewhere. Someone needs to contact them."

"I'll have JJ look into that, Erin. Thank you."

She nodded slowly, feeling exhaustion tug on her eyelids as she slumped against David, closing her eyes as she listened to quiet conversations build around her, falling asleep with a prayer for Penelope on her lips.


	64. Chapter 64

David hadn't been home more than twenty minutes in the last week, even though they weren't officially working the case to find out who had shot Penelope. Internal Affairs had made certain that they couldn't be involved, and even her hands had been tied, since Director Shepperd hadn't wanted any hint of whitewashing to taint the investigation, and she understood that on a base level, but she was still infuriated that a little jackass like Agent Fuchs was spearheading the case and trying to railroad Penelope into something that she hadn't done. Certainly, some of her actions looked bad from the outside, but David had explained to her why she had done what she had, and Erin understood that way of thinking. The Fisher King case had been awful for everyone, so it made sense that the woman would try to keep her family safe.

And now, since everyone's hands had been tied, she had to deal with the fallout of Agent Jareau shooting someone in the bullpen. Yes, it was an unsub, but suddenly, the issue didn't fall beneath the purview of IA any longer. Thankfully, her children were home so that she could head into work without dragging Elise out of her warm bed, and Karen was under strict orders to call her if anything happened before she arrived home. The drive in to the office felt longer than normal, and she assumed that was because it was so late and she was so tired.

The body was already under a blanket by the time she stepped out of the elevator, and she curled her lip up in distaste as she skirted around him to get to her fiancé, giving him her best glower as she finally reached his side. "Can you all just not be happy with allowing me one night's uninterrupted sleep this week?" she asked as she poked his chest with her finger.

David chuckled as he shook his head. "Where would the fun in that be, _stellina_? I need to keep you on your toes so that you're more agreeable when I ask for some of my more outlandish requests." He slung his arm lowly around her waist and tugged her close as she nodded, her eyes searching the room for Penelope. "She's in the bathroom, with Emily, trying to clean her face up a little bit. Fuchs is having JJ talk to the police and the Director about what happened. Obviously, she's going to be cleared, and Penelope will be reinstated, but…"

"It's been a long night." He nodded and she let out a deep sigh as her head came to rest on his chest. "Karen said that she'd call if anything happened with Elise. I don't know if I should head to my office or stay here."

"Stay here, Erin. Let your team see that you're here to support them." She rubbed her cheek against the fabric of his shirt, hoping that he would take that as her acquiescence. She was going to say something when she noticed Penelope enter the bullpen, carefully avoiding looking at the body of the man who had tried to kill her three different times over the course of a week. As Erin watched, the younger woman winced in pain, and she felt herself frown in sympathy. David cleared his throat, catching Penelope's attention, and she gave Erin a tired smile as she waggled her fingers in their direction before heading over.

"I am so sorry that you had to come here tonight, ma'am," she murmured quietly as she came to their side, and she shook her head as she smiled gently. "I'm an idiot, Gideon was right about me." Agent Morgan opened his mouth to refute her statement, but Erin held up a finger as she narrowed her eyes a little.

"I say this as your supervisor, Penelope. You are far from an idiot, and Jason Gideon can go hang for ever putting that idea in your head during the Fisher King case. Yes, you made a mistake, but we've all made mistakes, and if I were to wear the label of every single mistake I've ever made, it might take a year to get through them all." Stepping forward, she reached out and rested her hand on Penelope's shoulder, her look softening further. "And I say this as a mother. It does not matter what you might have done to attract that psychopath's attention. You did not deserve to be stalked and shot for that, to almost lose your life for keeping tabs on crimes that hadn't been solved."

Before she could say anything more, Penelope burst into tears and flung her arms around Erin, holding on tightly as she sobbed. Erin drew in a deep breath as she closed her arms around Penelope's back, rubbing one in soft, soothing, circles as she would comfort any of her children when they were sad. "Do you need me to?"

Erin looked at David and shook her head. "The storm will pass soon enough, and she needs a soft shoulder at the moment. When she's calmer, I'll hand her over to Agent Morgan." She looked at the man, raising her eyebrow as she dared him to defy her. Instead, he just nodded and she relaxed a little as she began to hum quietly in an effort to soothe Penelope a little further. Finally, the younger woman seemed to have passed the worst of her outburst and she relaxed her hold on Erin. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, thank you," she murmured before nuzzling her cheek against Erin's shoulder. "I'm sorry for this."

"Don't be, it makes sense that you would react like this. Now, I think that your friends would like to take a moment to comfort you, and I need to talk with Director Shepperd and Agent Fuchs. And before you even say it, I will tell the Director that I expect to see you back at work as soon as you're cleared by your doctor. From the way you were wincing earlier, I have the feeling that you have been ignoring some of the things that you were told?" Penelope nodded, a sheepish smile on her lips. "You won't get better if you don't listen. Okay?" Again, the younger woman nodded before stepping over to Agent Morgan and letting him hold her close as he led her over to where Emily was sitting.

"You're going to lose your reputation as being an Ice Queen, _stellina_ , if you keep that up."

She shrugged as she smiled tiredly. "I can always blame it on fatigue, darling. Now, would you like to accompany me over to the Director, or are you going to debrief with Aaron?"

"I should probably touch base with him, yes. I'll find you in your office when we're done with our separate missions?" She nodded and reached out for his hand, squeezing it tightly before they went in separate directions.

Agent Fuchs was rubbing his eyes tiredly as she approached them, and she rolled her eyes a little as she looked at Director Shepperd. "This was why I wanted to keep it in house, Director. If the BAU had handled this from the very beginning, then this outcome might have been avoided."

"I know, I know, but hindsight is always clearer than where we are in the moment. As I was telling Agent Fuchs, I will be reinstating Ms. Garcia to her full position, including back pay for this week that she missed. I don't know when she'll be cleared for work once more, but she will not have to worry about her job."

"That is exactly what I wished to discuss with you, sir, so I'm glad that you said it before I had to ask the question." She smiled at him before turning a withering gaze onto Agent Fuchs. "And I'll thank you to speak glowingly about Alpha team. They have done an admirable job here, given all that they were up against." He nodded, blanching a little at the vehemence in her voice. "Now, if you need me, I'm going to be in my office, waiting for my fiancé to finish talking to Agent Hotchner." Drawing herself up to her full height, Erin gave one last glare to Fuchs before sailing out of the bullpen and over to her office, determined to get a short nap in before she and David headed home for the evening.


	65. Chapter 65

"Well, since Thanksgiving was a bust this year, I thought it would be nice if I could help you decorate for Christmas, Erin."

She gave Penelope a small smile as she nodded, welcoming her inside their home. "It must have been difficult to not be able to do anything while you recovered from your wound. Though I still wish that you had taken more time off, since it takes time to get past an injury like yours. I know that everyone in the BAU has a death wish, and are willing to jump back into the fray before you should. It happened with Agent Greenaway, it happened with Jason. I just don't want you to feel like you must be back at work so soon, and if you think that you need more time, just let me know, and I'll arrange that."

Penelope shrugged as she stepped out of her heels. "I think that I'll be fine, but thank you for the concern. Where are the kids?"

"The older ones are out with David, trying to find the perfect tree. Elise should be in the living room, playing." Penelope laughed as she followed Erin into said room, and Erin sighed happily to see that her daughter was curled up on the rug next to the fireplace, singing quietly as she played with her baby doll. "Elise, looks who's here to help us! Can you say hello to Miss Penny?"

"Hi," her daughter said distractedly, giving them a small wave before focusing on what she was doing once more.

"She's starting to look more like you every day, isn't she? Even with that gorgeous black hair."

Erin blushed a little as she nodded. "I was surprised with how much of me I see in her. Now, the fresh garland in on the sofa, I'm going to decorate the bannister if you want to stay in here and work on the mantle?"

"I can do totally do that!" Erin nodded as she picked up a long strand of garland and made her way out to the staircase, easily wrapping the garland around the bannister before returning for another strand. Soon that was done, and just as she affixed the last strand to the bottom of the bannister, the front door opened, and Tabitha bounded in, running over to her side and hugging her fiercely.

"Mama! I think we found the most perfect tree that I've ever seen! Papa Dave thought that you'd love it so much!"

She chuckled as she stood up, returning the embrace before looking at the door to see David, Bruce, and Karen struggling to bring in a humongous tree. "Is that even going to fit in the living room?" she asked, watching David roll his eyes in his too red face.

"That's the hope, but Karen and Bruce insisted that this was the tree for us as a family. Especially since this is our third Christmas as a family."

Erin's heart melted at those words, nodding a little as she led her family into the living room. She wasn't surprised to see that Penelope had gotten the mantle looking perfect, and was currently telling stories to Elise as she cuddled her close. "Well, I hope you're prepared to be here for a good long while, Penelope. It is going to take us quite a while to get this behemoth decorated."

She giggled as she watched Penelope's eyes widen as Bruce and David got the stand attached to the base of the tree before standing it up. Suddenly, Erin was glad that there was a vaulted ceiling in the living room, as it meant that the tree would stand perfectly without having to worry about it bending or tilting to fill the space. "Who's going to get up on the ladder? I don't think that you should, Erin, and I know that my doctor would be furious if she knew that I had decided to do something slightly foolhardy," Penelope said as she cuddled Elise close to her chest.

"Bruce? Do you mind getting up on the stepladder?"

"That will be fine, Mom. Let me go get it from the utility closet." She nodded at her son as she held out her arms to Elise, smiling when her daughter launched herself out of Penelope's embrace to be with her once more.

"What do you say, Ellie? Should we start with the tinsel or the lights?"

"Tinsel!" she replied as she clapped her hands, and Erin nodded as she gestured towards the bags on the floor.

"All right, you heard your baby sister, we're starting with the tinsel first."

Tabitha and Karen nodded as they got the tinsel from the bags. Erin had chosen a neutral gold and silver blend to go with the white lights for the tree. "Are we going to have a lot of lights this year, Mama?" Erin shook her head, watching Karen's shoulders relax as she let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I hated Dad's tree last year, there were so many lights that you couldn't see the ornaments, and what's the point of that?"

Erin chuckled as she nodded, pressing her lips against Elise's temple. Her daughter squirmed in her arms, and Erin set her down on the floor, watching her toddle over to the tree and reaching out for a branch to grasp. She knew that her daughter would learn her lesson in order to not touch the tree soon enough, and so didn't say anything as her little hand closed around the branch. Elise's little face scrunched up in pain as she quickly released the branch and stepped away before turning and toddling back over to her side, hugging her leg tightly. "That's why we don't touch the tree, darling. It's spiky and can hurt us. Are we going to be more careful from now on?"

Elise nodded before plopping down on the floor and starting to play with her doll once more, babbling away as they set to work on decorating the tree. "I brought down what few ornaments I saved over the years to add to yours," David said as he entered the room, holding a medium sized box in his hands. "There's even one from James in here."

"Who's James?" Penelope asked as he set the box down on the coffee table, and Erin frowned a little, wondering if her fiancé would feel comfortable sharing his heartbreaking loss with someone who, while a friend, was not close with them.

"He was my son."

Those four words seemed to be all that Penelope needed to hear, as she nodded before giving David a sad smile. "It's good that you have something to remember him with, then." Erin gave her a small nod as she went over to David's side and wrapped her arm around his waist as Bruce rejoined them, stepstool in hand.

"You arrived just in time to help us get the tinsel up the rest of the tree, Bruce!" Tabitha said with a grin as her brother groaned, setting up the stepstool close to the tree.

"This is why I love Christmas," Erin whispered as she rested her head on his chest, watching as Penelope went over and began to help the kids decorate as best she could. "And thank you for asking Penelope over to help with this. I felt badly for her Thanksgiving plans falling through."

"You know that I would do anything for you, _stellina_ ," he murmured before kissing her temple. "Sometimes, family is also the sweet, over the top, technical analyst who is determined to find her place in everyone's life so that she doesn't lose a family again. And that's okay."

Erin nodded as she took a deep breath, watching as Elise went over to Tabitha's side and began to copy her movements in hanging ornaments on whatever branches she could reach, and she knew that this is what she had needed in her life in that moment. "It really is, David." He kissed her once more before resting his cheek atop her head as they watched the others get the tree ready for the holiday season.


	66. Chapter 66

"I know that something is bothering you, David. You've been quieter than usual, and I'm starting to think that it's something I did."

He looked up from his laptop and stared at her in disbelief. " _Stellina_ , I am so sorry that I've made you feel that way. No, it's nothing that you did. Or rather, it's nothing that you did in our personal relationship that has me feeling off kilter. No, it's just that after finally being comfortable enough to put up a Christmas tree and decorations, I keep thinking about that old case I worked. We never found the unsub, and I always think about those children that were left behind. In a way, they're reminiscent of our family, at least before we added Elise, since there were three children then, too. Their birth order was even the same. And even though it didn't happen anywhere close to Christmas, it was enough to just put me off the holiday for twenty years. Until you and the children came into my life."

Erin nodded as she took a seat next to him on the floor resting her head against his knee as she stared into her lap. "Do you want to talk about that case?"

"Maybe after I go there and try to get some closure? Twenty years is such a long time to hold on to this open wound, but things have changed, we've changed as a department, and there might be a way to find out who killed their parents, and bring them peace."

She let out a little sigh as she threaded her arm around one of his legs. "You do realise that this is partly why I fell in love with you, right? You have this wonderful sense of doing what's right and helping others find peace." Erin rubbed her cheek against his calf as she allowed her eyes to slowly close. "How is Aaron doing? I know that it has to be hard with Haley living with her sister."

"And how do you know that?" he teased as he reached down to ruffle her hair.

"Because we met up for lunch when you all went to Philadelphia for that brutal case. I still shudder at the thought of those pictures." Leaning back against the sofa, she looked up to see that he was looking down at her, giving her a soft smile as he gestured to the spot next to him on the sofa. Nodding, she boosted herself up onto the sofa and curled up close to him as she rested her head on his chest. "Anyway, Haley and I are strangely becoming friends, which I know will anger Aaron, if he finds out how close we are. I just find that, as Elise and Jack get older, it's nice that they can get to know each other and be friends. It will be easier to explain things later on. When we're ready to tell Aaron the full truth."

David hummed beneath his breath as he nodded before kissing her temple. "I'm glad that you've mended that fence, even if things are still rocky between you and Hotch. Though I think that having me on the team has started to ease his concerns about things, or at least, there's not as much hurt and frustration in his voice when we talk about Elise and Jack with the others."

"That is so good to hear," she murmured as she rubbed her cheek against his chest listening to his heart. "So, why are you going for closure now?"

"It's been about six months, I'm comfortable with Garcia and can trust her not to blurt out my personal information to all and sundry when I tell her not to, and Hotch and Reid are going to be interviewing someone before he's executed."

"So, you're going to use the fact that the rest of your team is grounded to go out on your own?" David's hand tightened around the ball of her shoulder, and Erin knew that she had most definitely hit a sore spot with him. "That is why you have a team now, David. Use them while Aaron and Doctor Reid are occupied elsewhere. I'm certain that they'll be bored, too."

"Erin, you will never cease to amaze me with how much you care and how much you hide it from the rest of the team."

"Do you blame me? Truly? I've interfered with the team for a good number of years, I have a child with their leader, and I'm tough on them. Those three things do not exactly endear one to their subordinates."

He chuckled a little before kissing her temple once more. "No, but I don't think that they would object to your presence if you came to visit me a little more often when we're in the office. That might help normalize who you really are."

"Maybe one day," she replied as she pulled away from him a little so that she could look up into his eyes. "Everyone is asleep, you know, except for us."

"I like where this conversation is going."

She giggled a little as she stood up and held her hand out to him. "I've missed having you in our bed the last two weeks. That last case took way too long for you to close."

"Yes, well, it hurt us when the media released the fact that we had been called in, causing the killer to go dormant for a week before his compulsion grew too strong to resist." He kissed her as he stood up, and Erin closed her arms around his waist, holding him close as he deepened it. "I'm going to check in on the kids before I join you in the bedroom."

"All right, I'll see you in a few moments." Stepping away from him, she made her way upstairs, listening as he closed the house down for the night, a happy smile spreading across her face. By the time she was in the master bathroom, her blouse was completely unbuttoned, and she slipped out of it and the rest of her clothes before washing her face and brushing her teeth. Smiling at her reflection, she slipped into David's robe before picking up her clothes and taking care of them before padding over to the bed and dropping the robe onto the trunk at the end before pulling back the covers and stretching out on the mattress.

"Sorry that it took me a little longer than I thought, Erin. Elise started to stir while I was in her room, so I had to be quiet and wait for her to settle back down again." He gave her a small wink as he stripped out of his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. "I'll take care of them later, you know I will."

"I know, and I'm still learning to adapt to that quirk of yours. Maybe in time, I'll be less uptight."

"Oh, but I love it when you're all wound up, Erin, because then I get to help you unwind," he growled out as he shucked off his boxers and stalked over to the bed, straddling her body as he leaned down and kissed her deeply. Erin sighed against his lips as his hands roamed up and down her body, teasing her in order to build up her anticipation for what was going to come. Spreading her legs, Erin welcomed him into her body before wrapping one of her legs around his hips and pulling him in deeper as he set a fast pace for their lovemaking.

"We are both in the same mood tonight," she gasped as she arched up against his chest, the feel of his wiry chest hair against her breasts teasing her even more. "It has been too long since we have made love."

"Yes." He smiled and thrust a little deeper before sliding his hands up her torso to cup her breasts, his thumbs brushing against her nipples in order to heighten her pleasure. Soon, they were both gasping for breath as they drove each other onwards to orgasm. Erin muffled her cry of release by pressing her mouth tightly to his shoulder, and then they were collapsing back onto the bed, David's hands stroking against her skin as they relaxed together. "I love you, Erin."

She smiled and nuzzled her nose into his shoulder as she nodded. "I love you, too. Now kiss me again before I fall asleep." David chuckled as he complied with her wishes. A soft sigh slipped from her lips before she kissed him once more as her eyes closed heavily, sleep soon stealing over her as they continued to kiss.


	67. Chapter 67

Erin let out a little sigh when she saw the text from David pop up on her phone. He had managed to get a seat on a flight out to Indianapolis on the first flight of the day, and while she hadn't been the happiest at being awoken at five in the morning, she was happy that he was safely on his way to his destination. Just as she was about to get back to her work, she heard a commotion behind her, and she whirled around to see that Penelope was storming over to her desk, a furious look on her face. "Whatever is the matter?" Erin asked as she slipped off her reading glasses and set them on the desk as she frowned and stared at the woman.

"Everything! Oh, my god, Erin, you have got to keep your man on a leash! Do you know what he did to me today?"

Erin arched an eyebrow as she leaned back in her chair. "No, but I assume that you're going to fill me in?"

Penelope nodded and took a deep breath, all that Erin needed to know that what followed would be a tale akin to one that Karen or Tabitha would tell when they were in a strop, and she tried not to sigh as she prepared herself for the diatribe to come. "I am an adult, human, female, Erin. I have needs! I have desires! And if I happen to bring home someone, someone who might work here, and have a little extracurricular fun, that is entirely on me! Rossi had no right coming over to my apartment at six this morning, while we were showering, to demand that I work on this obsession he has about some cold case in Indiana. And he totally saw Kevin come into my living room wearing only my towel. Our houses are supposed to be sacrosanct! I know that everyone was over there just a few months ago when I was shot, but that was in the course of a case, not on private business with no forewarning!"

Finally, she paused for a breath, and Erin was able to get a word in edgewise. "He was in a hurry to make certain that he could get there in time to finally bring closure to this case. I understand being driven, since I've been there a few times myself. I'm sorry that he disturbed your peace, and I will talk to him about how to properly handle things in the future. Now, what's this about your having a visitor?"

She tried not to smirk as Penelope's face when white and then bright red as she looked down into her lap. "Kevin's the first guy in a long time who is more interested in my GUI than my breasts. And the sex is really good. Oh god, I just told you that. You're my boss, you totally did not want to know that. Fuck. Fuck, I just swore in front of you. Oh god, are you going to fire me?"

Erin knew that she had to put Penelope out of her misery, and she shook her head a little, knowing there was no point in making her squirm. "No, you just need to think about what you're saying before the words come out of your mouth. Remember the Milwaukee incident?" Penelope nodded, her blush deepening again as she dared to look up at Erin. "Now, like I said, I will have a chat with David as soon as he calls me. But until then, please help him with this case so that we can excise that demon from his mind."

"I will, ma'am, of course. I just can believe that he went alone!"

She shrugged a little. "There are some things that you do have to do alone. Though I would have been much happier if he had taken Doctor Reid, at least. Now, before you leave this office, we do need to have a little chat about your seeing Mister Lynch. Thankfully, the two of you are not in the same department, so there's less of a conflict of interest than you might have thought. But I still cannot condone any hint of impropriety in the office. You'll need to keep that in your apartment, if you decide to continue a relationship with him. And…"

"There's more?"

Erin chucked as she nodded. "There's always more. You'll need to inform Agent Hotchner of your relationship when he returns from this custodial. I know from personal experience that he cannot abide liars, and by keeping this relationship from him, he would consider that a lie of omission."

Penelope's face fell a little as she nodded, and Erin sighed lightly as she glanced at the current picture of her children. "Can I ask something personal that you don't have to answer?"

"If it's what I think you want to ask, you're somewhat right. He is, but we don't talk about it any longer, so that we can work together without being at each other's throats all the time. It's not the best solution, but it's the one that we've made work for us." Penelope nodded before giving her a sad smile as she got to her feet. "And I think that it goes without saying that I should never hear about this outside of these walls."

"Of course, Erin. And thank you for not reaming me out about Kevin. I should probably go see if any of my searches have turned up information for Rossi yet. Maybe that will make him be in a little better mood."

She couldn't hold in the sharp bark of laughter, and Penelope cocked her head to one side as she looked at her in confusion. "It's his own fault for being in a bad mood. He was the one who got up before the sun this morning." Penelope giggled as she nodded, leaving her office with a smile on her lips. Once the younger woman had left, Erin slumped in her seat and pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly dialed her fiancé.

"I know that you're still on the plane and won't receive this until you land, but it needs to be said. You're going to send Ms. Garcia a bouquet of flowers as soon as you hear this, because she was almost certain I was going to fire her for her relationship with one of the other technical analysts. And you are going to treat her a little better for this, David. I know that you meant well, but she does a lot of good work for your team, and I want to retain our assets. I love you, stay safe out there."

Without saying goodbye, she ended the message before putting the phone back into her pocket and turning back to her computer, continuing to work on the report that was now due in thirty minutes. As she worked, she thought about what she had tacitly told Penelope, knowing that it probably wasn't the smartest action she had ever taken, but she was fast reaching the point herself where she was tired of keeping secrets from everyone. Even if that meant completely upending the pat little life that she and David had built for themselves over the years since Elise had been born. But the first thing she would have to do was talk to David once he was home, and see if he felt the same way.


	68. Chapter 68

Erin tried to stay as quiet as possible when she left the bathroom stall. She had heard Agent Jareau rush in moments after she had finished her own business in the bathroom, and she didn't want to call attention to the fact that she was now listening to the young woman throw up. This was the fourth time that week alone that Erin had crossed paths with the young woman in the restroom, and she remembered that feeling quite well. And since Aaron hadn't informed her that anyone on his team was currently pregnant, that could only mean that Agent Jareau had not told him about her pregnancy yet.

A part of her understood that reticence, she knew that Aaron and Agent Morgan would treat Agent Jareau differently once it became common knowledge. And while David might try to pull that same behaviour, she would make certain that he didn't treat her with kid gloves. After all, Agent Jareau was quite young and healthy, so the pregnancy wouldn't affect her job performance until she was much further along. Still, a soft smile crossed her lips as she touched her own stomach in longing. Though she hadn't told anyone this, her heart's desire was to give David a child of his own, even though he treated Elise like she was his biological child. But as she approached her fiftieth birthday, she knew that that was almost an entirely ridiculous pipedream. It was still a nice one to have, though.

Washing her hands, she gave her reflection another soft smile before leaving the restroom and heading back to her office, unsurprised to see David there, waiting for her. "Is everything all right, _stellina_?" he asked as she closed the door and went over to her couch, taking a seat.

Nodding a little, she patted the space next to her and gave him a pained look. "I am perfectly all right, just a little worried about you heading out Boston for some reason. Also…"

Her voice trailed off as she rested her head on his shoulder, staring at the coffee table in front of her as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "What is it?"

"It might turn out to be nothing, as I don't know how far along she is, but I believe that Agent Jareau is going to have a baby in the near future. Obviously, she's not far enough into the pregnancy for her to tell Aaron, or maybe she doesn't want to tell him yet, but it's something that I need you to do two things about."

"And that would be?" he asked as he dropped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her body close to his chest before dropping a quick kiss to the crown of her head.

"Do not treat her with kid gloves. There was a reason that I waited to let the Director know when I was pregnant with Bruce, as I felt like everyone was hovering over me, certain that I was going to just go into premature labor at the drop of a pin. I didn't need that treatment with my oldest two children. It was only Tabitha and Elise where I needed to take extra precautions. Given that Agent Jareau is a good decade younger than I was when I went through my first pregnancy, she doesn't need that treatment."

He nodded before tightening his hand around her shoulder, squeezing it gently. "And your second thing?"

Erin chuckled as she turned towards him, letting her right hand splay out on his chest. "I want you to not tell Aaron about my supposition. We have to let Jennifer tell the team when she's ready, otherwise she'll never trust anyone on the team again. Even if it becomes obvious that she's pregnant, if she hasn't told anyone, don't say a word."

"And if I slip up?"

"I think that you can keep it quiet. After all, we've kept a far larger secret quiet from our families for three years now." A rough silence fell over the room, and she let out a deep sigh as she tried to get control of her emotions. "I really think like we're getting to the point where we have to just come clean with everyone. Penelope already knows the truth, even though I didn't come right out and say the truth, just intimated that her thoughts were true. I don't like holding on to this secret any longer."

"I don't like it either, but I don't think that right now is the best time to tell Hotch. Haley served him with divorce papers recently, and while he pretends that he's fine, I can tell that it's bothering him more than he's letting on. I just don't want to pile on more changes to the status quo with him right now."

"Oh, you didn't tell me that. Of course we'll wait, then." Erin pushed away from his chest so that she could look into his eyes. "Just let me know when you think it would be a good time to talk to him and start revealing the truth to all of our friends and family will be. This guilt that I'm carrying around is threatening to swallow me whole."

He nodded before glancing over at the door, a tender smile on his lips as he leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "I will do that."

"Thank you. And please, both of you, stay safe in Boston. Elise needs both of her daddies." David nodded before giving her another quick kiss. "Now go, I'm certain that Aaron wants to be underway, since it will take a while to drive to the airfield."

"Forty minutes if Hotch drives, but if I can snag the keys, then we should make it in thirty or less."

"I did not need to hear that, darling. Go, before I really have the chance to think about your little admission, and make certain that Aaron drives to the airfield."

David chuckled as he nodded, rising to his feet before giving her a small wave and leaving her office. Letting out a soft sigh, she got to her feet and went over to her desk, taking a seat in her chair before spinning it around to her computer and booting it up. While she waited for it to start, Erin looked over at the picture of her children, smiling at their faces as she listened to the sounds of her computer waking up for the day. Soon, she was starting to go through her emails, replying to everything as she went through them one by one. Though she knew that David preferred to let them build up before he responded, she could never be like that. Once that was taken care of, she began to pull together the data for the meeting with all the other section chiefs, knowing that she was still under scrutiny for all the rogue things that Alpha team had done lately. Even though she had tried to get David to help her rein the rest of the team in, there were still a few questionable happenings that she knew would be brought up in the meeting in an effort for the other departments to try and get better funding.

"I hate being good at politics," she muttered as she continued to compile the necessary data that would make the meeting go quicker. She didn't want to be in it any longer than she had to, not when she had to worry about so many other little fires at work and at home. She just hoped that the time her fiancé and Aaron spent in Boston would pass quickly, so that she could be with him once more.


	69. Chapter 69

From the moment Erin had received the request for the team to head to New York City, she had had a bad feeling that it was not going to end well for any of them. And that had been proven true when one of the police officers that they had been working with had been shot and nearly killed. That still did not prepare her for the phone call that she received, waking her from a deep sleep, and she frowned as she sat up with a start, answering the call with a drowsy "Hello?"

" _Stellina_ , I just need you to know, first of all, that I'm all right, and that JJ's all right, and the baby's okay. Will joined us here in order to force her to leave the team, and you would have been so proud of her reaction. I don't think he'll make that mistake again, if they stay together."

She knew that he was rambling for a reason, that something bad had happened, and she cleared her throat a little in order to get a word in. "And you're calling me after midnight to let me know that Agent Jareau's partner is a bit of an ass?"

"No, I'm calling you because there's been an attack against us, and Hotch was nearly blown up. Kate Joyner was seriously injured, and we're trying to get clearance to be allowed to rescue her and Hotch, since they both need to get to hospital. The profile we gave the city, though, tells everyone that all help needs to stay away, and I've never felt so fucking useless before in my life."

Quick tears began to pool in her eyes, and she nodded as she brought her knees up to her chest, staring across the room at the painting on the wall, not really seeing it. "What do you need me to do?" she finally was able to ask, her voice thick and hoarse.

"I don't know, and that's the worst thing. All I want is to be there with you, letting you curl up close to me. But I have to do my duty."

"I know, darling. Take care of everyone there, and keep me posted on what happens. I'll stay home tomorrow, since I don't think that I'll be able to sleep until I know more of the details." They sighed in tandem, and Erin climbed out of bed and padded over to their closet, grabbing David's robe and wrapping it around her body before speaking once more. "I'm going to go sit with Elise for a little while, and watch her sleep. Don't worry, my phone will be on silent so you can call at any time. I love you."

"I love you, too, Erin. And I will call as soon as I know exactly what's going on." He hung up before she could say goodbye, and a part of her wondered if that was deliberate. She hoped that it was. Blinking back tears, she silenced the phone and slipped it into the pocket of the robe before quietly making her way over to Elise's room. Her daughter was curled up tight in one corner of the bed, hugging the wall, and she smiled as she sank down onto the foot of the bed and watched her sleep.

"I wonder if anyone called Haley," she whispered as she leaned against the wall, grateful that the paint felt cool against her temple as she thought about when she should call Haley to let her know that something had happened. If it was bad, she would need to get to New York with Jack as soon as possible to say goodbyes. Frowning, she pulled out her phone and texted Haley, letting her know that she needed to either call herself or David at her first opportunity. With that task out of the way, Erin yawned as slipped the phone back into her pocket before stretching out on the mattress next to Elise. Her daughter turned towards her and curled into her, which made her smile as she wrapped her arms around Elise. "We will always do our best to protect you, sweetheart," she murmured as she stroked her back lightly, her eyelids growing heavy once more and she allowed herself to fall into a light sleep while she waited to hear something more.

A few hours later, she came to with another start, feeling the phone vibrate against her thigh, and she gently disentangled herself from around Elise as she sat up and answered the phone without looking at the display. "Give a few moments, David. Elise is still sleeping, so I don't want to wake her."

"Take your time, Erin."

Penelope's voice was not the one she had expected to hear, and she frowned deeply as she tiptoed from Elise's room and closed the door as quietly as she could before taking a seat on the top step, her free hand digging into the soft fabric of the robe. "All right, what's happened now?"

"Kate's dead. Hotch will be all right with time, but the explosion ruptured his eardrum, so he'll have to take the train home. The rest of us are all right, and I know that Rossi is planning on staying with Hotch and riding the train back with him, which will be a later return for them both, but that will be the best situation. We were wondering if you wanted to call Haley and let her know what's going on?"

"I texted her after ending my call with David, actually, telling her to call me, or David, when she saw the message. I didn't want to alarm her if everything was fine, because she's not Aaron's wife any longer. I'm going to have to have a meeting with Aaron when he gets back, since he'll have to have medical clearance before he can return to the field."

"I think that he won't be happy to hear that," Penelope replied wryly, and she nodded as she felt someone touch her shoulder. Looking up, she saw that Karen was giving her a concerned look, and she smiled before patting the step next to her. Her daughter quickly sat down and cuddled up close to Erin's side, resting her head on Erin's shoulder.

"Well, what makes him happy and what has to be done are two completely different things." Penelope let out a sharp laugh. "Protocol is protocol, and there are things that even Aaron can't weasel his way out of. All right, thank you for the update, and stay safe coming home. I don't want to have to explain to Director Shepperd why we have so many injuries on the team."

"All right, Erin. And I'll stop by before heading home, just to check in with you in person."

"Thank you," she murmured before ending the call and slipping the phone into the pocket before reaching over and stroking Karen's face. "I hope I didn't wake you, baby."

"No, I had to pee, and heard your voice. Is everything okay?"

"There was an incident with this case, and a few people were hurt, seriously. David's all right, he wasn't caught up in the explosion, but he'll be home later than normal, since he's going to ride home on the train with Aaron."

"Oh."

She nodded, about to say more when her phone vibrated once more. Drawing in a deep breath, she pulled the device out once more, looking to see who it was, her face falling to see Haley's name on the display. "Hello, Haley."

"Erin? What's wrong?"

"The most important thing to know is that Aaron is alive and will be coming home shortly with David on the train. There was an incident with the case, and things devolved very quickly, which led to Kate Joyner's death in the line of duty. I know that you still care for him, which is why I thought it would be better to hear it from myself or David."

"And you're certain that Aaron will be all right?"

"As certain as I can be, yes. His eardrum was perforated, and that will be a rather lengthy recovery, but knowing Aaron, he'll strong arm the medical evaluator to give him a clean bill of health so that he can return to the field sooner than good judgement would allow for."

Haley laughed, which quickly turned into a choked sob. "I really hate that I still love him so much. Because it aches to be away from him, but I couldn't have his job in my face any longer. Shit, Jack just woke up. I'll talk to you later?"

"Of course, feel free to call at any time," Erin replied before ending the call and looking at Karen. "All right, I am heading back to bed because I haven't gotten the best sleep. Would you mind looking after Elise for me until I wake up again?"

"Of course, Mom! We have this handled." Karen turned her head and kissed Erin's cheek lightly before getting to her feet and heading downstairs, most likely to start breakfast, and Erin smiled as she stood up and weaved a little, finding herself more tired than she had thought as she trudged back into her bedroom, curling up on David's side of the bed and quickly falling back asleep.


	70. Chapter 70

There was only five weeks until Jack and Elise turned three, and Erin didn’t quite know where the time had gone, as it seemed like when last she had looked, it had been May, and they were all worried about how Aaron would recover, and if it would affect his work at all. But he had been insistent that he could head back to work shortly after his injury, and had proceeded to irritate his ruptured eardrum to the point where Erin had just grounded the team for three weeks in order to force him to stay home and heal. 

Things had just started to get back to normal, or as normal as it could be with Alpha, when they had been called in to assist with a cult suspected of child grooming and sexual abuse , and while she had agreed that Doctor Reid and Agent Prentiss were the best candidates to assist, since they could look the least Bureau out of the entire team, there was still a sense that she had sent them into a lion’s den. Nothing good had ever happened in Colorado, and after the disaster case in New York, she just hoped that there wouldn’t be something equally as horrifying there.

Erin was just settling down to work after lunch when Helen came into her office, a tight, drawn, look on her face. “You, you need to see what’s happening in Colorado.”

Nodding, she turned to her computer and waved her hand so that Helen would come over to her side as she tried to figure out what was going on. She immediately went to ZNN and felt her heart drop into her stomach as she saw what was happening. It was worse than she could have possibly imagined, and she reached out blindly for Helen’s hand. “How did it go wrong so quickly?” she managed to breathe out as she tightly squeezed her assistant’s hand.

“We’re still trying to work that out, Erin. Apparently, someone leaked information that they shouldn’t have, and everything’s gone tits up.” Turning, she saw David standing in the doorway to her office and she nodded a little as she pushed away from her desk, meeting him halfway as she threw her arms around his torso. “I’ll be safe, Erin. It’s the others I’m worried about.”

“I know, darling. But I can still be worried about you. Colorado is one of those states, along with Florida, that I don’t like sending you all to. Because bad things happen out there.” Pulling back a little, Erin looked up into his eyes, trying to smile a little as she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and gave him a fierce kiss. “Keep your head down, keep Aaron’s head down, and bring them home whole.”

“I will do my best, _stellina_ ,” he murmured in her ear before giving her another, softer, kiss. “Hug Elise tight when you pick her up from daycare. I don’t have time to stop by and see her before we leave.”

Erin nodded as he stepped away from her, giving her a cautious smile before he turned on his heel and strode from the room. Her heart cracked a little as she watched him go, feeling like there was not going to be a satisfactory outcome to this case, and it took everything in her to not go rushing after him, to give him one more hug. But she knew that she didn’t want to appear hysterical in front of the rest of her colleagues. “What do you need right now, Erin?” Helen finally asked as she took a seat behind her desk once more, burying her face in her hands as she shrugged. “You need to take your mind off the disaster in Colorado.”

“I know, but all I’d really want to do is cuddle Elise and curl up close to David. He’s on his way to Colorado, and I am in the middle of my workday.”

“There is nothing stopping you from heading down to the daycare facility and hold your daughter for a few minutes. I won’t tell anyone that’s where you are, if they come to talk to you. I’ll just tell them to come back in forty minutes or so. Okay?”

Erin knew that Helen wouldn’t back down from her current position, and she was extremely grateful for that, since she truly needed the comfort of her child to help calm her spirit. “All right. I will be back shortly.” Helen gave her a warm smile as she nodded and left the office. While she took a few deep breaths, Erin opened her desk drawer and took her cell phone out of her purse and slipped it onto her jacket pocket before getting up and heading out to the elevators, sparing a smile for Helen as she left.

The ride down to the second floor didn’t take too long, and then she was smoothing her skirt before she entered the facility. Giving a brief smile to the young woman working the check in desk, Erin made her way over to her side and took a deep breath. “I know that it’s a bit unusual, but I need to have about thirty minutes with Elise.”

“Of course, Erin. Come on in,” she replied as she handed her a visitor badge which Erin promptly attached to her jacket, following her into the daycare. Once they were in Elise’s room, Erin leaned against the doorway as she watched her daughter play with her friends, not really certain that she wanted to interrupt her daughter. That option was taken away from her when Elise turned and gave her a wide grin and wave.

“Mama!” she cried out as she got up and ran over to her side, throwing her arms around her in reckless abandon. “Pick me up!” Laughing, Erin did just that, cuddling her close to her chest as she breathed in deeply. “Mama?”

“It’s okay, sweetie. Mama just needed to hold you close for a little bit. Do you think your friend will mind if we cuddle together in the rocker?” Elise shook her head, and Erin smiled at her as she brought her over to the gliding rocker by the window, sinking down onto it and holding Elise closer to her chest as she rocked them back and forth. “Daddy had to go to Colorado unexpectedly, so he’ll be gone for a few days.”

“Okay. Can we have mac and cheese for supper?”

Erin laughed a little as she nodded. “I think that we can have that, yes.” She kissed Elise’s head softly as her daughter burrowed closer to her chest, as if she knew that Erin needed that sweet comfort at that moment. “Are you having fun here?”

“Always! But Miss Karen doesn’t like when I call out what the next word is in our book.”

Erin felt her brow wrinkle a little. “How do you know what the next word should be?” she asked as she started to rub her daughter’s back lightly.

“I don’t know, I just do. And Miss Karen reads the same books a lot.”

“I see.” Erin had the feeling that there was more to this conversation than what her daughter had said, almost as if she thought she’d be in trouble if she really could read already. It wouldn’t surprise her if Elise could, since Haley had mentioned that Jack was also quite ahead of the curve, she just hoped that they would be able to keep Elise from getting bored when she actually went to school. Maybe, just maybe, David could convince Doctor Reid to help them out as Elise got older, if she was still showing signs of being preternaturally bright, and she let out a little sigh as she began to hum beneath her breath as she felt Elise start to fall asleep against her chest. Somehow, this thirty minute visit might turn out to be a little longer, but she found that she really didn’t care, as it gave her more time with Elise.


	71. Chapter 71

“I am so sorry that I’m going to be missing Elise’s third birthday, Erin. But this case in Las Vegas, I just, I don’t want another parent losing their child.”

Erin nodded as she gave him a sad look. “I figured that that would be the case, darling, when I sent this on to Aaron to review. Go, and know that we’ll have a small party when you get home. Though you do owe me for having to deal with a dozen toddlers and their parents.”

“I have a few ideas in mind of what I could do to make it up to you,” he said lowly before closing the distance between them and kissing her softly. “Make certain that you take a lot of pictures of the party, I can’t wait to see what our daughter gets, or how she reacts to my present.”

Erin cocked her head to one side as she watched him back away from her, a sheepish grin on his face. “What did you do?”

“You’ll find out Saturday! I love you!”

Before she could say another word, he had exited the room, giving her a small wave before turning in his heel and striding away. Letting out a long breath, she began to think about what he might have done that would create that reaction in him. There wasn’t too much that she would find bad, but she also didn’t think that he would really purchase something extravagant when he knew how she felt about spoiling the children. Scratching her temple in irritation, Erin sank down in her chair before turning to her computer and starting to catch up on the paperwork that she had let pile up for the entire week.

A few hours later, when she felt sufficiently caught up, Erin decided to check her email and see if she had received anything of note, smiling to see that Haley had written her. Knowing that she would have more than enough time to read what she had sent and get a little more work done afterwards, Erin clicked on the message, smiling to see that while it was late, she and Jack could come to Elise’s party, since Aaron would be out in Nevada with the team. A soft smile spread across her face as she wrote out a short reply to her, letting her know that she would be glad to have them there.

With that out of the way, Erin leaned back in her chair and let out a small sigh, thinking about everything that she had to do before the party on Saturday. Thankfully, it was only Thursday, which meant that she still had two evenings to plan and prepare. Tonight, she knew, she would have to pick up Elise’s cake from the baker before heading home. The caterers would take care of everything else, she knew, which was one less thing that she had to worry about. Still, there was decorating the living room, since it appeared that it was going to be rainy and cool on Saturday. She would have much rather preferred to hold the party outside, but knew she couldn’t compete against nature.

Pulling out her list of things to do, Erin checked it again to make certain that there wasn’t anything else she had to do before heading home for the day, she smiled to see that she had been right in thinking that it was only picking up the cake. Tucking that back in her pocket, she turned back to her computer and began to work on the rest of what she needed to catch up on.

“Did they really drag Agent Jareau out with them on this latest case? She looks like she’s ready to give birth!”

Erin turned her chair to look at Helen standing in the doorway, frowning a little. “She was supposed to be starting maternity leave, that was why I approved her asking for Agent Todd to join the team for the length of her leave.” Motioning for Helen to take a seat in front of her desk, Erin pulled out her phone and quickly dialed her fiancé, hoping that he would pick up.

“Hey, _stellina_ , what can I do for you?”

“You can tell me that Agent Jareau is here safely in the bullpen, rather than out gallivanting with you on this case. She is past the point of not being able to fly in her current condition!”

He chuckled a little, and Erin could just picture him running his fingers through his hair as he tried to look innocent. “She has already promised us that this will be her last case, but since it involves children, she felt like she had to be here. Don’t worry, we’re all looking out for her, even as she tries to protest that she doesn’t want to be treated with kid gloves. Can I tell you something?”

“I suppose, but I doubt it will make me feel better about the fact that I have an agent within four weeks of delivery out in the field.”

David drew in a soft breath, and Erin copied the breath, waiting for him to speak once more. “She reminds me a little of you in the week before you gave birth to Elise. I know that she was a little early, but there just is something that is familiar about her that I remember from you.” There was a brief pause, and then she heard him say, “Yeah, Hotch, I’ll be right there, just let me wrap up my conversation with Erin. Sorry, babe, we’re headed out to the home of the family now. I’ll talk to you more later this evening. And again, I love you.”

“I love you, too, David. Stay safe out there.” She refrained from kissing into the phone, since Helen was still sitting across from her, and ended the call, setting her phone aside as she let out a long breath. “She swears this is her last case before going on maternity leave. I really wish that the BAU was not full of stubborn people who think that they’re doing the noble thing by working themselves to the bone and not taking the appropriate time to heal and nest.”

Helen snorted a little before covering the sound up with a light cough as Erin glared at her. “I’m sorry, but you should count yourself amongst that number. You not only worked from home through the entirety of your maternity leave, you also returned two weeks early.” Erin blushed as she nodded, knowing that Helen had a very valid point, even if she didn’t want to admit to it. “Now, is there any way that we can make things easier for Agent Jareau?”

“Not that I can think of. David said that he was reminded of me at the end of my pregnancy, which means that she is likely to chafe if anyone even looks at her the wrong way.” Helen laughed as she nodded in agreement. “It will be odd to have her baby born so close to Elise and Jack’s birthday. I would never have thought that our children would cluster like this, you know?”

“It is a little odd, but that was because Elise was so eager to meet us! And this way, you can all request for the same weekend to be home, since you have a valid excuse for that to happen.”

“There is that, yes.” She glanced down at her phone to see that David had sent her a photo via text, and she shook her head a little. “I suppose that’s my cue to get back to work. There are definitely not enough hours in the day the rest of this week, so I need to get as much done as possible.” 

Helen nodded as she got to her feet. “If you need any help, feel free to ask, and I’ll do whatever I can.”

“Thank you,” Erin replied absently as she turned back to her computer and began to work through the files that needed to be finished, knowing that the sooner she got that task accomplished, the sooner she would be headed on her way home to her children and the things she needed to do to prepare for Saturday.


	72. Chapter 72

Erin couldn’t help but hear the commotion in the hallway as she was wrapping up her conversation with Helen. Giving her assistant a small frown, she turned and peeked her head outside the doorway in time to see Penelope guide Agent Jareau over to the elevators, Aaron following closely behind. “Ladies and gentlemen, we need you all to move, the newest little agent is about to be born!”

Erin rolled her eyes a little at the hyperbole, and she caught the fact that Aaron noticed the look, as he was giving her a small smirk. She dipped her chin a little as she blushed, turning on her heel and disappearing back into the outer office. “Just what is going on out there, Erin?”

She took a deep breath before gesturing towards her door. Helen nodded and followed her inside. As Erin took a seat behind her desk, she watched her assistant pull the chair closer to her, watching her with quizzical anticipation. “It appears that I was right, and Agent Jareau is going to be having her child. Today. They were barely home twenty four hours before she went into labor! Can you imagine the uproar there would be if she had been in the field when that happened? My head would be on a platter.”

Helen nodded solemnly as she leaned forward, looking into her eyes. “They don’t listen to you because they know you’re usually correct. But because you’ve had to be the heavy to keep them in line over the years, they just assume that you’re out to separate their team and throw them to the wind. I was hoping that Dave would help dispel some of those feelings, but it seems like old prejudices are hard to retire.”

“Yes, that is a very good point.” She was going to say something else about what was going on when her cellphone rang. “I’m sorry, that’s David’s ringtone.”

“Not a problem.” Helen gave her a small smile as she exited the room while Erin answered her fiancé’s call.

“Hello, darling. I take it that you heard about Agent Jareau going into labor?”

“Yeah, Emily called Derek when she heard the news, and we’re headed home now. Though I don’t know what time we’ll land, since we still have to back our things and get to the airfield. But it’s her first, so it could take a while, right? I seem to remember that’s what we were told when Carolyn went into labor with James.”

“That can be the case, yes.” The image of Aaron smirking at her in an almost gentle way rose to the forefront of her mind and Erin drew in a long breath. “Are you somewhere where we could talk and the others wouldn’t know what we’re talking about?”

“I can answer so that that happens. What’s up?”

“You know that I’ve been wrestling with my guilt over keeping the truth from Aaron for these last three years. And now, with the new baby almost here, I just have this pressing feeling on my heart that we have to let him know now that Elise truly is his child. I can’t tell you why I feel this way, but it seems like everything in our lives has been leading to this moment, and I don’t think that I can keep the truth from him any longer. Even if it means that we have to share custody with him, he deserves to be a larger part of his daughter’s life.”

“Aren’t you worried that he’s still feeling bitter about the role he thinks you played in Haley’s pressing for a divorce?”

“No, especially since we all know that I had no hand in that. Haley is a grown woman who can make her own decisions, which is exactly what happened. If Aaron had chosen to take the lateral shift to White Collar Crimes, he would still be with Haley and Jack, and I don’t think that my guilt would prick at my conscience like it is doing right now.” Erin paused to take a sip of water before carrying on. “Just, tell me that I am making the right decision. I know that I’ve trapped you in a lie, too, because you’re not Elise’s biological father, and I just feel like I’m carrying around enough guilt to break my back.”

“Oh, Erin. I hate that you feel that way, and I wish that you had told me more about these feelings you were carrying around before it got so bad.”

She sighed as she leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling, sharp tears stinging her eyes. “It’s not your fault, David, I’ve always been one to carry around too much guilt. I think that I should have been Catholic from the start.”

David laughed at that, and she shook her head as she waited for him to respond. “Well, we’ll work on that, then, when I get home and after you inform Aaron about this. And I hope to God that you know I will be by your side throughout whatever happens next, even if it involves a change in living arrangements.”

“Thank you, darling. Now, make certain that you stop by and pass on our best wishes to Jennifer and William. And, if you think that he’s in the right frame of mind, ask him to come home with you, and we’ll hash things out tonight.”

“All right, I’ll do that. Stay safe until I get home.”

“The same to you, darling. I love you.”

“Love you, too, _stellina_.” He ended the call and she slipped the phone back into her purse before letting out a long breath as she stood and went over to her window, staring down at the ground as people walked by. She knew that she was making the right choice, in the end, because her guilt was fast becoming a millstone around her neck. If she didn’t have David, if things had turned out differently between her and Alan regarding their children, she knew that she would have most likely started to drink a lot more heavily than the occasional glass of wine with supper.

“I think that tonight will call for a rather large glass of cabernet,” she murmured as she continued to watch the people, finding something soothing about their movements. They were so focused on where they were going, as if that was the only concern that they had in their minds, and Erin yearned for that sense of freedom. Even if it would just be the removal of the newest weight. There was still the lingering guilt that came with the way things had ended between her and Alex, which was her greatest failure, or so she felt. Maybe her life really was just one big cockup after the other. David would tell her that she was wrong, that she was being overdramatic, but it was how she felt in her heart, truly.

“Erin? Director Shepperd just called for you, and wants to talk about Agent Jareau’s maternity leave. He’s currently on line two.”

Tearing her eyes from the window, she turned and gave Helen a small nod of acknowledgment as she made her way back to her desk and took a seat there. “Hello, Sir. News certainly travels quickly here.”

“Yes, well, your Ms. Garcia certainly acted like a klaxon when she announced what was happening earlier. Is Agent Jareau’s replacement ready to roll?”

“She is as ready as she can be. I know that Agent Jareau was working with her for the last two days to prepare her even more, but it’s not something you’re ever truly prepared for.” They fell into an easy conversation about other things that were happening in her department, and soon Erin had pushed the guilt to the back of her mind as she focused on her work and all that she had to do before heading home.


	73. Chapter 73

Erin paced the floor of the living room anxiously, waiting for David to come home with Aaron. He had texted twenty minutes ago to let her know that they were on their way, since it had been difficult to tear themselves away from Jennifer's side. From the picture that David had sent of little Henry, Erin could understand why, since the baby was absolutely adorable. Somehow, though, that picture had made her stomach churn with nerves, even though she knew that they were doing the right thing by filling Aaron in on the truth.

"Mom? Is everything all right? You were really quiet during supper."

She turned to see Karen standing in the doorway, a concerned look on her face. Waving her over, Erin wrapped an arm around her waist as she rocked them back and forth slowly. "I am going to do a very difficult thing that I can't tell you about now and have you understand. Not because you're not smart enough, but because you're not old enough. It's something I probably should have done three years ago, but didn't have to courage of my convictions." Karen turned a little to hug her tightly and Erin rested her head on top of her daughter's as she let out a deep sigh. "Now, I hate to say this, but I really need to be alone to have this conversation, so I'm going to have to ask you to head upstairs. Keep Bruce and Tabby up there, too."

"Yes, Mom," Karen said as she pulled away from Erin, kissing her cheek lightly before disappearing from the room, her feet sounding heavy on the stairs as she thundered up them. Erin hoped that she wouldn't wake Elise up, as she didn't want to have her youngest present for the bulk of the coming conversation. Letting out a deep breath, Erin went over to the coffee table and picked up her glass of wine and took a long sip. Just as she was swallowing, the door opened, and she knew that there would be no more avoiding this conversation. Her heart began to race wildly as she listened to David make his way through the kitchen and over to the front door, then as he opened the door and welcomed Aaron inside.

Taking a seat on the sofa, she brushed a piece of invisible lint off her skirt before smoothing it down her thighs and taking a few deep breaths. "Are you in the living room, _stellina_?"

"Yes," she warbled out, and then they were joining her. David took a seat next to her, immediately reaching out and taking hold of her hand, threading their fingers together as she tried to keep from hyperventilating at the sight of Aaron taking a seat on the loveseat across from them. "Thank you for being here tonight. I know that it was quite a chaotic day. I'm so glad that Agent Jareau had a healthy son."

"Yes. He's lovely. Is that why you asked me to come here tonight?"

There wasn't any real hint of malice or anger in his voice, which gave her hope, and she glanced up at David, seeing him give her an encouraging smile. Taking another deep breath, she nodded as she squeezed David's hand tightly, focusing her eyes on Aaron's as she opened her mouth to speak. "In a certain, circuitous, way, yes. It's been three years, which is too long, I know that now. But I can't live with this guilt any longer." Her hand clamped down onto David's, and Erin knew that she had to be hurting him, even though he said nothing. "You were right, I have been lying to you for the entirety of Elise's life. She is your daughter."

The blood drained from Aaron's face slowly as he slumped down in his chair, nodding slowly. "I knew that you were hiding the truth from me, we've danced around it for so long. But I think that our relationships have matured in the last three years to where I understand why you felt the need to hide behind my best friend. I did not treat you well, either time that we had sex, and I think that if it had been Haley, she would have made the same decision. Where do we go from here?"

Erin sagged against David as she shrugged a little. "I, I guess I haven't thought that far ahead, Aaron. I was expecting you to be angry."

"Truthfully? Ever since Haley left me, I've lost a lot of my anger. I ruined something very precious to me because of my singlemindedness, and I need to realise that if I am to make lasting relationships with my friends and children, I need to act a little more level headed." She nodded, easing her grip on David's hand before reaching forward and grabbing her glass of wine, taking a sip as she waited for him to speak, knowing that he wasn't done quite yet. "At this point, Dave is the only father that Elise knows. She's happy, from the pictures that I've been shown, especially on that pony."

"Don't even get me started on her Fred, Aaron. I was not consulted about that purchase before it was made."

Both men chuckled, and she glared at Aaron before fully letting go of David's hand and smacking his chest lightly. "She belongs on the back of a horse, Erin. And…"

"There's more?" she asked a bit snappishly, and David nodded. "What did you do?"

"I didn't think that she should be the only child in our family to have her own horse. Eventually, when they've found the one that they want, our other three children will have one, too."

Erin drew in a long breath as she tried not to react poorly in front of Aaron, knowing that her fiancé had chosen that perfect moment where she couldn't protest to give her this information. Aaron seemed to understand her dilemma, as he gave her a small smile. "I know that she's probably sleeping, but do you think that we could go up and see Elise before I head home?"

Erin nodded and rose to her feet, giving David a look that he replied to with a winning smile. Shaking her head a little, she made her way to the stairs, knowing that Aaron and David would follow her, unable to look back at them for how shaky her legs were. A small smile spread across her lips to see that Karen's light was still on, and she let out a deep sigh as she strode past her room and over to Elise's room. Quietly as she could, Erin opened the door and stepped inside, tiptoeing over to her bed and gazing down in love as she felt the two men come up behind her.

Aaron's hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she looked back at him, giving him a small shrug. "She's so beautiful. I know that I saw Dave's pictures of her, but to be able to see her in real life like this, it just reminds me of how precious and fleeting life is. Do you think she'll have my height?"

"God, I hope not! That will make her taller than me," she whispered, watching as their daughter stirred a little, turning away from them as her little thumb was thrust into her mouth. "But I do hope that she's inherited some of your sense of righteousness. Maybe she'll make better decisions that I have in my life."

Aaron's hand tightened affectionately, and she glanced up to see that he was crying silently, and she smiled sadly before letting out a little sob of her own that was quickly muffled by Aaron pulling him tightly to his chest. "You made the best choices that you could, given the circumstances." She nodded a little as she allowed him to hold her as they cried together, somehow finding a place of peace in this tender moment.


	74. Chapter 74

It had been two weeks since she had told Aaron the truth, and it truly felt like there was an enormous weight that had been lifted from her heart. Even Helen had noticed the lightness of her attitude, and she found herself easily bringing up the fact that things were now slightly better between her and Aaron. And now, her team was out on a truly brutal case, one of the worse ones that she had seen, and she couldn't wait until he was back home.

"It's going to be a late night, Erin."

She looked up from the article she was reading in the latest linguistics journal, flushing a little from guilt even though Penelope had no idea what she was reading, nor why she was reading it, and gave her a small frown. "I'm sorry?"

Penelope let out a light, frustrated, sigh as she plopped down into the chair in front of Erin's desk. "I take it that he forgot to call you. Typical. They all get so engrossed in the case that they forget about their families, Jayje included. Except, she's at home, taking care of Henry. I know, I know, you don't have to say it, I'm rambling. This case just gives me the willies. Anyway, they think they know of a way to flush the unsub out of hiding, and that will involve them going to numerous nightclubs tonight, since this is his typical hunting night. He and Aaron have teamed up, while my Boo is dragging poor Reid around with him. That should prove to be an entertaining night for them."

Erin stifled her giggle as she scratched at her cheek. "I can only imagine the stories that will come out of tonight. And I suppose that you'll be here, guiding them the entire time?"

"Of course, that's what a good technical analyst does. Though I hope that they make progress sometime before two, because I need a little more than five hours sleep a night to function properly." Penelope shrugged a little before letting out a long breath. "I just wanted to touch base with you and see how things were going. I couldn't help but notice that things are more comfortable between you and Hotch."

Erin sat up a little straighter as she regarded Penelope closely. Even though she ostensibly knew the truth about Elise's parentage, she still wasn't certain that she could be brave enough to say that truth aloud in her presence, given how rocky things had been between them at the beginning of her pregnancy. "The birth of Agent Jareau's son led to a bit of a heart transformation for me. I found it difficult to keep carrying around so much guilt over what was between us. And so, I told him the truth. Elise is his daughter, biologically speaking. He has graciously consented to being known as Uncle Aaron, since Elise has only ever known David as her father."

The younger woman nodded solemnly. "I'm glad that you finally found the strength to tell the truth."

Erin smiled fleetingly as she looked back down at the open journal, wanting to get back to reading Alex's latest research. "It should not have taken three years to do so. Now, I hate to ask this, but I was in the middle of doing some research myself, and would like to get back to it."

"Of course, Erin." Penelope got to her feet and then stood there. Erin could feel her gaze on her, and she took a few seconds to pause before she looked up at her. "I'm really proud of you for this decision. It takes courage to tell that sort of truth when you didn't know if it would end up going well for you."

Before Erin could reply, Penelope turned on her heel and scurried from the room. Shaking her head a little, Erin smiled as she looked back down at Alex's article. There were parts of it that she didn't understand, but for the most part she found that she could easily follow the thesis that the woman was defending in her writing. Soon, it was five, and she was shutting down her computer before gathering her things, giving Helen a small nod as she shrugged into her coat and went over to the elevators, riding down to the second floor to pick up Elise. This was going to be her last year in the daycare facility, as they had already arranged for her to start pre-K the following autumn.

As she looked in at her daughter, Erin found herself strangely sad, wondering where the years had gone. Her life was so far from where she had pictured it being when she reached this age, but she didn't think that she would change a moment of it, since Elise and David had brought her so much happiness. Drawing in a shaky breath, she signed Elise out of the center and then lifted her up into her arms, snuggling her close before heading back to the elevators. She was a little surprised to run into Agents Prentiss and Todd in there, seeing that they were dressed to the nines, which she supposed was part of their tactic.

"Is this your daughter, Chief Strauss?" Agent Todd asked, and she nodded as she turned a little, allowing the women to get a better look at Elise. "She's so precious! Hi, honey!" Agent Todd reached out and stroked Elise's hand gently, and Erin listened to her daughter coo with pleasure. "How old are you?"

"I'm fwee!" she exclaimed as she held out her hand, holding up three fingers. Agent Todd nodded encouragingly, and for the rest of the short ride, Erin listened to them talk, a tender smile on her lips the entire time. Agent Prentiss gave her an odd look as they stepped out of the elevator, but she tried to take it in stride as she set Elise down on the ground, taking hold of her hand and leading her out to the car. Elise waved with wild enthusiasm to Agent Todd as she and Agent Prentiss passed them by, and she gave the woman a grateful smile when she returned the gesture before following Agent Prentiss over to her own vehicle.

"All right, darling, let's get you into your car seat," she sang out as she tossed her bag into the passenger seat before helping Elise get in the car, buckling her in tightly before slipping behind the wheel and starting the car. Before she pulled out of her spot, she checked her phone to see if David had reached out. "Daddy left us a message, Elise," she said as she turned a little, smiling at her daughter. "He wants you to know that he loves you very much, and will come in and give you a good night kiss when he gets home, since his job has him away from home tonight."

"Okay, Mama." Elise began to babble away at her as Erin started the drive home. This was one of the nightly things that she had grown to love so much, as Elise's language skills started to develop, since it allowed them to bond so much. A part of her wished that she had had this opportunity with her older children, but knew that their relationships were still just as strong, even without this extra time. And she was grateful to have this family of hers, no matter how complicated it was, since it proved to her that she had at least done four things right in her life.


	75. Chapter 75

A wide yawn split Erin's lips as she continued to flip through the television channels, trying to find something that would lull her back to sleep when she heard a familiar voice speak. It took her a few channels to realise what she had heard, and she hurriedly clicked back until she was on ZNN once more. What she saw stole her breath away, and she shook her head as all thoughts of exhaustion fled as she stared at Aaron, addressing the crowd of local reporters. Trying not to disturb Elise, Erin leaned forward and grabbed her phone off the coffee table, unplugging it from the charger so that she could bring it to her ear after she had dialed David.

"Just what does Aaron think he's playing at?" she hissed as quietly as she possibly could, stroking Elise's hair with her free hand. "If Elise weren't ill, I would be speaking louder, so you have her to thank for your eardrums."

"I take it that this is being broadcast nationwide?"

"No, David, I just actively watch all the local news outlets of the cities that you have cases in." Being quiet certainly didn't keep the sarcasm from her tone, and she listened to him chuckle a little as she waited for him to reply.

"This unsub is escalating and looking for targets with a higher value," he started to protest, and she could hear the others in the team approach, knowing that her time was limited.

"Yes, well, he also has two children that he needs to think about before putting himself at risk. Just like you have four children who you need to think about. Make certain that you catch the unsub before anyone else gets hurt."

"Yes, Erin. I love you. Give Elise two extra kisses for us and try to get back to sleep. Thank God it's the weekend."

"I will. I love you, too." She ended the call and sighed deeply, dropping the phone into her robe pocket before carefully lifting Elise up in her arms and carrying her upstairs to their room, settling her in the middle of the bed before shrugging out of her robe and draping it over the footboard before grabbing her phone and setting it on the table next to the bed before climbing into bed and curling her body around Elise's and stroked her hair again as she tried to soothe herself back to sleep. She always hated when her children were ill, and she only hoped that after Elise had thrown up, she was now starting to feel better, even though she was still running a temperature.

"At least we can sleep until we want, Leelee," she whispered before kissing the back of Elise's head and closing her eyes, her favorite song on her lips as she tried to calm her heart enough to get back to sleep, images of Aaron and David in danger invading her dreams as she slipped back into a fitful rest. The next thing she was aware of, someone was joining her in the bed, and she blinked her eyes open to see Tabitha settling in, her hair a wild mess of elflocks. "Baby, what time is it?" she croaked out, pulling Elise closer to her chest as she slept on.

"A little after ten. Karen and Bruce have already had breakfast and are working on their homework, but I didn't have any, and I'm still tired. Can we sleep a little longer?"

Erin nodded as she carefully sat up against the headboard, reaching out to ruffle her daughter's hair. "Feel free to do just that. It is a little too late in the morning for me to try to get more sleep. But if you'll watch Elise for a moment, I'm going to grab a book and come back here and spend the day reading in bed."

Tabitha gave her a small smile as she cuddled in close to her baby sister, and Erin let out a small sigh as she slipped out of the bed and first stopped in the bathroom, taking care of her needs before washing her hands and heading downstairs to the study, unsurprised to find her two older children in there, studiously bent over open books. "We're spending a lazy Saturday in bed, since Elise is not feeling well, still. When you're finished with your work, feel free to join me in our bedroom." Karen nodded absently as she wrote something down on the notebook next to her while Bruce looked up and gave her a small smile. She went over to the bookcase and chose an easy book to read, one that wouldn't require much concentration, before leaving her children in peace and heading back upstairs.

Elise was awake and watching Tabitha, who had managed to fall asleep in the short time that she was downstairs. "Mama, sick."

"I know you're sick, Leelee. Are you feeling any better?" Her daughter shook her head as tears began to roll down her cheeks, and Erin felt her lower lip tremble a little as she climbed back into bed, setting the book aside as she allowed Elise to crawl into her lap. Rocking her back and forth, Erin hummed lightly in an effort to soothe her baby. "Don't worry, we can just stay here and cuddle the whole day, if that makes you feel better."

"Otay, Mama." Elise snuggled in closer to her chest, her little hand opening and closing against her chest as she attempted to self soothe. Once more, her daughter quickly fell asleep, becoming heavy against her chest as she gently adjusted how she was holding her in order to be able to read her book. It didn't take her long to become engrossed in her story, and Erin was startled to feel the bed dip beneath new weight some time later. Glancing up from her page, she saw that Bruce had joined them, one of the Ben Bova books that he loved so much in his hands.

"Karen's making sandwiches for us all. And before you protest about me not helping her, I asked, and she shooed me up here, saying it was faster to do it all herself." He spoke quietly, trying not to wake either Tabitha or Elise as he made himself comfortable at the foot of the bed. "You're looking a little pale, too, Mom."

"It's the weird sleep and worry. I can't afford to catch sick," she said offhandedly as she smiled at him. "I hope that David doesn't mind us eating in here, since we don't usually do that."

" _Stellina_ , if it makes your life easier, I won't mind a thing."

Looking up, she saw her fiancé standing in the doorway, a soft grin on his face. "You're home."

"I am. Hotch wanted to stop by to see Elise before he went home, but I told him that it would probably be better if he came by after church tomorrow." Nodding, Erin gestured towards the bed, and he nodded as he found a free patch of space on the massive bed. "Is she feeling any better?"

"A little, I think. She's not quite as warm as she was earlier. And she hasn't thrown up again, so we have that going for us. If she's still not feeling better by the morning, I probably will stay home with her. Though Aaron is more than welcome to visit, still." David nodded and then Karen was entering, carrying a tray with plates of sandwiches for them all. "Karen, you should have let Bruce help you."

"I know, but I wanted to get this done quickly, and I had a mission. He can make supper, though."

"Hey!" he protested as Karen passed around the plates, leaving Tabitha's on the tray and setting it on the dresser before plopping down on the mattress next to Bruce and taking a huge bite out of her sandwich as she smirked at him. "I should have known that there was an ulterior motive there."

"Hey, we can make supper for our family together," David said. "Two hands will make it go all the easier." That seemed to put Bruce in a better mood, and he nodded as they all began to eat, and Erin felt her heart melt a little as she looked around at her family, so happy that they had come together so well.


	76. Chapter 76

"Head's up, when we get home, I want you to call Jordan into your office. She needs to talk to someone, and I don't think that Emily or Penelope are going to be able to get through to her."

Erin frowned a little as she turned her head to stare at her bonsai tree. "What's wrong with her?" she asked, wincing at how sharp her voice sounded. While Elise had seemed to get over her illness quite quickly, she seemed to have picked up a lingering malaise that wasn't bad enough for her to go to the doctor, but was still enough to affect her mood. "And before you say it, I know. If I still feel rundown by the end of the week, I'll see if my doctor can see me during my lunch break."

"You're getting good at reading my mind, _stellina_. And there's nothing really wrong, per se, but Jordan is struggling with what we see on our cases. I have the feeling that whatever she might see in counterterrorism is a lot less bloodless than being the media liaison of our team. The cases we deal with, having death so close to us, well, I think it's taking a far too heavy toll on her."

Erin sighed as she rubbed her temple with her free hand, trying to stave off the headache she could feel forming behind her eyes. "When do you think you'll be back?"

"We're taking off at seven, and it takes about four fours, so we'll probably be arriving back at the bullpen around four. I can make certain that she sleeps while on the plane, so that she can have a coherent conversation with you. Which, given how this case turned out, I think will suit her just fine."

"All right, and I'll try to make certain that I don't bite her head off. Is there anything in particular that you think I should talk to her about?"

"How difficult it can be to separate yourself from what you're seeing. Use your experience in Milwaukee to build a connection with her. I just don't want Jen to feel like she has to return to us before she's ready. Especially with it being so close to Christmas."

She nodded as she let out a deep breath, knowing that he was completely right. "Fine, send her to me the moment you step out of the elevators on our floor. And let Aaron know that this is the team's last case until after the holiday. Maybe the longer break will help settle some of the uneasy feelings for her, as well."

"I'll let him know that, Erin. And I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you, too, David." They hung up and Erin let out a long breath as she thought about what she could possibly say to the younger woman. That thought occupied her mind throughout the rest of the day until she heard a timid knock on her door sometime after four. Looking up from the file she was going over, she saw that Agent Todd was standing in the doorway, a nervous smile on her lips.

"Agent Rossi said that you wanted to see me?"

Erin nodded, trying to use the same smile she used with her children to let them know they weren't in trouble as she gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. The younger woman nodded as she delicately walked over to the place indicated, the door clicking closed behind her, causing her to jump a little before she took a seat. "I wanted to touch base with you, Agent Todd. You've been with Alpha Team for five weeks now. How are you doing?"

"I think that I'm doing fine, ma'am. Why? Has someone said something about my performance?"

She hated how nervous Agent Todd sounded, and Erin cleared her throat as she picked up her glass of water and took a sip. "No, there have been no complaints. I just know that it can be a difficult transition to go from a position where you aren't face to face with the horrors that people can commit to a position with the BAU. You aren't a profiler, so you were never trained with how to deal appropriately with the feelings that come along with being in such close proximity with the awful things that you see. I should know, I was in that position myself a year ago."

"I'm sorry?"

Erin took a deep breath as she glanced at the picture of her children, trying to draw strength from their smiling faces. "I don't really like talking about myself, so I must ask that this stays between the two of us." Agent Todd nodded. "Before my David came out of retirement to fill Agent Gideon's role, there was a small gap of time, during which I had to head out onto the field with the team. The case there was brutal, and I hadn't had time to look at the case pictures before I got on the jet to head out to Milwaukee. During the course of the investigation, I stepped on one of the victim's hair, and it destroyed something in me. I was very glad to have had someone waiting for me back home, as I don't think I would have been in quite as good a position if I hadn't had him."

"Oh! Oh." Agent Todd's lower lip began to tremble, and Erin preemptively pulled out a few tissues and handed them over to her. "I have felt a little lost, especially with this last case. I know that Agent Rossi told me the unsub's family had been dead before we even arrived in Los Angeles, but I can't seem to find a way to turn off this guilt. I feel like I'm always way too late to do the right amount of good, and that I'm failing miserably."

Erin shook her head a little. "You are not failing in any way. Trust me, you are an asset to this team, and I will be sorry to see you go when Agent Jareau returns from maternity leave."

A timid smile spread across Agent Todd's lips as she nodded, becoming stronger when Erin smiled back at her. "That is wonderful to hear. How is your little girl doing?"

She recognized the deflection for what it was, but didn't mind it all that much, since she would be talking about her baby. "She's growing like a weed. This will be her fourth Christmas, and we both think that this will be the first that she truly remembers. Which is why I'm glad that David will be home for this one, since it's Alpha's turn to be home. Though I really hope that there are no pressing cases for any of the other teams over the holiday, since it is so hard to be away from family during this season."

"That is very true, yes. Well, I should let you finish your work. I know that Agent Jareau was bringing Henry in for the team to see before they went home for the evening." A wistful look quickly flitted across her face, and Erin knew what would help put Agent Todd in a better mood.

"Well, I'm going to head home and get supper started for us, so that David can eat whenever he decides to tear himself away from the newest BAU bambino. Do you want to come down to the daycare with me to pick up Elise?"

A beautiful smile spread across the woman's lips as she nodded. "I would love that, actually."

"Good. Give me two minutes to get my things together, and then we can head out." Another nod, just as enthusiastic, answered her, and Erin continued to smile as she packed her bag, understanding why David had sent this lonely soul to her. It seemed like Alpha Team was continuing to collect the broken people who just wanted to make the world a better place, and she hoped that Agent Todd would be able to go back to counterterrorism unscathed by her time in their presence.


	77. Chapter 77

"You made it!" Erin said warmly as she opened the door, smiling at Jessica and Haley.

"Sorry we're late, Jack was not the happiest with me when I dropped him off at Aaron's, and it took me awhile to get him to agree that it was Daddy's turn to have him at Christmas, and that I'd see him on Boxing Day. He was especially mad that he wouldn't be able to see Elise, once he found out where we were going. I promised him that we would come over for playtime after Christmas, if that's okay?"

Erin nodded as she took their coats, hanging them in the hall closet before guiding them into the dining room. "That would be fine. Elise has been looking forward to seeing her friend again, so I know that she'll be excited for that. And we're starting in the dining room to get food before heading into the living room." They nodded as they picked up plates, and Erin smiled as she turned and left them there, knowing that Haley was familiar with where the living room was. Entering that room, she made her way over to David's side and sank down onto his knee, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to support herself as she looked around the room at their guests. David's agent was in an animated conversation with her parents, and she could only begin to imagine the stories the woman was telling about her fiancé. Snuggling in a little closer to him, she let out a little sigh as she watched Haley and Jessica come in and find places to sit, finding herself a little surprised when Haley joined Karen and her friends while Jessica came over to their side and took a seat on the chair next to the sofa.

"Haley said that I have to get to know you both better, since I've only heard of you in passing," the younger woman said before beginning to eat. They fell into an easy conversation, and Erin found herself pleasantly surprised with how sweet Jessica was. There were none of the sharp edges to her that Haley had, and the softness stood in sharp contrast to her sister. "I never thought that, four years on, we'd be friends with you like this. Haley was so angry with Aaron and you when she read that letter from him, and I felt that righteous anger, too, because she's my baby sister, and I have to protect her."

"I completely understand," David replied evenly, his hand lightly squeezing her thigh. "But Erin was truly in a difficult position, and I found myself willing to protect her. Everything seems to have turned out for the best, though."

Jessica nodded as she finished up her plate before setting it aside on the coffee table. "We always try to protect the people we love as best we can. Sometimes, that can be a bit destructive, and we have to reel ourselves back in. Aaron knows?"

"He does," Erin replied softly as she looked over at Tabitha and Elise. They were reading a book together, and she smiled a little wider to see the way they interacted. There was something so perfect about their interactions, and she hoped that it would always be like that between them. "I just couldn't live with holding back the truth any longer. I hope that that didn't cause more problems for you and Haley."

"No, it was just a surprise, that's all. But I get it. It would be hard to hold that back for me, too." Jessica followed her gaze over to the children, and she grinned. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Elise really looks like a little Aaron. I mean, she has your eyes, but I can see his face in every picture that you send Haley."

Erin nodded. "I've been noticing that more and more lately."

The doorbell rang, and she frowned, wondering who else had appeared at their door that evening, since all the guests were currently in the living room. "I'll go see who it is, Erin," David whispered in her ear, and she nodded as they got to their feet, sitting back down as he left the room. Still, she couldn't help but anxiously watch the doorway for his return, feeling a bit foolish for the worry.

"Elise!" Jack called out loudly as he thundered into the living room, and Haley and Erin met eyes before looking at the little boy as he made a beeline for Elise.

"I couldn't say no to him, Haley," Aaron said as he appeared in the doorway, a slight smile on his lips. "I hope you don't mind us crashing your party, Erin."

"That's fine, I'm just glad that we can make Jack happy for Christmas. Make certain you grab a plate of food for both of you, there's more than enough food, believe me!" He gave her a small nod before going over to the tree and placing a few gifts there. That was a shock to her, as she had never asked him for anything for Elise, but it was a good shock, and as he stood once more, they exchanged a look of tender understanding before he went out to the dining room.

"I guess things really are better between you guys," Jessica said, and Erin nodded. "That's good, for everyone involved. Though the nosy part of me would love to know what he brought by."

"I have a slight feeling that those will be the first gifts Elise opens come Christmas." Jessica nodded as they settled back into their conversation, David squeezing in next to Erin as soon as he'd handed a small plate of food to Jack, along with a few cookies for Elise. "David, you know that that much sugar will keep her up."

"Or she could crash, you don't know which will happen."

"Then you're the one who will put her to bed and deal with the fussing and whining." He grinned as he nodded, leaning in to kiss her cheek softly. "Do you see what I have to put up with, Jessica? Someone who is thoroughly incorrigible and knows that he's handsome enough to get away with it. Though there are times when I wonder if I made the right decision in hitching my wagon to his star," she teased, listening to Jessica giggle at the exaggerated huff David gave out.

"You would be bereft without my cooking, _stellina_." She nodded as she scooted closer to him, welcoming his arm around her shoulders, his hand reaching up to gently push her head against his chest. "As well as missing a few other perks that I bring to your life," he growled lowly in her ear, and she felt a fast blush bloom in her cheeks as she glanced over at Jessica to see if she had made out the slightly ribald statement. From the way that she was covering her mouth with her hand, Erin knew that she had, and she rolled her eyes a little as she breathed in deeply as she allowed the conversations around the room to rush over her, feeling a wave of love spread through her heart when she saw Elise crawl into Aaron's lap and rest her head on his chest as she pointed to the book still in Tabitha's hands. He nodded and gesture for Tabitha to move closer to him as they settled in to read together, and even though she had promised herself that she wouldn't cry that holiday season, she found herself tearing up anyway, knowing that she was truly blessed beyond words.


	78. Chapter 78

Christmas morning dawned far earlier than Erin would have liked, since it seemed like Elise hadn't been able to sleep well after being woken up for the Midnight Mass at their church. After trying to put her back in her bed at least four times, they had given up and kept her in their room, and Erin had tried to grab a few more hours of precious sleep, even as she was kicked by her daughter's restless legs. Finally, all ideas of getting more sleep were dashed when Tabitha came barging into their room at eight, carrying a tray of food, followed closely behind by Bruce who had a tray of drinks.

"Merry Christmas, Mama, Papa Dave! We decided to make you breakfast in bed," she sang out as they all trooped in and took seats at the foot of the bed. Somehow, Elise and David had managed to sleep through the commotion, and she rolled her eyes a little as she reached over and shook his shoulder lightly, trying to get him to wake up. He groaned a little before stirring and opening his eyes.

"What time is it?" he asked through a yawn, and she chuckled a little as he sat up, his hair sticking up in all directions.

"Time for us to be awake and eating breakfast. It seems that Santa's elves have made us food already, and brought it to us. Along with what I hope is the strongest coffee that they could think to make?" she asked as she looked at Karen, knowing that she knew how to make good coffee. Her oldest gave her a few quick nods, and she allowed her shoulders to sag in relief as Bruce passed her a mug, and she drank from it deeply, relishing the warmth as it traveled down her throat to spread out in her system.

"This looks delicious," her fiancé said as he took hold of a plate and began to dig in, and Erin nodded as she took her own plate and dug in. Thankfully, Elise remained asleep while they were eating, as that would have been a hassle to try and keep her food on her plate while she bounced around like she normally did while eating. Once she was done, she handed the plate back to Tabitha, who put it on the tray with the others before gently waking Elise.

"Present time, Mama?" she asked before she even had her eyes open, and Erin laughed as she nodded, snuggling her toddler close to her chest before taking the muffin from Karen and handing it to her daughter as she slipped out of bed and then picked her up, holding her close.

"All right, let's head downstairs, we can change into clothes after we've opened presents." Her children all beamed at her as they raced from the room, and David chuckled as he got out of bed a little more slowly, picking up the trays and dishes and following her from the room. It didn't take long to get everyone in the living room, and then David was joining her and Elise on the sofa while the older kids gathered around the tree, sorting their presents into piles.

"Here, I'll bring Elise's gifts over to the sofa, Mama," Tabitha said, picking up the stack of gifts. Erin recognized all of them but for one, which she assumed to be from Aaron, but she knew that he had brought more than one gift, so she frowned for just a moment before seeing that there were also gifts wrapped in the same paper on the stacks of the rest of her children. Tearing up a little, Erin glanced at David, giving him a happy smile as she accepted the smaller pile of gifts that Bruce handed to her, while Karen gave David his presents.

"I wasn't expecting anything," she murmured lowly as she tried not to cry at the fact that Aaron had also gifted her and David.

"I wasn't, either, _stellina_ ," he said back, pushing his presents to the back of the sofa. Erin copied his movements before handing Elise her first gift, watching her tear into the present. That seemed to be the cue for everyone else to start opening theirs as well, and Erin contented herself with watching the children rip and shred the wrapping paper off the things that they had chosen for them. It seemed like they were all saving their unknown gift until last, and Erin held her breath a little to see what Aaron had thought to give her children.

"How did he know?" Karen asked softly when she opened her gift, revealing a set of Copic markers. Erin knew that Karen had wanted those for so long, but she had balked at the three hundred dollar price tag, instead investing in a couple nice sketch pads for her to use. "I didn't want to ask you guys for these, because they're so expensive. I was going to pick out a few pretty colours and ask for them for my birthday, but this? Mom…"

"I know, sweetheart, but it's a gift. Maybe you could draw him something as a way to say thank you?" Karen nodded absently as she ran her fingers along the box. Turning, she saw that Bruce was holding a large book on astronomy close to his chest, and from the smile on his lips, she knew that it was also something that he was pleased to have. "What did you get, Tabby?"

"I got a doll." From the way that Tabitha said that, Erin knew that it was much more than a doll, and she waited expectantly for her daughter to show off her gift. Tabitha gave her a little smile as she pulled it out of the wrapping and showed it off. From the first glimpse, Erin knew that it was an antique, and she turned her eyes to David, pursing her lips together in an effort to hold in her tears. "I think I'm going to name her Grace."

Tabitha hugged the doll close to her chest as she began to look through her other gifts once more, and Erin handed Elise her gift from her father. "One more?"

"Last one, sweetie," Erin said as she ruffled her hair, knowing that the tangles would be a pain to comb out later this morning, or afternoon, depending on how things went, but the joy on her face superseded all her irritation at the elflocks. Elise tore the paper off this last gift, and she watched her daughter frown a little at what was inside the box. Erin, though, felt her breath taken away by the thoroughly adorable riding habit that was there. "Here, let me read the note to you, Leelee." She picked up the sheet of paper and began to read, squinting a little since she didn't have her glasses at hand. "Every princess deserves a riding habit to match her status. Merry Christmas, Elise, from your Uncle Aaron."

Picking up the riding habit, Erin smiled a little to see that there was another gift beneath the clothes, and she smiled as she held out the box to Elise once more. "Fred!" she exclaimed as she pulled the stuffed horse out of the box, hugging it tightly to her chest as she slipped off the sofa and went over to Bruce, crawling into his lap and looking at the pictures in his book as he looked through it. With all of them occupied, Erin began to open her gifts, smiling to see the care that had gone into choosing each one for her, blushing a little at the lingerie set that David had purchased for her.

"Yeah, I probably should have left that one upstairs, but Tabitha asked about it when we were wrapping, and I couldn't give a good reason for it not to be included with everything."

She nodded as she closed the box and then picked up Aaron's gift to her. It was an oddly shaped box, and Erin frowned a little as she unwrapped it carefully, revealing a mysterious white box. Opening the lid, she let out a small gasp to see that Aaron had bought her a plant. "This is gorgeous," she said as she pulled it out of the box, revealing what she guessed was a succulent of some sort, since it didn't look like a typical plant, and the smile grew when she read the label, finding her suspicions to be correct. "I think that this has a home in my office," she said as she stroked the leaves softly. "You both know me and my children so well. I never expected this, David."

"Neither did I. He didn't say a word about doing this for us. Though I think that this might be his attempt at amends." She nodded as she scooted closer to him, welcoming his arm around her shoulders as they watched the children. The peace of Christmas filled her heart and she prayed that this coming year would bring them nothing but happiness and love.


	79. Chapter 79

Erin didn't know what bothered her more, cases with children, or cases involving sadistic things happening to women. The fact that this most recent case combined both of those atrocities set her nerves on fire, and she fought the urge to keep checking in on David. She knew that he was more than capable of taking care of himself, but there was still this part of her that wanted to wrap her arms around him and have him tell her that everything would be all right. But since this was a Florida case, she knew that that was the furthest thing from the truth. Knowing that she would get nowhere on her work when she was so keyed up, she slid open the bottom drawer of her desk, unlocked her gun box and pulled out her Glock and slipped it into its holster before affixing said holster to her arm and heading out of her office.

"I'm going down to the range for a few hours, Helen. If you'd have lunch waiting for me when I return, I'd appreciate that. You choose something for today, I don't really have a preference."

"Of course, Erin. And if I need to get ahold of you?"

"Then call the range directly. I don't foresee anyone calling me, but only pass the call along if you think that it is truly important."

Helen nodded, and Erin gave her a tight smile as she left the office and made her way to the elevators, pressing the button for the basement as she entered the car, trying not to feel too keyed up by all the people who were filling it as it made its way downwards. She wasn't surprised to find that she wasn't the only one to head towards the indoor range, however, and she smirked a little at the side eye she received from a few of the people headed in that direction. Erin knew that there were stories bandied around about her, since she did have a reputation for being a crack shot. Those looks brought out her more feral, competitive, side, which was precisely what she needed in that moment as she tried to work off the horror and frustration of the case that Alpha team was currently racing to solve.

"Chief Strauss! Would you like your usual lane?" She nodded as she picked up that box of ammunition from the agent in charge of the range. His was a very familiar face, but she hated the fact that she could never remember his name, and that he didn't wear his badge in a position where she could easily see it. And at this point, having known him for six years, it would be more than awkward for her to ask for his name. "All right, it is all set for you, and enjoy your time on the range this morning."

"Thank you," she said as she took the stack of targets from his hand and made her way over to where she normally shot, setting up her space as quickly as she could before slipping the protective headphones over her ears and shoving on a pair of goggles before unholstering her weapon and making certain that she was ready to go before loading up the first target and getting her stance ready. After that, she allowed herself to space out and get into the flow with her shooting, easily getting into her usual rhythm.

By the time she was through her box of ammunition, Erin had amassed a bit of a crowd, and she gave them all a tight smile as she holstered her weapon once more, adding the final target to the stack of successful shoots and then scooped them all up before handing the empty box to the agent in charge. "You know, you really should think about teaching classes on shooting, ma'am. There are a good number of people who could learn a lot from your technique."

"I'll have to keep that in mind," she replied with a soft smile. As she left the range, Erin found that she was so much more relaxed than she had been, and she took a deep breath as she travelled back up to her office, knowing that lunch would be there shortly.

"How did things go on the range today?"

"Here, just look at these," she said proudly as she settled the stack of papers on Helen's desk.

Helen thumbed through the stack, her eyes widening appreciatively at the precision Erin had drilled the targets with. "Remind me to never get on your bad side, Erin. I don't think that it would be a good idea."

She shrugged a little as she wiped at her nose, frowning a little to see that her finger was bloody. "I need a tissue," she said offhandedly, still staring at the streak of red that discolored her finger. Helen hurriedly handed one over before getting up and coming to her side, resting her hand on Erin's shoulder. "I'll be fine." Her voice sounded a little shaky, which surprised her, and she allowed Helen to guide her back into her inner sanctuary and over to her couch, which she sank onto gratefully.

"I'll go get some orange juice from the vending machine, just to make certain that everything's okay." Helen gave her a tight smile before scurrying out of the room, and Erin stretched out on the sofa, holding the tissue to her nose as she took a few deep breaths through her mouth, tasting the metallic flavor of blood as it dripped down her throat from her nose.

Wrinkling her nose delicately and hoping that wouldn't prolong the nosebleed, she dug her phone out of her pocket and texted her fiancé. _Darling, I'm certain it's nothing, but I have a bit of a nosebleed. I think that I've allowed myself to become rundown, and after lunch, I'll be heading home with work. Please call me at your earliest convenience, even if that's not until tonight, when you're back at the hotel. I love you._

After hitting the send button, Erin wiped at her nose once more, glad to find that the tissue came away clean, signaling that at least it wasn't a bad nosebleed. Balling up the tissue, she tossed it onto the table before leaning back and staring up at the ceiling, pressing her phone tightly against her breast as she waited for Helen to return with the juice. "Sorry it took me a little longer than I planned, Ms. Garcia stopped me to ask a few questions, and you know how she can prattle on." Erin nodded as she turned her head to look at plant that Aaron had given her for Christmas, finding that it gave her a small bit of peace as she pushed herself to sit up before taking the bottle from Helen's hand and shaking it a few times before unscrewing the lid and taking a long swig. To her immense relief, after the first few sips, she did begin to feel better.

"Did you answer her questions?" Helen nodded as she took a seat next to Erin. "That's good. When's lunch supposed to arrive?"

"In about ten minutes, I thought that you would be on the shooting range for a little while longer. Though it seems like it was a good thing that you finished when you did. I have the feeling that you would not have liked getting a nosebleed in front of your colleagues." She chuckled as she shrugged, frowning a little when that motion made her a little light headed. "Well, finish that juice up, and when you get food in your stomach, you might feel a little better. Did you eat breakfast this morning?"

Erin was about to snipe back that Helen was being a little overbearing, only to realise that she hadn't eaten that morning. "No, I didn't."

Without saying a word, Helen arched an eyebrow as she rose to her feet and went over to the door. "I'll be back shortly with lunch." Erin gave her a tight nod as she let out a deep sigh, knowing that she needed to take better care of herself, so that situations like this wouldn't happen again.


	80. Chapter 80

"How do you do it, ma'am?"

Erin looked up from the file she was working at to see that Agent Todd was standing in front of her desk, looking as if she was about to burst into tears. Gesturing for her to take a seat, Erin pulled off her reading glasses and let out a deep breath. "Do what, Agent Todd?"

"Look at all that horror each day and still keep a cool head. I know that the rest of the team is trained to deal with the horror and how to compartmentalize it all, but you also just take it in stride, as if nothing can ruffle you. Why is it that I feel like I'm going to claw my way out of my skin after seeing so much horror in such a short span of time?"

She licked her lips as she thought about how to answer Agent Todd. "There have been times when I do wonder if I can adequately separate my feelings from the facts of things. Especially when cases deal specifically with young girls. Having three of them of my own, it makes those cases just stab at my heart. And then I remember that I do have children, that they cannot afford to have their mother fly off the deep end. I would love to turn to alcohol to bury all the feelings that come with some of these cases, and it would be easy enough to do, given that I am a section chief, and don't have much immediate oversight. So, I take out my frustrations and sorrows in a probably just as unhealthy manner as drinking."

"Oh?"

"I go to the shooting range and fill as many targets with holes as I possibly can in the space of an hour. Any longer, and it would be overkill, any shorter, and I'm still left with the feelings of rage and impotence. But you have to have dealt with this in your work in counterterrorism."

"Not really. A lot of my job is done behind screens, so I'm removed from the blood and horror. And I hate to have called Agent Jareau back from maternity leave early, but I just couldn't handle these cases any longer. I'm sorry that I failed the team, and you."

Erin let out a deep sigh as she shook her head. "You didn't fail anyone, Agent Todd. You were put into a situation that tested your skills, and the cases that were given to you were far more serious than some of what we have seen lately. Don't leave here with your head hanging low in defeat. Leave here knowing that you did good work, work that I'll make certain is highly spoken of in your file."

Agent Todd gave her a small smile as she nodded. "Thank you, ma'am."

"You are most welcome. And if you need any references in the future, I will see that they are just." The woman nodded as she rose to her feet, taking a deep breath before tilting her head to one side. "Is there anything else, Agent Todd?"

"You're not nearly the ice queen that the others tend to make you out to be."

"Like in all things, Agent Todd, what we see is colored by our perceptions. At least you are able to see through the veil that I wear at work. Others are not so eager to be reminded that we're all human behind the masks we wear."

Agent Todd nodded once more, the sad look back on her face. "I hope that I get to work with you and Alpha team at some point in the future, Chief Strauss." Erin gave her a small smile in return as she nodded, watching the woman leave before she tried to regroup her focus and get back to work, but it seemed like her focus was gone. Letting out a long breath, Erin rose to her feet and walked over to her window, gazing outside as she tried to hold her emotions inside. She had known that there were people in the BAU who viewed her as a bit draconian, especially given how she had acted after having Elise, but hearing that confirmed by Agent Todd had hurt more than she had expected. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she stared out into the grey January sky in an effort to keep from crying.

" _Stellina_ , what out there has your attention?" David asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his chest as he rested his chin on top of her head.

"I was just thinking about something Agent Todd said to me as we talked about her return to counterterrorism. How many people in the bullpen call me a bitch behind my back?"

His arms tightened around her, as if he didn't want to answer her, and that was almost answer enough to tell her that it was too often and he didn't want to let her know just how frequently it was said. "There are people who don't understand you and your leadership style. And yes, four of them happen to be on my team. Kitten and I know the truth of who you are, and Hotch has started to lighten up a little, too. It will take longer with the others, because they can't quite make your private self and public self mesh into a cohesive unit."

"That's sweet, David, but that doesn't make it hurt any less." She turned in his arms and looked up at him. "I thought that I had developed a thicker skin over the years, especially with Elise's birth, but I guess that I'm still too tender at times."

"There's nothing wrong with being tender, Erin," he replied softly before leaning down and kissing her gently. Though she normally didn't like him kissing her when they were at work, but she was willing to make the exception that morning, since she was feeling so off kilter. As he deepened the kiss, Erin snaked her arms around his waist and held him tight to her. "If it weren't the middle of the day, I'd lock the door and continue kissing you."

"If we weren't at work, I'd allow you to do that now. There are some boundaries that we need to keep, unfortunately."

He nodded before pressing his lips against her forehead, breathing in deeply. "We could steal away for a few hours and get something to eat. Or we could feed another hunger. I mean, the team is home for a few days to catch up on paperwork, since JJ isn't slated to start until Monday."

Erin chuckled a little as she turned her face in order to rest her cheek on his chest. "An extended lunch break with you sounds like heaven on earth to me right about now. And seeing as how I don't have anything to fill up my afternoon, I believe that I could make that happen. Let me grab my purse?"

"You don't need it, Erin. I'll drive and pay, so all you need is your phone."

She frowned a little as she left his arms, heading over to her desk and grabbing out her purse anyway. "I would just like to have it on hand, just in case there's an accident. All right?" He gave her a small nod before taking hold of her hand and guiding her out of the office. "Helen, David and I are going to take a long lunch. If anything important arises that needs my immediate attention, please call my mobile, otherwise, I'll see you when we get back."

"Of course, Erin. Enjoy your lunch." Erin gave her a small nod before following David out into the hall, eager to spend some much needed time with him.


	81. Chapter 81

"I was going to give up book tours forever, _stellina_. She was so young, so full of promise, and I brushed her off like she was just another overeager fan. Until her natural drive and curiosity got her killed. If I had listened to her, if I had taken her theory seriously, Zoe might still be here with us."

Erin nodded as she reached out and caressed his face lightly, allowing her fingers to tug at his goatee a little to try and get his attention more focused on her. That seemed to do the trick, as he finally dropped his gaze from her forehead to her eyes, and she gave him a soft smile before kissing him deeply. "And you could very well have ended up hurt as well, darling. Even though that young man so obviously wants to know why he is the way he is, he's still a murderer, and even though you didn't fit his type, he still could have killed you to get at his preferred victim."

"I know that, I really do, but it still feels like I let her down. It didn't help matters that I seriously disrespected her mother without meaning to. I just felt like I had to do something more than just find her killer. I had to do something tangible. She saw it as pity, and refused to allow me to pay for the funeral."

Erin sighed as she ran her hand down his neck to spread her fingers out on his chest. "That is the reason why I fell in love with you, David. Because you have this heart that is the size of the Grand Canyon, and you try to make everything right, even if it hurts you in the process." She kissed him once more before tugging at his chest hair. "So, what changed your mind about going on book tours?"

"JJ, actually. She told me about the time that she heard one of my book lectures and it convinced her to enter the Academy, and now look at her. She's growing into a superb agent, and a real asset to the Bureau. If we're not careful, she could be headhunted to another agency, she's that good."

She chuckled a little as she nodded. "I have noticed how Aaron talks about her in his yearly evaluations of the team. There are times when I think that he has a crush on her, even though she is with Will?"

"Yeah, that's his name. And Hotch definitely has complicated feelings for JJ, but that's just one of the things that we don't speak about, especially since he is still in love with Haley. I keep hoping that they'll get back together, but I think that she is as unyielding as he is."

She nodded as she took a few deep breaths. "You're right, she is stubborn, and she wants something that she'll never be able to have. Haley knows that Aaron will never leave his job, because he feels that the job is who he is, and he can't step back from saving the world, since that's his calling."

"And it's something that I wish he would change about himself. But I think that's about as likely as my leaving you to remarry an ex-wife." She chuckled a little as she smacked his chest lightly. "See, you know how absurd that is!" David leaned in and pressed his lips against her forehead in a tender gesture. "Ah, Erin, you always seem to know how to pull me out of my funks. Never leave me."

"As if I could leave my heart behind, darling," she murmured before kissing him once more, gently pushing him onto his back so that she could straddle his body as she rucked her nightgown up her body, allowing it to fall onto the floor as she bent down and gave him a hard kiss, taking hold of his hands and bringing them up to her breasts, encouraging him to touch and feel her as they continued to kiss. Erin wasn't surprised when he flipped her onto her back, taking control as he was wont to do, something that she loved to have him do, and she hooked a leg around his hips as she pulled him closer, trying to tug off his pyjama pants in order to feel his skin against hers.

He broke the kiss and panted heavily in her ear as his hands met hers on his hips, skimming his pants down his legs before fitting himself between her thighs. Erin let out a soft sigh of pleasure as he began to press large kisses against her skin, working his way down her neck and upper chest, the soft hair of his goatee tickling and teasing her skin, enflaming the desire that was quickly filling her body. "I longed to do this while in Ohio, Erin. I wanted to be able to touch you and remind myself that you were mine. I knew that I had to keep my focus on the case, to bring Zoe's killer to justice, but there was still this part of me that needed the peace that your arms always give me."

She nodded as David rubbed his cheek against her breasts, arching up into him and gasping a little as his mouth closed around her nipple, suckling strongly as his hand slid down her torso before slipping between her legs and caressing her vulva, his thumb seeking out her clitoris and stroking it lightly as he continued to lavish kisses on her breasts. Erin tried to think pure, chaste, thoughts in an effort to keep from reaching the peak of her pleasure too quickly, but then David was dragging his lips away from her breasts, following the trail his fingers had taken moments earlier. Unconsciously, she arched up into his touches, wanting to be in closer contact with him as he brought her nearer that sweet pinnacle of desire. Just before she had found her release, David pulled away a little, and Erin struggled to get her eyes to focus on him. "David, please!"

"I know, _stellina_ ," he said as he continued to gaze at her. "There's just something so gorgeous about seeing you like this, your hips twisting, your skin flushed with a thin sheen of sweat, your nipples stiff and pebbled, every inch of your body dripping with desire for me." A low whine slipped from her lips at his words, and then she was gasping as he suddenly entered her, filling her completely before capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. There was none of his usual softness, but she found that she didn't mind this new side of him, welcoming him thrust for thrust as he quickly ramped her body back up to the precipice of orgasm until she was falling over the edge, her hands raking down his back as she came.

Panting for breath, she stared up at him, seeing that he was smiling sadly at her, and she felt her own face contort into a look of concerned comfort as she wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him down close to her, pressing soft kisses to every bit of his face that she could reach. "I love you, darling. I will always love you."

"Just as I will always love you, Erin." He slowly lowered his body until he was stretched out on top of her, and she welcomed his weight pressing her down into the mattress as he brought the covers up around their bodies. "I don't want to move from your arms until absolutely necessary."

"I love the sound of that, David," she purred out as she began to run her fingers through his hair, soon soothing herself to sleep with the rhythmic touches and the sound of his voice quietly singing their favorite song.


	82. Chapter 82

_You need to get to the bullpen. Now._

Erin frowned at the text that popped up on her screen, suddenly grateful that Jessica had agreed to pick up Elise and watch her and Jack so that she could work late, as she had had to catch up on a backlog of paperwork while Alpha was in Boston, dealing with the Reaper. But they had caught him, and he was in jail, awaiting arraignment, so she didn't know what the emergency was. Letting out a deep sigh, she shoved herself away from the desk and stalked out of the office, wishing that Helen had stayed late, too, as she was always so good at getting Erin to at least wear a tiny smile when she was feeling off.

There weren't too many people still in the bullpen, so she was able to see where Alpha was gathered around Agent Prentiss' desk, and she hesitantly came up to David's side, wrapping her arm around his waist as she looked up at the television screen that everyone was watching intently. A soft gasp slipped out of her lips when she saw the headline there. Glancing up into her fiancé's face, she saw the tight, drawn, look there and knew that this was very bad. "You're going to catch him, right?" Penelope asked as she looked at each of them in turn. "He can't just disappear again."

"He can do just that, Kitten. He stayed under the radar for so many years, feeding off the fact that he had Shaunessy by the balls. This will be like that, only on speed. And there's nothing we can do until he starts to taunt Hotch."

She tightened her grip on David's waist as she watched the blood drain from Aaron's face before he stalked away from them, making his way up to his office. The only indication that she had to his mood was the fact that his door closed so quietly that no one could hear it above the normal din of the bullpen. From that one move alone, Erin knew that he was holding on to his emotions with every fibre of his soul so as not to react in front of his team. Penelope looked at them, her eyes wounded and hurting, and Erin gave her a tiny, pinched, smile. "And there's nothing we can do?" she asked plaintively, and Erin sighed as she waited to take her cue from David, since he was more familiar with the case than she was.

"When he had everything planned down to which prison he'd be taken to while awaiting arraignment, I think that it's safe to say we're going to have to wait on him. I don't like the idea any more than you do, but beyond keeping tabs on his name, I don't think that there's anything else we can do but wait, and chase down all the other bad guys out there. Hotch kept working on the profile of the Reaper, even when he knew that it was a fruitless endeavor. I think that we can also do much the same, don't you?"

Erin watched them all nod solemnly, and she rested her head on his chest when their eyes turned to her, narrowing a little. Taking a deep breath through her nose, Erin lifted her chin a little, making certain that she was wearing a cool, appraising, look as she turned her face from them and looked up at Aaron's office, seeing the light burning steadily there. "I'll go up and check on him, ma'am," Penelope murmured, stepping away from the group to climb the stairs and knock on his door before stepping inside.

"I need to make a note of what's happened for the Director, David. We'll need to leave soon, so that we can pick up Elise from the sitter, since Alan has the children this weekend." Patting his chest a little, Erin turned and left the bullpen, making keep her steps even and measured, knowing that she was employing the same tactic that Aaron had just moments ago used, and rolling her eyes a little as she entered her office once more.

Hearing footsteps behind her, Erin anticipated David joining her, her shoulders relaxing as she let her guard down and instinctively began to lean back, only to feel a distinctly not David form behind her. Whirling around, she gasped to find Agent Prentiss there, staring at her with a flat look on her face. "I should have announced myself, I'm sorry."

"Quite. What can I do for you, Agent Prentiss?"

The woman took a deep breath as she darted her eyes away from Erin to look at the bonsai tree on her coffee table. "I, I've heard rumors in the bullpen about your youngest child. And while I don't like playing politics and participating in mean gossip, I think that if the rumors have any small bit of truth to them, then you need to make certain that you're taking the proper precautions. Foyet is a real piece of work, and clearly far more devious than we thought him to be."

Erin nodded firmly, knowing that the woman was speaking out of concern for her child. "Thank you for that, Agent Prentiss. I will keep that in mind."

"And she has me, Emily. I won't allow anyone to harm my family. Anyone." Erin shivered a little at the cold tone in her fiancé's voice, knowing that he was subtly threatening Emily, and the other woman understood that as she shot Erin a frustrated look before letting out a huff of breath. "Now, if you don't mind, I've come to collect my fiancée so that we can pick up Elise. I'll see you on Monday."

Erin watched as he guided Emily from her office, using that time to save the file she was working on before packing up her bag and joining David, taking hold of his hand and threading their fingers together as she let out a long breath. "She was trying to be kind, in her own way. I know that she can't stand me, because of how I maneuvered her into this position, and while I can't blame her, I still try to be kind."

"I know, _stellina_. This case just took so much out of all of us, and I reacted a little more harshly than I probably should have. Who's watching Elise?"

"Jessica. Well, probably her and Haley, since I think that she's spending a lot of time over at the Hotchner house." He nodded before kissing her temple lightly. "I just feel like I have to have her spend time with Jack, even if they won't know the full truth of their relationship until they're old enough to understand. And maybe I should have told the truth from the very beginning, since that would have made this whole thing that much easier."

"Hindsight is always perfect, Erin. While we can't know for certain what would have happened, if we had told Aaron about Elise straight off, I do know that I wouldn't change a moment with you." Erin's heart melted a little as she nodded, allowing David to lead her over the elevator. "Because I love you, and I know that we wouldn't have this love if anything had been different." She nodded as she allowed him to kiss her temple softly before they stepped into the elevator, the first feelings of unease starting to tug at her brain as she thought about Emily's words and how she would protect her family, if it came to that.


	83. Chapter 83

"I really hate when a team heads to Florida," Erin murmured as she took another look at the preliminary case file that Penelope had compiled before they headed south. There was just something inherently weird about this case, and she couldn't put her finger on why she was so bothered. She supposed that it was the element of male rape, which was uncommon and rarely discussed, but there seemed to be something tugging at the back of her brain, telling her that this would be a typical Florida case, and as such, she had to be prepared for bad news or a call from David about what was happening there. Letting out a deep sigh, Erin turned to her computer and tried to find her focus for the day.

By the time she was heading home, Erin found that she had a throbbing headache, and she hurriedly texted Karen, asking her to order pizza for them, knowing that it wouldn't hurt Elise for one meal. Trudging to the elevators, Erin rubbed at her temple and took a few deep breaths as she waited for the doors to open. Once in the car, she felt her phone rumble against her thigh, and she pulled the device from her pocket and brought it to her ear, a small smile on her lips to know that it was her David. "Hello, darling."

" _Stellina_ , it is so good to hear your voice. I probably won't be able to talk to you tonight before you go to sleep, or to say goodnight to Elise, since we're going to hit up the local nightclubs in an effort to figure out how this unsub is choosing her victims. So I'm taking a moment while grabbing a bite to eat to talk to you."

"It is so good to hear your voice, I'll have you know. I just wish that I didn't have the start of a horrendous headache happening right now. I already had Karen order pizza for everyone, and I think that I'm going to curl up in my chair in the study while they eat before giving Elise her bath and cuddling with her in our bed. I don't think that she'll mind the extra time with Mommy."

"I wish that I could be there to curl up with you both. This case is going to be a long one, even if we solve it quickly."

"That is the exactly what I feel, too. Florida cases are always like that." Erin winced a little as she reached up to rub her temple with her free hand. "Do you have time to sing me home? I'm at the car, and I need something to keep my focus."

"I can certainly start that out with you on your journey home."

"That's all I ask," she replied as she unlocked her door and slipped behind the wheel of their car, starting it before turning the radio off and placing the phone in the middle console before plugging the charger into it, so that the device wouldn't die during the drive. David's voice filled her mind as she drove, and she felt herself relax and the headache starting to ease away a little at the sound of his singing.

"Dave, we have to get going."

Aaron's voice came over the line, and Erin let out a soft sigh as David replied. "All right, Hotch. Sorry, Erin, it's time to head out."

"I understand. Stay safe out there, both of you."

"We will, Erin. I'll make certain that Dave doesn't take any risky chances."

She smiled at that, thankful that things had started to ease between the three of them over the last few months. "As long as my David makes certain that you don't take an unnecessary risks, too. Elise and Jack need both of you. Thank you for letting him have this time with me while on the case, Aaron."

"You are most welcome, Erin. We'll see you when we get home."

"I will hold you to that, both of you. I love you, David."

"I love you, too, Erin." He ended the call, and Erin smiled as she disconnected the call and drove in silence the rest of the way home. The garage door was opening for her as she turned into the drive, and she gave Tabitha a little wave as she pulled into the garage and turned the car off, closing the door as she made her way into the house.

"Hey, Mom," Bruce said as she stepped into the kitchen, coming over to her side and giving her a tight hug. "Is your head feeling any better?"

"A little, yeah. David sang to me for much of the ride home, which helped relax me and made me feel good. Is the pizza here yet?"

"No, Karen said that there are probably five more minutes until it arrives, since it was busy at the shop. Tabitha made you some tea, since she looked up on the internet that that's supposed to be good for you, and Karen's playing with Elise in the living room."

"That's good. I'm going to head into the study and curl up in my chair there until the food is here."

"All right, I'll send Tabitha in with your tea in a few seconds." She nodded before kissing his cheek. He rolled his eyes affectionately at her before taking her purse from her hands and pushing her towards the doorway. Nodding, she made her way through the house until she reached the study and sank down into her chair, spreading her blanket out over her legs as she rested her head against the back of it.

She had almost fallen asleep when she heard the door to the study open, and then Tabitha's footsteps were headed in her direction. "Here, Mama. It's rose tea, that's your favorite, right?"

She nodded as she opened her eyes to look at her daughter. "Thank you, Tabby cat." Her daughter gave her a soft smile as she sank to the ground and rested her head against Erin's legs. "How was school today?"

"Good. I received top marks on my history essay, and my teacher wants me to consider going into AP History as a freshmen. Which I know is still three years away, but she thinks I'm smart, Mama, and…"

"I understand, baby. It makes you feel good to be recognized for your intelligence. And if you want to do that, you know that David and I will support you, one hundred percent. Your father, too, I just know it."

Tabitha look up at her, grinning widely as she nodded. "Do you think that you and Papa Dave could take a week off this summer and we could go to the shipwreck museum in Michigan? I think my teacher said that it's by Lake Superior, which is in the Upper Peninsula. I'll have to check, but it sounded so fascinating, Mama."

"We'll have to see, Tabitha. But even if only one of us can take a week off, I think that we might be able to make that work. I've always wanted to get to Michigan, anyway, so this will be the perfect reason to go." Reaching out with her free hand, Erin ruffled her daughter's hair before sipping at her tea, allowing the warmth to fill her body as she stared out the window. "But we'll have to find something for Karen and Bruce to do, too, so that they don't feel left out."

"I can totally do that, Mama." Tabitha let her head thump back down on Erin's legs, and she ran her fingers through her daughter's hair as she waited for Bruce to let them know that their food had arrived, her headache starting to fade away as she thought about the near future and the promise of a happy vacation with her family.


	84. Chapter 84

Erin stretched as she woke up, looking over at the spot where David normally slept. He had been in New Jersey on a child abduction case since the day before yesterday, and she found that she missed him deeply, especially when he told her that Kyle had been found, dead. Child deaths, child murders, always hit her the hardest, and while she had wanted to keep Elise with her the last few two nights, she knew that it wasn't wise to disrupt her daughter's sleep schedule. Still, she hoped that he would be home that afternoon, so that she could curl up close to him that evening. She didn't know why, but she had been feeling a little rundown for the last few weeks, and no matter how much sleep she got, Erin felt like she was running consistently on empty.

Shaking her head a little, Erin slipped out of bed and padded over to the dresser, picking up her clothes and bringing them into the bathroom so that she could get everything finished at once. Erin frowned a little to see the dark circles beneath her eyes, and applied a thicker layer of concealer that morning, needing to disguise that part of her, in case anyone commented on her wan appearance. "If I were in a Jane Austen novel, everyone would say that I have consumption," she muttered to herself as she finished her makeup before heading to Elise's room.

Her daughter was just starting to stir as she turned the lights on to her room, and Erin smiled as she went over to her side. "Good morning, my darling girl. It's time to get you ready for daycare."

Elise gave her a sleepy nod as she lifted her arms up. Erin quickly scooped her up and cuddled her close, pressing a few quick kisses against her head as she carried her over to the closet and picked out an outfit for the day before bringing her into the bathroom, leaving the clothes on the counter where Elise could reach them before giving her some privacy, knowing that that was important for her growing independence. "All ready, Mommy," her daughter said a few minutes later, and she smiled widely at her daughter as she held out her hand, clasping it firmly as they slowly made their way downstairs.

The rest of her children were already at the table, eating breakfast, and Erin watched Elise climb up into her own chair and pull her plate close to the edge so that she could easily eat while Erin made her coffee for the morning before snagging a piece of toast from the communal plate and slathering it in apple jelly. While she ate, she read the newspaper, frowning a little at a few of the headlines before she set it aside and washed off her hands.

"All right, the bus comes in ten minutes, I hope that you're all ready for the day. I have get to work, so Elise and I are out the door. Have a good day!" She kissed each of her children in turn before helping Elise into her jacket and bringing her out into the garage. As soon as Elise was secured in her car seat, Erin slipped behind the wheel and backed out before heading towards work. Five miles into her drive, her phone rang, and she awkwardly answered it while keeping her eyes on the road. "Hello?"

"Good morning, Erin."

She frowned a little to hear Aaron's voice on the other end of the line, expecting it to be her fiancé who had called. "Aaron, what can I do for you this morning? I am driving, just so you know."

"I was hoping to catch you before you left for work. Haley isn't answering my calls at the moment, so I can't talk to Jack, and this case just makes me want to talk to one of my children."

Erin heard the frustration and hurt in his voice and let out a soft sigh. "Can you give me a few seconds? I'm nearly at the first stop sign, and then I can put you on speakerphone, so Elise can talk to her Uncle Aaron."

"Thank you," he replied, and she smiled a little as she slowed for said stop sign.

"Elise, Uncle Aaron wants to say good morning," she said as she pressed the speakerphone button before handing the phone back to her daughter. "Be careful that you don't end the call, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." She handed the phone back to her daughter and then listened to the conversation that she had with Aaron. "Hi, Unka Aaron!"

"Hello, princess. Are you having a good morning?"

"Uh huh. Mommy picked out my favorite dress to wear to daycare, and I can't wait to see my friends. We're learning our letters and I've been pointing them out to Jack when we watch Sesame Street together."

Erin felt her eyes widen at her daughter's honesty, knowing that she hadn't broached that particular topic with Aaron yet, hoping that he wouldn't be angry with the fact that Jack and Elise had been getting to know each other. "So that's where he's getting all his smarts from. I'm proud of you, princess.

"Aunt Jessica says we're her little genies."

"I think you mean geniuses, sweetheart," Erin interjected, listening to Aaron chuckle on the other end of the line. "Those are two very different things."

"You're mommy's right, Elise. But I'm glad that I have two little geniuses in my life. Do you think that I can talk to your mommy now?"

"Yes!"

Elise handed the phone back to Erin, and she awkwardly took hold of it once more, taking it off speaker before putting the device to her ear. "I know, I should have told you that they were getting to know each other, but it never felt like the right time."

"I already knew. Jack is as good at keeping secrets as Elise is, and he told me that he's been teaching Elise how to work cases with him, like we do."

"That has to be so adorable," she whispered, glancing at the rearview mirror to see Elise's feet kicking happily as she hummed to herself. "I'm glad that they get along and are able to know each other. When, when they're old enough, I do want to tell them the truth. Because they deserve to know each other."

"I'd like that, too. Thank you for this, Erin. I know that you are more than a little busy this morning."

"That's most mornings, actually, especially when David is gone, but you get used to it. How's the case going?"

"It could be going a lot better. Someone is lying, and we can't quite figure out who. But Detective Lancaster is a little too close to this case to have sound judgement, which I think is seriously clouding the waters. I just hope that we make a break in things today, so that we can be home. Erin…"

"Yes. Drive David home, since I'll have to make adjustments to supper to include you, but we would be glad to have you at our table, whenever you get home. Just let me know if it will be today or tomorrow, all right?"

"I think that I can handle that, Erin. Yeah, Dave, I had to talk to one of them today. Of course." He cleared his throat a little before returning back to her. "So, you heard my side of that conversation. Here, he wants to talk to you."

Erin chuckled a little as she listened to the phone change hands, and then let out a sigh when she heard David's voice. "Good morning, _stellina_."

"Darling, good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Not as well as when I'm in your arms. But that's always the case. So, we're going to have a guest when we get home?"

"Yes. It is good that Elise gets to know him, after all. Now, stay safe out there, and find the person who killed that little boy."

"That is the plan, Erin. I love you, and tell Elise that I love her, too. Until tonight, when I'll hopefully be able to kiss you again."

"That sounds like heaven. I'll talk to you soon." Kissing into the phone, Erin ended the call and dropped the phone into the center console as she drove the rest of the way into work, singing along to the radio along with Elise.


	85. Chapter 85

Erin stared at the pregnancy tests in her hands, not really believing what they were telling her. She was three years older than she had been when she had ended up pregnant with Elise. She had thought that she was entering menopause, since her periods had been so spotty. And while she knew that David would support her no matter what, she wasn't entirely certain that she was ready for another high-risk pregnancy. Taking a deep breath, Erin flushed the toilet and slipped out of the stall, heading over to the sink and dropping the tests into her pocket before washing her hands and taking a look at her reflection. There was no way that she could tell David this news now, not when the team was so desperately searching for the person who had released anthrax into the city.

Shaking her head a little, Erin took one last look at her reflection before heading back to her office, needing a few moments to regroup before she went and touched base with Aaron to see where the team was on the case. She also knew that she would have to brave the horde that had descended upon the bullpen once it was confirmed that they were dealing with anthrax, and that unsettled her stomach even more. Helen caught her eye as she entered her office, and she went to shake her head only for her assistant to frown. "What?"

"Agent Hotchner is in your office, waiting for you, ma'am. He seems frustrated."

Erin nodded as she unconsciously touched her torso. "I understand that feeling well. I'm pretty frustrated with this case, too, and my inability to call and check in on my children. At least I know that Elise is safe, since she's here." She let out a deep breath. "There's also something that I need to talk with you about, when I'm finished with Aaron."

Helen nodded, giving her a tremulous smile that Erin returned before making her way into the inner office. Aaron was standing by her desk, looking at the family pictures that she had carefully lining her desk, reminding her of why she continued to do the job she did. "Helen said that you had come to see me, Aaron. Is everything going well with the case?"

He looked up at her and gave her a curt nod. "It is, I just…I want to call home and see how Haley and Jack are doing. Just like JJ wants to call Henry, and you probably want to call your children. At least…"

"At least we know that Elise is all right."

Aaron nodded as he came over to her side, resting his hand on her shoulder as they looked at each other. For some reason, Erin felt like she was going to cry, and she looked away from him as she let out a shaky breath. "Do you think that we could go and see her? I just need to see that one of my children is all right."

Erin glanced at her watch, seeing that it was just after nap time, and then back up at Aaron. "That would be fine. I sort of need to hold my little girl close to my heart right now." He nodded a little before hurriedly leaning in and giving her the briefest hug she had ever experienced, as if he didn't want anyone to accidentally see a tender moment between the two. Still, she was grateful for touch, since she didn't know when she'd be able to hold David close like that. "All right, let's head down to the daycare."

He nodded as he followed her back out the door, and Erin gave a short smile to Helen before heading for the stairs, knowing that would be the easiest way to avoid the hoopla that was surrounding the bullpen. "The stairs? Really?"

"You run your ass off in the field, Aaron. I need some way to remain healthy. Plus, this way I stand a larger chance of not running into the General. Since I was shut out of this op, I don't want to accidentally tangle with anyone outside our department, since then I might be brought into something that I really don't want to be a part of." He chuckled, and Erin shrugged as she continued her downward descent, finally stopping on the second floor and waiting for him to catch up to her.

His heavy breathing told her that perhaps he wasn't in as good as shape as he thought he was, and she chuckled as she opened the door. "I guess I'll have to take the stairs more often," Aaron said lowly as he came up next to her, and Erin nodded as they finished the short journey to the daycare room.

The worker at the front desk smiled as he gave them visitor stickers, and Erin wrote her name on hers before placing it on her chest and stepping behind the desk, Aaron close behind her. "Unka Aaron!"

She looked to see their daughter get up and run over to their sides, throwing her arms around his legs before looking up at him expectantly. Aaron was quick to lift Elise up into his arms, and then she was hugging his neck tightly as they went over to the table she had gotten up from. "Have you been coloring, Leelee?" she murmured as she sank to her knees next to the table.

"Uh huh. I'm making a picture for Papa. Will he be home tonight?"

"I hope so, darling. But we just wanted to come down and see you for a little bit. Would you like Uncle Aaron to read a story to you?"

"Yes!" Elise got up from the table and ran over to the book nook, and Erin turned her gaze on Aaron, knowing that she had to tell him now, so that he would know to look out for David in the field on this case.

"Before she comes back, I need you to know. I'm pregnant again, and before you ask, yes, it's David's child. I just found out, before I knew that you were in my office, and now I'm a little more terrified than I would ever admit to anyone but you. You saw what Elise did to me, and I can only imagine that this pregnancy will be harder. Please, take care of him out there, all of you, because I am going to need him by my side for these next nine months."

To her shock, Aaron nodded and took a seat next to her on the floor as Elise ran back up to them, carrying a good number of books. "I'm afraid I'm only going to have time for one story, princess."

Elise started to pout, but Erin shook her head as she pulled her daughter down into her lap. "Uncle Aaron is working a case right now, darling, and so he only can read one with us. I'll stay and read a second before I have to go back to work as well. All right?"

"Fine," Elise said sharply, sounding so much like Erin in that moment that both she and Aaron had to hold in their laughter, though they did both raise their eyebrows at each other as Aaron opened the top book and began to read to Elise, his strong voice soothing Erin immensely as she listened to the story he told.


	86. Chapter 86

Erin had had misgivings about sending the team to Canada, since they had a specific team that dealt with international incidents involving American citizens, but Aaron had pointed out the fact that that team was currently embroiled in a case in Japan, and this case needed their attention immediately, and Erin had found that she had to agree with his assessment. Still, she had a bad feeling about this case from the beginning, and it looked like that feeling wasn't going to leave any time soon. And the fact that she hadn't told David, or anyone else besides Aaron, that she was once more pregnant hung over her head like the sword of Damocles.

Letting out a long breath, Erin tried to calm the roiling in her stomach, but found it was a losing battle. Pushing away from her desk, she tried to walk as smoothly as possible past Helen's desk, giving her a small nod as she left the office and made her way to the bathroom, thankfully able to get to an open cubicle before the urge to throw up grew too great to hold back. Falling to her knees, Erin lost the contents of her stomach into the bowl of the toilet, her throat burning from the bile that chased its way up her throat. She couldn't hold in her tears, letting them stream down her cheeks as she continued to be sick for far longer than she had thought possible.

Finally, she was finished, and she laid her head down on her arm, ignoring her misgivings about how many germs she was potentially breathing in as she struggled to just find her sense of equilibrium. With a shaky hand, she reached out and flushed the toilet as she pushed herself to her feet and made her way out to the sinks. "Are you okay, ma'am?"

Erin quickly turned her head to see that Penelope was washing her hands slowly, giving her a concerned look. "I'll be fine, Ms. Garcia."

She cocked her head to one side, as if she didn't quite believe Erin, and Erin struggled not to let any emotion show on her face. "I think that you're trying to give me the brush off. There's no one in here, so you can tell me the truth."

Erin shook her head before turning on the faucet and catching a little water in her hand, rinsing out her mouth a few times as she took care not to get anything on her blouse. "There's nothing that I can say for another four to five weeks. And I need to tell David first. Do I make myself clear?" She knew that she was being a bit harsh, but she also was wrestling with the very real possibility that she could still lose this pregnancy before it became viable. Penelope's eyes widened a little as she looked down at her torso before meeting her eyes once more. "Penelope?"

"I completely understand. May, may I walk with you back to your office?"

Erin gave her a small nod before drying her hands and heading towards the door, knowing that Penelope would follow her, wanting answers about things she wasn't ready to talk about. "Hello, Penny," Helen said as they came back into the office, and Erin gave her assistant a small smile as she went through the door into her inner office and heading over to her table, knowing that Penelope would want to sit and talk for a little bit, and not wanting to let her get too close.

"All right, I know that you don't want to spill anything, but do Helen and I have to start looking out for you again? Will this be like Elise's time?"

Erin let out a long breath as she shrugged. "I think that it will most likely be that way, yes. If things continue down the right path." Blinking a little, she looked over Penelope's shoulder at the wall, trying to focus on a happy thought so as not to cry. "Now, how are you handing the case?"

"It's so weird, and I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels. From all that the team has called me, though, they also feel the same way. Is there anything that I can do to help you out right now?"

She shook her head as she let her shoulders slump a little. "No. I have a doctor's appointment to get to later this afternoon, so I should get back to work so that I have a clean slate when I leave."

"All right. But if you do need anything, anything at all, my door is open to you." Penelope reached across the table and took hold of her hand, squeezing firmly as she looked into her eyes. "Last time, I wasn't kind, I wasn't nice. This time, God willing, it will be different."

Erin's smile wobbled a little as she nodded, getting up from the table and heading over to her desk. "I will definitely keep that in mind, Penelope. Thank you. Now, we should get back to our work, yes?"

Penelope nodded as she headed towards the door. "Rossi loves you so much, I just wanted to let you know. Your name comes up so often, but I don't think that he realizes it. It's really sweet, and I hope that Kevin and I can grow into that sort of love." Then she gave her a small wink before slipping out of the office, closing the door behind her. Erin shook her head as she turned back to her work and got down to business. Still, it had been nice to hear that David talked about her when he was in the field, that he thought about her. A part of her heart had known that that was the case, but to have it confirmed by an outside source was wonderful.

"It's almost lunchtime, Erin. Did you want me to get you something to eat?"

Erin looked up from her computer and checked her watch, seeing that it had indeed gotten that late. "No, I'm actually heading out in about fifteen minutes to go to the doctor. Don't worry, everything is fine, this is just a routine appointment. But I will be out of the office for the rest of the day, so hold all my calls until the morning, unless it is extremely important."

"Of course, Erin," Helen responded, giving her a searching look. Erin just smiled placidly at her as she turned back to her work and focused on finishing this report before she had to head out for the afternoon. A part of her was upset that she had allowed Penelope to know about her condition before she told David, and she hoped beyond hope that the younger woman would keep this under wraps until she reached that twelve week milestone.

"Oh, little one, I know that you're in there, growing. I can tell by the way that my clothes are starting to fit oddly. But I need you to want to stay, now that I know about you." She kept her voice hushed and low as she rubbed her torso absently. A part of her knew that this pregnancy would be even more difficult than Elise's, since she was three years older, and shouldn't have ended up pregnant. It was a miracle that she had ended up pregnant with Elise, for it to happen again was just begging Fate to intervene and send her a disastrous result this time. God willing, though, that wouldn't happen, and she would eventually have a fifth child to love, and to complete her family.


	87. Chapter 87

Erin frowned, feeling like everything was going to hell far faster than she had thought possible. Penelope had unexpectedly been called to Canada to help the team out on the case, and she found that her heart was even higher in her throat threatening to choke her. The feeling of dread that had hung over this case refused to go away, even after she had received the sonogram pictures at her first scan. She knew that it wasn't normal to receive them these days, since things were becoming more digital. All she wanted was to be able to show her fiancé the evidence of their child, but it felt like he would never come home from this case.

Elise gave her a small smile from her booster seat as she ate, and Erin smiled at her sadly. "Are you missing your brother and sisters?"

Her daughter nodded. "They're at Mister Alan's, right?"

"That's right, darling. It's their time with their father. Did you have a good day in daycare?"

"Yeah! We got to paint, and I'll be able to bring my picture home tomorrow. I really like painting."

"Then we'll have to do some this weekend, once your siblings are home. Would you like that?" Elise nodded before shoving a piece of broccoli in her mouth and chewing noisily. Erin arched an eyebrow at her daughter, and Elise shrugged a little before chewing more quietly as she continued to eat. "I'm hoping that Papa will be home soon. I miss him."

"I miss Papa, too. Will he catch the bunsub?"

"It's unsub, darling, and he will catch him, because that's what Papa and Uncle Aaron are good at, along with the rest of their team. Unsubs never win, because good always defeats evil." Erin knew that she was simplifying things for her daughter, that there were times when evil men won in the short term, but eventually, eventually, they fell. But her daughter wasn't old enough to understand that distinction yet, even though she and David had vowed not to baby their daughter, instead talking to her like she was an adult, even if they scaled things down for her knowledge level. They continued on with their conversation as they ate, and then Erin was putting the dishes in the washer before carefully scooping Elise up into her arms and carrying her upstairs on her hip, bringing her into the bathroom and setting her down on the floor. "Wait right here, and I'll be back with your pyjamas, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." Elise gave her a wide smile that melted Erin's heart, and she smiled back before slipping out of the bathroom and heading to Elise's bedroom, grabbing a pair of pyjamas before going back, finding that Elise had taken off all her clothes, setting them in a pile by the toilet in an effort to be neat. "Can I have bubbles?"

"Of course, darling." Erin sat on the edge of the tub and turned the water on, letting it get to an appropriate temperature before adding the bubble bath and lifting Elise into the tub, watching her play in the shallow water for a little while, knowing that she loved bath time. Finally, though, she knew that she had to get her out, and Erin reached her hand into the water and pulled the plug, allowing the water to drain away as she grabbed Elise's towel and wrapped it around her body, quickly drying her off before lifting her out of the tub and drying off her feet. "Let's brush our teeth now."

Elise nodded as she climbed her stepstool, grabbing her toothbrush and sticking it beneath the faucet as Erin turned on the water. Together, they cleaned their teeth before Erin brought her into the bedroom, having her climb into bed while she chose a book to read to her. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, Leelee. Sleep well, my precious girl." Leaning over, Erin pressed a soft kiss to her daughter's forehead before flipping on her nightlight and making her way over to the door, watching her daughter curl up around her stuffed bear as she snuggled down into the mattress. Letting out a little sigh, Erin turned off the lights and closed the door almost all the way before making her way downstairs and into the study. Heading over to her wingback chair, Erin curled up in it as she picked up the book she was currently reading, losing herself in the text.

"Not even a welcome home for your beloved?"

Frowning a little, she replaced the bookmark, and set it on the table as she looked upwards. "David! You didn't call!"

"I did, _stellina,_ you just left your phone in the kitchen." She blushed as she nodded, suddenly remembering that little fact. Holding out her arms, she allowed her fiancé to pull her up into a tight hug, seeing a deep well of sadness in his eyes. "I was tempted to bring Kitten home for a nightcap, but she insisted that she just wanted to go home and sleep away the taint of this case. And I don't blame her. It was truly awful."

Erin nodded, thinking about what she had seen in the preliminary reports that Aaron had been sending to her email. "I know only a little bit of it, I'll know more in the morning when you start to file your reports from the trip. But I think that I know a way to help you wash away the disgusting feeling of this case."

He cocked his head to one side, and Erin gave him an enigmatic smile as she took hold of his hand and brought him into the kitchen, slipping the envelope that contained the proof of their baby out of her purse and handing it over to him. The frown on David's face deepened a little as he slid the pictures out, only for his eyes to widen in shock, his mouth dropping open in shock as he looked from the sonogram pictures to her stomach to her face a few times. "Erin?"

"Papa?" she queried back, feeling tears sting her eyes as he dropped the pictures onto the counter before wrapping her up in a tight hug, lifting her off her feet as he swung them around a few times. "I found out that I was pregnant during that anthrax case, but my doctor confirmed it today. I still have to go to the Director, but I want to wait three more weeks, to be officially out of the first trimester. But I am hopeful, so hopeful, that this little one will want to stay. Already, it's been an easier pregnancy, even if I am more tired."

He set her back down on the ground before cupping her face and kissing her deeply. "I will do anything that I need to, in order to make this pregnancy continue to be smooth and easy for you. I know how much hell you went through with Elise, and our next baby shouldn't be that difficult."

She nodded, tears rolling down her eyes as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest as she took a few dep breaths. "Aaron already knows, I told him while we went to see Elise during the anthrax case, because I wanted him to know just how much I needed you to be safe out there. That I didn't know how I'd be able to handle a high risk pregnancy without you. That he had to protect you as much as he possibly could."

He nodded as he pressed his hand against her head, holding her close as he nodded. "I completely understand, Erin. Oh, god, I'm going to be a father again."

"You are, darling," she murmured, holding him close as she sent up a prayer that this was the start of something better for her family and their team.


	88. Chapter 88

Erin dreaded calling David to see how he was doing on this latest case, since they had both been less than pleased about the fact that they had been woken early by a call from the Director, informing them that the team was needed out in the field, despite getting back so late the previous evening. Knowing that Agent Jareau would not be pleased to hear her that early in the morning, she had told Director Shepperd to call her, since she had to get Elise ready to head into the office with her, since the daycare facility wouldn't be available when they first arrived. He had sheepishly agreed before ending the call, and she had fixed a dark look on her fiancé as they tumbled out of bed and got dressed before he made breakfast and she dressed Elise.

There hadn't been time for a long goodbye, and she had hurriedly pressed a quick kiss to his cheek as she dropped him off at the doctor's house, knowing that someone would give him a ride into the office when they were done interviewing him and his son. The ride into the office seemed interminably long, as Elise was still cranky over the change in her routine, and all Erin wanted to do was stretch out on the sofa in her office with her daughter and sleep for another two hours. Which is what she had almost done, had it not been for the fact that Helen had also been there already, and she felt like she couldn't start taking naps yet, not before she informed the Director of her pregnancy, which she knew would not be that morning, since they were all hitting the ground running.

And now, she was tired, hungry, and desperately wishing that she could talk to David without interrupting their day. Letting out a deep sigh that turned into a yawn, Erin rested her hands on her stomach, drumming her fingers in a delicate tattoo, knowing that the fetus couldn't discern any patterns yet, but still wanting to make a connection there. Her office phone rang, causing her to jump a little before she answered, hating how startled her voice sounded. "H-hello?"

"This is going to sound really, really, odd, Erin, but have you heard from Hotch at all this morning?"

Erin frowned a little at the sharp tone in Penelope's voice, and she rubbed at her temple with her free hand before leaning back in her chair. "I have not, I assumed that he was in the field with the rest of the team. Is that not the case?"

"No, ma'am. Emily is worried, and has me calling his phones every fifteen minutes, but he hasn't answered yet, which is unusual for him. I've never known him to keep his phone on silent before. The others, yeah, I get it, but he's always available to us. I've called him way too late before when I had an urgent question, and he didn't get angry at me, just patiently answered me before ending the call and going back to sleep. Or at least, I'm assuming that he went back to sleep. And I'm rambling, which I do when I'm worried, and…would you try calling him? He might answer you, since you are his boss, and the mother of one of his children."

Erin chose not to comment on that last part, knowing that Penelope did have a point about her ability to perhaps reach him when the others couldn't. "All right, Penelope, I'll try calling him, and if I can't reach Aaron, I'll text you and you can go from there. Does that sound good?"

"It does. All right, I should go back to the team and work on this case. We're all running on fumes, so I'm trying to do my best."

"That's all I ask of you, Penelope." After she'd hung up, Erin pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through her contact list, touching Aaron's name before bringing the device to her ear. It rang until it went to voicemail, and she frowned a little at that before she hung up and tried the landline at his apartment. Again, it rang until the machine picked up, and Erin felt her frown deepen as she ended the call. Leaning back, Erin once more rubbed her stomach, that weird feeling of impending doom starting to fill her senses once more.

Knowing that it was a last resort, she scrolled through to Haley's name and touched it, bringing the phone to her ear and waiting for her to pick up. "Erin? Hey! How are you?"

It was easy to smile at the warmth in the woman's voice, and she suddenly was grateful that they had developed a friendship over the years. "I'm doing well. And I might as well let this cat out of the bag while I have you on the phone. David and I are having another child."

"Congratulations! When are you due?"

"In January, but since Elise came early, we could have a Christmas baby on our hands."

"That would be lovely! Though it's hard to have a birthday near a holiday." Erin made a soft sound of agreement. "Now, I have the feeling that you didn't just call so early for a pleasant chat, since I know that you're at work. What can I do for you?"

She drew in a deep breath as she thought about how to word her question. "I'm not certain how closely you keep in touch with Aaron, but the team just returned from a case in Canada last night, rather late. And then, unfortunately, the Director summoned them out on another case almost at the crack of dawn. Only, Aaron hasn't shown up, and no one has been able to contact him. I tried both his cellphone and landline, hoping that he had just slept in or something, but received no answer. Have you heard from him at all?"

There was a brief pause. "No, we don't talk regularly right now, since it's been hard to interact, with the divorce being so close to finalized and all. I miss him, but I do not miss the darkness that he brought home with him after every case. I'll call him, though, too, just on the off chance that he'll pick up for me. Odds are, he left his phone off the charger and turned the ringer off the landline so that he wouldn't be disturbed while he slept and is just passed out from exhaustion. If I get an answer, I'll call you back, otherwise, I'll just send a quick text, letting you know I had no luck. And congratulations again on your baby! I'm so happy for you. I never wanted Jack to be an only child, well, you know what I mean. Eventually, he'll know that he's Elise's brother, but he'll still have grown up an only child."

"I understand completely. And thank you for reaching out to him, even though it will be painful for you." She cleared her throat. "And I know Elise can't wait to see Jack on Saturday."

"That's all he's been talking about, too. Jessica and I will be by around noon with food, and we'll see where the kids want to go from there."

"Sounds like a plan. Have a good day," she murmured before ending the call and leaning back in her chair, wondering just what was up with Aaron.


	89. Chapter 89

Erin had just settled behind her desk after the department meeting that had lasted entirely too long, in her opinion, when her cellphone rang. Recognising David's ringtone, she answered and hurriedly brought the device to her ear. "Have you finally heard from Aaron?" she asked a bit breathlessly, biting her lip as she waited for her fiancé to answer.

"It's like you have ESP, Erin. Yes, we have found Hotch, and it is not the best news. We've already sent JJ and Derek over to Haley's house to pick up her and Jack, as they'll be heading directly into protective custody following their meeting with him this afternoon."

"David?"

"He was stabbed, multiple times, by Foyet. There's a gunshot hole in the wall of his apartment, which tells us that this is just the Reaper's way of taunting Hotch before carrying out his endgame, whatever that might be. But that fact that he tore out Haley's contact information from Hotch's address book tells me that nothing good will come out of this."

"Hence why you are putting Haley and Jack into protective custody."

"Exactly. I knew that you would understand, Erin. But…he's asked to see you and Elise. I don't know what for, just that he'd like you to be here at the same time as Haley and Jack. I know that it's a lot to ask of you, but could you please meet us here at the hospital?"

She drew in a sharp breath through her nose as she tried to swallow back the thick taste of bile that had started to creep into her mouth. "Yes, I will. Text me the address, and I'll see you soon." Before he could reply, Erin hung up, needing to get her hands around a glass of water, desperately wishing that it could be a glass of whiskey or wine. "Oh, little one, it looks like Mama is going to be under just as much stress while she's pregnant with you as she was when she was pregnant with Elise. But she wants you to stay, all the same."

Getting to her feet, she picked up her glass of water and drained it before grabbing her purse, leaving the rest of her work behind, knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on it at home anyway. Not when she would be worried about Haley and Jack and everything that was happening. Helen looked up from her computer to give her a look of concern when she saw the purse in her hands. "Is everything all right, Erin?"

"No, and I will not be in the office for the rest of the day. I'm certain that Director Shepperd is already aware of the incident, but you'll find out soon enough what's happening. I'm sorry, I need to go and get Elise before heading to the hospital."

Helen's eyes widened as she nodded. "All right, I'll direct any and all calls to your voicemail, and collect any paperwork that you might need to go over tomorrow. I hope that everything turns out all right."

"So do I, Helen." She gave her assistant a tiny smile before heading out the door and going down to the daycare facility, checking out Elise with little fuss. "All right, sweetheart, we're going on a little adventure, okay? But I need you to be really good for Mama, and hold tightly to her hand," she said as she brought them over to the elevators.

"All right, Mama," Elise said as they completed their journey to the car, and then Erin was fastening her in her car seat before getting behind the wheel and heading out to the address David had sent her. "What are we going to do?"

"We're actually going to the hospital. Uncle Aaron was injured by an unsub, and he's asked to see us and Jack. Now, he might look a little different from how he normally looks, but Papa has assured me that he's going to be all right." That was a small lie, but she assumed from the fact that David had said Aaron had asked to see them before Jack and Haley were whisked away, that he was alert and talking to them. "So, we're going to be kind to Uncle Aaron and give him gentle hugs and kisses, okay?"

"Okay. But I have to ask first if he wants hugs and kisses, right?"

"Right, Leelee." Erin smiled a little as she turned onto the main road they'd be taking, chatting away with Elise as she drove, needing the distraction to keep her mind off the worry. Finally, she pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and she found a spot close to the entrance, taking hold of Elise's hand firmly once more, leading her into the building. Thankfully, David was in the lobby to greet them, and she gave him a wan smile as Elise tugged her hand free and ran up to him, giggling a little when he lifted her up into his arms and cuddled her close. "Are they here yet?"

"No, Haley is still packing some of their things, and then they have to pick up Jack from Jessica's place. This is a nightmare, Erin."

"I know. How did Foyet get into Aaron's apartment?"

"Probably sweet talked his way in using Derek's ID. He left that at the apartment, which is how we know that this is just the next phase in his attempts to terrorise and control Aaron." He glanced over at Erin before looking up at Elise, and she gave him a small nod, understanding that there were things they would talk about later. "Now, Uncle Aaron has a lot of tubes and machines connected to him, and he might look a little scary, but he's going to be all right, I promise."

"Mama said the same thing, Papa." Erin smiled, watching their daughter snuggle in close to David as they rode the elevator up. She tried to ignore the heavy pit that weighed heavily in her stomach at the look that Emily gave her, as if she didn't belong there, instead lifting her chin a little and giving the woman a cool look before sailing into Aaron's room, trying not to gasp at the sight of him.

"Here, I'll leave you three alone while I talk to Emily. I'll be back in ten minutes or so." David gently settled Elise onto Aaron's bed before giving Erin's shoulder a soft squeeze on the way out, closing the door behind him.

"Uncle Aaron, may I hug and kiss you?" Elise lisped out once the door was closed, and Erin held her breath as she anticipated his reaction.

"Of course you can, princess, you just have to be really careful about the machines I'm hooked up to, all right?" Elise nodded and Erin watched as her daughter delicately moved onto his chest, resting her head on his shoulder after kissing his cheek softly. Within moments, she was asleep, and Erin wondered if she had missed naptime that afternoon. "I'm worried, Erin."

"I am, too. If Haley and Jack are going into protective custody, do I have cause to be afraid? Does Foyet know about the fact that you're Elise's father?"

A guilty look crossed his face, telling Erin all she needed to know, and she heavily sat on the foot of his bed, her hand covering her stomach protectively. "I had a picture of Elise and Jack in my wallet. I didn't want to say anything to the others, since only the four of us know Elise's true parentage, but I'm also hoping that Foyet sees it as an innocuous photograph. And I know, you're pregnant, so your concern is split between Elise and that baby, and I feel the same way. You have Dave, you are more than adequate with your service weapon, but you're vulnerable, too."

She nodded, allowing tears to tack down her cheeks silently as she hugged herself. "I still have three weeks before I announce this pregnancy, since we're still in that risk window. Aaron…"

"I know, Erin." He met her eyes steadily, anger and sorrow mixed together in his expression. "But I swear to you, on my life, we will catch Foyet and bring him to justice before he hurts any member of my family." She nodded and took a shaky breath, trying to take his words to heart, even as she knew that from here on out, things would never be the same.


	90. Chapter 90

There were not enough words in the thesaurus to describe just how furious Erin was with both David and Aaron when she heard the news about what had happened in Kentucky. She knew that Aaron was struggling with getting back to work after what Foyet had done to him, and how he had separated him from his family, but she knew that this suicidal streak was not the way to handle the current situation. _I'll be waiting for you both in Aaron's office when you return to the office. Jessica has agreed to pick up Elise and will get the children's supper ready. We all need to talk_

After sending that text to her fiancé and Aaron, she turned off her computer and packed her bag up before stalking out of her office and heading into the bullpen, ignoring the looks she was receiving from Agent Anderson and CTU Sharpe. She knew that more gossip would spread about her being an Ice Queen, but that couldn't be helped. She had to read both the men in her life the riot act before they did something foolish that would lead to her having to explain to Elise and Jack that their lives had changed irrevocably. Shaking her head a little, Erin unlocked Aaron's office and slipped inside, heading over to the sofa and dropping her bag on the floor as she curled up in the corner closest to the lamp, turning it on and pulling her book out of her bag. Since she would be waiting for the men, she thought that she might as well fill her time well.

The sound of a new key in the lock caught her attention, and she replaced her bookmark as she schooled her features into what she hoped passed for her usual cool mask, even as her heart started to pound in her chest. The door slowly opened, and she listened to the tail end of Aaron and David's conversation as they entered. "…she'd be angry. She's pregnant. Do you not remember how often…" David's voice trailed off when he took a look at her on the sofa, and she raised an eyebrow before pointing at the chairs. Both of them gave her a sheepish look as they turned the chairs around and faced her, and she raised her chin imperiously as she gazed at them.

"My daughter very nearly lost her biological father today."

"Erin…"

"Do not Erin me, Aaron Hotchner. I know that you are in a vulnerable place right now, with Haley and Jack in WitSec, you still recovering from Foyet's attack, and the knowledge that he is out there, hunting us, and there's nothing we can do about it until he makes a mistake. But you cannot allow that to influence your actions and reactions. Elise, while she might only know you as Uncle Aaron right now, needs her father in her life. Jack needs his father. And you rushing in where angels fear to tread? Does not do them any good. Pull your head out of your ass."

" _Stellina_ …"

She turned her head to glare at her fiancé, cutting him off with a sharp motion of her hand. "And you, David, need to watch out for your best friend better. He has the power to pull you into situations that you might have trouble getting out of unscathed." Taking a deep breath, she looked between the two of them, her hands fluttering down to her stomach and settling there lightly. "Yes, I am pregnant. Yes, that makes me more emotional. But my anger is completely justified, and I would be this furious with you both, even if I wasn't currently pregnant."

David gave her a sheepish nod while Aaron just stared at a spot over her shoulder, and she knew that she hadn't gotten through to him like she had wanted to. Glancing at her watch, she saw that Elise would still be awake. Letting out a long breath, she stuffed her book back in her bag and rose to her feet. "Our daughter will still be awake if we head home now. You are welcome to stop by and perhaps read her a bedtime story, Aaron."

His shoulders sagged when she said that, and Erin had to fight back the urge to cry, knowing that it was a hormone surge causing her to react that way. "I would love that, Erin. Thank you." She nodded as she held her hand out expectantly. David nodded and got to his feet, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it softly as they made their way out of Aaron's office and out to the elevators. She let out a soft sigh as she relaxed against his chest, finding herself exhausted all of a sudden.

"Have you eaten supper?"

She shook her head, trying not to react poorly at his question, knowing that he had her best interests at heart. "I was reading, and didn't realise that it had gotten so late."

"We'll pick up food on the way home, then. It won't be healthy, but at least it will be something in your stomach." He looked over at Aaron. "I'll text Karen and let her know that you're on your way, since you'll probably get to the house before we will."

"Thanks. And Erin?"

"Yes?" she asked as she turned to look at him.

"Thank you. I know that I shouldn't have gone in there like that, but…" She nodded, wishing that they were in a more private area so that she could take hold of his hand as well. Instead, she gave him a tiny smile before stepping into the elevator after David.

"You felt like you had no choice. I get it. I've been in that position before and as you both know, it cost me a dear friend, since I did not choose reckless abandon. There is a time and a place for every sort of reaction, we just need to learn how to discern when and where that should be." He nodded and Erin tried to fight back the yawn that slipped between her lips, failing miserably as David pulled her closer to his chest, encouraging her to rest against him. "I think that I'm going to have to talk to the Director sooner than I would like about this pregnancy, darling. I don't know if it's the stress of the last few weeks, or just that I'm a few years older for this pregnancy, but I am just so tired."

David nodded as he rubbed her back softly. "I was wondering if that was why you were letting me be so tactile with you in the office, _stellina_. I'd tell you not to worry, but you know us all too well for that. Though I can promise to try and be better about causing you to worry. But we're in the second trimester now, so there's less worry."

"Less, but it's still risky, Dave."

She was surprised that Aaron spoke up so quickly to defend her, and she gave him a grateful smile as she nodded. "Exactly. And I know that your team is still searching for Foyet, despite being told not to do so, which I understand. I just have to ask you to be careful. I have my heart in my throat most days as a result of everything. Just, please, take care."

"We will." And before she could say anything more, Aaron had reached out and squeezed her shoulder tenderly, his earlier ire gone as he smiled gently at her. While she knew that his words were only good for that moment in time, since he would be just as headstrong during the next case, they were a balm to her frazzled heart in that moment, and she held that feeling tightly in her heart as they headed out to their cars to head home.


	91. Chapter 91

"It is so weird to be home, _stellina_." David sounded tired and frustrated, and she wondered if something else was bothering him about being there, besides the case. Another frustrated sigh slipped out of his mouth, and she unconsciously rubbed her baby bump as she waited on him to speak once more. "Being here brings up a lot of bad memories. Can I be honest with you?"

"I would expect nothing less, David."

He let out a self-deprecating chuckle, and Erin pictured him settling onto the bed to be more comfortable as he talked to her. "I know, I just feel like there are certain parts of our pasts that we don't talk about, it's just understood that there are specters that haunt us both. Yours is Alex, mine is Emma. I don't like talking about her much, since that was from a time when I was definitely on the wrong path, headed towards a less glamorous destiny than the one I stumbled into."

"Will you run into her in the course of your case?"

There was a short pause, and Erin wondered what he was thinking about as he took his time to answer her. "No, she died a few years ago, but that doesn't mean old memories aren't dredged up for me."

She nodded as she drew soft patterns on her stomach, feeling the baby flutter around a bit. Since this was her fifth baby, she could detect the first faint stirrings of their life inside her, and she was heartened by the feel. "I completely understand that, David. There are times when I'm reminded of Alex, and I feel like I'm just treading water. I, I still love her, David."

"You probably always will, Erin. Just like I'll always love Emma, and Carolyn, and Hayden. But you're my right now love, and you and the kids are my world."

"David, you can't say things that make me cry and not be here for me to hold. You're my last love. If anything ever happens to you, I don't think that I could find someone who makes me feel as seen as you do. And I know, I'm emotional because of the pregnancy hormones, but, I love you."

"I love you, too, Erin." She heard a voice in the background, and realized that he wasn't alone. "I have to go now, I'm sorry. Ray has information for the case. I won't be able to call back, so until tomorrow, sleep well."

"And you stay safe out there. Elise and Jack's birthday is coming up soon, and I need you around to bring Aaron over for the party, since he'll try to act stoic and like he doesn't need anyone around to support him. We both know the opposite is true."

"That we do, Erin. I know, Ray, but my pregnant fiancée comes first!" She sighed out a laugh, knowing that they truly did need to get off the phone, even though she wanted to keep him on the line. "I will call you as soon as I can tomorrow. Tell Elise that I love her."

"I will, darling. Goodbye." They hung up at the same time, and she pressed her phone tight to her chest as she let out a long sigh, missing his voice already. If Elise wasn't asleep already, she probably would have gone in and brought her daughter into their bedroom for the night. But she wouldn't disturb Elise just for her own comfort. Setting the phone on the bedside table, Erin lifted her top to stare at her baby bump, still trying to comprehend how she could look so pregnant already, even if it was her fifth pregnancy. At her last appointment, her doctor had confirmed once more that the due date was sometime in the new year, which was good and terrifying at the same time, since she didn't know what the weather would bring them when she went into labor.

Just as she was getting back into her book, her phone rang again, and she frowned a little at the sound, not anticipating a call so late at night. "Hello?" she asked sharply, trying to pour every inch of her ire into that one word.

"I am so sorry to be calling this late at night, ma'am, but I had to wait until Reid was out of the office to check in with you."

Erin relaxed a little to hear Penelope's voice and she cleared her throat before speaking once more. "What can I do for you this evening?"

"I have a few rather delicate questions to ask, which is why I wanted Reid out of the way before I asked them. I know that Haley is in protective custody, which is good, but are you taking every precaution to ensure your safety, along with Elise's?"

"I am. I haven't noticed any unusual activity around the house, and once I'm at work, I feel protected enough not to worry. I take it that no one else on the team suspects the truth about Elise's paternity?"

"I think that you and Rossi did a pretty good job in convincing everyone that he's the baby daddy, especially since Hotch is content with being Uncle Aaron. There's no way that I can convince you three to tell the team the truth, is there? I'd feel so much better if I could keep track of you and Elise out in the open, in regards to the case."

"No, there's not. They're going to be four in a few weeks, and I feel like that is still young for them to know the full truth." Erin rubbed her stomach in gentle circles as she gazed out the window into the dark of night. "What was the other thing that you wanted to ask me?"

"How are you coping? I know that you have Rossi to rely on, because he's your partner, but I can only imagine the stress you have to be facing, since there's no one that you can tell about what's going on, with Haley gone."

"What do you mean?" she asked sharply.

"I looked at Haley's phone records to make certain that there wasn't someone calling and getting information about her routine, and couldn't help but notice how much you two would text and talk. I think that it's rather lovely that the two of you were able to put everything that was between you behind you for the sake of the kids. I wish that everyone could take a page out of your book."

"It took us a few months to become friendly, but she is a lovely woman. Which is why I need you all to find Foyet sooner rather than later, so that she can come home to her family and friends. And before you say anything, I know that she's been calling her mother too much, which will necessitate a move if she's not careful, but I can't blame her for wanting her mother at a time like this. If I had to leave my family behind, knowing that a man like Foyet was searching for me? I'd want to curl up in my mother's lap, too."

She felt bad for the way she had just dumped her feelings on Penelope, especially since they weren't close, not like she was with Haley or Helen. Still, there was a relief that had come after she had spoken so freely, and she pressed her hand down on her stomach firmly to remind herself that she was so emotionally open at the moment. "I wish that I could be of more help to you. But, if I could suggest something that might help you and another person?"

"What's that, Penelope?"

"Reach out to Jessica. If I were her, I'd be just as scared as you are, and she's also missing her sister and nephew."

That was a good idea, and she nodded absently. "I think I might keep that in mind. Now, if you don't mind, I really need to start getting to sleep. Tomorrow is looking to be a long day for me."

"Of course, Erin. And if you need anything at all, let me know. Reid's my bitch for this case, so I can get him to run errands, if need be." Erin tried to hold in her giggle, only for it to come out as a snort, and Penelope laughed in response. "I know, I should be nicer to him, but he's in the doghouse because he lied to Hotch, and we all know that Hotch doesn't handle liars well. Oh, hey, we were just talking about you! Talk to you later, ma'am."

Before Erin could get another word in, Penelope had hung up, and she shook her head a little as she opened up her texts and wrote a quick one to Jessica. _Jessica, this is Erin. A little bird pecked at me to reach out to you, since we're both in the same boat, of sorts. I know it's late, and you won't see this until tomorrow, but I'm here for you, if you need anything. And I think that Elise would really like to see her Auntie Jess soon, too. Hopefully, I'll talk to you soon_

After sending the message off, Erin plugged the phone onto the charger and put it on silent before turning the bedside light on and making herself comfortable before slipping off to sleep, trying not to worry about what was going to happen next.


	92. Chapter 92

"You have to do something about Aaron, _stellina_."

She looked up from her computer, glancing over her shoulder to see that David was standing in her doorway, a concerned look on his face. Frowning, she turned to face him, indicating for him to take a seat in front of her desk. "I take it that this is in regards to what happened last night, and why you didn't come home?"

He gave her a sheepish look as he nodded, scooting the chair closer to her desk as he picked up the picture of their children. "I had to go home with him, to make certain that he was all right. This case was all sorts of fucked up for all of us. After I talk with you, I have to talk to Penelope because she has concerns that she doesn't want to bring to Hotch right now, because even she can see that he is crumbling under the stress of looking for Foyet over his shoulder at every turn. I know that he wants to feel as normal as possible here at work, but it is starting to affect his job performance."

"What do you want me to do, David? Has he stepped far enough out of line where I can place him on desk duty until you hunt that monster down?" Her hand came down to press against her stomach as she stared at him. "You know that I am just as worried about this whole thing as you are, because of Elise."

He nodded as he stroked his goatee, trying to come up with something to say in response. "Have you thought about reading everyone in to the truth about Elise? That way they know to keep an eye out for you, too?"

"Penelope is already doing that, darling. And I don't need them adding another concern on top of what they have for Aaron. As long as I know that you and Penelope have your eyes on me, as well, I think that everything will be all right in the end." His mouth tightened into a thin line, and Erin shrugged at him before looking down at her stomach. "I need to pretend that everything is all right, so that I don't add any stress to this pregnancy. Do I make myself clear?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

She gave him a quick smile before clearing her throat and allowing her shoulders to sag a bit, knowing that he wouldn't comment on the openness she was displaying. "Thank you. Now, as for our Aaron problem, I think that we should consider having him step down as the Unit Chief. You know, as well as I do, that Director Shepperd is watching your team very closely, and if Aaron is starting to become erratic on cases, and if there are other issues, they could split you all up, and attach you to different teams or departments, and I wouldn't have a say on that. Make it seem like the idea is coming from you, because we both know that he would react poorly if he knew that I was telling him to step down."

"Will it be permanent?"

Erin shook her head firmly. "No. He is the best leader that your team has, and to have him as only an SSA would be a detriment to Alpha. And it would be nice to have you in charge for a few months, too, since I know that I can chastise you at home, if need be."

He chuckled as he shook his head. "For that very reason, even if Hotch agrees with me, I won't be named temporary Unit Chief. The Director would never allow that to happen, since that would be an egregious breach of the fraternization rules. I mean, our relationship is already a bit suspect."

"But no one comments on it because we don't engage in excessive public displays of affection. The only time I allow you to kiss me is when we're alone in this office."

His smile turned a little lecherous, and Erin groaned a little as she realized the door she had just opened wide for him to enter. "Well, we're alone now, and I don't foresee Helen coming in to check on you this early in the morning. I might just need a kiss for courage and a kiss for luck, since I'll have two rather difficult conversations to engage in once I get back to the bullpen."

"You are just lucky that I missed you last night, and am feeling a little vulnerable right now, what with the hormones coursing through my system." He chuckled as he nodded, getting to his feet and coming around to her side of the desk, sinking down onto it before tugging her closer to him by the arms of her chair. "Seriously, if you're going to stay away again, please, at least call and let me know where you are. The text was a little short."

"I'll keep that in mind, _stellina_ ," he said lowly as he leaned in kissed her softly. "That one was to say I'm sorry for worrying you last night." Another soft kiss. "That one was for courage in my conversation with Penelope." A third soft kiss, but this time, he allowed his lips to linger against hers as he spoke. "And that one was for luck in my conversation with Hotch. I'll stop by for lunch?"

"That sounds lovely, David. Now go, have your talks, and if they go well, I'll allow you to steal a few kisses in the parking lot of the restaurant we go to for our lunch."

"I'm taking you out now?" he teased, and she nodded before pecking his lips lightly and pushing away from him to turn back to her computer.

"We are going to that delicious French bistro for lunch, and I am going to have a delicious croque monsieur, and dream about when I can have red wine again." Another little laugh burst out of his lips as he pushed aside her hair and pressed a languid kiss to the side of her neck, his tongue tickling what he knew was one of her sensitive spots, before he headed for the door to her office. "Join me back here at quarter to twelve, so that we have a little of a head start on the lunch crowd. I'll make reservations for quarter past, since that should give us enough time to get there," she called out as she heard the door open.

"Yes, Erin," he replied, a smile still in his voice. "I'll be back shortly."

Erin allowed him to have the last word that time, and she let out a small sigh as she turned her concentration back onto the work that she was currently doing, knowing that when she was done with that task, she could work on planning Elise's birthday party a little more fully. There were quite a few small details that she had to work out, and she relished the idea of all of Elise's friends from preschool having pony rides at the stable where they boarded her pony. She knew that it was a bit over the top, but she had made the reservations before she knew that Jack and Haley would be in protective custody, and there had been no good way to tell Elise that their plans had changed. Still, she thought that Aaron and Jessica would enjoy the time spent with Elise and helping her and David wrangle children, and she found herself thinking ahead to next year, when Haley and Jack were with them again, and they could have a joint birthday party to celebrate being together once more.


	93. Chapter 93

"You didn't have to come with me today. I know that you have paperwork and editing to do on the new introduction to your book."

"And that can wait, Erin. I missed so many of these appointments when you were pregnant with Elise, that I want to get to as many of these checkups as I can with this little one. I know, I missed the last one, so do you think that we could find out the sex of our baby?"

Erin tried to hide her smile behind her hand, since she had found that out last time, and gave him a small nod. "I kept it to myself, since you mentioned that you wanted to come to this appointment if you were home. Even though I don't need you to be here."

He chuckled as he nodded, helping her to her feet. At almost six months pregnant, she was starting to feel ungainly and awkward, so the help was much appreciated. "I will always be there for you, _stellina_ , because you're carrying around my heart in your heart." She sighed and tipped her cheek upwards for him to kiss. David obliged her with a quick peck as he helped her into her trench coat.

"Time for your next scan already?" Helen asked as they left her office, and she nodded as she smiled at her assistant. "This pregnancy has truly flown by so quickly!"

"I think that's because it's an easier pregnancy. I was expecting this to be a lot like Leelee's pregnancy, but this is more like when I was pregnant with Karen. Which is exactly what I need at this point in my life, since I'm firmly middle aged." Looking up at David, Erin let out a little sigh before looking at Helen once more. "I don't think that we're coming back to the office today, so forward any important calls to my cellphone."

"Of course, Erin. I hope that everything goes well for you!"

She nodded and allowed David to guide her out to the elevators, his arm around her waist holding her close as they waited for the car to arrive. "Headed to the doctor?"

Erin looked up to see Aaron standing there, a pained look on his face, as if he was imagining that he and Haley were in that position. "We are. I'm sorry to steal David away from you for the rest of the afternoon, but he insisted on going to this scan. I'm twenty three weeks along already, which doesn't seem possible."

"You look like you're having twins, honestly." His face turned a bit red with embarrassment, and Erin swallowed her laugh as she reached out and patted his shoulder.

"I've asked my ob a dozen times if that was what was going on, but she assures me that this is just one baby who has decided that they need this extra room to grow. Though that isn't impacting their growth. This baby is actually measuring a tiny bit small, which is what we're checking on today."

His face took on a concerned cast as he stepped a little closer to their side. "Do you need anything?"

"We'll be fine, or at least that's what I'm praying for. Though you're welcome to come over for supper tonight. It will be the whole family, since Alan is away on a business trip for the next two weeks, but I know that they wouldn't mind seeing you. And call Jessica, too, we can make it a true family affair."

"I will call her and see if she's free. Six, right?"

"Yes." The elevator doors opened, and Erin stepped inside, giving Aaron a warm smile as David pressed the button for the ground floor. "It's lasagna night, so whether it's both of you, or just yourself, there will be enough. Have a good afternoon."

Once the doors were closed, Erin sagged against David a little, rubbing her stomach absently. "You're more worried about the growth lag than you're letting on, aren't you?"

"That obvious?" He nodded. "All right, yes. I just haven't said anything to you about it because I want the focus to be on Aaron and finding Foyet. I'm self-reliant…"

"Hotch would argue the same damn thing about himself," David interrupted, and she smacked his chest lightly. "I'm just saying!"

"I know, but I just want to keep the course steady, and focusing my worry on someone outside myself helps with that. I need things to stay that way, until they're here. Okay?"

He nodded before tightening his arm around her waist and tugging her closer to his chest. "I will try very hard to remember that, Erin." She nodded as a soft silence fell over them and she contented herself with holding tightly to his hand as they went over to his car. On the drive to the doctor's office, she turned up the radio, letting the music wash over her as she absently rubbed her bump. "All right, we're here."

She looked up with a start to see that they had indeed arrived, and she shook her head a little as she climbed out of the car and waited for him to join her. Soon enough, he was taking hold of her hand and they were walking into the office together. Surprisingly, Erin was ushered right back to a room, but after glancing at her watch, she saw that there was only two minutes until her appointment was scheduled to begin. "You drove slow today, David."

"I have precious cargo to take care of, Erin," he replied, giving her a small wink. Rolling her eyes, Erin shoved her purse into his arms as she started to strip off her clothes before getting into the front closing gown, tying it closed before awkwardly sitting on the exam table to wait for Doctor Brunner to appear. "I also cannot wait to rub coconut oil into your skin tonight. I know how much you love…"

The door to her exam room opened suddenly, and they sprung away from each other, Erin letting out a startled giggle, feeling foolish at their reaction. "Oh, good, you were able to make it, Dave! Ready to find out what your partner already knows?"

He nodded as the doctor began to examine her, and Erin gave him a little wink as he helped her to recline backwards. Doctor Brunner spread apart the gown over her baby bump to place the ultrasound gel there. "I will never grow accustomed to how cold that feels to me," she murmured as the ultrasound machine was wheeled closer to them.

"Here we go," Doctor Brunner said cheerily as she turned the machine on and ran the wand over Erin's stomach. The quiet woosh filled the room, and David's hand tightened around hers as they watched the monitor. "It looks like your baby is still tracking about three or four days behind where she should be, but that's not something that we have to be worried about necessarily. We could have estimated the date of conception wrong."

"I'm sorry, she?" David asked, a look of wonder on his face as he gazed at the image of their baby on the monitor. "We're having another little girl?"

"We are. I hope that you're not disappointed."

He tore his eyes away from their baby to look at her, tears sparkling in his eyes. "How could I be disappointed with my daughter? She'll be the fourth little reflection of you, so that I can see my beloved reflected in the faces of her children." Reaching up, he caressed her cheek lightly before focusing on the monitor once more. "Is everything else looking good there, Doctor Brunner?"

"Everything else looks perfect. But now comes your least favorite part."

She nodded and took a deep breath as she fumbled for David's hand. "I'll be closing my eyes again. I trust you to make certain that everything goes well with the amnio." Doctor Brunner nodded as she patted Erin's knee, getting everything ready for the procedure. "I know, it has to be ridiculous, David. I can shoot a target, I can shoot a duck for Mudgie to retrieve, but I can't watch the doctor stick a needle into my stomach."

"You can't help what unnerves you, and you have me to hold your hand while it happens. Oh, our little bambina will be here in seventeen short weeks, and I cannot wait to meet her. Though I'm selfishly hoping that she has blonde hair like you." He leaned in and kissed her forehead softly as they waited for the doctor to return, and she found herself grateful to have her fiancé by her side in that moment, as it was that much easier for her to go through the amnio with him there. She still sent up a quick prayer that everything would be all right with their daughter, hoping that the test results would come back as normal.


	94. Chapter 94

"I hear that you're having another girl."

Aaron's voice was soft, and when Erin looked up from her work, she could see that he was close to tears. That was unusual, and she couldn't stop herself from frowning as she gestured for him to take a seat in front of her desk, and he gave a small nod as he closed the door and came over to her side. "I take it that this case got to you, too?"

He gave her a jerky nod as he folded his hands over his stomach protectively, looking down into her lap. "Pregnancy should be a happy time. It was with Jack, and it should have been with Elise. But I have the feeling that my actions caused you a lot of stress, which led to you going into early labor with our daughter. I'm sorry."

Her own tears started to roll down her face. "If you say anything to anyone about my crying in front of you, I will blame it on the hormones from this pregnancy. Am I clear?" He nodded. "Good. But thank you for apologizing. I'm sorry, too, for keeping the truth from you for so long, even though we all knew that you knew the truth. I was just desperate to protect myself and Elise that I thought lying would be my best course of action."

"I pushed you to that decision, I can see that now, four years down the road. We were so antagonistic towards each other, and you had every reason to behave that way towards me, especially after our second encounter."

"We both made decisions that were not the best. But we also have a beautiful daughter as a result of our mistake, and since that series of choices led to me finding love with David, and giving him a child, well, I think that there is some merit to the belief that all things work out for good. And I know that they haven't worked out for good for you yet, but I have faith that you will find Foyet, bring him to justice, and then we can see about lightening your work load so that you can try and make things up with Haley. She still loves you, and that love should have a place to go."

He nodded a little, and Erin smiled gently before gasping. "What is it?"

"She's moving. Do you want to feel? You didn't have that opportunity with Elise, and while this isn't your baby…" He hurriedly got to his feet and was at her side in moments, reaching out his hand. Erin took hold of it and pressed it firmly to her baby bump, where this new life was kicking for all she was worth, announcing her presence in their lives. "Elise wasn't quite so active while I was carrying her. I certainly hope this doesn't mean that when she comes, I'll be running around after her on top of all the work I do here."

Aaron laughed heartily as he nodded, settling down against her desk so that he could look clearly at her, the smile on his lips a welcome sight after seeing him so dour and downbeat because of Haley and Jack being away. "At least you have your older children to help with taking care of the littles."

"True, but I don't like to depend on them. They have their own lives to live. Oh, and Elise wants to know when Uncle Aaron is coming over again, because she misses him and her Auntie Jessica. She doesn't really get that Jack and Haley are away, and I keep trying to explain that they're on a trip, but she doesn't understand why she can't talk to him when…"

"She's calling you, too?"

Erin nodded sheepishly as leaned back in her chair. "I tried to tell her that it wasn't a smart idea to call, but she insisted that if she could call her mother, and Jess, that it would be fine to check in with me, too."

"So that's why she was moved, again."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Erin. She's been told numerous times that she needs to not contact anyone until after we find Foyet." He let out a long-suffering sigh before holding his hand out. Hesitantly, Erin clasped it, welcoming his touch. "And since I have something to discuss with you, anyway, given how this case turned out, maybe I could stop over for supper tonight?"

"I think that we would love that, Hotch." Erin looked over Aaron's shoulder to see her fiancé standing in the doorway. "I was just coming to see if you were ready to head home, Erin. Someone thinks that it's time for us to go home."

She frowned a little, only for Elise to come running into the room. "Uncle Aaron!" she yelled loudly, pushing past David to get to their sides. "Pick me up!"

He chuckled as he did so, hugging his daughter tightly to his chest as he gave Erin a soft smile. "How are you doing, princess?"

"Good. I miss Jack, though. Is he and Aunt Haley going to be home from their trip soon?"

"I hope so. But until they come home, we have to keep them in our hearts." Elise nodded as she pressed a sloppy kiss against his cheek. Erin winced at that, hoping that Aaron wasn't bothered by the childish display of affection. From the look on his face, though, she needn't have worried, and it became easy to allow her features to relax into a soft smile as she awkwardly got up from her chair. "All right, it looks like Mom and Dad are ready to go home."

"Papa, Uncle Aaron. He's my papa." They allow laughed a little at her fierce declaration and as Erin packed up her bag, she listened to Aaron and Elise talk to each other. David came over to her side, taking the bag from hands and slinging it over his shoulder before threading their fingers together. "Can I ride home with you, Uncle Aaron?"

"I don't have a car seat, princess, but I promise you that I will be over as soon as possible. Okay?" Elise nodded before kissing his cheek once more and wriggling out of his arms so that she could come over to their sides, taking hold of Erin's free hand as they made their way out to the elevators, Aaron bringing up the rear. For a short moment, Erin felt like they were a family, all of them, and she wondered if that would be a feeling that she could hold onto in the future. She had meant what she said, she hoped that he and Haley would be able to work things out, and she would do her best to see that they could bring that about. Even if it meant that David had to pick up a little extra work, since they could do it together.

"Have a good evening!" She looked up to see Penelope giving them a cheery wave, and she nodded in return before stepping into the elevator. There was something a little freeing about not caring who saw them leave together, especially when Aaron was worried about his family. Everyone knew that he and David were best friends, so it made sense that he would be familiar with her, as well.

"Well, Hotch, I must say that I am a little hurt that you didn't choose me to take over for you," David said as the elevator travelled downwards, and she looked over at Aaron in surprise.

"Is this what you wanted to discuss with me?" she asked as she stroked Elise's hair.

He nodded before shrugging a little. "I can't do this job effectively when I'm so worried about Haley. Dave brought up the fact that I could step down temporarily, until we had dealt with this case and put Foyet where he belongs. And I chose Morgan because he needs the responsibility. You, I can trust to take over for me in the future if anything happens to me. Morgan? He's hotheaded but malleable, and needs something that will mold him into the leader he can be. Plus, it will be nice to have a few weeks where I don't hear him call Garcia all those pet names. I know, it's their thing, and it helps them blow off steam, but it gets to be a bit much." Erin giggled a little as she nodded. "I do have one condition for agreeing with this plan of yours, Erin."

"I didn't…"

"You did, I know you and Dave too well for you to deny it. I just happen to agree with you in this case. And my condition is that I want to spend more time with Elise."

Erin felt her heart clench a little as she nodded, knowing that this was his way of telling them both that he was lonelier than he thought he would be, but couldn't come right out and say it. "That would be fine, as long as you let us know when you want to come over. Plus, it will be nice to have someone around to help with Elise when I get to be too tired." She smiled gently at Aaron as she lifted her hand from Elise's head to touch his wrist gently, letting him know that everything between them was good, even as she hoped that they would find Foyet soon, so that Aaron could shrug off his misery and worry.


	95. Chapter 95

"You really let him feel our baby move?"

Erin cocked her head to one side in confusion as she climbed into bed, finding her growing girth making her even more ungainly at times like this. "Yes. Aaron didn't have that opportunity when I was pregnant with Elise, so I thought that it might be nice for him to experience what it would have felt like when Elise was growing in me. He's so lonely, David."

Her fiancé climbed in beside her after turning off the overhead light, and let out a long breath as he turned onto his side to rest his left hand on her bump as he looked into her eyes. "I know, _stellina_. I'm just surprised that you wanted to let him touch you so intimately. Things have been better between the two of you lately but I know that you're still a bit reticent to allow him close to you."

"I know, but we have to reach a place where we're okay with each other. Because when we finally tell Elise that Uncle Aaron is really her father, it will be better if we're kind to each other. It doesn't mean that I'm going to hug him every time I see him, though. That can be your job," she teased, covering his hand with her own as she let out a light sigh.

David chuckled as he nodded, leaning in to kiss her softly. "I'm just glad that the two of you have managed to find a place where things are good. Elise loves him so much."

"Elise is full of love, darling. That's the beautiful thing about our daughter. She is love personified, and I am going to try my best to make certain that she stays that way. Can I tell you something?"

"Anything, Erin."

"I am terrified that Foyet is going to do something to Aaron before you catch him. I know, that's probably a paranoid thought, but we've never encountered someone who is so intent on destroying one person's life before, on top of taking out as many people as he can. And if he knows so much about Aaron, what's to stop him from coming after Elise in an attempt to flush Aaron out? It would make a sick sort of sense, you know, for him to go after the flank that's unprotected. And before you say it, no, I'm not going to tell the others the truth about Elise's parentage. It wouldn't do any good, and it would divide their concentration again, when they need to be thinking about the cases that they need to solve, along with trying to track down Foyet. I've been doing my level best to make certain that I'm not followed when I have to go home on my own, and I've kept my service weapon close to me at all times, but there is still this little niggling doubt in the back of my mind that something beyond bad is going to happen?"

She licked her lips nervously as David reached out to caress her face delicately. "I have that feeling of impending doom, too, Erin. And I think that every single member of the team feels that same thing in the pit of their stomachs. We just don't verbalise it, because if we do, it's as if we are willing it into existence. So as long as we pretend that everything is all right, then everything will be all right. But it's not. Is it, Erin?"

As she shook her head, David leaned in to kiss her once more, and she welcomed the feel of his lips against hers as he gently tugged her closer to his side, fitting his body around hers as he let out a deep breath. "I wish that there was an easy answer for all this, but it seems like those are more and more rare these days." Closing her eyes heavily, Erin kissed David once more, wishing that she wasn't quite so heavily pregnant in that moment, as she desperately wanted to make love with him. "So, I don't feel like turning over, since I am very comfortable right now. Would you mind switching spots for the night so that I can feel you spooned up against my back?"

He nodded before gently pulling her over to the other side of the bed as he slipped out of it and then she listened to his feet pad against the floor before he got back into bed, wrapping his arm around her stomach after pulling the sheets up around their shoulders. "All right, let's talk about something a little happier, so that our dreams might be sweet this evening. We can't constantly dwell on all the bad shit that's going on in the world, otherwise we'll go slowly insane."

She nodded as she covered his hand with hers, pressing it firmly against her stomach, hoping that the baby would kick so that David could feel it. "This is very true, darling. All right, something happy. If I say you, is that cheating?"

Erin giggled as David swept aside her hair and pressed a tickling kiss against her neck. "A little, yes. But you make me happy, too, so I suppose that I can make an exception. Are we going to your parents for Christmas this year?"

"God no, David! They're coming here. There is no way on God's green Earth that I would be on a train or in a car that late into my pregnancy. Can you imagine what would happen if I went into early labor? No, I want to be here, surrounded by my friends and family this Christmas. Your sisters are coming, though, yes?"

"I wish. They called and said that Thanksgiving would work better for them this year, since they have plans to celebrate both Christmas and the New Year in Italy. And since there's no way you'd be allowed to fly at that point in your pregnancy, well, we'll see them in four weeks."

"It's going to be a full house, then," she murmured, stroking his hand with her thumb.

"Actually, I convinced them to stay in the cabin, and since Alan has our eldest kids for Thanksgiving this year, we're going to join them, and the only thing we have to bring is a salad and the drinks. They're going to do everything else there, so that we can have a bit of a relaxing time this holiday season. And I'm still holding out hope that we'll find Foyet in time for Haley and Jack to be home for Christmas, and that we can hold an extended family celebration here. Maybe not on Christmas Day itself, but for Epiphany, perhaps."

"I love that idea. And we can have an explosion of Christmas cheer this one year? I know, you're still growing used to the idea of decorating for Christmas, but I think that a joyful cacophony of cheer would be appropriate for them returning to us, right?"

"As long as we return to the tasteful, elegant, way you decorate our house next year, I will agree to that. But only if they're home in time for Christmas. And we might have to hire decorators, because you are going to be extremely pregnant in the weeks leading up to Epiphany."

"I was thinking that we could have Penelope, Jessica, and Helen help me and the children decorate. I can delegate and they can do the hard work while I lounge on the sofa."

David laughed before kissing her neck once more, his hand sliding upwards until he was cupping her breast, squeezing gently as he swiped his thumb back and forth across her nipple. "All you need is someone to feed you grapes and fan you while you do that, _stellina_."

"Hush. I'm not some pampered Roman empress, David."

"I could make you one, if you wanted."

She let out a low moan of frustration as she ground back against him. "What I want is you to finish what you're trying to start here. But you know what Doctor Brunner said about sex through the end of this pregnancy. I can't even go down on you because that sets off my gag reflex. Let me tell you, I am going to have the shortest fuse when we can finally have sex again."

"And I will be there to help you find that satisfaction, Erin." He kissed her once more before sliding his hand back down to her bump and stroking it softly. "Now, let's try to get some rest. I have the feeling that tomorrow is going to be a long day." She nodded as she wriggled a little against him, trying to get comfortable once more as she thought about the most benign things in the world in an effort to forget about being so keyed up. "I love you, Erin."

"I love you, too," she softly replied as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift off to sleep, safe and warm in her beloved's arms.


	96. Chapter 96

"I don't think that I have enough words in my vocabulary to explain how infuriated I am with you right now, Aaron."

He sheepishly looked down into his lap as he gave her a small nod. "I know, I reacted recklessly at the end of this case."

"You did, and you could have left two children without fathers. And how would I have explained that to Elise when she's old enough to understand that adult lives are messy and complicated and beautiful? I just…I am hanging on by a thread here, I need to know that you're not going to take risks like that again. Please." Erin hated how vulnerable she sounded in that moment, because she didn't like being perceived as weak by anyone. Yet that strange bleat of a last word was what caught Aaron's attention, as his head shot up to look at her, pain and loneliness stamped on his features. "Elise has loved seeing her uncle Aaron more, and if you die…"

Her words were abruptly cut off by her tears that clogged her throat, and she looked away from him as she fished for her handkerchief in her pocket. Vaguely, she heard a chair scrape against the floor, and then Aaron was kneeling on the floor in front of her, holding out his own handkerchief, and she took it from his hand, dabbing at her eyes as she tried to stop her tears. "The hormones are strong today?" he asked, trying to give her an out, and she shook her head as she smacked at his shoulder.

"No! I am furious with you! And terrified. Both of those emotions are enough to make me cry without the added hormones coursing through my system."

To her shock, Aaron got to his feet before giving her a quick, fierce, hug. "Would you believe me if I told you that I was trying to be more like Morgan? He's always charging in headfirst into situations, and I thought that if I took those same chances, I could still be an important part of the team."

Letting out a deep sigh, she grabbed hold of his hand and held on tightly as she stared into his face. "You are the leader of Alpha, no matter what is currently happening. I am fairly certain that everyone still sees you as the leader behind Agent Morgan, and they're looking to you for guidance, even as they're trying to look out for you and make certain that you're going to be all right."

Erin rested her free hand on her bump, feeling the baby kick out against her touch, and she smiled a little at the feeling. "So you do have faith in me," he murmured and she drew in a long breath through her nose as she nodded. "That's good to know."

"There were times when you gave me reason to question that faith, I won't lie. But seeing you now, dealing with Haley's absence and a madman who is trying to drive you mad by hunting you and separating you from your family, I have every faith in you, that you will do your duty to the team and the FBI. I just have to walk a very fine line when acting as the buffer between you and those above my paygrade. While Director Shepperd might be on my side, even he has people over him who grouse and complain when too much negative attention is drawn to your team, since it does reflect negatively on the FBI as a whole. I hate playing politics, but I'm good at it, and if it keeps you together and functioning, I'll do what I have to. Just, please, don't make my job more difficult than it already is right now? This pregnancy has been easier than Elise's was, but I'd rather not have to go on bedrest for the last ten weeks?"

He nodded as he leaned against her desk, giving her a wry smile. "Haley hated being on bedrest with Jack. Jessica had to take a leave of absence from her job at the time, so that she could entertain Haley. But it helped knowing that I had help watching over her, just in case something went wrong. Just like you had Dave to take care of you."

Erin smiled and nodded as she thought back to that time. "David was incredibly patient with me, especially when it became clear that I was not coping well with everything."

"Because I knew what you needed, _stellina_. Are you ready to head home? Karen already called to let me know that she's already fed Elise and is going to give her a bath before reading her a few stories." Erin nodded at her fiancé as she leaned on Aaron's thigh to boost herself to her feet, wobbling a little. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, it's just my center of gravity is changing again, as my bump gets bigger. I'm just having a little trouble adjusting to this. And what's infuriating is that it's affecting how I shoot. At least when I was pregnant with Elise, my shooting skills weren't affected so."

Both Aaron and David laughed, and she had to fight the urge to stamp her foot in frustration, knowing that would just tickle them further. Instead, she hurriedly packed up her bag and thrust it into David's arms before slinging her purse across her body as she fixed a look on them both. "Oh, I recognize that look from Haley, Dave. You might be sleeping in the guest room this evening."

"I'd listen to Aaron, darling. You are on very thin ice at the moment." David winked at her before reaching out for her hand, which she clasped without hesitation. Together, they walked out to the elevators, and as soon as they were alone inside the car, she sagged against him, the adrenaline over confronting Aaron on his rash actions bleeding from her body as the elevator sank down to the ground floor. "I think that you might get on thicker ice if you agree to taking a shower with me. I just need someone to hold me upright, and maybe wash my hair."

"I think that I can do that, Erin," he said as he guided her out to their car, helping her into the passenger seat before climbing behind the wheel and driving them home. As they drove, Erin scrolled through her messages that she had received, smiling a little to see that Jessica had reached out to her, telling her that Haley was doing all right, even if they had been moved to a new safe house. Rolling her eyes a little, Erin sent back a text telling Jessica that she needed to not talk to Haley quite so much, since then Haley could stay in one place until it was time to come home. "Let me guess, Jessica was relaying a message to you from Haley?"

She nodded. "I can't begin to imagine what Haley is going through, but she's going to get Foyet on her trail if she's not careful. I want to judge her, but odds are I might do the same thing, if I was in her position. Because it would be literal hell to be cut off from you and my children and my parents, knowing that there was a madman hellbent on hurting you through whatever means possible." Letting out a small sigh, Erin reached across the car and curled her hand around his arm, wanting to keep ahold of him the entire drive home, to assure herself that he was still there, and that maybe there wasn't so much to worry about. Maybe…


	97. Chapter 97

Erin rubbed her bump absently as she looked over the report that Aaron had just handed over to Helen. It was like he had known that she would be overwhelmingly angry at what had happened in the field, and she was. Agent Jareau had very nearly been fatally injured in the field, and she had already fielded a meeting with the Director, trying to explain that the stress of Foyet was starting to wear on the entire team. It seemed like he almost bought it, but she also knew that this would once more draw unnecessary attention to Alpha at a time when they could least afford it. Letting out a frustrated breath, Erin pushed away from her desk and walked over to her window, looking out at the people walking around outside.

"That's it, I have to get out of here for a little while," she said with a little more force than intended as she stalked over to her coat tree and slipped into her coat, tying the belt as best she could over her bump. This was the same coat David had bought for her when she was carrying Elise, and she was grateful that she could wear it once more. After dropping her phone into a pocket, Erin left her office and stopped in front of Helen's desk.

"Did I miss a meeting or appointment in your calendar, Erin?"

"No, I'm heading up onto the roof and walking around for a little while, since I'm too keyed up here, and I know that it's not good for the little one to have me be this stressed. I'm taking my cellphone, so if anything urgent comes up in the next thirty minutes, call me, and I'll head back down."

"Of course, Erin. But be careful up there. I'd hate for you to have an accident, as it would take a lot longer to get to you."

She gave her assistant a small smile before nodding. "I know. And I will." Nodding a little to Helen, she went out to the elevators and pressed the up button, hoping that no one would question why she was going up instead of down.

That was a fool's wish, though, as she watched Penelope come down the hall in her direction, and she drew in a deep breath as she willed the elevator to come all the quicker. "Oh, Chief Strauss! Are you headed out for the afternoon?"

"No, I'm just taking a short walking break to clear my head before I finish the workday."

Penelope looked like she was going to say something more when the doors slid open, and Erin stepped inside, pressing the button for the top floor before stepping to the back of the car in case there were others travelling upwards as well. Thankfully, she was alone until she reached the top floor, and she gave a tight nod to the people waiting for the elevator as she brushed past them and walked over to the stairwell, carefully climbing the two sets of steps until she reached the fire door, thankful to find it closed. She knew that smokers still used the roof to take their breaks, so as not to go through security again, so she was grateful to know that she was going to be alone.

Opening the door, she kicked the brick into place to prop the door open before heading into the middle of the roof and looking up into the blue sky, shivering a little as the cool wind whipped across the skin of her face. There was something so calming about that moment, and she closed her eyes as she breathed in the fresh air, wishing that there was a chair to sit on, because she would spend longer than twenty minutes outside.

"Kitten mentioned that she thought it was odd you were heading up instead of down on the elevator, so I came up to investigate."

Erin turned to look at her fiancé, giving him a tired smile as she beckoned him over to her side. "I wanted to get closer to the edge, but given my balance issues with the pregnancy, I decided that that was a bad idea. I just needed to get out of the office for a little bit, and this was the fastest way to do that. Care to join me in doing absolutely nothing for about fifteen minutes?"

"I would absolutely love to do just that, Erin." He stepped over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her back against his stomach. It was so easy to recline against him, listening to his calming breaths as they stared out at the sky. "Is this because of JJ?"

"You know me far too well. Though I suppose that's part of why I love you so much. And yes, I had to have a meeting with the Director this morning, which lasted far too long, and while I mollified him for the moment, I know that there's going to be more scrutiny on your team. Though you can tell Agent Morgan that I appreciate his delegating skills so that he doesn't have to interact with me quite so often."

"I can have a talk with him about insubordination."

Erin laughed as she turned in his arms, a sad smile curving across her lips as her baby bump pushed them away from each other. "I don't think that it would do any good, do you? I've heard about the way he talks to Aaron, and that's something that needs to be handled at the team level. I don't need another reason for the team to dislike me."

He nodded as he reached out and caressed her face. "If Penelope has her way, that won't be the case." She frowned as she looked up into his eyes. "She hasn't been outright defending you, but there are times when the others say something a little rude in regards to you, and before I can jump in and defend you, she's shutting it down with a look that I would swear she picked up from you, except she hasn't spent enough time with you to see that look in action."

Her smile turned warmer as she nodded in response. "That's sweet of her, though I have to imagine that the others don't take too kindly to said look."

He shrugged. "Eh, it stops them from commenting in the moment." Another bark of a laugh escaped her lips as she turned back around, waiting for him to take the hint and embrace her once more. It didn't take too long, and then he was doing just that, resting his chin on top of her head as they breathed deeply in tandem. "I don't know why we didn't come up here sooner. There is something so glorious about the peace that comes from the quiet."

"When we don't have to deal with smokers, yes. I don't mind your occasional cigar, but I would have issues if you decided to take up the habit on a regular basis." He chuckled a little before pushing aside her hair and pressing a soft kiss to the spot beneath her ear. "I don't want to leave this place, David, but I know that I have to get back to work."

"Well, we still have a few more minutes before we have to head back down. Just lean back against me, and we'll relax a little longer." She nodded as she lolled her head back against his shoulder, staring out at the sky once more as she allowed the peace of the sky to overwhelm her and settle her still racing mind.


	98. Chapter 98

"I can't talk long, Erin. Anne wants us to go talk with the families of the victims, to see if we can find out any information that might help us catch the son of a bitch that's doing this."

"I know, I just wanted to hear your voice. I have this weird feeling that something bad is going to happen soon, and I detest this heaviness in my heart. Please tell me that you're taking every precaution to be safe."

He let out a long sigh, which told Erin that things were not going well for them, and she wished that he could come to her office so that she could hold him close and remind herself that everything would be okay in the end, even though that was not what her heart was feeling in that moment of time. "I think that we're going to be fine, but I worry about Hotch. He and Emily are going to the prison where Karl Arnold is being held, to try and get his insight onto family annihilators. They're such rare unsubs that we don't have enough previous profiles to build a good working theory on what is going through this man's mind. You know that I don't try to personalize these cases, but I can't help but see our little family destroyed in this manner. I cannot wait to be home with you and the children tonight."

"Hopefully, you'll be here in time to read Elise a bedtime story and tuck her into bed."

"That sounds like heaven, _stellina_. How do you feel about the baby?"

It was Erin's turn to let out a sigh, and she pressed her free hand against her bump as she gazed at the picture of her family on her desk. "Honestly? I feel okay. I know that I should be more worried, but this pregnancy has gone so well that I haven't felt concerned about her. But that's shifting a little, the closer we get to the holidays and Haley and Jack aren't home. I don't know what that says about me, but I'm just a little terrified that something is going to happen to them, and that will cause something to happen to this little one."

"Is that why you haven't thought about a name for this little one?"

She cleared her throat before taking a small sip of water. "You noticed that?"

"It's kind of hard not to notice, Erin. I promise, everything is going to be all right with Haley and Jack, and our little bambina will be perfectly healthy."

Erin wanted to yell at him to not make promises he couldn't keep, since no one knew the future, but she held her tongue as she nodded. "I will hold onto that promise as tightly as I can, David. Now, much though I hate to say this, I know that I have to let you get back to work. Again, please, watch out for yourself, and if you have a moment, text Emily and have her do the same for Aaron. I love you."

"I love you, too, Erin," he replied before ending the call, and she slumped in her chair a little as she tried to find her sense of equilibrium once more.

Her personal phone jangled in her purse, and she opened her desk drawer and pulled it out, smiling to see that it was Karen. "Kare Bear! What has you calling me at work?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice, and since I'm all caught up on my school work, I asked my teacher if I could take a moment to call you. She thinks that it's so brave that you're having a baby at forty-eight."

Erin laughed out loud at the obvious eye roll she heard in her daughter's voice. "Well, I don't think it brave so much as we wanted this baby, even though she was a complete surprise."

"I think that Papa Dave's genes must agree with you more so than Aaron's."

Erin frowned a little at the very casual way her daughter let her know that she knew the secret they'd been keeping from them. "I'm sorry?"

"Oh, come on, Mom. I'm not ten. Aaron has been spending a lot of time at our house lately, since Haley and Jack went into WitSec, and Elise looks like him and you. There's nothing, really, of Papa Dave in her, but Bruce and Tabitha haven't seen that yet. I'm not going to tell them, because that's up to you three, but seeing the resemblance between Leelee and Aaron, it makes certain things surrounding your split with Daddy make a lot more sense."

"I do hope you realise that this is not how I imagined this conversation happening?" she interrupted, feeling like circumstances were spinning out of her control.

"Yeah, I bet you were going to wait until you thought that Jack and Elise were able to understand that adults are messy and complicated, and mistakes happen, but sometimes there are also white knights who come to the rescue of the damsel in distress and give her and her children the best life possible out of a horrible situation. We're an almost fairy tale family, Mom, and I will never give Tabby shit again for believing that those kinds of stories can happen."

Erin let out a soft sound of agreement as she leaned back in her chair, absently massaging her baby bump as she thought of what to say next. "I was very lucky that David was able to look past the rough patches in our earlier relationship. He was the only one I could think of who might stand up for me and help protect and shield Elise from Aaron's anger. And while you might think that you're old enough to know the whole story, that will be something that I don't share with you, ever. I had to work hard to move past what happened, and it is something I do not wish to relive, especially since Aaron and I are on better terms now. I hope that you can respect that decision, Karen."

"Of course I can, Mom. Ugh, Mrs. Brown is indicating that I have to get back to study hall now. I'll see you when you get home. Bye!"

Karen hung up and Erin shook her head a little as she dropped the phone back into her purse before taking a few deep breaths and turning to her computer, knowing that she had to get busy with returning emails that afternoon, as she had been putting that off for far too long. "I brought you a cup of tea, Erin," Helen said a few minutes later, and she looked up from the email she was composing to one of the police forces they had worked with earlier in the year to give her assistant a grateful smile. "I just feel like there's something in the air that is not boding well for Alpha, and for you."

Erin's expression slipped into something a little more wry as she took the cup from Helen's hand and sipped at the brew. "You're feeling it, too, then. I tried to tell David that something is wrong, but he promised me that everything will be fine with Haley and Jack and this baby. It was a nice platitude, but I don't know if I can believe it with what we see every day. It almost feels like this easy pregnancy has been in anticipation of what I would see at the end of this. Though I am trying not to focus on the negative feelings, because that's not helpful for the pregnancy."

Helen nodded as she reached out and patted Erin's shoulder lightly. "And I will try to keep things positive on my end for you. You have ten weeks to go, yes?"

"Yes." She gave Helen a small smile before turning her focus back to her email, knowing that she had a lot to get through before she could head home and spend some much needed time with her children.


	99. Chapter 99

Erin felt like she could cut the tension in her living room with a knife, and she absently stroked her baby bump as she looked between Aaron and David, willing one of them to say something. Ever since Aaron had stormed out of the prison, the mocking laughter of Karl Arnold following his back, the man had been driven, along with the rest of the team, to finally find George Foyet, knowing that he was far closer than any of them had realized. "Oof," she quietly exclaimed when the baby kicked out at her hand particularly firmly, and instantly the two men were looking at her in concern. "She's kicking up a storm right now. I think that she knows we're all balancing on the edge of a knife, and is trying to remind me that I have to look out for her, too."

Aaron nodded as he cleared his throat. "I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I forgot that you were pregnant for a moment, Erin. My attention just is so divided right now."

"I understand that," she said, wanting to say more, but then Bruce strode into the room, an easy smile on his face, as if he was deliberately ignoring the vibe Erin was certain was as loud as a jet engine. "What is it, honey?"

"Karen sent me in to tell you that supper's ready, and we're just waiting for you to join us at the table." He helped Erin to her feet, and she found it easy to smile at her son as she rested her head on his chest. He had undergone a growth spurt recently and was now three inches taller than she was. The new height lent him a new maturity, and she wondered where her little boy had gone. Letting out a short sigh, Erin looked up at him and felt her eyes fill with tears when he grinned in response. "Everything is going to be okay, Mom," he whispered as he led her into the dining room and over to her chair.

"Yeah, Mom, we're all going to chip in a little more around the house so that you have less to worry about here." Tabitha gave her a toothy grin, seeming much older than her twelve years. "We're old enough now to start pulling our share."

That was the moment she knew that her kids had picked up on the underlying tension of the past few months, and she felt her heart crack a little as she took her seat, picking up her water glass and taking a long sip, wishing desperately that it was wine. She needed something to take the edge off these feelings, but that would still be a year or two away, since she was planning on breastfeeding this last daughter of hers. "Don't feel like you have to sacrifice your lives to make things easier on me. If anything, we can hire someone to come in and clean. In fact, I think I might as Penelope to look into that once this whole debacle ends."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, _stellina_. Now, what did you kids make for supper tonight?" he asked as he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Elise's head before taking his seat at the head of the table, Aaron sitting between him and Elise as Tabitha answered. Bruce took the last empty seat before they all joined hands as David said grace. "So, Thanksgiving is next week, are we all ready for everyone to descend upon us?"

"I thought they were all staying at the cabin?" Karen asked as she started to pass around the dishes, and David nodded. "So we only have to be overrun for a few hours out of the days that they're here." He nodded and Karen gave Erin a secretive smile, letting her know that she wasn't looking forward to all the extra people. That didn't surprise her, since Karen was her most introverted child, and she gave her a small nod as the regular mealtime conversations started to take place. "But I wouldn't mind if you were here, Aaron, and Jessica. You two fit into this little branch of our family tree so well."

"I'll keep that in mind, Karen." Erin's heart lurched in her chest at how kind Aaron sounded when addressing her eldest daughter, and she rubbed her lips together in an effort to keep from crying. This wasn't what she had been expecting when she had found out about Elise, but a part of her couldn't help but feel so happy at the fact that through hard work on all their parts, Aaron had been integrated as a full member of their family.

Just as the last dish was set back on the table, their phones all buzzed, and Erin groaned a little, knowing that meant it was a work text. Fumbling around in her jacket pocket, she pulled out her phone, watching from the corner of her eye as David and Aaron followed her lead, their faces taking on the same shocked, drawn, look. "I'm sorry, we need to have a conference about this in the living room. We'll be back shortly," David said, quickly rising to his feet and coming to her side, helping her to rise before slinging an arm around her waist and following Aaron out of the room.

"Do you really think this is a credible lead?" Erin asked as she paced slowly in front of the windows, needing to work off some of her nervous energy as they talked.

"JJ is quite levelheaded, and if she thinks that she has something, I am fully inclined to believe her. Of course, we'll find out more in the morning…"

Erin stopped and fixed her eyes on Aaron, shaking her head quickly. "No. We all know that Foyet moves quickly, and if we're going to have any hope in stopping him before he hurts us, we need to jump on it now. Go to the office, start the searches you need to run, and don't worry about the overtime. I'll make certain the Director signs off on it after we've caught him. But if I'm asked, right now, I have no idea where you are, or what you're doing. But if I might give you a word of advice and caution."

"What?" Aaron asked softly.

"Do everything by the book as much as you can. This has the potential to go south very quickly, and I don't know if I will be able to save you, any of you, if the people above the Director raise a fuss. I know you all hate the politics game, but the only reason you've been able to run as freely as you have been is that I am good at the game, and can be cutthroat when necessary." She took a deep breath as she looked between the two of them. "Stay safe, keep me informed, and catch that son of a bitch."

"Yes, Erin," David answered as he came over to her side and pulled her into a tight hug. She melted against him as best she could, wishing that she wasn't quite so far along in her pregnancy so that she could be closer to him. Raising her face, Erin looked up at him, giving him a wobbly smile as he lowered his lips to hers, kissing her delicately before stepping away from her. "I love you," he whispered as he caressed her face.

"I love you, too," she whispered, wishing that she could go with them. It wouldn't help matters, but she was still loathe to send them off alone, without her, when things could very quickly get out of hand. "Now go before I do something stupid and ask to tag along."

Aaron nodded as he joined David by her side, reaching out to rest his hand on her shoulder. "I know that you're an adult, Erin, but stay safe here, too. Keep an eye out for any weird activity. Now that we have a credible lead on Foyet, things will come to a head quickly."

"I will, I promise." He nodded before tugging her close to his chest, his warm embrace seeming to be that much more desperate than David's had been, as if he was trying to imagine it was Haley he was hugging, and she blinked back the tears, knowing they would do nothing for any of them. "Call me as soon as you know anything." Both men nodded, and then they were headed out the door, Erin feeling like her heart was leaving with them.


	100. Chapter 100

"Everyone's in the conference room, ma'am," Penelope said as Erin stepped out of the elevators early the next morning. She gave the woman a wan smile, feeling thoroughly exhausted still. It had been a long night, and while David had called to let her know that he and Aaron were spending the night at the office, and he had commandeered her sofa, since it was more comfortable than his was, or so he claimed, she had still worried about him. A part of her had wondered if he just wanted to be closer to her in spirit, since she had chosen to sleep on his side of the bed and had even spritzed some of his cologne on the pillow before going to bed. "Are you feeling all right?"

Erin shrugged, rubbing her baby bump absently as she fought back a yawn. "I didn't sleep well. I guess the worry is getting to me. And I should check in with Helen before I stop in to see how the investigation is going." Penelope nodded and they parted ways. It was a slow walk to her office that morning, and Erin felt like her head was full of wool as she entered the room, giving Helen a small smile as she drifted past her desk to head into her inner sanctum. After dropping her purse and bag onto the top of her desk, Erin shrugged out of her coat and hung it on the tree before heading back out again.

"Here, take my tea, and I'll make a smoothie while you're talking to Dave."

"You know me too well," she murmured as she accepted the mug from Helen's hands, breathing in the delicate scent of Lady Grey tea. "I shouldn't be too long, but I should see if there's been any progress overnight."

"Take as long as you need, Erin. This is the most important thing right now, because everyone is in danger now that that monster is on the loose."

Erin nodded absently as she took a sip of the tea before heading down the hall and into the bullpen. Looking up, she saw that everyone was already gathered in the conference room, and she lugubriously made her way up the stairs, holding onto the rail tightly. She had taken to doing that at home, too, feeling like she was going to topple over backwards, due to her shifting center of gravity. Finally, she reached the top, and then made her way over to the conference room, taking a deep breath before she headed inside. "Good morning, Chief Strauss," Doctor Reid said, as he was the first to notice her enter the room.

"Good morning, Doctor Reid. Do you think that I could get a quick recap of where we are in regards to the Foyet case?"

David nodded as he discreetly held out his arm. She smiled before making her way to his side, taking hold of his hand and holding on tightly as he began to speak. "We have Lynch and Garcia working on figuring out which drugs don't have a substitute, but given that Foyet is on an extremely long list of medications to deal with the complications that come when you stab yourself as many times as he did, it might take a while."

Erin shuddered a little at that thought, thinking about Aaron and how he must be suffering in silence, too. Their eyes met, and she tried to swallow down the lump that was growing in her throat in her effort not to cry in front of them all. "I had forgotten the personal injuries he gave to himself, since he's destroyed so many people."

"It is easy to overlook," Agent Prentiss replied, giving her a cool look, which she returned with a little jut of her chin. "But I think that we're making good progress, ma'am."

There was a hint of derision in the woman's voice, still, and Erin pasted a placid smile on her lips as she glanced up at David. "Well, if there's a break in things, please let me know, darling. I should really get a start on my day."

"Of course," he replied quietly, a quizzical look on his face before he nodded and quickly pecked her cheek. "If we haven't heard anything by lunch, I'll bring us sandwiches and we can catch up."

"Good, because I missed having you talk my ear off this morning on the way to work." After giving him a small nod, Erin turned on her heel and left the conference room, taking care not to trip on her way down the stairs. Sparing a small smile for Agent Anderson, Erin strode back to her office and handed Helen back her tea before accepting the smoothie. "Thank you for doing this for me again."

"It is my pleasure to help you out where I can. Has there been a break in the case?"

"Sort of, yes. Agent Jareau has managed to stumble upon the fact that there are some drugs which can only be sourced from a pharmacy, and Penelope and Mister Lynch are trying to whittle down the extensive list of medications that Foyet takes down to just the ones that have no substitute. I'm not entirely certain what bearing that will take on the investigation, but if it gives them hope and a direction, I am all for it." She sighed a little as she brought the cup to her lips, drinking a large gulp of the liquid.

"But you're still unsettled by something."

She nodded as she carefully took a seat on the corner of Helen's desk, resting her free hand on her baby bump. "I need to be honest with you, because I have been trying so desperately to keep it together for David and the children. I am more than a little afraid of what happens next. I'm afraid that something will happen to David or Aaron, and that I'll have another set of blood upon my heart. I don't want to think about a future that doesn't contain my love or the father of one of my children."

Helen nodded as she reached out and squeezed her knee delicately. "I can't even begin to imagine the stress that you must be under, Erin. Having to think about growing a baby, worrying that this case is going to crash down around the whole team, and trying to keep everything else here running well."

"It is a lot, and it is very difficult to walk the tightrope required of me. A part of me knows that I am going to take a wrong step at some point in the near future, and I just hope that when I do fall, there's a light landing in store for me."

" _Stellina_." She stiffened to hear David call her by her pet name, her hand tightening around her glass as she carefully turned to look into her partner's eyes. "You have to lean on me. I know that you want to be so independent, which is wonderful, but there are times when you need to share that burden with me."

Erin nodded as fat tears began to roll down her cheeks, and he came over to her side, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her head against his chest as he kissed the crown of her hair. "I just don't want to divide your attention, when it should be laser focused on Aaron and catching Foyet. There will be time enough for you to love on me when this case is closed, and we return to the more mundane unsubs that don't have a vendetta against one of our agents." Reaching up, she cupped his cheek and rubbed her thumb back and forth as she struggled to get control of her emotions again, knowing that tears would get them nowhere, and she needed to be strong for the team, even if they didn't particularly care for her.


	101. Chapter 101

Erin was almost ready to head out to lunch when Helen came into her office, a nervous grin on her lips. Erin knew that this meant there had been a break in the Foyet case, and she wondered why David had contacted her. Frowning a little, she indicated for Helen to take a seat in front of her desk while she fished her phone out of her purse and scrolled through her notifications to see if she had missed something while she had been working on compiling the data for the next quarter's budget. There wasn't anything from him, however, and her frown deepened as she splayed her hand out on her baby bump and fixed a look on Helen. "All right, what's happened?"

Helen smiled widely before leaning forward, placing her hands on Erin's desk as she drew in a deep breath. "Ms. Garcia managed to figure out which medication that Foyet is on cannot be duplicated, and after she came back to the conference room with that information, Doctor Reid was able to figure out that he was using an alias to get that prescription, and things just sort of snowballed from there. Agent Morgan decided to call in SWAT, and they're going to case the apartment building that was listed as his alias's residence. Hopefully, luck will be on our side, and we can actually catch this bastard before he gets away again."

"That is good news, indeed," she replied letting out a long breath as she rubbed her stomach, finding that the baby was starting to kick up a storm, reminding Erin that she was hungry, since it always seemed that she became more active when Erin hadn't eaten in a while. "And I'm glad that Agent Morgan decided to do the smart thing and call in SWAT rather than head over to the apartment building with the team. I know that the Director would have had a field day if that choice had been made."

"I know, Erin, and I agree. Maybe they're starting to wisen up a little?"

"From your lips to God's ears, Helen." Wincing a little, Erin managed to get herself to her feet and went over to the coat tree, slipping into her coat before tying the belt around her waist into a loose bow. "Now, I am going to head out for lunch, and get my daily exercise in. Will you please call me if anything pressing occurs before I return?"

"Of course. But, are you going to be heading out alone?" Erin glared at her as she went back to her desk and grabbed her purse, stuffing her phone inside it before roughly yanking the zipper closed. "I'm sorry, I have to ask! You know how protective Agent Rossi is of you, and I also wouldn't hear the end of it from Agent Hotchner if something happened to you."

"I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, he's been asking after you, when you're occupied in meetings or out at appointments. I know, I probably should have said something to you, but I thought it was rather endearing that he would see if you were doing all right. It just goes to show how much he's changed since you found out you were pregnant with Elise."

"I suppose that you do have a point, Helen." Erin relaxed a little as she gave her assistant a warm smile. "I will be back shortly, I'm just going to that little café right down the road." Helen nodded and then followed Erin out of her office, taking a seat behind her own desk as she got back to work. "Helen, it's lunch time. Go and eat."

"I'll just eat here."

Erin narrowed her eyes a little before shaking her head. "If you're going to be stubborn like that…"

"I have to be prepared, just in case there's a break that you need to know about. As soon as you get back, then I'll take a proper break, I promise."

She nodded reluctantly before leaving the office and heading over to the elevators. "Erin, wait up!"

Turning a little, Erin smiled tiredly at David, welcoming him in her space as she pressed the down button. "I'm heading out for lunch, darling. You have to stay here, just in case something happens with the Foyet case. I know that when breaks happen, you need to move on them quickly."

He nodded before reaching out and caressing her shoulder gently. "I know, I just wanted to touch base with you for a moment. I feel like we haven't seen much of each other in the last few days. Are you doing okay?"

Erin drew in a tired breath as she nodded. "I'm fine, I just feel a little more tired at the moment. Which is probably a result of the stress of this case and the fact that it's so late in my pregnancy. Though a part of me wishes that all my children were yours, because this is the easiest pregnancy I've had." He chuckled before pressing a quick kiss to her temple as the elevator doors slid open. "Now, I'm assuming that none of you have stopped for food. Am I correct?"

"Yes."

"Take the team's sandwich orders for our café, and I'll put the order in while I'm eating, so that it will be ready when I leave, and you all don't have to worry about stopping to think about a detail like that."

"Make certain you put it on our credit card."

"I was going to write it off as an office expense. I hardly ever use my food budget after all, and this would be for the best cause. Okay?"

He nodded and pulled away from her a little so that she could get in the elevator, giving him a small wave before pressing the button for the ground floor. It was surprising just how she felt better for seeing her fiancé, even if only for a few moments, but she knew that being so connected to him for the last five years had bound them much closer together than she could ever have imagined. Humming happily to herself as the elevator descended, Erin rubbed her stomach, thinking about how close they were to meeting this little one. While she was at the point where the baby had a good chance of survival if born at any time past that day, she also knew that every hour she kept their last little princess inside, the stronger she would become.

"Erin, I did not realise you were pregnant again!"

She turned to see who was addressing her, and smiled to see Katie Cole stepping out of the stairwell, an easy grin on her face. "Where have you been for the last seven months?" she joked as they made their way out to the sidewalk. "But this will definitely be the last little Rossi child. I don't think my body would like it if I tried to have another little one."

"Well, hopefully this little one is as adorable as Elise is. Dave was showing off pictures in the elevator the other day, and I can't get over how she's so perfect."

"I was very blessed, yes," she replied softly. "Are you headed to the café?"

"Yeah, you?" Erin nodded. "Excellent! I feel like we haven't had much opportunity to catch up in a while, so it will be nice to have a short lunch with you."

"As long as you don't mind my showing off more pictures of all my children." Katie shook her head, giving her a wide smile as they continued to make their way to the café, chatting about the things that were inconsequential in order to take their minds off what they saw every day at work.


	102. Chapter 102

Erin had found it hard to get to sleep the previous evening, the heavy weight of disappointment seeping out of David and into her. It shouldn't have surprised her, or any of them, that Foyet would have had alerts on all of his aliases, as it had kept him free since the moment he had escaped prison. He was wily, sinister, and this just proved that they needed to stay on their toes at every possible moment, otherwise something awful could happen. She wasn't surprised to see that David as already gone when she made her way to the kitchen, since he was just as driven to find Foyet as the rest of the team, if not more so, since only he and Penelope knew the truth of Elise's parentage.

Letting out a little sigh, she rubbed her stomach as she yawned widely, knowing that a midmorning nap would be in order, after she had gotten a little work finished. "I kept breakfast warm for you, Mom. I'm going to drive today, since Tabitha has practice, and I know that you and Papa Dave will be working late tonight, what with the current case. And Leelee is all ready to go, too, and her bag is packed."

Erin gave Karen a grateful smile as she nodded. "I take it that you allowed me to sleep in a little this morning?"

"Well, Papa Dave woke me up before he left, telling me that he turned your alarm off, to let you get some extra rest. You won't be late for work, just not quite as early as you normally are. He's right, Mom. You look exhausted, and I know that the stress and the pregnancy are starting to negatively affect you. When are you going on maternity leave again?"

"As soon as they've caught Foyet. And given that he's on the move again, that should be any day now. Don't worry, I know what my limits are, and I won't do anything to harm this little one." Karen nodded before hugging her tightly, and Erin kissed her cheek softly before embracing Bruce and Tabitha in turn, shooing them out the door before taking her breakfast out of the microwave and leaning against the island in the center of the kitchen before starting to eat. "And how is my sweet Elise today?" she asked as she focused on her daughter.

"I'm good, Mama. When can I see Jack and Aunt Haley again?"

Erin felt her heart clench tightly in her chest as she blinked back tears. "Soon, darling, soon. Papa and Uncle Aaron need to catch the bad man so that they can safely come home. I know that you don't understand all of what's happening, but I hope that you understand just how much Uncle Aaron loves Aunt Haley and Jack, and would do anything in his power to make certain that they were safe." Reaching out, she stroked Elise's hair as she gave her a warm smile. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mama." Elise grinned up at her, and Erin felt another lurch in her chest as she nodded, finishing up her food. Taking a glance at her watch, she saw that there was enough time to quickly do the morning dishes, and she filled the sink with water and dish soap before rinsing off the dishes before settling them in the water to soak. To her surprise, she heard the sound of a stool being pushed closer and closer to the sink, and when she glanced over, she saw that Elise was grinning at her as she clambered up to the seat and plopped down on to the counter. "Can I help?"

"If you're careful, Elise," she replied as she pushed her sleeves up to her elbows and began to wash the bowls and silverware. Handing a towel to Elise, she then gave her the unbreakable dishes to wipe dry while she dried off the glassware and heavier pieces. While they finished up, her phone began to ring loudly, and she frowned a little at the sound. It wasn't a number in her contact list, as it was playing the unknown number jingle. "Sit very still, Mama has to answer that."

"Okay!" Elise grinned as Erin carefully made her way over to the other counter, digging through her purse to grab her phone before answering.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Erin Strauss?"

The soft southern drawl took her aback a little, and she tried to place the voice as she replied. "This is. Who is calling, please?"

There was a short pause, and Erin frowned as she pulled the phone away from her ear to look at the display, seeing that the number was a government one. That stole her breath away, since it most likely had to do with Haley, and she hurriedly brought the phone back to her ear as she went over to Elise's side and wrapped her free arm around her daughter's shoulders as she waited for her answer. "This is Victor Collins with the US Marshals, ma'am. Now, before you start to worry, I have to let you know that Haley is all right. She and Jack are being moved because there has been a credible sighting of George Foyet in her current area."

"Oh my god," she whispered out as she tightened her hold on Elise's shoulder, tugging her closer to her side. "But why are you calling me?"

"While going through her phone, it was discovered that she has made a large number of calls and texts, relatively, to your number. There is frequent mention in said texts about your daughter, Elise? How Jack misses his sister?"

"Yes," she answered slowly, feeling true fear grip her heart. This is what she had feared might happen, that their indiscreet conversations might come back to haunt her, and tears began to swim in her eyes. "Do, do you think that Foyet has somehow gotten access to those texts?"

"It is more than likely, ma'am. And he knows of your attachment to both Agent Hotchner and Agent Rossi, since that was made clear in those texts."

"What should I do?"

"I'm going to take you into protective custody with Haley and Jack. The safest place, where Foyet would never think to look for all of you, is right under his nose. As we speak, Haley is headed home, and we need you to meet us there before we move you all to a safe place. I think that it goes without saying, but do not bring your cellphone, the Marshal Service will inform Agent Rossi about what has happened. We feel that, at this time, it will be much safer to do this quickly and without alerting Foyet by contacting Agent Hotchner or Agent Rossi until you're in your new safe house."

Erin nodded woodenly, feeling more afraid than she had ever been in her life. "Do, do I have time to put together a small bag for Elise?"

"No, ma'am, I'm afraid not. We'll provide toiletries and other necessities once you reach your final destination."

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as possible. Thank you, Marshal Collins."

"It is my pleasure, ma'am," he replied before ending the call, and Erin drew in a shuddering breath as she pulled away from Elise to wipe away the tears that had been rolling down her eyes.

"What's wrong, Mama?"

She shook her head as she tried to smile strongly at Elise. "We're going to go on a little adventure with Jack and Aunt Haley, darling. It seems like they wanted us to join them, and the man who's protecting her agreed. Are you happy?" Elise nodded, and Erin stepped closer to her daughter once more, hugging her tightly as she struggled to keep from sobbing, wondering if their lives would ever be the same again.


	103. Chapter 103

Erin had tried to keep herself calm and collected while she drove over to the Hotchner home. She knew that acting too sad or out of sorts would have effects on Elise's mood. Since things were already so nebulous about what would happen from this point forward, she knew that she needed to keep her daughter happy and focused on anything other than asking questions. Especially since any questions might result in Erin having to reveal to her that the trip they were taking did not include her father or her uncle Aaron.

Turning up the music a little, she began to sing along with the song, knowing that Elise loved it when she sang, even if she didn't think that she had a very good voice. It helped that it was a song she loved, so she was able to put a little extra heart into it, even if she wasn't feeling all that eager to sing. An accident along the way caused her to run later than she would have liked, and she hoped that she wouldn't arrive too late. She knew that time was of the essence in a case like this, and didn't want to be the cause of anything bad happening to Haley or Jack or Elise. Their lax control over the months since Haley had gone into hiding had drawn her daughter into this madness, and as soon as she knew that they were safe, she was going to have to beg David and Aaron for forgiveness.

Finally, she turned onto the familiar street and slowed her driving, suddenly finding ice filling the pit of her stomach. Erin didn't know why she was nervous, other than the fact that she didn't know what was going to happen next, but she tried to take a few calming breaths, to will herself to be warm, even when she thought about the next few hours. Letting out a long breath, she turned into the driveway. The garage door was down, so she parked to the far right, in order to hide the vehicle from the road, since that side of the gate was currently closed.

As she got Elise out of her car seat, the gate began to close, which made her feel a little more at ease. Evidently, Haley had been watching for her, and was doing what she could to keep them safe. Glancing around, Erin took firm hold of Elise's hand and brought her to the door, climbing the shallow brick steps before raising her hand to knock on the door. There was a long pause, which caused her to be on edge once more, since she would have thought that Haley would have answered right away. Instead, it was Jack opening the door nearly two minutes later, and Erin tried not to frown at him. "Elise! Aunt Erin! You're finally here!"

She let out a low oof when he rushed forward and hugged her tightly, before wrapping his chubby little arms around Elise, kissing her cheek with childish abandon. "I'm so glad to see you, Jack. How have you been?"

"Good, but I've missed Daddy and you. But you're here now, and you get to meet our new friend."

Erin frowned a little as he pulled Elise inside, and she followed after him, kicking herself for not bringing her phone with her, as she was starting to feel like there was something a bit wrong with this situation, but she was left without a way to reach out to David or Aaron, to let them know what was going on. Still, she closed the door quietly, not wanting to alarm anyone by acting nervous or jumpy. As she followed Jack and Elise into the living room, her worst fears were realized when she looked into the face of pure evil, wearing a devilish smile as he lifted his shirt a little to reveal a gun before casually pulling out a wicked looking knife to pick at his fingernails with.

"It is so good of you to join us, Erin. I'm sorry for the little white lie I told to get you over here, but I felt that it was better that we had a family affair for what's to come next. Hey, Jackie boy, who's this?" Foyet asked as he knelt down next to their children, his hand never setting the knife down, which told Erin that they had to tread lightly if they were all going to get out of this situation alive.

"This is Elise, my aunt Erin's daughter. I've missed her so much!" Jack answered as he and Elise beamed at Foyet before starting to play with the toys on the coffee table.

"I am so sorry, Erin. I had no clue that this was going to happen. I don't have my phone."

She nodded as she stepped closer to Haley, never really taking her eye off Foyet as he interacted with the children. From everything she knew about the man, he was extremely fast and extremely deadly. She didn't have her service weapon, there hadn't been time enough to grab it before she and Elise had left to come here, falling right into Foyet's trap. Plus, she was ungainly at the moment, her baby bump making her awkward and slowing her responses. So even if she had had her weapon, odds were more likely than not that Foyet would kill either Elise or Jack, and not show any remorse over it. "Ladies, you don't need your phones, I have a phone that we'll be using shortly. I just wanted to get a feel for how things were. Erin, am I correct in thinking that Jack and Elise don't know the T-R-U-T-H?"

Erin frowned when he spelled out that word like they were children, her hackles raising as an intense wave of anger swept over her body. "No. There are things that we all feel should wait until they're older before we explain to them," she bit out, clasping Haley's hand after feeling it brush against hers.

"That's a shame, Elise should know that her mother is a whore. And now, they won't ever hear the truth because they're going to D-I-E." Erin felt her stomach roil angrily at those words, knowing then and there that she would fight tooth and nail to protect her children, along with Jack and Haley. "They are adorable, though. It would have been safer for everyone if you had just joined Haley in WitSec in the first place. I mean, I would have found you all, eventually. Everyone makes mistakes. But it looks like you've made a rather large one, Erin. How close are you to your due date?"

"She'll be here in January," she whispered, her hand tightening around Haley's, finding herself on the verge of tears, but not wanting to let them fall, since she didn't want to give him that satisfaction. "She's our last little miracle."

"She would have been," Foyet said, twirling the knife dangerously close to Elise's head as he jerked his chin upwards. "Come over here, I don't like you standing so close to Haley. I don't want you two to plan something while we're waiting for the last piece to fall into place here."

"And that would be?" Erin asked as she did what he wanted, knowing that if she placated him, there might be a chance of getting them out of this situation.

"For Aaron to call and let me know that he's on his way here. He already knows that I have Haley and Jack, but it will be all the sweeter to let him know that his boss and daughter are also under my command." A shiver coursed down her spine, and for the first time, Erin felt like they might not get out of this situation alive.


	104. Chapter 104

Just as Erin was about to say something, to protest that the children were innocent in all of this, that he could hurt her, but let Haley and the children go, the phone that Foyet had alluded to began to ring. Feeling a shiver of fear run up and down her spine, she gave a tight, tense, smile to everyone in the room as she waited for Foyet to answer. "Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, do I have a surprise for you. One second, let me put you on speaker, so that we can all chat together."

She watched as Foyet pulled the phone away from his ear and tapped on the screen, and then Aaron's voice was pouring out of the speaker. "You will not touch a hair on their heads."

"You don't get it, Aaron. I'm the one in charge here, and I decide what happens. As I've already told Haley and Erin, it is a shame that your children are going to D-I-E. Is the brat in Erin's belly yours?"

"Erin? Why are you there?"

"Because I was stupid and didn't call you or David after Foyet called me. Only, he didn't say it was him, he claimed to be a Marshal. The fear kicked in my flight reflex, and I'm here now. I'll do my best to protect everyone, but I don't have my service weapon."

There was a short pause before Aaron spoke once more. "No, Erin, I need you to focus on your baby. I'm on my way, the team will be right behind me. And then, everything will work out for good. We'll tell Jack and Elise the truth, and how much we love them, and how families are complicated and messy."

"Lie after lie after lie, Aaron. Is that why Haley left you? Because you could never tell the truth? I mean, I am looking at a very adorable lie of yours right now, and I must say that if my girlfriend told that outrageous a lie, I would have left her. Instead, I stabbed her, like I stabbed you. Like I might stab Haley and Erin. Haven't decided on that one yet."

That was the moment that Erin started to cry, realizing that this was most likely going to be her last few minutes on Earth. There was so much more that she wanted to do, so much she wanted to say to David and her children, and now it was going to be too late. Glancing over at Haley, she saw that the woman was crying as well, and she wished that she could close the distance between them once more, to comfort her in this moment. "Put Jack on the phone. Now."

There was real steel in Aaron's voice, and Erin shuddered a little, knowing that the man was going to try to move heaven and earth to reach them before Foyet hurt them. But she also knew that he was going to be too late. There was no way Foyet would let them go. "Here, Jackie boy, Daddy wants to talk to you."

Jack looked around the room at them, frowning a little to see that she and Haley were crying. "Hi, Daddy. Is George a bad guy?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm afraid he is. But I need you to do something for me. While I talk to George and Aunt Erin and Mommy, will you and Elise work the case with me?"

"Of course, Daddy!" He got up and took hold of Elise's hand, dragging her over to Erin's side before hugging her tightly. Erin found herself loathe to let go of Jack, but then Elise was joining in the embrace, and she had to fight to hold in her sobs, not wanting to scare them any more than they might already be. "I love you," he lisped out before hurrying over to Haley's side, hugging her with the same abandon, Elise again joining in. Erin felt her heart break as she watched Haley tighten her hold on their children until Jack began to wriggle in her arms. "Mommy, you're holding on so tightly. Don't be sad, Elise and I are going to work the case, and Daddy will come and make everything all better."

"I just love you, both of you, so much," Haley cried out as she burst into the sobs that Erin wanted to cry. "Now go, work the case and make Daddy proud." He nodded as he shoved the phone into Haley's hand and dragged Elise out of the room, their feet thundering up the stairs. Foyet chuckled evilly, and Erin straightened her spine, determined to not break before this man. He might want to murder them, but she would not cower.

"I'll be right up there to play with you, Jackie boy. Occupy your sister while you wait!" he called out as he walked over to Haley's side, pulling out his gun and using the barrel to play with Haley's hair. The look Foyet fixed on her told her that if she even dared think about moving, he'd shoot Haley and then her so quickly, she wouldn't see it coming, and Erin swallowed back bile as her baby started to dance in her uterus, as if picking on her distress. Instinctively, she caressed her baby bump, sending up prayers that Aaron would be fast enough to save them from the fate she was certain to experience.

"Haley, are they gone?"

"Yes."

"Good. I know that you and Erin didn't sign on for all of this, and I am so sorry that I wasn't able to protect you both. I, I don't think that I'll make it in time. Haley, Erin, do not show him any fear. You are both far stronger than he will ever be. Haley, I love you."

"And I love you. Hurry, and I know that you can make it. But if, God forbid, the worst happens, tell your children about love. Let them know that their mothers loved them so much that they looked death in the eye and spit in his face. And as you raise Jack, let him see what love is like. Tell him that you weren't always this serious. Find a new love, move on, and raise them together. Dave will need your help, too, I think. After all, he'll have four children to help raise, and your best friend shouldn't go it alone. Promise me, Aaron."

"I promise, Haley. I will tell him all about our time together in high school, and how much he was wanted, and how dearly you loved him. And I'll do the same for Elise, I give you that same promise, Erin." Haley locked eyes with her once more, and she gave a sharp nod to the woman as she dug her fingers into the firm flesh of her belly, trying to connect with her beloved little one.

"Still with the lies, Aaron. I hope that they make you all feel better, but we all know the truth of the matter. I'm going to kill Haley, and then Erin, and finally hunt down both your little bastards. Before they die, they'll know that it didn't have to be this way. That you could have taken the deal I offered you and none of this would have happened. All you needed to do was not go after me. But you couldn't do that, you had to listen to your ridiculous sense of honor."

Before any of them could say another word, Foyet moved the gun, placing the barrel at the base of Haley's neck before pulling the trigger twice in quick succession, her body falling to the floor in front of Erin's eyes. Before she could move, or react, the gun went off once more, and she felt a searing pain tear through her shoulder before she, too, crumpled to the ground, the world fading to black as she was enveloped in a haze of overwhelming agony.


	105. Chapter 105

The next thing Erin was aware of was the sound of machines beeping in her ears. Groaning a little, she opened her too heavy eyes, quickly closing them when the lights overhead stabbed at her eyes. It seemed that once she was aware of her surroundings, her body began to inform her what it was experiencing, and that was overwhelming pain. Her shoulder ached from where Foyet had shot her, and strangely, her stomach hurt.

Trying to sit up, Erin immediately noticed that her stomach was flat, the baby bump that she had been growing for the last seven months gone. A franticness began to fill her mind as she awkwardly shifted around on the bed, using her one good arm to get her into as best of a seated position as she could manage as she looked around for David, Aaron, anyone. Finding herself alone, Erin burst into sobs as she heard the machines that she was hooked up to start to clang with warnings. Moments later, the door to her room opened, and a few nurses rushed in, Penelope close behind them. Ignoring the health care workers, she focused her gaze on Penelope, holding out her good arm as she continued to sob, Erin welcomed the heavy feel of Penelope's body against hers as she struggled to get control of her emotions.

"I need you to step back for a few moments, ma'am, so that we can get her vitals taken, and ask a few questions." The taller nurse gave Erin an understanding smile, and she nodded in response as she nudged Penelope away, even though she was loathe to lose the comfort of her touch, since she was the only familiar face there at that moment. "All right, Erin, you are awake sooner than we thought you might be, given your blood loss, but it is good to see that you're back with us. It was touch and go for quite some time, as the bullet nicked the artery in your shoulder. While you were in surgery to repair that wound, your baby was found to be in distress, and it was felt that it was in both of your best interests if we proceeded with an emergency c-section."

"And, and my baby?" she asked hesitantly, her uninjured arm sliding down to stroke the place where her baby had been just a short while ago. A part of her was fearful to hear what the nurse had to say, since this baby was so much earlier than Elise had been. The nurse gave her a tense smile, which she automatically assumed meant the worst, and she nodded as she rubbed her lips together, falling quiet as they finished taking her vitals and checking the wound on her shoulder. "How long was I unconscious?"

"Only about three hours after your surgeries, Erin. And those took four hours, so it's almost seven now." Penelope's voice was welcome to her ears, and she nodded as the nurses left the room. It was good to be alone, so that she could break down with only one other person to judge her for doing so. "Helen won't be here until tomorrow, she's holding down the fort back at the office, along with Director Shepperd and the Red Cell team. There will be an inquiry in two weeks' time, which the Director thinks will be sufficient for you to heal and lead said inquiry."

"I can't do that, I was directly involved," she began to protest as Penelope sank down on the mattress next to her.

"The Director seems to think that there won't be that large a conflict of interest, especially given how tough you've been on our team in the past. Plus, and you did not hear this from me, I think that he knows what he wants the outcome of the inquiry to be, especially given the nature of how the Reaper died. Rossi will fill you in on all the icky details, but suffice it to say, we don't need to worry about him coming back to hunt our team once more. Now, I noticed that the nurse didn't answer your question, and you didn't press for answers, before she left."

"I assumed that meant that my baby didn't make it."

Penelope shook her head as she gave Erin a watery smile. "I wish that there was an easy way to hug you without hurting you at the moment. Hotch, at least, wasn't as badly injured as you were, even though he did take a beating from Foyet."

Erin nodded as she groped around for Penelope's hand, finally starting to wonder where David was. "And…?"

"And you have an incredibly strong daughter who inherited her fighting spirit from her mother. That's why Rossi and Hotch aren't here with you now. They're up in the NICU with her right now, and if I had to hazard a guess, your partner is probably helping him talk about his grief."

"Aaron doesn't talk about his feelings. He's like me, keeping them close to the vest," she whispered as she allowed her head to come to rest against Penelope's shoulder as she took a few deep breaths. "Were you able to see our daughter?"

"No, they whisked her away before I was able to get here. Once I did arrive, Hotch left your side to go be with Rossi, since he didn't want to leave you alone. The others on the team are still at Hotch's house, since it's considered a federal crime scene, and someone needs to gather all the data for our reports."

Erin nodded as she tried to take in all the information that she was being given. It was almost too much to take in, but still, she needed to know what had happened after she had been shot. "I know that I'll hear more what happened today during the inquest, but I need to know from you what went down."

"I'll tell you as much as I know. I was in the office while the others were out trying to track down Foyet, though we were all on the phone to overhear Hotch and Foyet talking."

Erin felt the blood drain from her face as she pulled away a little in order to look into Penelope's eyes. "No."

"Yeah, everyone now knows that Elise is definitely Hotch's daughter. No one's really said anything about it yet, because of everything that's happened, but yeah. I know that's not how you would have wanted the news to come out, but we needed some way of finding out where Foyet had brought Haley and Jack. Something that one of you said clued us all in, but we still didn't get there until after Foyet was dead. I sent an ambulance over, just in case one or both of you had survived, and I am so glad that I did, since that was what saved your life, and your daughter's. Hotch, well, he beat Foyet to death, according to Derek. The back of his head was just…pulp. I don't blame Hotch for what he did, he was protecting you and the children. He knew that Foyet had to be taken care of, otherwise he would finish what he started with Haley and you."

Erin nodded slowly, feeling a bone crushing weariness starting to fill her senses. "I see," she murmured. "Will you, will you please send my David to me now? I need him."

"Of course, Erin. I'll be right back with him." Before she could protest, Penelope bent in and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before popping to her feet and scurrying from room, leaving Erin alone with her thoughts and worries.


	106. Chapter 106

A little while later, the door to her hospital room opened once more, revealing David and a nurse. Her fiancé immediately came over to her side, sinking down on the bed as the nurse pushed a bassinet into the room. Through the clear side, Erin could see their daughter squirming, a loud series of cries almost bellowing from her lungs. That sound alone was enough to cause her to burst into tears, leaning against David's chest as the nurse lifted the baby out of the bassinet and gently placed her in Erin's arms. "I'll be back in two hours to return her to the nursery."

Erin nodded as she cuddled their daughter closer to her chest, marveling a little at how beautiful she was. "I hope that you don't mind, but I gave her a name. I remembered what you said about Elise, how since she had a name, she had to stay, and I wanted her to stay, just in case you didn't wake up from your surgery."

"What did you decide on?" she asked quietly as she studied their daughter's face, taking in every little detail about her delicate features. She was going to have her hair, since there were already little blonde tufts sprouting from her head, and she let out a deep breath as she waited for David to answer.

"I went with Catherine Joy Rossi. Because she is my joy, as well as yours, now that you're awake. She's larger than Elise was when she was born, and I'm attributing that to the fact that this pregnancy was so much easier on you than the stress and worry you had with Elise."

"How much did she weigh?" she asked as she stroked Catherine's face with her finger, smiling when the baby turned her head instinctively towards it and began to suck. "And is Doctor Brunner still here? I'd like to ask if I can safely start to breastfeed her now, or if I have to wait until tomorrow, so that the anesthetic is out of my system."

"Catherine weighed in at six pounds, twelve ounces. And I am so glad that she's going to have your hair, since that is one of the things I love about you. And Doctor Brunner had to go to another delivery, so she'll be by to see how you're doing after that baby arrives. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to get to you in time in order to delivery Catherine, since time truly was of the essence."

She nodded as she allowed David to pull her closer to his side, smiling when he dropped a tender kiss to the top of her head. "Our sweet little Cathy is finally here. And I love her name, David. Thank you for choosing well." Looking up at him, she puckered her lips, and he took the hint by dropping a quick kiss to her lips. "Tell me, tell me what happened. I know that Foyet shot Haley twice, and shot me. But I feel like I don't know anything that happened before and after that?"

David drew in a deep breath, and she prepared herself for the worst. "By the time Hotch arrived home, Haley was already gone. He assumed that you were, as well, since you were so still, and he went hunting for Foyet, since he hadn't found Jack or Elise yet." She hissed a little as his hand tightened around her bad shoulder, which caused him to instantly release her before dropping his hand down to her waist, his thumb rubbing back on forth as he took a few shaky breaths. Erin braced herself for bad news, knowing that Foyet was a truly evil man and that he would have stopped at nothing to hurt Aaron as much as he possibly could. "So, you'll read this in the reports that we'll give you, along with the police, but Haley's body was not in the same room as you were found. Foyet left you in the living room, while he dragged Haley up to the master bedroom. Hotch was distracted by that finding, not noticing that Foyet was in there with him until it was almost too late."

"Did he…?"

"No, he managed to shoot Foyet with his entire clip, center mass. It would have killed him then and there, but…"

"He was wearing a vest, knowing that Aaron would go for that certain shot rather than the riskier head shot like Agent Jareau and I favor."

David nodded, kissing her again. "And that's why I know you would have done anything to take out Foyet if you had had your service weapon on you. But he knew exactly what to say to make you fear for your life, and for Elise, and get you to do what he wanted without any of us being the wiser. He was a master manipulator."

She let out a strangled sob as she turned her face into his shoulder, a wave of guilt washing over her as she thought about how Haley had died. "I should have been smarter."

"You were fine, and did all that you could to protect the children." There was a soft pause before he kissed her again, as if he was still trying to assure himself that she was still there. "So, Foyet got a bit of the drop on Hotch and tackled him to the ground, trying to beat the shit out of him. From what I could see at the house, it was clearly a fight for their lives. Morgan walked in on Hotch just wailing on Foyet's dead body, and pulled him off."

"And the children?" she asked, feeling like her heart was going to burst from her chest with how hard it was beating as she waited for her answer.

"They were safe in Hotch's office, hiding in the window seat. I guess that Jack would spend time with Hotch in there, and that was the first place that he could think of to keep them both safe. Jen told me that when he found the kids, Elise was asleep on Jack's chest, his little arms holding her close. She and Reid took them outside."

"And where are they now?" she managed to choke out, unconsciously holding Catherine tighter to her chest as she waited for David to tell her where her daughter was.

"They're safe, they're at our house. Jessica left work early in order to take care of all our children, so that we could be here for you and Catherine." She nodded a little, feeling like she was going to be sick. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sore, sad. But also glad that our baby is okay? I lost a good friend today, David."

"I know, but you were both so strong until the end. I am so proud of you for not showing that monster any fear."

"I tried my best. It wasn't good enough to save everyone." He nodded as he lifted his hand to stroke her hair. "Where's Aaron? Is he staying with Jessica and the children? Did he have to be admitted to the hospital for his injuries?"

"He was able to be taken care of in the ER within the hour. And then he came to sit with me while I waited for you to get out of surgery. When we found out that there was going to be the emergency delivery, he insisted on staying, since things were so touch and go with you, given the amount of blood you lost."

"I see. And where is he now?"

"With Penelope, in the hall. Why?"

"Bring him in here, please, and send Penelope to our house to help Jessica. Please. I need…" Her voice broke off as she began to sob once more, and David gave her one last kiss to the top of her head before slipping off the bed and making his way to the door, leaving Erin alone with their daughter as she tried to get control over her emotions, not wanting Aaron to see her in such a state, wanting to be strong for him on this horrid day.


	107. Chapter 107

A few seconds later, the door to her room opened once more, and Aaron entered, though David was nowhere to be seen. She frowned a little, watching Aaron shrug as he approached her and pulled the chair in the room close to the bed before taking a seat. "Dave and Garcia decided to run home for a little while. There wasn't time to get you anything to wear home, and there's nothing for the little miss to wear. I, I was going to get something for her soon, but I've run out of time."

"Well, she's here now, and since she's going to stay, as she has a name, there is plenty of time for you to find the perfect gift for her. So, everyone knows the truth about Elise now."

"I sort of figured that out when JJ asked me if what Foyet had said was true. I didn't deny it, because you didn't deny it when speaking to that man, but I think that it will take some time for them to grow accustomed to this truth. We've been lying to them for so long, and they know that I can't stand liars, so it's a bit of cognitive dissonance that they have to deal with."

She nodded as her shoulders slumped. "I thought that might be the case. I don't mind that they know, because the truth needed to come out at some point. I think we were always driving towards that, once Haley went into the Program. I never thought that it would end like this. I thought that she would come home and we could start to build an extended family of sorts." She blinked a few times, trying to stop herself from crying, but it was a losing battle. Instead, she looked down into Catherine's face and stroked her cheek as she allowed the tears to flow silently.

"I think that I would have liked to see that, Erin. You were a good friend to her and Jessica over the years, something I didn't think possible."

"I didn't think so, either, honestly, given how things started between us all. But the years were kind, and the love we have for our children helped to soften those jagged edges between us. Please, if nothing else comes out of this hell, can we keep that up? Can I still be friends with Jessica? I feel like we've all lost so much today, that I don't want to lose any more."

"I think that we can arrange that between us all." Aaron reached out and rested his hand on her shoulder, causing Erin to look over at him and she saw that he was trying to keep from crying himself. There were so many cuts and bruises showing up on his skin already, and she let out a soft sound of sorrow and grief as she realized that she couldn't reach out to comfort him as well. Not with her shoulder immobilized and Catherine being in her good arm. "She's larger than Elise was."

"Catherine was an easier pregnancy than Elise's was. Up until the end that is. From the sound of things, she wasn't even in the NICU, not like Elise was. How are you physically doing?"

Aaron shrugged a little as he scooted the chair even closer to her side, focusing on Catherine as he took a few moments to think. "I refused the pain killers they offered me in the ER after they reset my broken nose. Surprisingly, he didn't damage it as badly as he could have, so thank God for small blessings. I'll have new scars on my back, since we crashed into a lot of glass in the house. And I don't want to scare Jack and Elise, but my hands are pretty bandaged up right now. I didn't realise that teeth could cut you quite so badly until the nurses were cleaning those wounds and they stung from the alcohol used."

She nodded as she let out a deep sigh. "Thankfully, I was out of it when they operated on my wound. And I don't think that I'll be able to take strong painkillers, since I want to breastfeed Catherine, like I did Elise."

"Do you think that I could hold her?"

"Of course. You didn't have the opportunity to hold Elise when she was this small, so yes. You'll have to pick her up, since I don't think that I can hand her over." Aaron gave her a small smile as he leaned over and carefully transferred Catherine into his arms. Erin sighed when Catherine let out a tiny little cry before snuggling into Aaron's chest. "Is it possible to fall in love with your baby in seconds? Because the moment that David gave her to me, I just knew that she was the perfect last child for my family. I know that David is happy she has blonde hair, like me, but I was hoping that she'd have dark hair, so that Elise wouldn't be the only brunette in the family."

"Her hair could darken. Mine was light, like Shawn's, when I was born, only for me to end up like this."

She laughed a little as she nodded. "That might be nice, yes. Oh, god, Aaron, I hope that what happened to me didn't affect her too badly. I was so fucking stupid," she said, her voice cracking on the last words.

"You were placed in a position that you shouldn't have been. Foyet knew how to manipulate people and get them to do what he wanted. He paralysed people with fear, he did it to you, he did it to Haley, he did it to his previous victims." His eyes met hers once more, and that was when she noticed that he was quietly crying as he rubbed his thumb back and forth across Catherin's chest. "You expect your flight instinct to kick in, that you'll find the strength to do something, but it just doesn't happen sometimes."

Erin knew that he was thinking about when Foyet had stabbed him, and she nodded a little as she pressed her lips together in an effort to not full on sob. "If I had at least thought to grab my service weapon, perhaps I could have shot him before he injured anyone. All my training, all the hours I spend on the shooting range, it all meant nothing because I didn't have the right tools." She started to cry harder, which seemed to have an effect on Catherine, since she started to whimper and wriggle in Aaron's arms. "You're not David, you never will be, but can I ask you to do something for me, until he gets back here?"

"What is it, Erin?"

"Would you please hold me? I suddenly feel like I'm going to shatter, and with him not here, you're the closest thing I have to a friendly face, even though we're…"

"It's water under the bridge at this point, Erin. You were there for Haley when she died, you tried to protect them all and nearly died as a result. And yes, I will let you rest against me as we wait for Dave to get back here with things for you and Catherine."

"Thank you," she murmured as she scooted over to the opposite side of the bed as best she could, hissing in pain when she jostled her injured arm. Gently, he took a seat next to her before handing Catherine back to Erin so that she could cuddle her baby close to her chest as Aaron carefully settled his arm around her shoulders, allowing her to drop her head onto his chest as she started to sob once more, Aaron soon joining her in her sorrow as they held each other and tried to start to heal from their shared trauma.


	108. Chapter 108

The day was much too nice to hold a funeral, Erin thought as David helped her out of their car, taking care not to jostle her bad arm as they went inside the church. It seemed like everyone else was already there, and she clutched at Elise's shoulder as they approached Aaron, trying to ignore the pointed stares from Alpha. The only one who spared a kind look for her was Penelope, and that was quickly blinked away when Mister Lynch whispered something in her ear before leading her away from Aaron's side. "I'm sorry that we're late. It took longer than I thought it would to get ready, as my arm ached today."

"You're fine, Erin. Thank you for coming."

"I pushed my doctor to be allowed out yesterday, so that I could prepare for today. Where's Jack?"

"With Jessica and his grandparents. Sean, will you take Elise in the family room? I know that Jack was asking when she'd get here."

Erin looked over at a handsome younger man, and knew that this was the brother that Aaron thought Elise looked like. Now that she was finally seeing what he looked like, she could see the familial resemblance, and she gave Sean a small smile before allowing Elise to step forward and take hold of his hand, watching them disappear down a long hall at the end of the church. "She'll probably want to sit with Jack for the service."

"That's fine, I'll have Jess sit next to her, just in case they start acting up. The immediate family will be in the front pew, you'll be behind us. I forgot to ask last night if you would mind riding in the limo with us over to the cemetery. Dave's a pallbearer, and I know that you'll need help with Elise and getting in and out of vehicles."

"That would be lovely, Aaron, thank you." She gave him a small smile as she took hold of David's hand and allowed him to guide her over the table of flowers. "Did you think to send something from us? I wanted to honor her memory, but everything was so clouded in my mind yesterday. I know that we wanted to get everything taken care of as quickly as possible, but I still feel left behind," she murmured as she rested her head on her fiancé's chest.

"I did, _stellina_. However, it won't be here, as it's a tree planted in her memory at Jack's favorite park. Cut flowers, while lovely for a time, still fade away, and so I thought that something that will grow and live beyond our time here. It will make her memory a blessing, and I think that's what she would have wanted."

"I love you," she murmured as she looked at the other bouquets present. So many were effusive, almost over the top, but she found herself drawn to one that was almost hidden amongst the overblown displays of beauty. Leaning in, she was surprised to read that the tag marked it as coming from Penelope. She had expected the woman to send something brash and loud, but the fact that she had gone against the grain made Erin's heart lurch a little. Stepping closer to David, they made their way along the picture displays, and she started to cry a little when she saw that Aaron had included one of the pictures of her and Haley together with their children. Jessica had taken the picture shortly before it had become necessary for Haley to go into WitSec, and the sight of it poked at the wounds on her heart. Turning into David's chest, she tried to draw in a few long breaths in order to keep from sobbing, knowing that she'd be doing enough of that once the service started.

"We're going to be meeting in the family room here, Erin. Jessica requested that you join us." She looked up at Aaron and saw that his eyes were wet with unshed tears, and she nodded as she stepped away from David to get closer to him, allowing him to pull her into a careful hug. "I am so glad that you're still here. Where's Catherine?"

"Helen and her wife are watching her today. I expressed as much milk as I could before we left, which is partly why we were running late." Aaron nodded as he held her close. "You're going to make me cry, and then the others will dislike me even more."

"They're just in shock still, over the truth coming out. It would have been better if we could have done it on our own terms, but Foyet…"

"Was a bastard who reveled in destroying people, and I'm sorry that he chose you to focus on. Let me go so that David can lead me down the hall behind you. We don't want to start any more rumors today." He nodded as he stepped away from her, which allowed David to come up to her side and take hold of her hand. She sighed a little as their fingers entwined, and then they were following him down the hall and into a large room where all the family was gathered. Erin was surprised not to see Aaron's mother there, since she knew that the woman was still alive, but she also knew from what David had said that there was a bit of bad blood there.

"Mommy! Aunt Jessica said I get to sit next to Jack," Elise cried out as she ran over to their sides and hugged her legs tightly. She nodded as she stroked her daughter's hair a bit before drifting over to Jessica's side, since she was the only one that she knew well. A few moments later, the pastor entered the room and caught their attention. Erin gave Jessica a shaky smile when the woman slid her arm around her waist, holding her close as the man explained how the service would go before letting them know that Aaron would be the one to conduct the graveside service, since he had another service to attend to.

"And now, let us gather in a circle for prayer."

David joined her by Jessica's side, resting his hand lightly on her injured shoulder as they bowed their head in prayer. It was a sweet prayer, and because of her hormones being off kilter still, she started crying quietly, accepting the tissue that Jessica handed to her and dabbing at her eyes as the prayer finished. "Are you doing all right?" David whispered, and she nodded a little. "You're missing Catherine, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I know that she shouldn't be here, not when she's so small. It was a miracle that she was allowed to leave the hospital before I was."

Jessica rubbed her back gently before giving her a small smile. "I have to go now, but we'll catch up at the meal following the graveside service."

"Of course, Jessica," she whispered, watching as the family filed out behind the pastor. Elise gave her one last hug before running over to Jessica's side and clutching at her hand, giving Erin and David a brilliant smile before turning around and following Aaron and Jack. "I don't know if I can do that, David."

"You can, and I will be right by your side through it all. We will support Aaron as best we can, and become the family that we perhaps should have been from the beginning." Erin nodded as she leaned heavily on David, allowing him to guide her out of the room and after the others.


	109. Chapter 109

The service had been quite long, with numerous people getting up to speak about how they knew Haley and how much she had meant to them. At some point, she had started to silently cry, and Aaron passed back a soft linen handkerchief without looking, as if he knew her well enough to know that she would, of course, be crying. After drying her eyes, Erin worried the cloth between her fingers, needing something to do with her hands as she listened to the pastor give his sermon on Haley's life and how her love for Jack and Elise had been self-sacrificing. The mention of her daughter caused her to choke on a sob, and David curled his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his chest as she tried to keep from making a spectacle of herself.

Finally, though, the organist began to play an elegant recessional as David and the other pallbearers left their seats to take their positions along the sides of Haley's casket, and Erin pressed her lips together tightly in order not to cry louder. Attendants from the funeral home directed each row of pews to stand and follow after the family, and Erin longed for someone, anyone, from Alpha to spare her a kind look or word, but even Penelope seemed preoccupied with her own grief. Drawing in a deep breath, Erin straightened her shoulders and followed after the family out the door. A slight shudder ran down her spine as she watched David and the others prepare to place the casket into the hearse, and she turned to look at the person who had touched her back, seeing that Jessica had come up to her side and was giving her a sad smile. "Aaron wanted to know if you were ready to join us in the limousine?"

"I am, thank you." Erin tried to ignore the hiss of disapproval that came from either Emily or Jennifer as she allowed Jessica to guide her to where Aaron was waiting by the open door.

"I'll try to be gentle," he murmured as he helped her to stoop and slide into the vehicle. Thankfully, since they were the last three to get in, she didn't have to awkwardly clamber in very far, instead, knocking into Aaron as she took her place on the short bench that faced forward. Jessica slid in next to her before closing the door, and then they were under way. To her immense relief, everyone was quiet on the drive to the cemetery, since she didn't think that she would have anything to say. Jessica rested her head against Erin's as the drive went on. "You're with us," Jessica whispered as the limousine finally came to a stop.

Giving her a little nod, she watched as Jessica slipped out of the door as soon as it was opened, and then she carefully climbed out, taking hold of Jessica's outstretched hand as they waited for the others to get out. Jack and Elise held tightly to Aaron's hands as they all began to troop over to the open grave, and she found it difficult to not trip on the uneven earth, since her center of balance was thrown off by her wounded arm. Once in place, though, she accepted the white rose handed to her by one of the funerary attendants. Holding it close to her chest with her bad arm, Erin took hold of Jessica's hand once more as David came up to their side and picked up Elise, letting her snuggle close to his chest as everyone gathered around. Erin darted her eyes over to look at Penelope, seeing that she was looking at her as well, a small, sad, smile on her lips.

It seemed as if the sun would drive out the lingering cold that had seeped into her bones, but she still shivered a little when a cloud passed across the sun, stepping closer to David as she tried to control her tears. Especially since it seemed like Penelope's would be the only friendly face she saw from Alpha that afternoon. Soon, Aaron was clearing his throat and nudging Jack over to Jessica's side as he turned to face the crowd gathered. It was difficult to concentrate on Aaron's words, since she was missing Catherine and her arm was throbbing with pain, a pain she couldn't medicate because she was insistent on breastfeeding her infant, and the pain killers would interfere with her milk supply. David seemed to understand her that she was struggling, since he shifted Elise to his other hip so that he could wrap his arm around her waist in order to support her a little better.

Jessica gently touched her shoulder when Aaron had finished speaking, and she gave her a grateful smile as together they stepped forward to place their roses atop Haley's casket before stepping back to watch the others pay their final respects. "Do you want to head back to the limo now? You're weaving on your feet a little, and I would hate for you to faint," Jessica murmured kindly, and she nodded, giving her a grateful look before turning to David and leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"I'll see you at the hall?" she asked, knowing that he would most likely catch a ride back to the church before bringing their car to the venue for the supper.

"Of course. Here, take Elise with you." He handed Elise over to Jessica before jogging over to Derek's side, quickly falling into a conversation with him and Doctor Reid. A small frown marred her face before she turned to follow Jessica back to the waiting vehicle, finding the other members of Haley's family, along with Sean, already inside and waiting.

"Aaron will be along shortly with Jack, but I thought that we should give them a little time alone together. This is a hard day for all of us." Jessica's words were warm, but full of sorrow, and Erin nodded as she allowed herself to cry once more, feeling like she was finally free to do so, away from the prying eyes of her main team. "Hey, Erin, how's your arm feeling?" she asked as she allowed Elise to scramble over to Sean's side and crawl up into his lap. Erin shrugged with her good arm before letting out a long breath as she tried to find the right words.

"It's a pain I have to live with. I can't take any pain medication until after I've pumped for the evening, so that David can give Catherine a bottle when she wakes up hungry. Even then, I've asked that it be nothing stronger than Tylenol 4, since I don't want to accidentally affect Catherine. Not when she was so early."

"Who's looking out for your baby?"

She looked over at Mister Brooks and gave him a small smile. "My assistant, Helen, and her wife. They were very kind to agree to look after her while I was here today. I fought too hard to be released from the hospital in order to honor Haley's life to not be here." Haley's father had a gruff smile on his lips as he nodded in acknowledgement of her statement.

"It makes sense that Haley would be friends with you, since you have a strong personality, like she had." He looked like he wanted to say more, but had thought better of it after a short glance at Sean. Erin nodded before letting her head come to rest against the back of the seat, trying to breathe her way through a wave of pain as they waited for Aaron and Jack to appear so that they could head to the meal.


	110. Chapter 110

"You just take a seat next to Dad, Erin, and I'll see about getting plates of food for us all," Jessica said as she guided Erin over to the table reserved for family. Jack and Elise hurriedly sandwiched her between them, so that Jack was sitting next to his grandfather, and Erin gave him a small smile before turning her focus on her daughter.

"Thank you for being so good today during the service. Mommy really appreciates that."

Elise gave her a wide smile before wriggling in her chair in an effort to get closer to Erin. It was easy to wrap an arm around Elise's shoulders as she kissed her forehead gently. "The music was really pretty, Mommy. But when are we going to be able to see Aunt Haley again?"

She stiffened, wondering how she would explain to Elise that Haley was never returning. "Daddy told me that Mommy is in a better place now, and one day, we'll see her again, but that it will be a long time, because I'm so young. Since we're the same age, it will be a long time for you, too. But at least we have each other?"

Erin teared up at Jack's little speech, and she gave her daughter a small nod before swiping at her cheeks, not wanting to co-opt a sorrow that she felt like she had no rights to. Mister Brooks caught her eye, giving her a knowing look as he shook his head a little. "We're all entitled to our grief, Erin. I know that Haley loved your friendship." Mrs. Brooks nodded in agreement as she swiped at her own eyes in order to clear her tears.

"That's so nice to hear," she murmured as she looked over at the table where most of Alpha team was gathered. Emily glanced up from her plate to send a little glare her way, and she fought to keep from acknowledging the look. From the corner of her eye, she saw that David was leading Aaron outside, which made sense, since they were close friends, and hopefully her fiancé would be able to get him to open up a little, as she was extremely worried about him.

"I tried to get a little of everything, Erin. I didn't know what you'd like."

Looking up, she saw that Jessica and Agent Anderson were standing there, plates in hand, and she gave her a small nod as Jessica set a plate down in front of her before taking the ones from Anderson's hands and placing them in front of Jack and Elise. "Thank you, Agent Anderson," she whispered when he pulled out utensils and napkins.

"You are most welcome, Chief Strauss." From the look on his face, she knew that he knew about Elise, and she pursed her lips together a little, knowing that the news would be around the entire building before she could return to work the next day. "Don't look like that. There are a few of us trying to keep a lid on certain rumors that might be flying around the office." Giving her a small wink, he went over to Agent Sharpe's side, slipping his arm around her waist in a familiar gesture as they went over to the food tables. A part of her knew that she should probably quash that, but she was loathe to end any spot of happiness in the face of the tragedy that they were facing that day.

"I didn't know if you wanted anything to drink."

She shook her head a little. "If I'm thirsty later, I can get myself something." Jessica nodded as her parents got to their feet in order to get food. "They didn't have to babysit me."

Jessica actually giggled at the testy tone in her voice before reaching across Elise to pat Erin's hand lightly. "It's how we take care of each other. Mama isn't handling this well, either, so having someone to look after is good for her, and for Dad."

"I see," she whispered as she started to eat, feeling like she wasn't really hungry, but knowing that she needed to remain strong and healthy for Elise and Catherine. Erin was about to ask Jessica if she wanted to come over after the meal, in order to talk some more, to keep her company, when her work phone jangled harshly, interrupting her train of thought. "I am so sorry. Can you make certain that Elise doesn't spill? Hopefully this is a quick call," she muttered as she pulled the phone out of her purse and got to her feet, heading for the bathroom, since she knew that it would be a bit quieter there. "Hello?"

"Erin, I know that you're probably still with Alpha at Haley's wake, but we've caught a particularly nasty case in Nashville that will need Alpha's immediate attention."

"They'll hate me even more than they do right now if I send them away from here, before they've had time to appropriately grieve with their leader. And Aaron can't leave his family."

"Of course not, he's on bereavement until after we've held the inquest into what exactly happened the day you were shot and his wife was murdered. And you have to prepare for leading that inquest."

"I'm sorry?"

Director Shepperd cleared his throat before speaking once more. "I need you to do that, because I don't want to see Alpha cannibalized into different departments. You'll be impartial to the matter, because of the renewed rumours and gossip surrounding the parentage of your fourth child. Isn't that right?"

She knew what he was driving at, and let out a long huff of breath as she nodded. "Yes, I suppose that you have a point there. Any other news that I should be made aware of?"

"We're offering both you and Aaron the option for early retirement, after what you both went through. You'll need to discuss that with him at some point before the inquest, since that will have some bearing on how that will proceed. I'm forwarding the data for the case in Nashville to your phone while you make the call to Agent Morgan, since he is still the de facto leader of the group. And should Agent Hotchner choose not to return, that can be made permanent."

"Oh."

"You don't like that idea?"

She wanted to say no, but knew that she needed to appear to be playing ball with her boss. "It will be a difficult adjustment, that's all. I would prefer David to take over as leader, should Aaron decide not to return."

The Director laughed a little, and Erin frowned at that sound. "That would be too large an etiquette breach, Erin. It was difficult enough to get the committee to look the other way for your current arrangement, but I went to bat for having Dave back as a part of the team. Now, make that call. And Erin?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. She didn't deserve that ending. None of you did."

"Thank you, sir," she whispered before ending the call with him. Taking a few deep breaths, she remained in the bathroom while scrolling through her recent calls, pausing when she saw Agent Morgan's name stare up at her accusingly. "Please, Lord, let this go well." Touching his name, she brought the phone to her ear and waited for him to pick up.

"Morgan here."

"Agent Morgan, I have just been informed by the Director that you and the team are needed in Nashville tonight. I will be forwarding the case information to you once we've finished speaking."

"No."

"I'm sorry, I don't have any control over this, since the Director informed me directly. You're needed, and you will go. There's no one else. Believe me, I would much rather have my fiancé at home, by my side, tonight. I don't have enough energy to argue with you right now. Please, just go."

"Fine," he bit out before ending the call and she slumped her shoulders in relief before splashing a little cool water on her face before heading back to the table.

Taking a seat, she looked at the food on her plate and burst into tears, finding her appetite gone. "Erin?"

"I had to send the team out on a case in Nashville. They'll hate me more, and I'll be alone tonight. Alan has our children because he thought that would be better for my recovery. We all forgot that unsubs don't care about what happens to us."

Jessica shook her head a little before getting to her feet and coming to her side, wrapping Erin in a soft hug. "You won't be alone. I don't think that I could go home tonight, anyway."

"I couldn't ask that of you."

"You didn't, I insisted. Besides, I need to be with a good friend tonight, taking care of her and her babies." Tears glistened in Jessica's eyes as she pulled away to look at Erin, and she nodded, knowing that there would be no arguing with her, and she found that she didn't really want to anyway.

"All right," she softly agreed as she watched the team leave in a hurry, not sparing her a second glance. Moments later, Aaron and David came over to their table, and she gave her fiancé a tremulous smile as he leaned down to kiss her softly. "Jess is going to take care of me tonight, so you don't have to worry. But please, oh please, David."

"I know, _stellina_ , and I will. I love you." She nodded as they kissed once more, and then she pushed him away, knowing that time was of the essence for them on this case and she needed to focus on the three difficult tasks in front of her, wondering what her answers would be.


	111. Chapter 111

Erin's arm still ached, but she had forgone the sling, since she found it so limiting to her movements. David wouldn't be happy with her when he found out what she was doing, but she knew that it had to be done, since she didn't have time to get everything accomplished that she needed to get done before the inquest was held. Drawing in a deep breath, she raised her good arm and knocked out a pattern on Aaron's door before adjusting the sling the held Catherine and then taking hold of Elise's hand as she waited for the door to open.

"Erin, thank you for coming here. I know, I should have come to your house, but I just couldn't get Jack moving this morning."

"I get it, I had a difficult time getting Elise out the door. She misses her Papa, and doesn't quite understand everything that's happening."

He nodded as he guided her over to the sofa, taking Catherine from her arm so that she could take a seat, while Elise went over to where Jack was playing at the table. "Hi, Aunt Erin!"

"Hello, Jack. It's good to see you today."

"Uh huh," he answered absently as he and Elise began to play. She gave Aaron a small, relieved, smile as she set her briefcase down on the coffee table in front of them.

"He crawled in with me last night, and I didn't have the heart to put him back in his own bed."

"Elise did the same with me, and it was difficult to find a spot to sleep in the bed after Catherine's middle of the night feeding." He gave her a sympathetic look, and Erin shrugged a little before wincing. "Don't ask, I slept on my bad arm wrong after feeding Catherine. I suppose that you know why I'm here today?"

"I have a small inkling. But why don't you explain it."

Erin fought to keep from rolling her eyes as she leaned forward and opened her briefcase, slipping out the folder that contained the offer for his retirement package. They had both been offered quite generous packages, and she assumed that the extra was to compensate for what had happened to them in the course of their job, but still it had been more than she was expecting. "I know that we still have to get through the inquest, but this might change the direction of things, depending on your answer. And for full disclosure, I have been offered a similar, just as generous, package."

"They want me to retire."

"The Director feels that what we when through was such that we don't need to return to work, should we decide that there's just too much trauma to return to our jobs."

He took the folder from her hands and began to scan the documents, his eyes widening a little as he reached the part the said what the financial compensation would be. "This is a lot of money."

"You lost your wife to an unsub that we failed to catch before he hurt her."

"And you."

Erin pursed her lips a little as she looked away from him, not wanting to start crying again that morning. "I was collateral damage."

"Dave wouldn't view it that way. He loves you, and the little family that you've created."

That caused her to snap her head over to look at him, seeing that he was giving her a tender look. "And I love the family that we've created together, too. And the fact that we're growing it. Jessica has been an immense help to me, and I know that she's been dividing her time between our two households. I appreciate her so much."

Aaron nodded absently as he continued to look over the documents, and that was when she remembered that he had once been a prosecutor, which meant that he could parse some of the language contained there more efficiently than she could. "When would you like my answer, Erin?"

She had to blink a few times in order to hide her expression of confusion before she drew in a deep breath. "I thought that I would be leaving with one, honestly. What's holding you back?"

Erin wanted to hear his answer, since she knew that her own decision would be affected by his. She was waffling in her decision, not knowing if she should return. A part of her would miss Helen dearly, since she had come to think of her more as a friend than an assistant over the years since Elise had been born. "I don't want to rush into anything that I might regret. I have to think about Jack's future, along with what makes me happy. I know that you understand that delicate balance."

She nodded. "I understand. That's why I'm wrestling with my decision as well. It would be nice to stay home and raise Catherine, but I wouldn't be satisfied. I was hoping that you would have a fast, easy, decision, so that my own would be made easier."

"Have you talked this over with Dave yet?" She shook her head. "Well, that might be a good place to start."

"He'll just tell me to make the decision that my heart is telling me to do. There's just one small problem with that, which is the fact that my body is trying to get the hormone regulation back in balance, so the decisions I might make are not the most balanced. Which was why I was hoping that you would have a snap decision."

"Stay."

She was taken a bit aback by that small word, and she cocked her head to one side as she looked at him, still cradling Catherine with one arm as he read through the papers. "I'm sorry?"

"Look, despite the fact that you can be a complete bitch at work, I get why you are the way you are. You need to be in control and show that you're fair and impartial. Those are the leadership qualities that your teams need in a section chief, especially right now. What's happened to our team, what's happened to us, means that we're going to need strong leadership in the coming weeks and months. So, I say stay." She nodded as she settled back in the sofa, her eyes closing heavily. "Look, you're clearly exhausted, and I don't blame you, you shouldn't even be out of the hospital. Go into my room and sleep, Jessica is coming by in a few hours to have lunch with us, and two extra people at the table won't be that much of a hardship. If Catherine fusses, I'll wake you up, but I know my way around a baby."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. I wouldn't let you drive home like this." Aaron rose to his feet and held out his hand, which she gratefully accepted, leveraging herself to her feet. "And give me your cellphone. I won't answer it, but it shouldn't be in the same room as you, as you need to rest without interruption."

She nodded a little as she followed him down the hall to his room. "If Leelee starts fussing, she's probably overtired, so a nap might be in order for her, too. Catherine is a potato until she gets hungry." He gave her a small smile as he opened the bedroom door, and she stumbled over to the bed, stepping out of her shoes before slipping beneath the covers as her head heavily hit the pillow. "And if David calls, please answer. He worries when I don't answer him, and after what happened, I know that will be even worse." Aaron gave her a small nod as her eyes closed once more, easily falling into a deep sleep, knowing that she was somewhere safe.


	112. Chapter 112

Erin let out a tired sigh as she rubbed her shoulder absently. Her colleague next to her gave her a concerned look, but she shook her head as she gestured for Agent Anderson to call the next interviewee in. She knew that it would be Agent Prentiss, and she was dreading that, knowing that the woman would be completely hostile towards her. She tried to keep her focus and not let the passive aggression that was wafting off Agent Prentiss in thick waves affect her, but it was still difficult to get the answers that she wanted from the woman. A part of Erin knew that she was coming across more and more like the Ice Queen everyone said that she was, and that Agent Prentiss was definitely viewing her as trying to railroad her into the answers that Erin wanted.

Finally, they finished up their little tete-a-tete, and Erin gestured for her to leave. "We're going to get coffee while you interview Agent Rossi, Erin. Would you like us to get you anything?"

She looked up at Ron and nodded. "I would appreciate if you could bring back something with little to no caffeine, and a croissant with butter." He smiled and nodded before patting her good shoulder softly as he followed Angela out of the room. Moments later, David strode in, looking as pissed off at the whole circus as she felt. "Please, take a seat," she said a bit sarcastically when he plopped down in the chair across the table from her. After clearing her throat, she turned on the recorder, knowing that she would need something to prove that she had been impartial towards her fiancé.

David was doing his level best to ignore her, scrolling through something on his phone as she drummed her fingertips on the table. "David!" she finally snapped, and he glanced up at her before looking back down at his phone. "Please."

"Stocks are up, Erin. Now might be the time to invest in them for our children's futures."

Rolling her eyes a little, she slapped her palm against the recorder, turning it off before she leaned across the table and glared at him. "David Stephen Rossi, what the hell do you think you're playing at?" she hissed, feeling her heart start to thunder in her chest. Weaving in her chair a little, she took a few deep breaths as she tried to find her equilibrium once more.

David glanced up at her, a bland look on his face, and she had to fight the urge to get up and head over to his side to smack the smirk off his lips. "What is this, Erin? We both know it's a farce, at best."

"It is the only way that the Director and I can ensure that your team is kept together. This was all over the news, and you know that bad press is especially bad for us. The only reason that we're doing this is to make certain that Aaron and I stay with the BAU."

That truly caught his attention, and he slipped the phone back into his pocket as he looked at her in concern. "What are you talking about?"

"We were both offered retirement packages, because of what we went through. While you were in Nashville, I was tasked with offering that to Aaron, and over the course of the day, we both came to the conclusion that our places are here, with the Bureau, putting away the evil bastards who try to hurt others, like Foyet did. There should be no family that was destroyed like ours was when Haley was murdered, and so we're staying where we are. Now, if you'd care to continue with this interview, I want to start moving on."

Tears burned in her eyes, and David nodded as he slowly rose to his feet and came around to her side, gathering her up in his arms as she struggled to keep from crying. A part of her knew that if she lost her cool in that moment, the rest of the interviews would be that much more difficult to conduct, so Erin took a few deep breaths, drawing in the scent of his aftershave as she tried to get control of her emotions. "I didn't know, _stellina_. I'm sorry for acting like an ass."

"Haley was your friend, too, so it makes sense that you would feel the way you do. Please, make my job today a little easier, and be the friendly face that I so desperately need in this moment." He nodded before kissing the crown of her head gently and then taking his seat once more across from her. The rest of their interview ran smoothly, and she was just finishing up with him when Ron and Angela returned with her requested order.

The rest of the interviews passed by in a blur as she dutifully asked the questions that would get her the answers that she and the Director needed in order to ensure the survival of her team, and she drew in a sharp breath as she realized that it was finally time to talk with Aaron. He entered the room stoically, as if he knew that neither of them wanted to be there, and she nodded to his as she gestured for him to take a seat across from them, taking a deep breath as she set about asking him what happened that day, after she had been shot. He paused for a moment after describing how he had stumbled upon Haley's body, and she picked up the file that talked about Haley's death. "It looks like the first bullet severed her carotid artery, and from what the coroner writes, she, she didn't suffer."

Erin choked on those words, swallowing as she blinked rapidly, feeling like everything was spiraling out of control so quickly. Aaron met her eye steadily, giving her an almost imperceptible nod as she continued with the interview. "He would have killed Jack and Elise if I had not put him down. If I had given one inch, he would have found a way to kill me before hunting down our children."

Nodding, she turned off the recorder before looking at Ron and Angela. "I think that we're done here, and that we all know the outcome of this investigation. Thank you for your assistance," she said as she pushed away from the table and rose to her feet, shaking their hands in turn before watching them exit the room. Then she was alone with Aaron, and she let out a long breath of relief as she sat back down. Knowing that he wouldn't comment on her expressions, she allowed herself to finally cry, pressing her hand against her mouth as she closed her eyes. It had been such a long day, and now at the end of it, all she wanted to do was curl up with her babies and sleep the next few days away. To her surprise, she felt a warm hand come to rest on her shoulder, squeezing softly. Looking up, she saw Aaron next to her, and she bit her lip as her control failed completely, a harsh sob tearing from her throat as she looked away from him. Without saying a word, he pulled her into a tight embrace, and she could feel his chest shake a little with his own tears.

"I'm sorry, I know this is far from professional, Aaron."

"You nearly died because of me, I think that you're allowed to be a little unprofessional, Erin. I'll bring Dave home, since they're all in the conference room, looking after Jack while things wrapped up here."

"Good, we can all have supper together, since Jessica is watching the girls for us. She has been such a godsend."

"She has. All right. Head home, and we'll follow in about half an hour. I know that the team will want to decompress." She nodded, not saying a word when he kissed her temple gently, comforting her in their moment of shared sorrow. "And when you're ready, we'll talk." Again, she nodded and hugged him tighter for a moment, knowing that somehow they would get through this together.


	113. Chapter 113

Erin knew that she was burning the midnight oil, but she wasn't quite ready to head home yet. Jessica was watching the children, had offered to do so when Aaron had decided to return to work at the same time she had. A part of her knew that her doctor would be furious with the fact that she was not only working full time so soon, but also was pulling long hours. She just felt like she was going to crawl out of her skin is she sat at home, and she didn't feel much in the Christmas mood, so had let the decorating slip her by, even as her older children had at least put up a tree and did a little bit of cheering up the house. Erin appreciated the effort, but she knew that she was basically phoning the holiday in at this point.

Sighing, she looked at her watch and realized that the team was most likely not going to be home that evening, and she pushed away from her desk with her good arm before looking at what work she still had left to do. Shaking her head, Erin decided to just leave it all for the next day, knowing that she would need something to keep her occupied the next day. Trudging over to the tree coat, she pulled off her coat and roughly managed to get into it before she slung her purse over her shoulder and made her way out of her office, locking the door behind her. Rather than wait for the elevator, Erin went over to the stairwell and made her way down to the ground floor.

It was dark and cold when she stepped outside, and Erin shivered as a brisk wind cut through the layers of her clothes to chill her to the bone. Gathering her coat closer to her chest, Erin scurried over to their car and let herself in, turning it on before cranking the heat up as high as it would go and sitting there as she willed warm air to fill the vehicle while she pulled out her phone to see if she had any messages before she carefully made her way home. Seeing nothing there that couldn't wait, Erin set the device in the center console before beginning her drive. By the time she parked in the garage, her arm was aching, and she stumbled into the house with a yawn.

"Oh, good, you're home just in time to feed Catherine," Jessica said as she padded into the kitchen with the baby cradled in her arms. Catherine was fussing, which told Erin that she was hungry, and she gave Jessica a tired smile as she nodded, slipping out of her coat and hanging it on the hook before following Jessica into the living room and lowering herself into her favorite chair as she awkwardly started to unbutton her blouse in order to feed her daughter. "You look exhausted. Are you certain that you have to go in to work tomorrow?"

"Yes. If I stay home…" Her voice trailed off as she took Catherine from Jessica's arms and brought her to her breast, smiling sadly down into her face as she started to suckle. "I need to stay busy."

Jessica clucked her tongue a little as she shook her head. "You sound too much like Aaron when you say that," she said as she stroked Erin's head lightly. "I'm going to make us some hot chocolate and then I have something to ask you."

Erin nodded absently as she gently rocked Catherine in her arms, finding a peace there that had been sorely missing during her workday. She was just switching which side Catherine was feeding from when Jessica returned with mugs for them, and Erin gratefully accepted her, sipping at it carefully as her stomach growled loudly. "Before you ask, no, I didn't eat supper. I lost track of time, and don't want to press my luck eating this late."

"At least let me get you a snack. You'll be no good for your family if you waste away."

"I suppose," she murmured as she took another sip of her drink as Jessica placed her mug on the coffee table before leaving the room once more. Moments later, she returned with a plate of cookies, which looked freshly baked, and Erin gave her a questioning look as she picked up a molasses one and nibbled at it as Jessica plopped down into the chair next to Erin. "Did you make these all today?"

"Jack and Elise wanted to bake, since we haven't really done anything to celebrate the season, and they're too little to understand that our hearts aren't in it this year. I hate to disappoint them, you know?" Erin nodded as she took another bite of cookie. "Well, I see that you've tried to get into the spirit, but this isn't like normal, and it shouldn't be. We need to remember Haley and her life, even as we want to celebrate a joyous time of year. Mom and Dad want to know if you'll celebrate Christmas with us."

"Just me?"

Jessica smiled as she shook her head. "No, your whole family. I don't know if your ex will have your older kids for Christmas Day, I'm hoping not, since we'd love to have all of them there. Dad thinks that we all need to pull together as a family, and I agree with him. Catherine helps a lot, too, since she's the hope of new life." Jessica tightly pursed her lips as she drew in a long breath through her nostrils, clearly close to tears. "And I know that you'll have to talk it over with Dave, but Mom and Dad know that Elise is Jack's sister, and family is so important to us, so they just want to have a huge gathering. It will mean you get to know my brother a little better, and there will be the other littles for Jack and Elise to play with. Please?"

Erin nodded through her tears as she adjusted Catherine onto her shoulder, burping her lightly until she fell asleep there. "I would love that, honestly. I don't feel like seeing my parents, they're just going to hover and make everything difficult, much though I love them. And David's sisters would just do the same. I think that you and your family would be the only ones who truly understand what I'm dealing with. But will Aaron be all right with that?"

"I think that he will be, Erin."

They both looked up in surprise to find David and Aaron standing in the doorway, both of them looking as exhausted as she felt. "Welcome home," she murmured softly as David came over to her side and gently picked Catherine up, cradling her close to his chest before he leaned down and kissed her softly. "So, you really don't mind seven extra people invading your family time for the holiday?"

"Elise makes us family, Erin," he quietly replied as he glanced at Jessica. "And I think that we all need to start healing from the scars that mar our past. And if we can start that this Christmas, as we all mourn Haley, then even better."

She nodded as she rose to her feet, wrapping her good arm around David's waist as she let her head come to rest against his chest. "Jack's asleep already, he was down before I got home, according to Jessica. We have the room, since the kids are still with Alan for another few days so that we can have them for the holidays this year, so why don't you two just spend the night? I'd hate to think of you getting into an accident because you driving while too tired."

"You don't have to ask me twice, Erin," Jessica replied with a soft smile. "I'll just grab my bag out of my car." Erin nodded as she watched her leave the room before she pulled away from her fiancé and looked up into his eyes.

"I'm heading up to sleep now, David. Please turn out all the lights when you join me." Leaning up, she kissed him tenderly before kissing Catherine's head and then making her way over to the stairs, sparing a smile for Aaron as she passed by him, an odd sort of happiness washing over her as she thought about the family they were building out of the ashes of their past.


	114. Chapter 114

Though she hadn't expected it, there was a light dusting of snow falling from the sky, which just made it seem all the more like Christmas to Erin. She cradled Catherine closer to her chest as she stared out at yard, watching Elise play with Jack and his cousins. It was amazing how well her daughter had slipped in with the rest of the family, though she shouldn't have been that surprised, since they had been so welcoming at Haley's funeral. There was an air of sadness that clung to all the adults, though, as they recognized the fact that Haley wasn't with them any longer, that this first holiday without her was steeped in sorrow.

She jumped a little before tensing slightly as a large hand spread out on her back. Glancing up, she saw that Aaron had come over to the window to join her, the saddest smile she had ever seen gracing his lips. "Thank you again, for letting us join you. I think that this has been so good for Elise."

"It's been good for all of us, Erin," he said quietly as he looked down into Catherine's sleeping face. "How is she doing?"

"She's growing faster than Elise did, and she appears to be perfect. For all the drama that surrounded her birth, it's like God gave us the miracle of a perfect, quiet, baby. She's alert, too, like Elise was, drinking everything in, but there are times when I think that she's judging me already. Which would not really surprise me, since I am her mother."

Aaron let out a low chuckle as his hand slid down her back to rest on her waist, his thumb rubbing absently as they watched their children. "Jessica and Kayla are glad to have your older daughters helping them in the kitchen this year, too."

"Yes, well, if we were bringing seven extra mouths to feed, I knew that they had to help out a little, to earn our keep, so to speak. I would have been in there too, but Kayla shooed me out here."

"She did the same thing to Haley when Jack was first born. She knows just how exhausting it can be to be new mother at this time of year. And I think that food will be ready soon, since we normally eat around two."

"Just what are you two talking about over here?"

Erin glanced over at David, giving him a small smile as she shrugged. "Just talking about Christmases past. And how we're glad to be together this year." David nodded as he rested his hand on Erin's bad shoulder, his thumb absently running against the seam of her sweater as he joined them in watching the children. "Did you remember the presents? I was a little out of it this morning when we loaded the car."

"Yes, I remembered the presents, _stellina_. I loaded them last night in the trunk, and Bruce and Roy helped me bring the bags in to put beneath the tree. You've had so much on your mind that I wanted to make this as easy on you as possible. We all did."

She nodded, feeling tears start to clog her throat as she stepped closer to him, resting her head on his chest as she took a few deep breaths. "I still wish that I had been smarter?"

"Erin," both men said in tandem, and she pursed her lips as she struggled to keep from bursting into tears. She didn't want to ruin the holiday festivities for everyone by acting histrionic, and she felt perilously close to that being true.

"Here, let me take Catherine for a little while. Roy mentioned wanting to see the newest little bean." Aaron gave her a tender look, as if he just knew how close she was to breaking down in that moment. Nodding a little, she carefully shifted her daughter from her arms to his, sighing a little at the way that Aaron's hand instantly cradled Catherine's head, cradling her close to his chest as he left their sides to head into the living room to be with the rest of the family.

"I didn't think that this would overwhelm me as much as it is," she murmured as David wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. He hummed beneath his breath as his hand stroked her torso softly, trying to soothe her. "I just don't know if I'll ever truly be happy again. I feel like I'm putting on this great act for the children's sake, but there's still this cloud of gloom hanging over my head."

"Some of that is the hormones going haywire in your body."

"I know that, mister!" Rolling her eyes a little, she let out a weary breath. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Erin. You have survived something that few people have, along with Aaron. Our last child was born early as a result, so you have that added worry on top of things. Added into the hormone shifts that are occurring in your body, and it combines into the worst sort of situation that you might think of. Just know that we're here for you, all of us."

"I know, that's why I'm glad to be here. I, I need to find Jessica."

He nodded before pressing his lips against the crown of her head. "Of course. I love you."

Erin relaxed at the sound of those words, and she pursed her lips together as she drew in a deep breath. "I love you, too. You have no idea how much love there is in my heart for you right now." Turning, she looked up into his eyes, seeing that they were wet with unshed tears. "Go check in on the men, and see if Catherine is wrapping them around her little finger without even doing anything."

"Of course," he murmured as they parted ways, and she rolled her head around a little, trying to work out some of the stiffness there as she made her way into the kitchen.

The buzz of activity there was a balm to her heart, and she allowed a smile to spread across her face as she went over to the counter where Jessica stood, working on finishing up the dinner rolls. "Can I please help?" she murmured as she rested one hand on Jessica's forearm, needing the physical connection with her in that moment.

The younger woman glanced at her before nodding. "Mom, why don't you and the girls start setting the table for our meal? We've just these last few details to finish up, and I think that the two of us can get those done quick enough."

Kayla nodded before coming over to her side and rubbing her back softly. "Of course, Jessie. It's good to keep our hands busy."

Erin nodded as she rubbed her lips together, watching her daughters follow after Kayla into the dining room. Once they were alone in the kitchen, Jessica slipped her hands from the dough that she was working before wiping her hands off on a towel and looking into Erin's eyes, a softness in her expression that told Erin she was just as close to losing it as Erin was. "This is so much harder than I thought it would be."

"That's why I wanted to come find you. I am so close to losing it, Jess." In that moment, Jessica pulled her into a tight hug, taking care not to jostle her bad shoulder too much as they both released a choked sob as they embraced. "I keep trying to have this brave face at home, because my children need me to be strong. And I have to wear that at work because so few people know my heart and see me as this Ice Queen bitch who fucks with peoples' lives and gets them killed. I will always have Haley's blood on my hands."

"Oh, god, Erin, no. You were not responsible for her murder. That lies squarely on the shoulders of George Foyet. You can't shoulder that burden." Jessica pressed Erin's head down against her shoulder before starting to rub her back gently as they cried together. "I am so glad that I'm watching Jack and Elise, because now I know what to look out for when you come home. And just like I'm doing with Aaron, I'm going to do with you, and that is not allowing you to be shattered by a guilt that doesn't belong to you. I'm not saying we won't be full of grief for months to come, but we're not going to stop living just because some monster thought he could destroy us by taking away Haley. Okay?"

She nodded a little as she struggled to get control of her emotions as she pulled away from Jessica to look into her eyes, seeing the love that was shining there. "The most I can promise is that I'll try. But with you and David reminding me that everything will be all right with time, I think that that lesson will sink in a little quicker. Now, what else do we need to do to finish up here?" Jessica gave her a wobbly smile as she shook her head a little and began to direct Erin on what to do to help finish up the meal for them.


	115. Chapter 115

"You will make certain to look after him while you're out in the field, yes?"

David tilted his head as he gave Erin a tender smile. "He's been back for almost a month now, Erin. What's with all the concern?"

She shrugged a little as she stepped closer to him. Ever since Haley's murder, she had found it increasingly easier to be tactile with him at work, within reason, and this was one of those times. "There have been a few things that Jessica has mentioned that have made me worried. I can only imagine what he's going through, considering how much grief I feel at losing my friend. Please, just look after him. I remember how reckless he was after Jack and Haley went into protective custody, and now, he has to come home, for Jack. And for Elise."

David nodded as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly to his chest as he rubbed her back. "This is why I love you so, Erin. And yes, I will look after him in the field, but only so long as he doesn't recognize that for what it is." He pressed his lips against her temple before pulling away to look into her eyes. "And I'll be careful, too. Because I have so much to come home to."

"That's right, you do." Tilting her head up, Erin blinked a few times and let out a soft sigh as she reached up and caressed his face. David's smile widened into a little smirk before he lowered his face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Curling one arm around his neck, she held him in place as the kiss deepened, and it wasn't until she heard a familiar little cough that she sprang away from her fiancé, trying to control her breathing as she looked towards the door.

"I'm ready to head to the airfield, Dave," Aaron said, an almost smile on his lips as he looked between them. "But if you want to continue this…"

"He was just leaving, Aaron. Stay safe out there," she quickly replied as she stepped away from David's side, trying not to blush as she looked between them. Aaron nodded a little as he smiled at her, and she relaxed a little as she went to her desk and sat down, folding her hands on the desktop as she watched them. "If you can, call at Leelee's bedtime, so that you can tell her goodnight, David."

"I'll try, Erin. But I will definitely call you to wish you a good night," he said, smarm dripping from his voice. That was when her blush rose up in her cheek with a rush, and she frowned at her fiancé before gesturing towards the door with her finger. David chuckled as he nodded, making his way over to Aaron and clapping him on the shoulder as they turned and left her office. Shaking her head a little, Erin finished up the file that she was working on before pushing away from the desk once more and getting to her feet.

Grabbing her phone, Erin slipped it into her pocket before making her way out of her office, stopping in front of Helen's desk and waiting for her to look up from her computer. "Do you need something, Erin?" she asked offhandedly before tapping a few more strokes on her keyboard and then meeting Erin's gaze.

"I have to see Ms. Garcia about something, and it might take an hour or so. If you would please hold all my non-important calls, and take messages for things that are pressing? I'm not anticipating too much being pressing, since it's just after the new year, but heaven only knows with some of my colleagues."

Helen giggled as she nodded. "Some of them like to panic and make more work for us, yes. I'll text you if something truly important comes up that needs your immediate attention, otherwise I'll let them know that you'll be back in the office this afternoon. Take your time, head out for a long lunch, and try to relax a little."

Erin gave Helen a small smile as she nodded. "I might just take you up on that, Helen. Though I'll have to return and get my coat and purse." Taking a deep breath, she made her way down the hall and into the bullpen, grateful that no one looked up at her as she passed until she got to Agent Anderson's desk. The young man's head instantly snapped to attention, a warm smile spreading across his lips when their eyes met.

"Chief Strauss! How's your day going?"

"Pretty well, Agent Anderson. Yours?"

"Great, just great. Do you need anything?"

She knew that he was trying to be helpful, which tempered her reaction. "I'm headed up to see Ms. Garcia about something that I need assistance with. But thank you for asking." He nodded without losing his smile, and Erin couldn't help but return the expression as she climbed the stairs up to the second level of the bullpen, heading directly for Penelope's office and knocking firmly.

It didn't take long for Penelope to answer, and as the door swung open, Erin found herself trying not to tense up. She was still trying to sus out where she stood with the woman after Haley's murder. She had been a little cool towards Erin at the reception, but Erin had hoped that was just Penelope following the lead of the rest of the team. This would be the first time that they had spoken alone since that awful evening, and she braced herself for a bad reaction. Instead, a welcoming smile soon graced Penelope's face as she beckoned her inside. "Erin! What can I do for you?"

She closed the door behind her as she made her way over to the sofa, taking a seat as she watched Penelope copy her movements, sitting close to her as she looked at Erin expectantly. "Well, the cat is well and truly out of the bag regarding just who Elise's father is. What no one else on the team knows is that for the past few months, we've been forming a family. Jack and Elise don't know they're siblings yet, but we've been working hard to make that revelation easy on them when it happens." Penelope nodded as she reached out and took hold of Erin's hand, squeezing softly. "And, I suppose that the reason I'm here is that I need your help for a project that I started to think of after spending Christmas with the Brooks."

Penelope's eyes widened a little at that admission, and Erin wondered if she should have kept that to herself for a little while longer. "That's so nice that you were able to get together for the holidays. And I hope that Jessica is doing well."

"As well as can be expected. As we all are. Anyway, I want to make a photo book for Aaron, of all the best pictures that we have of Elise from the moment she was born until now. I just don't know how to go about making one up, and I know that you have excellent photoshop skills. Would you be able to help me pull something lovely together for Aaron?"

Penelope nodded enthusiastically, which set Erin's heart at ease, and then popped to her feet, tugging Erin along behind her as she went over to her desk and took a seat before beginning to tap away at her computer. "All right, do you want a large coffee table type book, or something that Hotch can carry with him?"

"I think something like a traditional photo album would be nice, only if you could pretty it up a little?"

"I can totally work with that! Do you have the pictures with you?"

"I have a few from my phone, but I didn't think to gather them without knowing for certain if you'd help me. Helen suggested that I take a long lunch today, so maybe I'll run home and gather up the best ones during that time?"

"That sounds wonderful, Erin. Just come right up here when you return, and I'll get to work with them. And don't worry, I'll make the best photo book for you and Hotch, and you'll have complete control of how it looks. If you don't like something, I can fix it before we get it printed and bound." Erin nodded as she relaxed even more, pleased that she had taken the chance to ask this favor from Penelope.


	116. Chapter 116

Erin frowned a little when she noticed the commotion in the bullpen. When David hadn't stopped in to tell her where the team was headed, she assumed that it was a local case, but that didn't account for the thrum of activity that seemed to fill the air. Shaking her head a little, she went inside and found a few unfamiliar faces there, visitor's badges clipped to their shirts, and Erin tried not to frown too deeply as she made her way up to Penelope's office, knowing that she would probably have the answers that Erin wanted.

Without knocking, Erin went inside, closing the door behind her softly just in case Penelope was on the phone. "Hey, Erin."

Swiveling around, she saw that Penelope was still tapping away at her keyboard, not looking at her. "How did you know it was me?"

Penelope finally turned to look at her, a wide smile on her lips. "You wear a distinctive perfume, and you're the only one who comes into my office and closes the door. Usually, the others just leave it open. What can I do for you?"

"Why do we have so many guests in the bullpen?"

"Missing child case, and apparently, it ties into some previous child abduction cases that happened in the area in the past. I take it that Rossi didn't fill you in before he got to work on this?" Erin shook her head as she took a seat on the sofa. "Typical man. But since you're here, that give me the opportunity to ask a few questions of you. First and foremost, how are you doing?"

She took a deep breath as she instinctively rubbed her bad shoulder. The wound had healed well, though she had been left with a wicked looking scar. A part of her knew that she should be grateful that she hadn't ended up with the wicked network of scars that Aaron had, or that she was still alive where Haley was not. Still, her vanity was such that she didn't care for the ugly mark, not even when David brushed his lips against it while they were making love. "Physically, I'm doing much better. My shoulder aches when it storms, but I was told that was to be expected. Mentally, there are days when I struggle. But I'm putting on that stiff upper lip for David and my children. I'm more worried about Aaron, truth be told. He's very much like me, however, and we don't open up to anyone. Even David doesn't know all my secrets yet, and we've been together for five years now."

Penelope nodded as she rolled over to her in her chair. "Somehow, I think that Helen might know the most about you out of all of us. Because you need to have someone that you would trust with everything close to your right hand, who can act for you, in case you're incapacitated."

"I'm surprised that you understand that, there are quite a few people who wouldn't." Penelope shrugged a little. "You're a rare soul. Do you want to see pictures of Catherine?"

The other woman blinked at the abrupt subject change before giving her an excited nod, and Erin slipped her phone out of her suit pocket and called up her picture roll and tapped on the newest picture that she had taken of Catherine before handing the device over. "Hey! This is the dress that I bought for Elise!"

"Yes. We kept all the sweetest things that didn't get much use, since babies grow so quickly. I assumed that we'd pass them on to our girls when they had their own children, but then little miss decided to grace us with her presence."

Penelope looked up at her, a dreamy look on her face. "That is so sweet," she breathed out before starting to flip through the pictures on Erin's camera roll. "And is our little Cath doing well? I was surprised that she was able to come home so quickly, since Elise had to be in the hospital and she was closer to term when she was born."

"She's healthy and growing. We'd like to see her have a little more weight, but she's going to be tall, or at least, that's what I think since she's so long right now. Our little lovebug. Though I just know that he's going to start calling her Kitty, or Kitten, and that is going to led to so much confusion, since he calls you Kitten. Though I do like the sound of Cath. Maybe that will stick as her nickname, if we say it often enough."

Penelope nodded before flipping to the next picture. "Oh my gosh, is that Hotch?!"

Erin frowned as she looked towards the phone, and Penelope turned it towards her, showing off the picture of Aaron holding Catherine, Jack and Elise fast asleep and cuddled up close to him as he smiled warmly up at the phone. "Yes. He doesn't smile very often, but when he does, I see him in Elise all the more. This goes no further than us, but I am so glad that we told him the truth before Haley died, so that it didn't come as a surprise to him when Foyet was ranting. I mean, everyone else on the team was shocked, but Aaron wasn't."

"Yeah. God, Erin that was such a terrible day."

"It was," she replied, watching as Penelope went back to looking at the pictures. "And I wanted to thank you again for helping me pull together the photo book. Aaron loved it, and it's been so great to be able to bond over our daughter. We'll never be close friends, which is as it should be, but things are much less fraught now." She glanced at her watch. "And now I'm going to be running late for a meeting. I'm sorry to cut this short. And if you see David before noon, tell him that we need to talk when he has a moment."

"I'll do that, Erin," Penelope said as she handed the phone back to her. "Seriously, you have created the most beautiful blended family out of the chaos that caused it."

Erin gave her a soft smile as she slipped the phone back into her pocket and turned to leave the room. While she didn't need to hear praise like that, it was nice to know that others recognized what she and David had worked so hard to build over the last few years. As she made her way out of the bullpen, she passed by Agent Jareau and an older woman, who'd clearly been crying, and she felt her heart lurch in her chest, wondering if that was one of the parents of the missing child. Quick tears pricked at her eyes as she thought about how she would feel if someone had taken one of her children.

Shaking her head slightly to try and keep the tears at bay as she headed back to her office knowing that she would have to quickly regain her composure so that she wouldn't look like a mess at her meeting. Helen met her at the door with a printout of the agenda, along with her coffee cup. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Helen."

"I'm certain you'd have another, equally as competent, assistant. I'm ordering Chinese for lunch, is there anything in particular that you'd like?"

"Sesame chicken sounds delicious today. Make certain you put it on my tab," she said as she took the proffered items from Helen's hands. "And take it easy, there shouldn't be too much happening today, since Alpha is home, and I can get updates by going into the bullpen for myself." Helen nodded as she gave Erin a quick wink and smile before going over to her desk, allowing Erin to make her way over to the elevators and pressing the up button, not really looking forward to the meeting ahead.


	117. Chapter 117

The entire team, including Penelope, had travelled out to Wyoming to deal with the distressing uptick in teens committing suicide, and Erin felt like her heart was in her throat when she read about what was going on. Karen was the same age as those who had already taken their lives, and she could only imagine the sorrow that the families left behind must be feeling in that current moment. Shaking her head to try and clear out the sorrowful thoughts, Erin began to work on the quarterly budget for the meeting the next day. She had almost gotten into the swing of things when her phone vibrated against her desk, and she picked it up to see who had messaged her.

_You should have Helen check your mail. I just received a notification that the photo book has been delivered. I truly hope that it is perfect, since I know how much this means to you. And, not that I'm someone to tell her boss what to do, but I think that you should have Hotch come over after this case, since I have the feeling that he's going to need something to brighten his mood. We all will, but we all don't have something that can easily provide that boost. Xoxo, Penny_

Erin chuckled as she rolled her eyes a little. Penelope might not think that she was bossy, but she had a sweetly dictatorial disposition to her that Erin recognized in her Tabitha. Getting up from her desk, she went out to where Helen was, seeing that she was filing away some of the paperwork that had been in her inbox that morning. Clearing her throat, Erin waited for Helen to register her presence before speaking. "Oh, Erin! Is everything all right?"

"It's going to be a difficult case, but that's not why I'm out here. I just received a text from Ms. Garcia that told me there's a package waiting for me, probably down in the mailroom, since I'm not certain how large it is. Would you kindly head down there and get it?"

"Of course! Do you want me to pick up a coffee or anything while I'm near the commissary?"

"I'll be fine, thank you," Erin replied, giving Helen a soft smile before heading back into her office and working on the budget once more. She knew that she needed to get it finished, but for some reason, it just wasn't holding her attention like it should. Deciding that it was a lost cause after getting about halfway finished, she picked up her cellphone and scrolled down to Jessica's name, pressing it before bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Erin! Hey! Is everything all right?"

"Yes, I just needed to hear a friendly voice, since I can't seem to keep my concentration. I hope that Catherine isn't giving you too much trouble today."

"She's a little lovebug, Erin! I cannot begin to thank you enough for letting me watch her while you and David are at work, along with Jack and Elise, after preschool. You are so blessed."

Erin nodded as she leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling. "I have felt that more and more over these past few weeks. I still can't believe that she's two months old already. Time shouldn't move this fast, and yet it is. I, I did something."

"A good something?"

She let out a long breath as she nodded. "I hope so. I had Penelope help me make up a photo book for Aaron, detailing the course of Elise's life up to this point. I even managed to find a few pictures of Jack and Elise together to add to the book. Helen's just run down to the mailroom to see if it's actually here, and I really want to flip through it and then give it to him. But the entire team is out in Wyoming, on that awful case, which means that it will have to wait. Would you mind staying at the house when the team returns, so that I can present it to him when he comes to pick up Jack? I know, I shouldn't feel so worried, but we've found our way towards a little bit of understanding, and I don't want to muff things up at this tender junction."

"Of course, Erin. And I hope that you'll let me look through the book as well."

"Well, if you want to stay for supper tonight, I can make that happen. If it's here. But I'm assuming that Penelope was right, as she is very rarely wrong in matters like this." Just then, Helen walked into the room, a thin, wide, book shaped box in her hands. "And it would appear that she was definitely correct. So, I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course!"

"And don't let the children talk you into making them supper. Karen and Bruce are old enough to make a simple meal for all of us, even if they would rather have us do all the work. I should be home a little after six, God willing and I get this damned budget completed."

"Oh, I hate making budgets up for the quarter at work. Would you like company for lunch today? I could bring by sandwiches from the deli and you can feed Catherine before I go pick up Jack and Elise."

A warm grin spread across her lips as she nodded, gesturing for Helen to set the package down on her desk. "I would love that, Jess, thank you. I'll see you in a few hours, then?"

"Of course! And if you can promise to have that budget finished by the time I get there, I might be persuaded to pick up fancy cupcakes for us to have for dessert."

Erin chuckled as glanced at the half-finished report. "You drive a hard bargain, but I think that I can be properly bribed. But get an extra for Helen, and I'll pay you back when you get here. See you soon."

She ended the call before looking up at Helen, the smile never leaving her lips. "You look like you're in a much better mood, Erin."

"I am, after that call with Jessica. Now, I need to make certain that I finish this budget so that I can eat what Jessica brings for dessert. Sometimes, you just need that little extra bit of motivation to get things finished."

Helen nodded as she looked pointedly at the package. "Does that mean I have to wait until lunch to see you open that?"

"Unfortunately, yes? I'd love to open it, but I know that I'd just take my time to look at every picture contained in there, and not get this report completed. And since the meeting is first thing tomorrow morning, I truly need to focus."

"I suppose." Helen gave her a small wink before leaving the office, and Erin let out a small sigh as she tore her eyes away from the package and turned back to her computer screen and buckled down on finishing the report, knowing that she needed to get it finished. Even if she did want to just shirk all her duties and check out the book that she and Penelope had created. There would be time for that later, once Jessica was here with Catherine, and she would just have to be patient.


	118. Chapter 118

"Jessica told me that we were all meeting here after the case?"

Erin nodded as she welcomed him into their house, hearing David come into the kitchen from the garage. "Yes. And since you're home early enough, we can all have supper together, before I give you something, and I have highest hopes that it will please you." Aaron gave her an odd look, and she just smiled placidly as she brought him into the dining room. Everyone else was already seated around the table, and Erin felt her heart spasm a little as she took Catherine from Karen's arms and took her seat at the head of the table, watching Aaron sit down between Jack and Elise.

"Everyone's waiting for me?" David said as he entered the room, stopping next to her side and bending down to brush his lips against the crown of her head. "Well, let me take a seat, and then we can start eating." He caressed her shoulder before heading to the opposite end of the table and taking a seat. Holding out his hands, David waited until everyone was clasping their neighbours' hands before saying a short blessing over the meal and then digging in.

Erin found it a bit awkward to eat with one hand, but she made it work, as she was loathe to let go of her daughter, knowing that she had to hang on to all the precious moments that she had with her, as time moved so quickly. Once the meal was finished, her older children cleared the table while Jessica took Jack and Elise to the playroom. "And that is our cue to head to the living room. David, would you mind making me some tea before joining us?" He nodded as they got to their feet, and Erin let out a pleased sigh when Aaron placed his hand in the small of her back, leading her into the living room.

"Is now when I get to see my surprise?" he asked as they both took a seat on the sofa. Erin nodded and gestured towards the coffee table with her hand before unbuttoning her blouse and adjusting her bra so that she could feed Catherine while they were talking. "It's a little late for Christmas."

"I know that, Aaron, but it took me a while to come up with this idea, and then it took a few weeks for Penelope and I to find the perfect layout and then for it to be produced. Please, open it?"

He nodded as he pulled the book into his lap and delicately unwrapped it. While Erin had always assumed him to be the type to hurriedly tear off the paper of gifts, Christmas had proven her wrong, and it seemed that it was still true. A large part of her wanted him to just get on with it and rip the paper off, since she wanted to see his reaction to the photo book. Jessica had loved it, assuring her that Aaron would also be touched by the thoughtfulness that had gone into the creation of it. Finally, he set the paper on the table before lifting the lid off the box she'd found to house the book, taking it out before setting the box on the coffee table as well.

Aaron opened the cover of the book, and a still silence fell over the room as she waited for him to say anything about what he was looking at. As the quiet stretched out, she started to think that maybe she had made a terrible mistake, and Erin began to worry her lower lip between her teeth as she waited for some sort of reaction from him. Finally, he cleared his throat and turned his head to look at her, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks. "Erin…"

"It's not every picture that we have of her, otherwise you would probably have a stack of five or six books. But I chose the best of them for you. Because you didn't have the opportunity to be a part of Elise's early life, I wanted you to have the best memories of that time. I know that you'll have questions about them, and even though I don't like talking about myself, I will be more than happy to talk about Leelee. Because I want us to be the family that we should have been from the very beginning, and this is my small way of starting to make thing right."

He nodded as he turned the page, a smile flitting across his lips as he looked at the christening pictures of Elise. "I wondered where this went. Haley told me that we must have lost it during one of our moves. Did she know, even back then, that we were lying to ourselves?"

Erin nodded. "She knew, yes. And she understood why I wanted to keep the truth hidden at the time. I, I truly came to think of her and Jessica as the sisters I was never blessed with, and I hope you know that I would have done anything to save her, if it had been possible. I know that I keep coming back to this, but I feel like I failed her when she needed me to be better."

Aaron set the book aside so that he could turn and look at her, one hand settling on her knee. "I loved her until the end, and I know that I failed her. You were placed in an untenable position, where you had to think about protecting Catherine along with Jack and Elise, and then you were paralyzed by fear at watching Foyet fuck around with you and Haley while talking to me. He was evil personified, and there was no way you could have planned for his level of cruelty. But at least our children are alive and well."

She nodded as Catherine fussed against her breast. Turning aside for a moment, she switched sides with her daughter before turning back to him. "But that doesn't assuage the guilt that I feel. Somedays, it's so crushing. But I have Jess, and my babies, and David, and the few friends I've let in close enough to see behind the walls I put up. And that is probably as close as you'll get to see above that wall. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Erin. The way I treated you five years ago, when you ended up pregnant, I understand." Aaron's hand rubbed her knee softly, and she nodded as she fought back her own tears. "And I love the book. This is the perfect thing to help me fill in the gaps of Elise's early life."

Erin gave him a wobbly smile as she adjusted how she was holding Catherine. "And like I said, if you have any questions or want stories about some of the pictures, feel free to ask me or David."

Aaron gave her a tender smile, an expression she never thought she'd see on his face again after the death of Haley, and she rubbed her lips together a little as she waited for David to come with her tea. She needed something to do with her mouth and hands so as not to feel so awkward. As if her fiancé could read her thoughts, he came in a few moments later, Jessica on his heels, and she allowed herself to relax as he set the tray with teacups and a teapot on the table before taking a seat next to her and reaching for Catherine. Erin handed their daughter over to him before adjusting her bra and buttoning her shirt. "Here, let me pour you some tea," Jessica said before doing just that, giving her a quick hug before pouring a cup for herself and taking a seat in one of the chairs. "Jack and Elise are entertaining Tabitha with some reenactment of their favorite cartoon, but I told them that you'd probably be ready to leave in an hour or so. After all, they have school and we all have work."

"Yes, that is true, but I love having us all here. These are the moments that I live for, and I wish this peace could last."

"Given the jobs we do, that is definitely a wish that only God can grant." Aaron patted her knee before pouring his own tea, and they all settled back to talk about their day and how the kids were doing. It felt good to be in this place, and though she knew that Aaron was right, this peace couldn't last, Erin still knew she would hold on to it for as long as possible.


	119. Chapter 119

Erin could feel the beginning of a stress migraine forming at the base of her skull as she rubbed her upper chest in an effort to keep her heart from pounding too heavily against her ribcage. Suddenly, she knew why David had avoided coming to see her before they had left on their current case, and it wasn't because it was so pressing that they had to leave immediately. Oh no, it was because he and Aaron were going behind her back to join the Red Cell team in San Francisco on a case that the even the Director was certain didn't exist. She knew that Sam was driven, that he thought he had pieced something together, but sine there wasn't concrete evidence for that, she couldn't approve of what was occurring under her nose.

After a fruitless call with Aaron, she found herself wondering if it had really been a good thing to make amends with him, since he was still clearly hellbent on being reckless, even after the trauma he had so recently been through. It was barely six months since Haley had been murdered, after all, and he was running around the streets of San Francisco like he had nothing to lose. Letting out a long breath through her nose, Erin pushed away from her desk and grabbed her coat, pulling it on roughly as she stuffed her phone into her pocket. "I'm heading up to the roof to clear my thoughts, Helen. I should be back in forty minutes or so."

"That bad?"

She let out a breathy chuckle as she nodded. "They all know that this means I have to jump through extra hoops with the Director to try and cover their asses, not worrying about what consequences I might suffer as a result of their recklessness." Helen nodded in commiseration as she sighed. "If any truly important calls come before I return, just forward them to my cellphone, as I'm taking it with me."

"Of course, Erin."

Giving her assistant a small smile, Erin made her way out into the hall and over to the stairwell, knowing that the extra exercise would do her good, as it would help her burn off some of her excess energy that always came when she was upset. By the time she made it onto the roof, she was still frustrated, but less angry with Aaron and Sam. Erin knew that she couldn't allow them to know that, though, since they would then use that as an excuse to try and keep pushing the envelope with her, and she couldn't have that.

Stepping out onto the roof, Erin began to pace back and forth as she tried to get her emotions back into some semblance of normal. She knew that her emotions were off kilter because of the stress and her hormones, and she wished that things could just return to normal, even though there wasn't really a way to return to the normalcy that she wanted. Unable to stop herself, Erin began to cry a little, thankful that she was alone and so didn't have to worry about who might see her. Erin truly felt like she was falling apart, that she was the one who had to try and keep everything together while everyone else just blithely did whatever they wanted. A part of her recognized that that wasn't true, but as she allowed herself to wallow in self pity, Erin felt something shift in her chest, suddenly wanting to hear her fiancé's voice.

Erin pulled her phone out of her pocket and hurriedly touched his number, hoping that he wasn't busy with the case when her call came through. A relieved smile curved across her lips when she heard it connect, and she took a few a few shuddery breaths when she heard his voice. " _Stellina_? What's wrong?"

"Everything!"

He chuckled, which caused Erin to frown, her good mood at hearing his voice evaporating in the space between her heartbeats. Somehow, he seemed to know that she was less than pleased with his reaction, as his next words were kinder. "You're angry with us, aren't you?"

"Yes. I'm angry, frustrated, and I want to knock all of your heads together! I know that Aaron and Sam think that this is a good idea, that there is a tenuous link connecting these two cases, where there might not even be another case."

"There is."

"And how would you know that?" she shot back, feeling a white hot bolt of anger surge down her spine as she dug her free fist into her hip.

"Because we've been in contact with a woman whose husband and daughter are missing, just like Sam said would happen. Hotch agrees with all of us, there was a reason why we came out here, and that was to save these people. To catch this unsub before he kills anymore innocent people."

"And you couldn't say that to my face before you slunk out of here this morning, as if you knew that I would tell you no and ground the team so that you couldn't go against orders and behind my back?" She hated how her voice kept rising in pitch, letting him know that she was close to just losing all control and outright yelling at him.

"Sam said that time was of the essence, so we left as soon as possible. It was not to sneak around behind your back."

"And what do I tell the Director? He's already told Sam not to take on this case, and yet there he is, defying both of us and making me look bad, like I can't control my teams. I could very well end up a laughingstock, here, if not taken to task for tacitly allowing this to happen, especially if it goes badly. Do you really want to see me facing a two week suspension, or worse?"

There was no reining in her ire now, and she vaguely thought she heard two people hiss in response to that, one being David, the other coming from somewhere behind her, which told her she was no longer alone. Drawing in a few long breaths, she waited for him to answer, hoping that he would have something that might calm her down ready on his lips. That, however, was not to be, she soon found out. "We'll deal with it, if he decides to rap your knuckles with the proverbial yardstick."

"And you can deal with going home with Aaron, when this case is over. I do not want to see you anywhere near our home until you think long and hard about what you just said and why it would infuriate me so." Without giving him an opportunity to reply, Erin ended the call before shoving her phone back into her pocket and making her way back down to her office, knowing that if she didn't get back to work, soon, she would soon lose every hope of getting anything accomplished that day. And she couldn't afford to have that happen, as there was a rather important meeting that she had to attend the following morning. Drawing in a deep breath through her nose, Erin passed by Helen's desk, giving her a tight smile as she passed by, hoping that nothing else about this day would go wrong.


	120. Chapter 120

The stress headache that Erin had been fighting all day was still lingering, and she wondered if she would hear from David that evening, since she knew the team was headed home. Sam, at least, had texted her to let her know, so as not to worry. But not a word from David or Aaron. A part of her knew that was because she had reacted so poorly the previous day, but she missed talking to her fiancé. Even if he seemed intent on vexing her so on this last case. Sighing, she rubbed the back of her neck and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her body before making her way over to the mirror and looking at her reflection. She looked exhausted, and sad, and Erin knew that if she wasn't breastfeeding, she'd be drinking a bottle of whatever she could first pull out of David's liquor cabinet in the hopes of ending up mind numbingly drunk. Even if the last time that had happened, it had not ended well for her. Except for the fact that she had Elise as an end result.

Letting out a frustrated breath, Erin shook her head before rubbing her head with another towel, quickly drying her hair off before pulling on the loungewear she had selected to relax in before heading to bed. She had just reached the bottom step when she heard the door start to open, and she knew that they were home. Turning towards the door, she took a few steps forward only for Aaron to follow David inside. "I know that you said you didn't want to see us, _stellina_ , but Aaron convinced me that we needed to apologise to you in person. I know that I didn't call to talk to you after you hung up on me, but that was because I knew you needed some time to cool off. And I suppose that I can admit to being an ass, too."

Erin nodded as she finally looked at them both clearly. Each man held a bouquet of flowers, and Erin began to feel tears gather in her eyes as she cocked her head to one side. "The flowers were my idea. If we had gotten home at a decent time, we could have gone to a proper florist, and bought you something more appropriate. You'll have to make do with what we could find at the grocer."

"They're beautiful, thank you," she whispered as she took the bouquet from Aaron's hand and stuck her face in the middle of the blooms, breathing in deeply, letting the heady scent envelope her senses. All too readily, she discovered that that was the entirely wrong thing to do, as she thought about the fact that Haley would never have the opportunity to receive flowers like this again and promptly burst into sobs. One of the men took the flowers from her arms, while the other touched her shoulder lightly, and she turned into the broad chest and curled one hand into the fabric of his suit coat, which clued her into the fact that Aaron was the one holding her close.

"What's wrong?" he quietly asked as he led her into the living room, and she shrugged against him, not really knowing how to put into words what she was feeling. It seemed like six months of pushing aside the way she felt over Haley's murder had finally backfired and she was feeling all those emotions at once, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she allowed Aaron to pull her down onto the sofa. Moments later, David was sitting on her other side, and she instinctively turned towards him, allowing him to bundle her close to his chest as she moved her head around until she heard his heartbeat clearly in her ear.

"Erin, you need to talk to us. What's wrong?"

"Everything! You both ran headlong into an entirely too dangerous situation, one in which both I and the Director told you to stay away, and think that you can just dismiss my feelings as being hysteria. I don't want to lose either of you, I don't want my children to lose one of their fathers. I am so fucking sick of losing." Her sobs choked out her words, and she buried her face in David's shirt once more, her shoulders shaking from the force of her sobs. And then, in the background, she vaguely could hear Catherine start to wail, and her heart broke all over again. "I…"

"I'll check in on her, Erin. Stay here with Dave." Aaron rubbed her knee softly before getting to his feet and leaving the room, which allowed her fiancé to more fully pull Erin into his lap. She burrowed all the closer to him as her sobs petered out, and Erin pulled away from his embrace so that she could look up into his eyes.

"Erin, has this been eating at you since Cat was born?"

She nodded, reaching up to wipe away a few of the tears that clung to his cheek before leaning in and kissing him fiercely. "You know that I don't talk to people, that I don't open up. Even to you, though I love you so. And I think that that is coming back to hurt me. I snapped at you, when I didn't mean to, and then you didn't talk to me. I thought that maybe I had finally pushed you away, and that I would lose everything I've gained in these last five years. I can't take another loss. I can't."

David's eyes filled with fresh tears before he lowered his head to rest against hers as he breathed calmly in and out. Soon enough, she was able to sync her breathing with his, feeling a sense of calm spread through her chest as she felt her eyes grow heavy. "I should have been a better partner to you, and seen that you were suffering. I think that you're far too good at wearing a mask, and I need to be better at taking that mask off to see how you're truly feeling. Come on, let's head up to bed."

"What about Catherine?"

"Hotch has her, and if she needs to be fed, he can bring her into our room. You need rest, and a lot of it. Thank God tomorrow is Friday, so you can take a half day."

"I have too much to do to leave early, David."

"And it's just too bad that I already talked with the Director about it, and you're leaving at one, along with me. Whatever is left will be done on Monday. Let me take care of you." He gently pushed her to her feet before hooking an arm around her waist and guiding her up to their bedroom. It was nice of him to take control like that, and she relaxed as he undressed her before pulling a cotton nightgown over her head and smoothing it down her body. "Now, let's get you into bed, and as soon as I've changed, I'll curl up around you and sing until you're asleep. If Hotch needs to, he'll bring Cat in here, okay?"

She nodded heavily as she slipped into bed, feeling like her head was already weighing her down before she even touched the pillow, a broad yawn splitting her lips as she tried to make herself comfortable. It was a losing battle to keep her eyes open as David settled the covers over her body, and she quit fighting as she listened to his movements around the bedroom before he finally got into bed next to her, curving his body to protect hers as he hummed lightly, the soothing sound of his voice soon lulling her to sleep.


	121. Chapter 121

"Hello?" Erin said groggily as she answered her cellphone. Squinting, she saw that it was nearly half past one in the morning, which explained why she was so tired. "David?"

"No." The voice was quiet and sad, and Erin felt herself instantly come to wakefulness as she recognized Penelope's voice. "And before you worry, we're all okay. Well, physically, at least. I, I guess I just needed to hear a motherly voice. I tried talking to Kevin, but he was more concerned about the fact that I had to share a room with Morgan, because there aren't enough rooms in this B&B, and I just couldn't deal with that again. It's so hard to be up here in Alaska and removed from all my friends. I know it's so late there, but I was hoping that maybe I'd catch you at a late night feeding for Catherine."

"She's sleeping through the night now," she murmured as she sat up and pressed her back against the headboard. "What's bothering you, and why do you feel like you can't talk to Agent Morgan?"

"I watched someone, someone I didn't even know, die. I held his hand as his life just…slipped away. You know that I don't like seeing the crime scene photos that our team comes across. I've tried to get better over the years, but there's something that hurts my heart to see the cruelty that humans can inflict on others. But to see it so up close and personal? I feel like it has broken something in me. My Boo, for all that I love him, wouldn't understand how I'm currently feeling. And Jayje has to be in agent mode, so can't turn her focus off her job. I'm just sitting around, waiting to be useful, because there's not much for me to do while they're out in the field. The population is so small, and I can only do so much digging, so I am left with time to ruminate. Talk me off the ledge?"

Erin let out a deep breath as she picked up David's pillow with her free hand, awkwardly hugging it to her chest as she thought about what she could say to help soothe Penelope. The door to her bedroom creaked open in that moment of silence, revealing Tabitha. Motioning her daughter over to the bed, Erin smiled when she crawled beneath the covers and cuddled up close to her, resting her head on the pillow, while Erin started to run her fingers through her hair. "Death is never anything that we're prepared for, even less when it's a violent death that happens in front of our eyes. It makes sense that you are deeply affected by this, because you have a tender heart. That is a blessing in this cruel world, but it is also a great curse. You empathise so well with others, that you often take on the sorrows that they carry. The remote setting you're currently in magnifies those feelings, because you know that everyone has to come together to survive, and so it starts to feel like you can't trust anyone there. You just have to stay strong and resilient, like I know you are. And don't be afraid to reach out to your friends who are there with you. I know that you don't want to distract them from their jobs, but you're a team, and as a team you need to function together."

"Okay. Thanks for listening to me, Erin. I know that it's late, but I really appreciate you taking time to be there for me. I'll let you get back to sleep now."

"You try and get some sleep yourself, Penelope," she replied before ending the call and dropping her phone back onto the nightstand. "Did the phone wake you up, Tabby?"

"No, I couldn't sleep, Mama. I got up to drink some water and heard you talking, so I thought I'd come in and see what was up. Is everything all right?"

Erin nodded as she gently pushed her daughter off her, giving her the pillow, which she promptly stuffed beneath her head before looking up at her. "There's just a case that Papa Dave's team is working, and it's bothering Penelope more than she expected. Let's try to get back to sleep?"

Tabitha nodded a little as she wriggled around in an effort to get more comfortable. "I'm just not tired, Mama. And my stomach hurts. I don't think that I'm sick, but I'm unsettled. If we wake up on time tomorrow, could we talk before we have to get ready?"

Erin nodded as she reached out and stroked Tabitha's hair gently once more. "Of course we can, darling. But if you're not feeling good when we get up, you can stay home. I'll just tell Jessica that you're here, so she can bring Jack and Elise here instead of to her house after school." Tabitha nodded as a wide yawn interrupted her next words. "See, you are getting tired, darling."

"Maybe a little. Why do you have to put out so many fires with Uncle Aaron's team? Do they deliberately get into trouble so that you have to fix things?"

Erin giggled, shaking her head a little. "The team is reckless, because they know the stakes involved in the cases they get. Of course I wish that they'd use a little more caution at times, but they do get things done. And cause me to have so much more work at the end of the day. I swear, if I weren't breastfeeding, I would drink a little more."

Tabitha nodded, giving her a little grin. "After all I hear you and Papa Dave talk about when you think we're asleep, I don't blame you. But we could get some of that sparkling grape juice we have on New Year's, and you could pretend that it's the good stuff."

She sighed as she let out a huff of a laugh, slipping down so that she was stretched out alongside her daughter as she curled her arms up to rest beneath her head. "The good stuff is debatable. Though it might be nice to have a fancy supper night this weekend. We can put together a menu tonight when I get home, and then I can grocery shop tomorrow before coming home."

"That would be perfect, Mama." Tabitha smiled as her eyes slowly blinked a few times, telling Erin that she was about to head off to sleep. Reaching out, Erin caressed her daughter's cheek lightly before starting to hum beneath her breath. "My lullaby," she murmured, and Erin nodded. "Sing it for me?"

"Of course, Tabby." Erin quietly began to sing the lullaby she'd used with al her children. It was so easy to slip back into that mode, and she watched as Tabitha's eyes finally fully closed, as her breathing slowed and evened out into true sleep. As soon as Erin was certain Tabitha wouldn't wake up again, she turned onto her back, pulling the covers up around her shoulders as she started to relax and relax, counting slowly in an effort to bore herself back to sleep, knowing that morning was soon coming, and she would have to get the children ready and out the door before heading to work, and she wasn't quite ready to face that thought. Just before she fully drifted back to sleep, Erin heard the bedroom door open once more and then familiar light steps were padding over to the bed before Elise scrambled up and wormed her way between Tabitha and Erin, snuggling in close to Erin, and she instinctively turned towards her daughters, sleep finally claiming her once more.


	122. Chapter 122

"Agent Anderson is here to see you, Erin."

She looked up from the open file on her desk and pulled off her reading glasses as she gave Helen a small frown. "Did he mention what he wanted?" she asked as she set the glasses on top of said file.

"No, just that it was rather urgent. Do you want me to show him in?"

Erin nodded as she took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter, trying to give off a more commanding air. Helen smiled a little as she left her office, and then moments later, Agent Anderson was coming in, a pensive look on his face. "How can I help you, Agent?" she asked as she motioned for him to take a seat in front of her desk.

He sank down into a chair and let out a long breath. "I don't like being a snitch, since that usually means I don't get to hear the best gossip going around the bullpen, but I think that this time it's warranted. Penelope isn't handling this current case that Alpha is on very well. I had to go past her office door just a few minutes ago, and it sounded like she was crying, but trying to hide the fact that she was doing so. I just don't want to seem like I'm prying, but since you're technically her boss, it wouldn't seem so odd if you were to check in on her?"

Erin didn't like being manipulated like that, but she knew his heart was in the right place. "You do have a point, Agent Anderson. Head back to your office, and I'll go in after a few minutes." He gave her a quick smile before getting up and heading out of the office. Erin watched him go before slipping her reading glasses back on and finishing up with the editing on the file in front of her, knowing that she could probably finish it in a short enough time to allow a cover between Agent Anderson's return and her entrance. With that quickly taken care of, Erin set aside her pen and got to her feet, sticking her glasses in the pocket of her blazer before leaving the office. "I have to go check on Penelope. It seems that something might be wrong with her."

"Well, if it's this case that Alpha went on, I don't blame her for being upset. The unsub is playing dirty pool in her sandbox, and that would upset me, too."

Erin nodded as she smoothed her skirt across her upper thighs and took a deep breath. "Wish me luck, then. I'm certain that I'll need it." Helen nodded as she turned to leave the office, and Erin strode to the bullpen with a cool expression on her face. She took care not to really look at any of the people she passed, feeling like she was just playing into the reputation that she had built up over the years, but not really caring, since it meant that she could more effectively get her job done. Reaching Penelope's office, she knocked twice before entering.

"Penelope?" she asked when she didn't see the woman right away, and she heard the slight sniffle that told her the woman was most likely curled up on her sofa, and Erin turned to look there, seeing that she was hastily trying to swipe away the tears that were staining her face, leaving rivulets in her makeup. "I guess that I did hear right. Do you want to talk about it?"

Penelope shrugged as Erin made her way over to the sofa and carefully took a seat next to her, not wanting to crowd her, but still wanting to offer the support that Penelope so clearly needed. "I suppose that you'll hear about it from Rossi tonight, if he calls you before you go to sleep. But I just really hate the cases we're called to that are out in the middle of fucking nowhere, because they always seem to bring out the worst people. He's making snuff films and putting them up on the internet, and he's so good at the internet that he knows how to bounce between random, rotating, proxy servers across the world, and by the time I manage to get close to him, he's already chosen another path to head down. I'm so frustrated, Erin, and seeing that last video hasn't helped at all."

"You watched it?"

Penelope drew in a sharp breath as she shrugged a little once more. "Sort of. I watched the unsub enter her bedroom, and straddle her. I thought it was going to end in a rape, that's how these usually go. But it was worse. So much worse. I couldn't keep my eyes on the screen any longer, and instinctively took my glasses off before turning my head from the screen and asking your fiancé to tell me when it was over. But you know what?"

"What?" she softly asked as she reached out and rested her hand on Penelope's arm, curving her fingers around it in an effort to soothe Penelope.

"Your brain can conjure up the worst mental images to the noises it hears. It might be worse than what actually happened, but I won't rewatch her death scene just to confirm that thought. I'm feeling burnt out from all these horrible cases, and I just want a break. But I know that I can't have one, because of my situation, and I just, I'm trapped. And I hate that feeling."

Penelope's eyes met hers, and Erin tried to give her an encouraging smile, even as her lower lip quivered a little. "I understand that feeling, perhaps more than you know. Try to get through the day, but if you need to take a break, the roof is a magnificent place to just forget the whole world exists for a few minutes."

"That sounds like experience talking."

She nodded. "I have a tendency to go up there, when there aren't any smokers already occupying the area." Squeezing Penelope's arm, Erin took a deep breath. "Are you feeling better now?"

"A little, yes. Thank you for coming up here. It's just been a hard year?"

"It has. But I take comfort in the fact that I have my Catherine to help pull me through the worst of it." Penelope gave her a small smile as she got to her feet, too, and Erin was not surprised when the woman pulled her into a quick, tight, hug. "All right, I need to get back to work. If you need anything, you know where my office is."

"Lunch tomorrow if the team isn't home?"

"I think that we can make that work, yes. As long as I don't get called into a last minute meeting." Penelope nodded as they went over to the door, and Erin found a tender smile spreading across her face as she opened the door and headed back down to her office, suddenly not caring who saw her in a better mood, because there were things that mattered more than her being the resident Ice Queen of the BAU. Though she knew that she would have to have a long conversation with David about treating Penelope with a little more grace and kindness in the days ahead.


	123. Chapter 123

Erin was busy working on returning emails that had piled up over the weekend when she heard Helen enter the room. Holding up one finger, she signed off on the latest one she was working on before sending it and looking up at her assistant. "What do you need?"

"I just got off the phone with Director Shepperd, and he would like to see you in his office, as soon as possible."

Erin tried not to feel like the bottom of her stomach was giving out, but she still felt like she was going to throw up for some reason. "Did he say what he wanted?" she managed to squeak out as she slid back from her computer and rose to her feet, trying not to let her assistant see that her knees were shaking.

"I'm afraid that he didn't. But if it helps any, he didn't sound angry, just a little stressed about something. So maybe it's not bad news?"

"I hope so," she murmured as she smoothed her skirt nervously down her thighs. Things had been going so well with her teams lately, there wasn't any real need for the Director to chastise her about keeping Alpha in line. Picking up her phone, she slipped it into her pocket as she let out a long breath through her lips. "I don't know what to expect, so hold all my calls until I return. And if it's David, tell him that I don't know what to tell him, but I'll return his call as soon as I can." Smiling tightly, Erin sailed past Helen and out of her office, over to the elevators, and then pressing the up button with a firm finger.

It was hard not to tap her foot against the floor of the elevator as it all too slowly rose upwards, and once more, Erin found herself wishing for a bit of liquid courage in her system when she faced whatever was coming her way. A part of her knew that this unhealthy thought was one she couldn't indulge in, but it was nice to dream. Finally, the doors slid open and Erin stepped out of the elevator, making certain to keep her footsteps even and light, as she didn't want to betray her nerves in the way she walked. Still, she felt like she was going to walk right out of her skin as she approached Director Shepperd's office, and Erin took a few deep breaths before entering the outer office, waiting to be acknowledged by Amy.

"That was quick, Chief Strauss!"

"Yes, well, Helen said that the Director wanted to see me as quick as possible. May I head right in, then?"

"Yes. He and Director Rosenthal are waiting for you."

At the sound of that name, Erin blanched a little, wondering what the Director of the State Department could possibly want with her. Nodding a little, she went over to the inner office door and slowly opened it, feeling like her nerves were going to overwhelm her. Still, she plastered on a fake smile as she entered the room and looked over at Ron. "Good morning, gentlemen."

"Good morning, Erin. I'm glad that you were able to get away so quickly. I have the feeling that we are going to be here for the rest of the morning, and maybe into lunch. Please, take a seat." Ron gestured towards the seat next to Director Rosenthal, and she nodded as she sat, again nervously smoothing her skirt down her thighs. "I need to clear one thing up, before we get started. I am not reducing the budget for the BAU, and this request was not made as a result to trim some fat off the team. You have done admirable work this past year, and as a result, have caught the attention of other institutions. Which is why Bruce is here today. Bruce?"

Director Rosenthal nodded at Ron before turning his attention to Erin. His pale blue eyes seemed to read everything about her, down to her desire to get a bit tipsy for this meeting, and it was a struggle to keep her cool, to play that political game that she knew was afoot. "I have been keeping an eye on your Alpha team for the past two years, Erin. They have been doing some amazingly good work since Dave Rossi returned to the BAU. And while I would love to be able to steal your technical analyst away from you, I know that that is completely impossible, as she is fully integrated into your team now, and to be honest, even we're a little afraid of what she might do if we pulled her way from the FBI at this point."

Erin couldn't stop the chuckle that slipped from her lips as she nodded. "Ms. Garcia is quite formidable, despite her sweet countenance. Even I am a bit in awe of her capabilities. So, if we're not here to discuss her, why am I here?"

He raised an eyebrow before clearing his throat, clearly a little put off by her impertinence, and she swallowed a groan to know that she would have to put that much more work into the next schmoozing activity that she was invited to. "While you will not be saying goodbye to Ms. Garcia, there is another rising star member of your team that quite a number of people have had their eye on. Especially for her grace under pressure."

That alone told Erin that he was not referring to Agent Prentiss, because her temper was well known throughout the Bureau. Which only left Agent Jareau. And that was when Erin knew that she would have a definite problem on her hands. Drawing in a long, slow, breath through her nostrils, she turned her attention back to Ron. "I think that it goes without saying that I do not think it is a good idea for Agent Jareau to be separated from Alpha. They act as a family, and she is the little sister that glues the team together. Without her, I fear that the team cold quite easily disintegrate."

"I'm afraid that I didn't come here to ask you to agree. I came here to hash out a plan of attack that would allow you to convince Agent Jareau that this is in her best interest. I guess that Ron forgot to inform you that when the DoD asks, it's not really a request."

She felt herself start to bristle at the tone Director Rosenthal was taking with her, but she tried to calm herself with a few deep, quiet, breaths. "And if I can't convince her to accept the offer?"

"Then Ron will be forced to step in, and there might be consequences for everyone involved. And you wouldn't want to have that happen, would you?"

Erin shook her head a little, knowing that she had been backed into a corner from which there was no real way out, at least not that she could see in the current moment. Knowing that if she appeared to agree in the moment, things might go easier for herself and Agent Jareau when she inevitably rejected Erin's offer for a new job. "All right, so, tell me some strategies that you think might work for getting Agent Jareau to agree to this transfer." Even though she knew that there would be nothing, she still had to appear like she was listening, and she only hoped that Ron wouldn't figure out she was just humoring Rosenthal in that moment, because she knew there would be hell to pay later, if he did.


	124. Chapter 124

Erin was still awake when David crept into their bedroom upon the return from his horrid case in California. She had heard through the grapevine about the lengths that Agent Jareau had gone to in order to be able to talk to the unsub via the emergency broadcast system. That was exactly the sort of thing that had brought her to the attention of the State Department in the first place, which was what had kept her up far too late. "You don't have to be quiet, darling. I am still wide awake."

He turned to look at her, a concerned look on his face. "What has you still up?" he asked as he began to unbutton his shirt, making his way slowly over to her side.

She smiled before leaning up and accepting the kiss he offered before gently pushing him away. "Change first, and then we can talk about it, since I am going to need your brain to help me with this one, I think." He nodded before stealing another kiss, which made Erin's smile soften as he went over to the closet and hung up his suit coat before dropping the shirt in the hamper, along with his jeans. As she watched, he tugged his undershirt off, twirling it around his head a few times before dropping it into the hamper as he hooked his thumbs into the elastic of his boxers, shaking his rump in a clear effort to make her giggle. It worked quite well, and as she allowed a bit of mirth to fill her heart, David shimmied his way out of his boxers, making certain to give her a bit of a show before he pulled on his pyjamas. "Thank you, darling."

"You are welcome, _stellina_. We both needed a little bit of levity tonight, it seems." She nodded as he joined her on the bed, and once he was comfortable, Erin snuggled up close to him, resting her head on his chest and waiting to talk until she had heard the steady thump of his heart. He seemed content to wait, stroking her hair as a gentle quiet filled the room.

"I had a meeting while you were in California."

"What sort of meeting?" he asked as he moved his hand lower, rubbing her back in steady circle as she took a few deep breaths. "Erin?"

"I have to figure out a way to tell Agent Jareau that she has to leave the BAU."

His hand stilled on her back before tugging in a strand of her hair. "Care to run that by my again, Erin? Perhaps with a few more words of explanation?"

She nodded as she spread her hand out on his chest, tapping her thumb against his breastbone as she tried to gather her words without getting too emotional. "Ron called me into a meeting with Director Rosenthal this morning. It was a three hour meeting, David, and I wanted nothing more than to head to the closest bar and get shitfaced drunk afterwards. Which, I know, it's a problem, but I didn't choose that option. Instead, I went out to lunch and chose the most unhealthy meal I could stand to eat. And capped it off with a huge sundae with extra fudge. It spoiled my appetite for supper, but it was worth it. I have nowhere to escape this, David. I've been told that if I fail to convince her to take the position, that my job might be in danger."

"What?"

"I know, David. I was blindsided by that. But I also know that there is no way on God's green earth that I can talk her into accepting a position with the State Department. She is so happy with the BAU. And when I go to talk to her, it will just create more animosity between the team and myself. It's only been seven months since Haley was murdered, and I know that besides Aaron and Penelope, the team views me as an irritant at best, or a negative person at worst. I still hear the terms Ice Queen and bitch bandied about behind my back when I have to go into the bullpen to meet with you or Aaron or Penelope. And I won't lie and say that it doesn't hurt, because you would ferret out the truth anyway. But this? This might just push me over the edge into being the Devil incarnate. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"When do you need to meet with her?"

Erin took a deep breath as she snuggled in closer to her fiancé. "Director Rosenthal wanted me to do it as soon as you had returned from this case, but Ron stepped in and said that I would need more time to prepare and put together a proper presentation for Agent Jareau. So I have six weeks."

He chuckled, and Erin wondered what he found humorous about her current dilemma. Before he spoke once more, David pressed his lips against the crown of her head as he adjusted how he was holding her. "I'm sorry, but if I know anything about you, you are going to wait until the last possible moment to talk to Jen, and that will just make things worse, for all of us. Aren't you?"

Erin blushed as she pulled away from his a little, smacking his chest lightly as she glared at him. "I was viewing it as biding my time and hoping that because she wouldn't have much time to argue with me, she'd just agree." David laughed as he shook his head. "I know, she's stubborn, just like I am. I think that's a requirement of all BAU agents, honestly. But…I want the buffer zone?"

"I get that, Erin. It's going to be hard to talk to her about this. And the State Department is a wonderful opportunity for her and her family. I'm assuming that the position would mean she'd be home at the same time every night?"

"Yes. And I would love her to have that for Henry. There is so much that I regret at the moment about being unable to be there all the time for Elise and Catherine. It was the same for when my older children were young. They change so quickly, and she deserves to have more time with Henry right now." Letting out a little sigh, she dropped her head back onto his chest, welcoming the kisses that he dropped onto her head. "But there's nothing that I can possibly say that will convince her that this is in her best interest, or that my hands are thoroughly tied behind my back."

"And that is why we're going to work through this together, and come up with something that might help smooth things over for her. I think that if you led with the fact that this is a fantastic opportunity for her to accept. She will make fabulous connections and we'll be here talking about how we knew her when she was just a lowly media liaison for the BAU."

"From your lips to God's ear, darling. Now, since I have that out of my system, would you mind holding me until I all asleep? I just wish that I could turn my brain off and back on in the morning."

"It doesn't quite work that way, _stellina_ ," he murmured as he gently pressed her over onto her back. Just as he was leaning down to kiss her, Catherine began to cry over the monitor, and he let out a soft sigh before getting out of the bed. "I'll bring her back in here with me?"

"Yes, she's probably hungry and I think that we can safely sleep with her between us tonight, even though I know that I'm going to be dragging in the morning."

"You could always take a personal day, Erin." She shook her head as he frowned a little, leaving the room to get their daughter. Erin was glad that she had spoken with him about this issue, she just didn't know how they would possibly find a way to make this work so that everyone would end up happy.


	125. Chapter 125

"Is today the day that you talk with Aaron?"

Erin looked at David in the mirror and gave him a small nod. "I know, I'm leaving things until almost the last minute here, but I kept hoping that somehow, I'll get word that Director Rosenthal has changed his mind and found someone else to take the open position, rather than headhunting Agent Jareau. But seeing as how that hasn't happened yet, I suppose that I have to grab the bull by the horns and broach the subject. Wish me luck, because I don't think that it is going to go well. No matter how much Aaron and I have managed to find a little bit of common ground over the last few months."

He nodded, leaning in to kiss her cheek as Catherine began to cry. "Do you want to get her, or me?"

"I will," she replied as she shoved the last bobby pin into place, anchoring her French twist into place before taking a deep breath and slipping out of the bathroom. She wasn't surprised to see Tabitha heading towards Catherine's room, too, and she smiled as she jogged over to her daughter's side. "I have her, Tabby. Make certain that Elise is dressed?"

"Of course, Mama." Tabitha gave her a small smile before continuing down the hall to Elise's room. Erin watched her disappear inside before opening the door to the nursery and heading inside. Catherine was definitely awake, and she glided over to the crib and picked her daughter up, cradling her close to her chest as she made her way over to the rocking chair. Lowering herself into the chair, Erin unbuttoned her blouse and brought her daughter to her breast, letting out a little sigh as Catherine began to eat. Once her daughter was satiated, Erin brought her over to the changing table and put a fresh diaper on her before pulling one of the dresses that Penelope had originally given to Elise.

"All right, little one, let's see where our family is on breakfast for me." Erin smiled as Catherine snuggled against her, and she carefully carried her downstairs to the kitchen. "Is the diaper bag ready to go?" she asked when she stepped into the room and saw that nothing was done.

"Yes, _stellina_ , it's hanging next to your purse. Here, eat, so that we can drop Elise and Catherine off at Jessica's. Apparently, Hotch is already on his way to work."

Erin nodded as she took the plate of waffles from his hand, sitting at the table and eating with one hand so that she could smile and coo down into Catherine's face while she quickly ate. "All right, darlings, I trust that you can get off to school all right. I hate to rush off this morning, but I have a spot of business to attend to at work." Erin gave her children wide smiles as she got to her feet once more, heading over to the coat rack and struggling into her coat while David helped Elise into her own jacket. After hurried kisses to everyone, they were in the garage, and getting the girls into their car seats before she slid behind the wheel.

"Hey!"

"I need to drive today, David." He nodded before getting into the passenger seat, allowing her to back out of garage and get underway in short order. "Have a wonderful day at preschool, Leelee!" she sang out as Jessica came up to the car and helped David with the girls, which allowed Erin time to think about what she was going to say to Aaron. She still had no good ideas, other than to just blurt everything out, but that was not a great idea. Sighing, she looked over at David as he took his seat once more, a soft smile on her lips as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Everything is going to be fine, Erin. I promise."

"You say that now, I'm just looking to the future, when it becomes common knowledge that I allowed Agent Jareau to be stolen from us." He chuckled as he shook his head, kissing her cheek once more before settling back in his seat while she began the drive to the office. There was a spot close to the entrance, which she was grateful for, as she wanted to get up to her office as quickly as possible. "I'll come to see you as soon as I'm finished with Aaron?" she said as she grabbed her bag from the backseat, and David nodded a little as she left his side to scurry into the building and up the stairs to the sixth floor, knowing that she needed the workout to rid her body of some nervous energy before she went to see Aaron.

"Good morning, Erin. You look harried this morning."

"Because I have to talk to Aaron about the transfer. Would you mind taking my things into the office this morning so that I can get this over with?"

"That's fine," Helen replied as she got to her feet and took Erin's bag and coat. "And don't worry, he'll understand that this is not your doing."

"I pray that you're right." Erin welcomed the feel of her assistant's hand squeezing her shoulder gently, nodding a little as she turned and left her office once more. Thankfully, none of the others had arrived yet, and she walked at a measured pace through the bullpen and up the stairs, pausing in front of Aaron's office to take a deep breath before heading inside. He was at his desk, bent over some paperwork, and she closed the door with a thud so as to get his attention.

"Erin? What brings you here this morning?"

She took a deep breath as she made her way over to the chairs and took a seat, nervously smoothing out invisible wrinkles in her skirt, and wondering if that was her tell. From the look Aaron gave her, she was more than certain it was, and she lifted her chin upwards as she coolly regarded him. "While you were away in California, I was called into a meeting with Director Shepperd and Director Rosenthal." Aaron lifted his eyebrows at the mention of that name, and Erin nodded a little. "I've been looking for a way to say this since that meeting, but I kept hitting a brick wall. I apologise in advance for my bluntness, but there's no way around it. Agent Jareau has been chosen to join the State Department."

His head cocked to one side as a flat expression shuttered over his face. "That's impossible."

"Precisely what I said. However, it was heavily implied that I would be out of a job if I couldn't convince her to take the prestigious job opportunity. I thought that, perhaps, we could talk to her together about it, impress upon her the fact that this would be more money, along with more time at home for her."

"You can't be serious."

"I wish that I wasn't. But you can help me convince her that this is the way things have to be."

He let out a long, frustrated, breath as he stared at her. "And when is she supposed to start this new job of hers?"

"Monday."

"Mon…Monday! As in five days from now?" She nodded. "Jesus, Erin, that is cutting it fine."

"I told you, I didn't know how to broach the subject with you or her. That's why I came to you today, so that we can come up with a strategy and tell her tomorrow. That way, she has the weekend to prepare for her new job." Aaron shook his head. "I know, I know. I'm going to be considered an even larger bitch than I am now by your team, but this has to happen."

"All right, I'll support you, but you're the one who has to do the talking. And I am going to remain as neutral as possible." She nodded, knowing that this was the best that he could give her, her mind wandering to tomorrow and wondering just how badly Agent Jareau would take the news.


End file.
